Any Advice for Student Bullied by Teacher?

[deleted account] ( 59 moms have responded )

I have one kid who is nervous about attending a new school this year. This child was picked on by one of the teachers continually during the school year, and then made fun in front of the class. This teacher offered no extra assistance when he began to have questions about the subject as they advanced in it - and this affected his desire to learn it as well as complete his homework. His grade suffered severely because of this.
Now, the child is not thrilled about school. One of the reasons for a new school is because of the bullying from the teacher (who flat lied about it to the principal and administrators. I heard from the friends how my child was treated in class...). It is sad when you can't keep your child in the same school because of administration bullying.
All I can do is encourage my child to go in with a positive attitude. I have explained that as soon as I find out who the new teacher of the subject is, I will email them and explain the situation to him/her. I will also ask for a meeting during one of the teacher work days before school starts so that my child may meet the teacher and try to establish a small trust then.
We will also meet with the principal for a couple of reasons, this being one of them.
Do any of you have suggestions from personal experience on helping your child recover from teacher/staff bullying?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Darlene - posted on 08/08/2011

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Just be careful not to be too defensive to the new teacher! You want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Most teachers do not bully! I would let her know what happened last year and let her know that you want frequent communication, maybe even provide a notebook that you can jot a quick note to each other to keep in his backpack only:)

Barbara - posted on 02/08/2013

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Go to the teacher first to discuss the problem if that doesn't work go to the principal, then superintendent. If no result request a meeting with the school board document everything. If nothing results from that (they watch each others backs!) go to the State Deptartment of Education.

Bobbi Jean - posted on 11/18/2012

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From the point of view of having had two children with learning disabilities who were bullied by at least one teacher, I cannot improve upon the advice you have already gotten from parents except for one thing. Find out what the district's complaint and appeals process is and use it. You can always request an administrator be at the meeting. It will save meetings. If you don't get results--get a civil lawyer! My kids were both being threatened by teachers in a district other than the one I taught in. We kept records and settled out of court. The first district paid the tuition for my children to attend school in the district where I taught.



From the point of view of a teacher who has had previously bullied children in my class, have a meeting with the new teacher ASAP. Clear communication on this matter always made my job easier. Then I could get down to the business of education.



A bullied child does not become strong, they become troubled. Adults watch out for children and a bully has no place in a child's life, no matter where it is.

Richelle - posted on 08/14/2011

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Definitely do some "surprise" visits to the classroom and speak to the principal. If need be, go straight to the superintendant. Bullying isn't ok. Hang in there.

Jodi - posted on 12/30/2012

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I had a teacher who bullied my 6th grader and I battled it head on. I called a meeting with the teacher and explained to her what my son said happened and that I had no reason to not believe him as he had not proven himself to be a liar. I explained to her that under no circumstances would this continue or I would pull him from her class immediately.

Now in your case it sounds as though the teacher/principal/admin were already involved so I would go directly to the principal and demand they change his class to a different instructor since they can't keep him from being bullied by the teacher. You may also consider having him record her behavior on a cell phone or a small digital recorder of some sort so that you have proof. If I were in your shoes and they didn't comply i would simply take him out of that one particular class and homeschool for that one class. Often times parents are not aware of our rights when it comes to schooling of our kids. We don't have to just put up with whatever they offer. You can homeschool as little or as much as you want, it doesn't even have to be an all or nothing sort of a deal.

editing because I'm a doof and didn't read your OP very well. Your student is going to a new school and won't have this teacher again?? Maybe just make a point to email all the teachers with a friendly hello, I'm so and so's mom.., feel free to email me with any questions or concerns.. always keeping lines of communication open, ect.. Then have a talk with your son about fresh starts, new people, new teachers, and that everyone deserves to be seen for who they are and that he can reserve his judgement for after he meets them and sees what his new teachers are like.

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Jillene - posted on 03/15/2014

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Continued

I do not want to go into personal health issues, but the other issue is RLS; restless leg syndrome (iron deficiency).

My granddaughter's does not understand about RLS. GD occasionally needs to streach her legs after sitting for hours.

Jillene - posted on 03/15/2014

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Basic repost info. (Synopsis)
My granddaughter attends a KCMO Montessori school; she started preschool and currently is in the 3rd grade. She had a good 2 years (preschool and K). She has had the same teacher for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade. In the 1st and 2nd grade she was bullied by several older children. Whenever there was a problem at school, I would ask my granddaughter, "What did your teacher say. Did she see how the children were behaving toward you? What was she doing? Didn't she hear all the evil things they were saying?"

My granddaughter would say she wasn't pay looking (paying attention). After several months, I instructed my granddaughter to tell her teacher what they were doing/saying. She would tell me that her teacher would say, " NO Tattle telling!!!"
Finally one day after my granddaughter said older girls were saying she looked like Chuckie's sister! Chuckie was an evil doll in movie. My granddaughter is very beautiful!! She is bi-racial but looks Native American. She is a sweet child. A few of the black girls are always saying things: skin color, asking is she a white girl, big head, long hair isn't real-it is weave etc............

When children see teacher does not intervene; they see they have the Green light to BULLY !!!

I finally called the principal; things got better. Still my granddaughter remembers the incidents.


3rd grade is better (same teacher).
Problem 3/4/14 - 3/7/14 (daily)

Day 3/4/2014
Granddaughter asked to go to the restroom. Teacher stated, " No; another class is in the restroom now." Granddaughter waited so long she could barely hold it !


