Any sugestion on how to talk about strangers with my three year old?

Heather - posted on 05/29/2009

I am not sure what to tell you, but I did want to share what we do. My son is 4. We play a game everytime we get in the car... we will pass a car or store and I will say 'is that guy/girl in the parking lot/car/store/etc a friend or a stranger?' And he tells me. Then I say 'is nana/daddy/mommy/or a friends name a friend or a stranger?' And he answers. Then I try and quiz him and say things like 'if you are walking with mommy at the store and someone comes up to you and says I have some candy come with me and you get some, what do you do?' And he answers me. We haven't ever been in a situation where it was put to the test, and I pray we aren't, but if it ever comes up I pray he remembers out little game.



Now if we are out and someone he doesn't know talks to him, he will look at us almost for a 'is it ok to talk to this person I do not know'...

Katherine - posted on 05/28/2009

I'm sure this may be on the video, but if it is not, I want to share my story. Since my son was about 3 or four years old, I explained to him that not all people are kind. There are some people in this world that are very mean and bad people and it is extremely important to never speak to strangers unless I or a family/family friend was with him. I explained that sometimes these mean people can look nice, have candy and dogs, etc.. but it does not mean they are going to be kind. I spoke to him about if he is ever lost outside to find a police officer/fire fighter/paramedic, etc... to help him find his way back to me. I never thought to explain how to proceed if he ever go lost in a store. Well, one day, we were at Walmart and I sent him to the next aisle where I thought his dad was and told him to come back if he wasn't there. He didn't see daddy and he didn't come back. About 5 minutes later, I was done shopping in that aisle and went looking for Devonn and his dad. When I find his dad, Devonn wasn't with him. Of course, I panicked for what seemed like forever when it was really only about 2 minutes when I heard his dad's name over the intercom to report to electronics. I ran back there and was so relieved to see him. He was crying a little and I was so emotional. I waited until we got home to discuss what happened. I asked him what happened and he explained he didn't see daddy in the next aisle so he went back to the last place he saw him which was by the toys. I asked him if he was crying because he was scared and he said no. He then told me he was crying because he thought I was going to be mad at him for talking to a stranger without me being around. My heart just sank. This never crossed my mind. I immediately stressed that he did nothing wrong and I wasn't mad at him. I told him if he ever got lost again to locate someone wearing a nametag and ask them to call for me like they had at Walmart. I told him to NEVER leave the store with that person and NEVER go into the bathroom with that person either. I hope this helps if it is not on the DVD. I would never want this to happen to anyone else. Good luck to you.

Leeannne - posted on 05/28/2009

Order on line........ "The Safe Side" www.thesafeside.com
My 4 yr old loves it!

Charline - posted on 05/26/2009

Thank you all for the good ideas, I especially like the DVD.

Jamie - posted on 05/26/2009

Pick up a book from the library on strangers, and read it over and over. Have other imortant people in her life read it to her too. Explain the best u can, in ur own words also. The DVD posted above also sounds like a great idea.

Cliffette - posted on 05/26/2009

STRANGER DANGER The Safe Side Stranger Safety DVD works really well! They sell it for like $13. It breaks down the difference between strangers into "dont knows, kinda knows and saftey side adults" Its hard for kids to understand the differnece and now a days they need to know its not safe to go with anyone not even a teacher so check out the dvd...Im sure theyll enjoy it as much as you'll enjoy the way its broken and narrated by John Walsh

S - posted on 05/26/2009

My soon to be 5 year old son is also extremely outgoing. He has learned to politely ask people their names and introduce himself -- and despite my attempts to gently explain "stranger danger" he is convinced that a brief introduction equals life-long friendship.

I make sure to point out instances in children's shows/videos when children deal appropriately or inappropriately with strangers. I am also loooking to the local library for child-friendly books.

Charline - posted on 05/26/2009

Yes it is everywhere and the person could have a dog or a cool gadget and she interested. You are right though constant reminding at that age. I dont want her scardred out of her mind but I want her to be aware of what is around her. Thanks!

Cathy - posted on 05/25/2009

Just tell her 'we don't know him, honey, so just stay near Mommy'. If its just saying 'hi' while passing strangers on the street, that's ok, but just keep reminding her to stay close to you for safety. Does it happen at the mall, and the park? Just reminders to not go far away from you, and if she really likes the look of someone and wants to talk to them, to ask you to come along. Lots of reminders at that age.