3/5/14

Asked to use restroom. Teacher said no; stated a boy was using restroom. When he returned, a girl in 1st gr. Asked to go restroom (RR). Teacher said yes. Jasmine stated she was waiting to go. Teacher stated that my granddaughter is older and is a 3rd grader and should be able to hold it. My baby went to restroom after the 1st grader came back to class. She said she was wiggling in her seat (she had to go really bad).

3/6/14

Granddaughter asked to use restroom. Teacher asked was she through with her math quiz. My granddaughter asked to call me because her stomach was hurting. Teacher stated she could go to the restroom and if her stomach was still hurting when she got back from RR, she could call me!

3/7/14
Large Bumble Bee incident!

Thank you.
Respectfully and Sincerely

PS. I told GD to make sure she uses the RR when the class goes as a group. I asked what time(s) do they go????
GD says no water breaks all day. Impossible, yet she is very thirsty and hungry when she arrives home.

Something is very wrong!!!


Hello. A few days ago I sent an email concerning my granddaughter; I have been hoping to have received a telephone call from the circle of moms. I called the school and teacher stated she was available to meet at 8:00 AM - 8:30. My daughter and I arrived at the KCMO Montessori school about 7:54 AM

The teacher did not come to the front office to meet until 8:15 exactly!!! By the time it would have taken to walk to the teacher's class room, the meeting time would not have been a significant amount of time to talk about all of problems. The principal was not at school; so therefore unavailable.

Carolyn - posted on 10/16/2013

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I really feel for you, I am going through a similar thing and we have just had a meeting with the headmaster, although he dressed the issue down. Reading your experience it has fired me up again and I know believe that my son is a victim with pupils and teachers. We are keeping a very close eye this week. Good luck and keep me posted. Caz xx

Lady - posted on 08/02/2013

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I am so confused by the responses on this website. I would understand if your child had a mean teacher or their personalities clashed. There is always a lesson to be learned in that everyone is different and we may not like all of our teachers but this is not the issue here. These are stories of abuse and humiliation of your helpless children. A teacher is someone with authority and if they choose to bully your child and you allow it you are going to need stop saving for their college fund and start contributing to their therapy fund. I have been been through this it was a fight but worth it to reassure my child if he speaks up for himself I will support him no matter how difficult.

Madame - posted on 05/13/2013

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Get a new teacher! Show your child that you will not put up with anyone bullying him/her. Change schools or homeschool if necessary.

Brianne - posted on 05/12/2013

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It's sad when the very people who say "You can talk to us if you're being bullied" are the ones who are the bullies. I went through this two years ago and it was a lot worse. If It's possible try to arange a time where you can go in and observe while this class is going on. When something like this goes on it can severely effect the child's desire for learning. It can also damage the child's confidence.
I've been arguing with my mother about this for a while now "Which is worse student bullying or teacher bullying?". The answer is teacher bullying. If you're aware of anyone else who you know and has a child who has went through this talk to the parent. You might get tips and advice.
Hope it works out for you and your son xx

Josefina - posted on 04/10/2013

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We often hear about bullies in schools. OKAY "BULLIES IN SCHOOLS" Teacher's, administrators, whom ever, they are so quick to point the finger and say they must get it from home, but why do these teachers think that these students are bullies at school, and not home, perhaps because they see this in the schools not in the home. The main thing is that it is sad that we have to teach our kids to be the bigger person even to some one we are supposed to teach them to look up to. Such as school officials, teachers, administrators and so forth. Now I know that they are underpaid, but it doesn't give them the right to be a bully to our kids, we trust them with our children. Only advise to you mommy dealling with the bully teacher, well jusst remind your child that no matter who no matter what he/she will always be number one, and counter act by making the teacher out to be the stupid one. Use reverse psychology on there asses....

Amy - posted on 12/27/2012

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You may want a meeting with this new teacher but don't put on them what the previous teacher did. We have an awful teacher at my daughters school who bullied my daughter for almost two years. I removed her and home-schooled her because of this and the fact that the Principal and and board would not do anything other than try to blame my strait A student. She is now back in school under the most amazing teacher we have ever known. You cannot let this awful past ruin the future relationship that could occur for your child with a new teacher by muddling it with the facts of the past.

Dominique - posted on 12/25/2012

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Report it. Right away. I knew a person in my high school who was bullied by EVERYONE throughout his education and he committed suicide.
But something important to make sure of is is how he acts at school. Sometimes a student will act inappropriately or say something inappropriate and annoy the other students. Sometimes it's just a child who needs more attention.

Rachel - posted on 12/24/2012

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I think what you are doing is sufficient, and that you have most definitely taken the appropriate steps. Now, give this new teacher a chance. If you keep obsessing over the issue, you are just going to fuel your child's belief that the new teacher is probably a bully.

Bobbi Jean - posted on 11/18/2012

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I am so sorry I forgot to include this in my other post. You might also want to meet with the school counselor and share your concerns. I hope this is a bette ryear for you.

Jane - posted on 11/12/2012

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If your child is being bullied by a teacher i suggest you get help for them to talk it through with a counselor. My child is 15 and has four weeks off school, she was feeling sick, having panic attacks and has lost 1st in weight, I have my GP support to inform the Governors about the teaching who has been humiliating her, using her as an example. She is a quiet child and she has definitely been bullied by this teacher. I am insisting that my child has no contact with this teacher. This has had a big impact on my family and I wouldn't wish this on any family. She has gone back today for a whole day but has woken up feeling sick and had no breakfast........Do something before it is too late!!



I also have an 8 year old who's class is bullied by the teacher, for instance today they cant have break because one pupil giggled. she throws books and pencils, shouts all the time. They are scared of her.......I am awaiting a phone call from the head teacher, i mean business. Good Luck.

Morgan - posted on 11/05/2012

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My child is bullied by her teacher. I just tell her to try hardeder to make it. Yes, she gets teased and breaks down but, it teaches her to be strong.

Anjeli - posted on 10/05/2012

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Hi I was bullied by my sixth grade teacher also, she called me stupid in front of the class. the principal did not so anything, like your child's teacher mine also lied about it. You are doing the right thing by emailing the new teacher and letting him/her know about the situation. The only advice I can give you is keep encouraging your child.Tell him that people who bully are small people, they are unhappy in their own lives. Don't give them the power to make you feel bad, take your power back. Try to let the words.actions roll off you. I know it is hard, I was bullied through school both by teachers and students. Tell your son to hold his head up high and be proud of who he is.

Anjeli

Ashley - posted on 09/30/2012

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Take it to the school district. In our district there is a 0 tolerance for bullying, especially by a teacher. Have your witnesses too. Yoy should have kept a written record of everything by the teacher. Maje sure your son explains exactly how he felt by it all. If that dont work, go above the school district, theres always somebody higher. My son got bullied by his bus driver in first grade. He even let this 5th grader beat him up every day on the bus and nwver did anything about it. So I told my son to defend hiself next time. The kid tried to trip him as he was getting off the bus and my son punched him in the nose. I was standi.g outside the bus when I heard the driver yellibg at my son using profanities. I got on the bus and gave him a piece of my mind. Then called the bus barn and they watched the tapes. My son hadnt told me but when they watched the tapes they saw the driver throw my son in the seat and hit him with his backpack. Needless to say, he is no longer a bus driver. And my son hasnt had any other problems like that or from that kid.

Amanda - posted on 04/28/2012

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Yup I definitely have some advice for you. I'd have your son video tape or record her in action. They just had the same situation reported on the news a few nights back and the teacher is gone, and the kiddo moved to a new school. Its bad enough having kids being bullies, but teachers? Nope, I don't think so! I know my kids school has zero tolerance for any kind of bullying! Good luck:)

[deleted account]

Where do you live? Where is this child's school?
I would personally go there if possible and speak on your behalf to someone! This is absolutely unacceptable behavior for any adult, and especially a school teacher, to make towards a child...a very serious matter.
If anything, I would suggest focusing on this particular person (the teacher) and in some way make them PUBLICLY accountable and known for their actions.
Good luck with this and much love from me to you and your child.

Donna - posted on 04/18/2012

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Bullying is against the law and the school systems in my area take this very seriously. I think you should have persued to have that teacher removed because they are an adult and should know that is not correct behavior.



Now that you child is in a new school doesn't mean that what he/she went through went away. I would go to the school and speak with the Principal regarding you and your child's concerns. The school has resources that can help your child and with the transition of a new environment. Each school system should have a person that handles bullying and that would be a good place to look.

Sylvia - posted on 04/18/2012

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You need to keep going up the ladder until it can be fixed. Before they start making it out that your child is the problemnot the teacher.

Amy - posted on 04/16/2012

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I had a simular situation with my daughter's 4th grade teacher. The teacher was deaf in one ear, and had a short temper (not a good combination). She berated my daughter, along with a boy with asbergers, and other children in front of the class. If she felt that the student wasn't doing things exactly the way she wanted them done, she made them sit outside the classroom, unchaperoned, until recess or lunch. She insulted several students, and talked at length about her personal problems with her teenage daughter, all in front of a bunch of 4th graders. When my daughter brought this to my attention, I was appalled. Apparently this teacher thought that she could bully my husband and I at the conference, which is laughable. I was wearing a Metallica t-shirt, jeans, and a black leather motorcycle jacket. When I expressed my concerns regarding what I was told, the teacher denied it. It was all I could do to keep from going "Mama Lion" on this hyena. I brought it up to the principal, who did look in to it and the teacher was reprimanded. Apparently, the teacher didn't learn because when my daughter had her again in 5th grade, it started again. I brought it directly to the principal, without talking to the teacher. The teacher was offered early retirement.

So, stick to your guns and fight for your child. If the principal doesn't help, go over their head and follow it all the way you can. Also, one of the things that helped me was talking to the other parents whose children were bullied (like the classmate of my daughter who has asbergers) and unite. If one parent complains, the principal may easily ignore it, thinking that the parent has a problem with the teacher or believes that their child can do no wrong. But, if 10 parents all have the same complaints, the principal would have to notice.

Darlene - posted on 04/16/2012

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I did leave something out. When my 5th grade teacher picked on me, she also picked on one other kid, we were paired together and she would hit our knuckles with a ruler (back in the day) put us in front of the class for her and the class to make fun of us...I was shy & quiet, he was the class clown. My Dad quickly put a stop to the abuse & because of her mis-treatment to so many children, she lost her teaching license.

In the system today, teachers are not allowed to do that but that does not mean they are not picked on or mis-treated. I sent my daughter to a christian school and in Kindergarden, her teacher was not very kind to her and a few other children, she would make them feel as if they were not good enough, stupid and give them no help in class. Then 1st grade she was picked on by another girl that was ADHD (my nephew is severe ADHD), they ended up becoming best friends but my point is, children are not protected from this kind of thing and if parents don't stand up for their children, no one will. I chose to home school my daughter and my nephew who was also mis-treated so badly because of his condition. They both have friends, love homeschool and are 2 years ahead of the public school system.

Take a stand with the school system. Protect your child.

Kris - posted on 04/16/2012

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Actually I was the kid in this case that was being bullyed by a teacher. I refused to go to school and would start crying everytime the subject was brought up. Finally my mom attended school with me (it was the 6th grade) to observe. Next she used to sit in front of the school and wait till 9:30 AM. If all was well she went home. If I felt threatened in the least way, I asked to be excused from the class to go to the restroom and met her. She and I went to the principles office and he was forced to deal with it. In fact she came everyday for a week and waited for me. Finally, I was moved from that class into a class with a different teacher which changed everything for me.....happy ending. I hope it doesn't go to the same extreme for you and your child. Just know that in this day and age, you are your childs best friend when it comes to the school system. It sounds like you all ready have a great plan in the works! Give yourself a BIG hug. Sounds like you a great parent! Make that school staff deal with you...they have the power to turn young people off from education....Lord only knows why?

Darlene - posted on 04/16/2012

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I am so very sorry that had to happen to your child. It is never easy to see a child bullied by the other children let alone one of the teachers. I was bullied by my 5th grade teacher and it bothers me to this day. I am 51 now, and I have not ever forgotten what that woman did to me. As other Mom's have said, make records, talk to the Principal, go to the school board, just don't let it go.

We, as parents have to watch out for our children, keep them from harm. I don't know if this was helpful for you, I hope it was. Things will work out for you, just stand your ground with bullies.

Jamie - posted on 04/13/2012

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Well i also have need advice about a teacher Bullying i guess you could call it - Shes picking on her and she gets on to her more then she does any other student - the kids have had less homework than my daughter has. This teacher sent 22 pages of homework over Christmas break i thought christmas break was suppose to be just that a break. But the teacher put it to us as "She didnt want them to forget anything" well thats the whole point of a break is to let your mind free from school - She basically made it to where if she didnt do it she would get a 0 for the work. and then she sends 22 pages total of homework - So yeah over christmas break, thanksgiving break and also Fall break she had home work the only break she didnt have home this past week because she has been taking her state testing.



My daughter is in the 5th grade she is 11 years old and she has a teacher who takes it over board - My daughter also had the ADD its not horrible on the ADD she is not hyper active she can sit for long periods of times but she is on her add meds and it has been working - we have had to adjust it which is normal. From the beginning of school this teacher has been giving her issues - The teacher came from a Kindergarden teacher to 5th grade in a different town - idk how she was in Kindergarden as a teacher however as a 5th grader she is NOT a good teacher.



Everybody who has 3rd grade and up i believe knows what AR is (Accelerated Reader) where you have to read so many books for so many points in the 9 wks of school - the 1st and 2nd nine weeks my daughter did manage to make her goal as far as we know - the 3rd nine weeks (which happens to be about 3 and half weeks ago ) she missed the goal by 3points - the teacher decided to put the fear of god into them and told them that IF they did not make this goal they would have lost the following:

1. the End of the year sleep over party (which is a normal consequence for all the kids regardless of the grade)

2. they would lose Recess

3. they would lose P.e.

4. IF it rains and they play games they are not allowed to play - she would have to sit outside in the hall or in the room and watch them play while she is reading-



We went to the Principal and she said she would take care of it as this teacher had also Embarrassed her by putting everybodys name up on the board that DID make the goal and then turned around and on the right hand side put "Did not" and had a square box and put my daughters name is in the box. I was obviously upset and I went to the school 1st to see if i could get a picture of the board - and I got a few pictures of it - We went to the principal and i showed her the picture and she said she would "take care of it" well from past experience her and this teacher were really close and they were best buds and she didn't ever do anything about this teacher - So I also the same day went to the Super Intendent - Showed him the picture that i had taken that morning and explained what was going on and he said He would make sure it was taken care of - We had just started the 4th 9 weeks. and this is was ridiculous - she is still punishing my daughter for not making the goal - Thursday April 5th they had a Easter Party @ School the whole Elementry school did - she was not able to go over to hide Easter eggs - They had Ice Cream Sundae's and my daughter was NOT allowed to have a Ice Cream Sundae @ all. Not even have a bite from her friends @ all - Infact one of her friends went up to the teacher and had asked "Can i give her a bite of mine " and the teacher turned around and said "NO SHE DIDN'T MAKE THE AR GOAL SO NO SHE CAN NOT HAVE ANY AT ALL !!! " Then she turned around and asked if anybody wanted a Soda and this other little girl said she would like one and she turned around and looked at her and said "DID I ASK YOU !" and ignored her and didn't give her a soda -

Like i said after this incident i went BACK up to the school and spoke to the Super Intendent however since this is the week of the State testing there isnt really much he can do but he did go into the room this past Tuesday the 10th of April and was sitting in there for a bit. The Elementary Principal has been fired and unable to finish out the rest of the year due to her husband not being hired by the school -- But also because the principal also decided to call one of the kids or the parent a "Walking crack head" and she made the statement to another set of parents which told the first set of the parents that she had said that about - then they went to the school board they didn't mess with the super intendent and honestly -- I feel maybe that is what i should be doing is going to the school board but honestly i am trying to do whats right at least give the Super Intendent benefit of the doubt. He did fix or so what we thought he fixed the first part of the teacher taking the recess the recess was given back on a Tuesday and 2 days later on a thursday which happened to be the party.



I am just so frustrated and upset - my daughter is upset and it does effect her work - i have noticed a HUGE difference this week because she hasnt once had to put up with her teacher until yesterday - She is going out for Track the coach was not going to be there and he for some reason asked the teacher which happens to be my daughters teacher that's giving her a hard time. Yesterday she came home UPSET along with her friend because, she is seeing that the teacher is harder on her then anybody else - they were suppose to run 2 laps But if they run and then walk it is usually ok at least its still exercise - they said that the coach doesn't do anything and that he is alright with it. But however, she let all the other girls run then walk and not do any extra but then she made my daughter do 2 EXTRA laps around the track - I dont understand what she is punishing her for - shes the one that's bringing this all on herself by getting into trouble with her boss - I am not the ONLY parent that has issues - Does anybody know what i could do or how to go or where to go from here?

Francesca - posted on 04/08/2012

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Wow this is just disgusting. I can't believe we entrust our beautiful and innocent children to these people and they can treat them this way. When my eldest was 5-7 we had issues similar. Like you we changed school (as well as found out he had aspergers, which is why the school had a painted him with the "problem child" brush). I did all the things you have said and along with talking to him and the teaches and keeping very involved he settled in very quickly and saw the rest of his primary school life with care and support. I have learned through that experience, and advise from subsequent teachers that if any of my children have issues with a teacher the best thing to do is have the child removed from that teachers class and if that is not possible be as present as possible so the teacher is aware you have your eyes on them. Even older children often don't have a voice and I believe it is our job to be their voice, no matter how hard it is to stand up to the "authorities". Often the childhood professionals can make parents feel inadequate or unable to advocate for your children, however we are the ones who know our children best. Good on you Love my kids, and best of luck.

Tamara - posted on 04/07/2012

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I am re-reading my 123 Magic parenting book and I have ordered the 123 magic for teachers dvd as well as the parenting dvds. I feel that the discipline method is out of date and ineffective and actually allowing the children to be accountable for their behaviour. I feel there is too much talking and too much emotion in what they are doing.



The deputy admitted to me that they can't get to the area where my child is playing before it starts. To me there is simply not enough supervision in the play area. Unfortunately though, my child now has a label and the teacher has it in for him.



We are relocating the children to another school, this time private, I have to wait until the end of next term though because my daughter (who is settled with a wonderful teacher) is involved in the school play. So with all commitments to the school out of the way, we will be able to leave gracefully.



In the meantime though, I am still going to demand they review the behaviour management policy and I will also write to the President of the P&C committee also with a request for this to happen. This school is going to become an independent public school next year so it is the opportune time to review such strategies and hopefully get it right this time.



My husband just told me that when he was a kid at that school, they didn't have yellow cards and time out. It beats me how such an oppressive form of discipline has to be in place when there are better strategies out there that actually promote self deiscipline in children. This doesn't. It's obvious as my child keeps landing in there. Unless of course, it is the teachers and the other students who are calling the shots.

Stacy - posted on 04/07/2012

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This question reminds me of a story about my grandma and my dad. My dad had a male teacher that was not nice to him. One time, he grabbed my dad by the ear and pushed him up against the wall. Then, with a finger in his face yelled at him. When my grandma heard about this she went up to the school, pulled the teacher out of class by his ear, pushed him up against the wall and with a finger in his face told him for his own good he better never treat her son like that again. I don't personally believe in handling situations like this, however that teacher left my dad alone after that.

Tamara - posted on 04/05/2012

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I haven't shifted them yet. I have to tread carefully. There is still information to gather. Today my son came home and told me he was in timeout for two periods (80 minutes total away from the classroom). I spoke to the deputy just last night and explained what happened on Monday that would have caused his behaviour and I asked for the punishment to not go ahead. My son was sick for two days and for the first time ever, the teacher sent work home for him to do. We of course didn't do it. He went to school today, went to assembly, did the Easter parade, had recess and then had to go to the office straight after recess until lunch time for what he had done on Monday.

My poor husband came home fuming. I blurted out "Right we're changing schools" and of course the kids got upset. I rang my counselor yet again to tell her what had just happened and she talked me through the steps and listened yet again and agreed.

I am going to view this school and meet the principal on my own over the holidays and I am also going to write a letter of complaint to the current school principal outlining my grievances and demand that I find out more information for myself as to what is actually going on. While I am working with the current school I will be gathering as much information as possible on the new school in terms of buses etc and also find a piano teacher in that town who can teach my kids as the current one is just around the corner from our current school. I want to see for myself what my son is doing in the playground and a copy of my letter will be sent to the Department of Education in order to make the Principal accountable. I need the information so that I can sort this issue out. It is hanging over us like a black cloud and I will not have my child be given a bad reputation for innocent behaviour.



I aim to relocate the children by the end of next term with everything in place. It may be a bumpy ride but we have to do something or else they will do it again and again to other children.

Anjeli - posted on 04/04/2012

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I know how your child feels, My sixth grade teacher picked on me and called me stupid in front of the whole class because I was struggling with a subject. This affected me for most of my life. I hated going to school and would play sick to get out of it. My parents talked to the principal but the damage was already done. Now as a teacher and a parent, you are doing the right thing by encouraging your child about school and letting his new teacher about the situation. Hopefully this new teacher will have a positive affect on your child. I am sure you are already doing this but every time your child makes a good grade in anything but especially that one subject build him up. Things like look how smart you are!!! Hope this helps and good luck!

Josefina - posted on 04/04/2012

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I read paragraph one and line one of the second paragrah of this post. Needless to say I can read no more on that issue. For starters, of corse the teacher will cop duces she doesn't want to lose her job, however I think if you could gather your child, and his/her friends that will not be afraid to confront the slimey pos poor excuse for a teacher, and go to the administrator. I think that will put an end to it. Or me being the ORNERY person that I am, I would seek a specialized side tutor for my child, then i would INSTRUCT my child to kill this teacher with her own material, and possibly make an ass out of this teacher. NO CHILD, should ever bare humiliation, of any sort from any such person, especially a teacher. My last resort, I would go and bully her. Come on now, that will make her retaliate against your child yes i know but it will also prove to the administrator her lack of professionalism and his/her inability to treat his/her students with any respect what so ever. Now don't make me get ghetto on his or her ass, cuz i can, and I will. Hope this helps!!!

Tamara - posted on 04/03/2012

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I have heard that a strong principal gives a ripple down effect to make an overall strong school. We have a really lovely lady at the head of our school but she is soft and the staff are her friends. You can't have a soft principal at the helm it just doesn't work. I can see her staff treading all over her behind her back and doing what seems to be their way. I could be wrong. All objectivity has slid from my view. My gut tells me to get the heck out of there but I live in a rural area and the school that I am looking at transferring my children to is further away in the car that the current one. I can see positives and negatives involved in shifting schools and at the moment I am gthering information that I need to really settle on a decision. I have to leave this school with decorum because if the plan doesn't work, then we have to come back. This is the preferred school for our location and we have a bus but the other school I'm looking at doesn't have a bus close by and the chances of getting one are slim. I am planning to take the kids to look around over the holidays and to meet the prinicpal and because it is a private school, he will be around. I can gather pros and cons from there and then speak with our current principal again by herself and go from there. I need to be thorough as you only get one go at educating your children.



I kept my son home yesterday as I couldn't stand the idea of forty minutes in isolation for something the teacher saw as wrong (getting a little carried away in jest) at the end of the day while playing a game. The class teacher obviously had a chat with this lady because she was the one who phoned me and said "I'm not sure if she is going to give him a yellow card or not". After speaking with the school psych later that evening, I found out that yes she was giving him one. My actions are justifiable.

[deleted account]

@ Bethany ---- substitute teachers are sometimes the most difficult to bear. Many feel they should be extremely strict so as to maintain classroom discipline in the regular teacher's absence. Sometimes a bit of advice from the principal is in order. Also, however, having had lunch room duty in the past myself, I have known children who just feel they have to "get the last word" in any conversation. That could seem to prompt undue responses from a new teacher who is struggling to make his or her way. I have told my own children that whenever their teacher, lunch monitor, etc. says anything about their behavior, it is best to just say "yes Mrs. Martin", stop the behavior immediately, then tell me when they get home. It's my job to stand up for them. If they do it themselves, it can be, and often is, considered backtalk. Not a good thing. Remember, the teacher is responsible not for just one or two children, but sometimes for several hundred.

Bethany - posted on 04/03/2012

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i feel you.. ever since my 8 yr old son has gotten a substitute last nov-dec. ( around jan. the original teacher came back half day. she stays in the morning and the sub comes for the afternoon) he has started to act up immensely. He wouldnt want to go to school and wouldnt say why so he would say he was ill all the time w no signs of illness whatsoever. He finally said he doesnt like his substitute because she hands out those "yellow" cards like crazy to him and itll be his entire table that was acting up , yet he was the only one who would get these "cards" . He started losing recess ( which was his fave part of the day) and stopped caring about his school work/homework. he puts no effort into it and he hates every lil min. of school yet we have to send him. Its horrible. I have heard this from my sons friends mothers that they too do not like this new sub i just need to get involved and find out what her issue is. these are 2nd graders who are still learning social skills and behavoirs....

I feel as though most importantly , which you mentioned, was to get this child to bond w a new teacher one on one, so he or she can feel a personal connection w them and maybe itll be an easier transition for them. And just keep everything positive , positive, positive ,.. even when its looking a bit ugly...Let them know that some people have problems knowing when to be mature and they dont mean to attack or make them feel this way, but that they have problems they need to work on and to just ignore the bullying for now. If they cannot be removed from the situation that is...and good luck and keep your head(s) up :)

[deleted account]

As an educator, I know teachers can be bullies too ! My advice, report the facts to the principal. If you are convinced of the truth, report it to the superintendent and the school board for a full investigation.

Ursula - posted on 04/03/2012

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It is sad when children are being affected by teacher's behaviour. Well if you have spoken to the teacher, the principal and no one seems to listen, you can talk to the board of education. I'm currently busy assisting a child who have gone through a situation at school where she now don't realy want to go to school. She cries most of the time and it affects her ability to improve. Instead of tutoring how to read I help her in all areas. She is very happy when she is with me but at school she is a total different child. Infact she is a very smart child but now is deeply scarred. I know sometimes we want to take the child out and place her in another school or are maybe happy she /he is in another teacher's class. BUT that is a problem on its own. Now the child has to learn how to cope or trust someone else and of course will be scared. That may take months. The damage has been done but we can change all of that. Wee need to remain calm, stay positive and just assure the child that things will be okay soon. Be careful what you say infront of the child. Rather confront situation when he/she not around you. Believe me it just makes matters worse.

Sitting in a teachers class or checking on your child is okay bt that would just agravate the situation and at the end it is your child that suffers.

The child is now under phycologist and my prayer is that she will get the necessarily help that is needed. Cos when the child suffers it ceryainly affects the parents and those around them. Everything of the best.

Tamara - posted on 04/02/2012

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This is my third attempt at writing this post.



My son is in his first year of primary school and started off doing very well. He received a certificate at the first assembly for a great start to the year but unfortunately wasn't there to receive it because he was doing an OT therapy session at the time.



Reports of my son's behaviour seemed to have gone down hill from that week and it has recently peaked two weeks ago with constant phone calls from the school and handing out yellow cards indicating he was isolated during school time for misbehaving.



My son's teacher sees him as being aggressive, yet I find it very hard to believe. We went to a birthday party over the weekend where there were several children and two of his classmates were there also. My son wasn't aggressive in any way towards any of them and on talking to other mums they were actually surprised to find out such an accusation.



My son is tall, wears glasses is kind, polite, respectful on the majority of occasions and empathetic. He tends to stand with hands on hips alot but then this is mimicking my posture and stance. He does tend to shout in order to be heard and this is generally because his grandfather lives nearby and is hard of hearing. In fact we are all rather loud. He even tends to get carried away with doing something when having fun and doesn't stop straight away. He is a fun loving child who likes to have his own way but knows what no means and being six, still likes to win and be best and isn't quite there yet with losing with grace. The teachers seem to be picking on every little detail of his behaviour and he unfortunately scored another yellow card yesterday right before the end of school for a reponse to a teacher's comment whilst playing "Duck duck goose". She apparently (according to my son) said "Now there are four roast ducks in the centre" where upon my son playfully and without the intention to hurt attempted to bite another child where he got too carried away didn't hear the teacher ask him to stop and almost bit the child - fortunately he didn't get the skin.



Can you see where the six year old playfulness comes in with launching into pretend mode?



If my child was aggressive, I would see it and I don't. If my child were a bully I would see it yet I don't. I feel that his teachers have gone from doing their job properly to forgetting all about the difference in age within the class and developmental levels of each part of development. They are also forgetting that I have come to them with reports that my child has reported to me of being bullied.



I rang the WA education department today and was told to speak to the whole school principal. I have done this on several occasions about other issues I have had in the past and even though she seems to listen, nothing has been implemented.



This may not be as bad as some stories but I truly believe my son's teacher has a vendetor against him.



I believe that as parents we need to uphold our responsibility to our children to protect them and have them feel safe and satisfied at school. So to all the ladies who have issues with schools and teachers targetting their children, I hope you find the solutions to your own individual cases and the support that your families deserve because it is tough to be acknowledged and heard when a complaint is given by you against a member of staff at a school. And it is even tougher for something big to be done about it without the support around you.

Angela - posted on 04/02/2012

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This teacher is the same way with my daughter and many others in the class. She berates them in front of the other children and is constantly yelling at them. I met with the principal and it was a HUGE waste of my time. I've been very diligent since about the 2nd week of school about keeping EVERYTHING from this teacher.........I had a bad feeling about her from the get go. Unfortunately, the principal said that she is free to do whatever she pleases in her classroom. Made me wonder if I had slid back into the past when it was acceptable to treat children so poorly. One poor little boy in my daughter's class is terrified to the point of vomitting a few mornings a week before school. At one point (when we were in the middle of a horrible disagreement with this teacher), my daughter chewed her lip and cheek until she had a huge sore. She has NEVER done anything like that before. I'm not stopping until this issue is addressed. It may cost me my job but my daughter deserves to know that she is worth standing up for. She deserves to know that she is NONE of the terrible things this teacher has called her.

Rebekah - posted on 04/02/2012

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OMG!!! what is with teachers thinking that they can do, say and act anyway they want without accountability???

I have read SO many stories like this lately, and I myself am dealing with it.

My 11 yr old daughter with Aspergers has been yelled at, berated in front of the class, and humiliated- ALL by her teacher.

Bullying is awful enough, but to be done by a teacher in front of an entire class....

when the school wouldn't take it seriously enough to 'handle' it I went higher- now I am dealing with the district office and have a 'recorded and video taped' meeting in a few days.

WHERE is the accountability????

how can ANY child learn in such a hostile learning environment?

Teachers like to act like they are above the rules... THEY ARE NOT!

There are laws in place to protect our children, we just have to be willing to accept the fact that in advocating for our kids and stepping up to fight their system that we look like lunatics. lol. Personally I do not mind... lol.. their fear of what I will bring down on them keeps them from being inappropriate with my daughter. :)

Angela - posted on 04/01/2012

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My 11 year old daughter is going through a teacher bullying situation right now. It is completely heartbreaking to watch. Principal's attitude is just as bad....all he could talk about was how much children love him. Out of frustration, my child was untruthful with this teacher in the midst of a HORRIBLE situation (the lie was about how many homework problems she had completed). Principal said that she lied once so we couldn't "in good faith" address any situation involving this teacher. I have older children so I've been doing the school thing for almost 20 years and have never seen anything like what is going on with my 11 year old. I only recall one other time in all those years where I had an issue with a teacher that warranted going to the principal. I am also an employee of the school district....which complicates things a little. Other parents have also filed complaints about this teacher but the principal refuses to do anything. I have followed the "proper procedure" and will not give up. My child deserves to know that she is important enough to fight for. Don't give up.............eventually someone will listen to you and help you.

Jenine - posted on 03/28/2012

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DO NOT continue dealing with the principal or school administrator if you have gotten nowhere at this point.



DO record all meetings via audio tape but make sure they are aware you are recording if it is the law for you to do so. Otherwise you do not need to disclose that you are recording.



DO file a complaint with the School Board always in writing, not the phone and not in person. Make sure you certify and get a return receipt. also send a fax if you can and explain your situation that way for a fax transmission receipt.



DO get someone to write the letter for you if you have trouble getting your point across in two short paragraphs. Have dates handy and names of witnesses handy. Start documenting everything.



THE REALITY OF YOUR SITUATION:

Serious offenses must be handled by the police and entered on the abuser or perpetrator's police record or Juvenile Record if a repeat offender. Check this out. If no prior record - school administrators will not have an easy way to handle this especially if no witnesses will come forward. They can take some actions against bullies and perpetrator(s) who are students or teachers but they are not police officers. They open themselves up to lawsuits when they fail to report violent bullying but if there is no physical contact from the teacher it is difficult without witnesses to get a sense of the mental anguish to the child caused by the teacher.



Please make sure your child is being honest with you. We all want to believe our parenting skills and love for our children is enough. Some kids do not realize the damage they cause when falsely accusing a teacher of something just to be able to get out of a classroom or school so they can register at another one where a friend is attending. It can be a way to see that new girlfriend or boyfriend they met but attends a different school. Just cross your t's dot your i's. Then move forward. If you believe your child and know that he is a victim's of abuse from a teacher, then proceed with this one thought in mind.



Back up. Get your nose as far away from "the tree" (the problem) as possible, You have been standing there with your nose pressed up against this tree which is why you are feel frustrated and powerless. Start looking at the entire forest. Is the problem really about "the tree" anymore (a teacher bullying) or is it perhaps now "the forest"? It may be time to notify the "Rangers" (School Board, City or State Officials) rather than dealing with tone "gardener" (School Principal) only authorized to look after his one tree. (the school).



Take full advantage of all "Bullying" organizations (non-profit) who deal with this sort of thing and who love to help kids who are being bullied by teachers. START GOOGLING and Good Luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 03/26/2012

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I am going threw the after effects of my son being bullied by a teacher. He would get "points" for going to the bathroom and not completing his work. He had slient lunch almost everyday. He finally had enough and went up the hall screaming he hated her. I was able to have his class changed and trust and believe the teacher knew everything I thought about her by the end of our meeting. My son has contracted a trust issue with teachers. It became so bad that the office became his safe place not a place for punishment.

I would suggest visiting his school more often. If you can go in and sit with him while the teacher is teaching. The new teacher may respect you wishes by being nicer to him in the beginning. You must watch it because, it may be that one day she is just having a bad day and your son picks up on it. He could relapse into the same tendences because of what happend at his former school.

Jessica - posted on 03/26/2012

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sounds like you already have it all figured out. just support him and reassure him. Not much else you can do. Time will heal.

Tina - posted on 03/24/2012

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Wow. What this poor kid went through. I would follow through chain of command and definitely get some satisfaction over this situation. Bullying from ANYONE is illegal as it interferes with the learning process, Have any other students been through the same thing? Their input, even if it is just on paper could prove invaluable for your son's case. Let your son know that under NO circumstance is bullying appropriate, ESPECIALLY from a teacher! I don't know if there is any basis for legal action, but I would go at this teacher with both guns blazing. If the school board will not help due to the teacher lying, go to the state board of education. Go to your local respresentative. If you have to, get the media involved. Whatever it takes to help your child, then that is what you should do. I would stop only short of killing someone to protect my child. Good luck to you- you and your son will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[deleted account]

lol Advice Other then punch the teacher??? Uhm take your kid out of school put them in a new school if not that there is always home schooling, if there are other teachers that can teach the same thing you can easily switch to that teacher you have the right to do so.. and don't let them tell you otherwise :)



And Bri! yes teachers lie all the time I know I am a teacher and can not stand being in the teachers lounge, not only do they lie for each other they have to sign a paper that puts all teachers in agreement they do not speak of the things used in the school such as punishments and it is really bad for special needs children.. this year I have refused to teach in a public school do to what I went threw last year and what I saw done to special needs kids..



Teachers hold meetings and everything to save their own butt's, we had meetings almost weekly on what to say to parents and who to send them to if certain questions were asked. That's just the way it is.. and do to the cut off in money for many schools it is getting worse, teachers are getting hired with little to no education because people with the education to teach right and handle children right are not getting paid enough any more so they find other jobs instead of teaching.



Now there are good teachers that will not lie, or hurt children with words or worse and teach because they love kids but they are few and far in-between.. Out of oh almost 10 years I have met 1 other then myself..

Bri - posted on 03/15/2012

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maybe the friends were lying to you about it, doesnt seem possible teachers lie to other teachers about things

Louise - posted on 03/07/2012

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I was never the best behaved kid, but I had a teacher in 7th grade that would make me sit outside of the portable every day in the hot sun. I would wear band t shirst and jeans it was the grunge style. She asked me in front of my class one day (after I had sat outside for hours and I live in florida) if I took showers or used deoderant. At one point the teacher asked me if I went to church or found jesus. I had to laugh at that point because that's why she didn't like me. She thought I worshiped the devil because I wore metal t shirts and listened to that type of music. I actually still do. I looked at her and said yes I am catholic and we go to church every Sunday. She then asked me the last time I had gone, and being the type of kid I was I told her it was none of her bussiness. I ended up snapping after she would nnot let me in the class to get my back pack after once again being put outside. It was a fri and I had money and my diamond earings in the bag. She shut the door on me so I grabbed a rock smashed in the window next to the door grabbed my back pack and went home. I was placed in special classes with some seriously disturbed kids after that for my (anger issues). My parents believed the teacher,and I went through all of high school labeled emotionally handicap. The funniest part of all of this is I'm an honors student in college. I wasn't a bad kid I was the product of one teachers ability to push a kid too far!

Amy - posted on 08/15/2011

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I can totally relate. My son's Pre-K teacher was such a bully. My son is sensory seeking and she has no patience. She told me that she doesn't do well with little boys. What?! Why was she teaching? Small children are a challenge anyway, but add in sensory proccessing issues and you will be worn out by the end of the day. I transferred him to a different school as well. He is happy that he doesn't have to go back to the school he was attending. I think you are taking all the right steps to make the transition as smooth as possible. If you feel there is bullying going on in the classroom, you can request that a child development specialist be allowed in the room to observe. Make them think they are there to observe the child though, not the teacher.

Chelley - posted on 08/14/2011

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And, pop in to the school one in a while to offer support and see what is going on.

Patricia - posted on 08/08/2011

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I am glad to read that you are going to be involved with keeping your child safe and at ease with going to school.

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