anyone else with very picky eaters?

Carin - posted on 06/23/2009

Just a warning before you read further -- you may get upset reading this.



My oldest daughter was a picky eater - to be entirely honest, all three of my kids were picky eaters. I was to blame for not putting my foot down and saying they had to eat what I made, etc. Now (this is the part that may upset you), my daughter and my son have high cholesterol and they are only 10 and 6 years old respectively. My daughter has an extremely high metabolism and is underweight because of her metabolism. The picky eating does not help the situation. The doctor told me that I had to get it under control - "make healthy foods and they will eat when they are hungry" but my daughter is very stubborn and went three days with no food that I saw (doesn't mean that Daddy did not sneak her some). It scared me because she did not even seem to be hungry - I caved and ordered pizza to get her to eat. Finally, I explained to her that she is old enough to understand that if she does not eat the healthy foods she will have to be put into the hospital. She was still not ready to work with us so I came up with a reward system. If they eat the meals I make without being reminded to eat it all or not to complain about it for Sunday through Thursday, they can pick out what we eat on Friday or Saturday. Since they cannot have certain foods due to the cholesterol, I have their favorite meals written on index cards (spaghetti, wheat pizza, etc) and that is what they get. We have been doing this for almost a year - and there were more than a few rough spots, especially in the beginning - and even though my daughter is still underweight, all three kids are healthy and both my son and daughter's cholesterol came down. That was scary to say the least.

Cassandra - posted on 06/23/2009

My son is extremely picly! with him he'll like something one day and then the next refuse to eat it! the only consistent thing I can get him to eat is bread! I have the this is what I am serving today you either eat it or go without and later when he asks for a snack cause he is soooo hungry he is only allowed to have a serving of fruit or veggie and nothing else special because he didn't eat his supper...so far it is not actually making him eat his dinner but there is not as much fuss as there was before when I tried to get him to eat by making ultimatums.

Susan - posted on 06/23/2009

Hi - see response below - I also recommend "How to get your Kid to Eat, but not Too Much" by Ellyn Satter. It is your job to give healthy choices and your child's job to eat. Take the emotion and guilt out of eating and you will both do better. Don't make special meals. Your child will not voluntarily starve himself. Tell him if he doesn't want to eat, he must sit at the table and behave. The family has one meal, and if he chooses not to eat, so be it. BUT, don't cave in and give him his favorites because you feel guilty. Be strong - this too shall pass. I have been there and we came through it.

Rachael - posted on 06/23/2009

My son is now 13, but when he was younger (beween 3-10) he had 4 food groups. They were hot dogs, chicken nuggets, pizza,and pancakes. I fought with him, I threatened him with losing privileges, and even refused to feed him except what the rest of the family was eating. Eventually, I gave up because he refused to change. About the age of 10, he began to try new things. His peditrician talked to him about the importance of healthy eating and he actually listened to her. Today he eats fruits, vegetables, and many different cuts of lean meat. He likes nuts and grain and will try anything once. I truly believe that as kids get older they will eventually try new things and it may not be worth the fighting and frustration. Just my opinion.

Denise - posted on 06/22/2009

Just have him take a now thank you bit. Then he can deside if he likes it or not. You cant make him eat what he doest like no matter what the Dr. says he is not there to deal with it you are. Giving him a new choices will help him to realize that maybe some food are not so bad. My kids are very pickey eaters. We make one meal if they dont like it than they get something else. I am not going to make them go hungry. But my husband say let them starve. I cant do that. Not everyone likes the same thing. If they have alot to choose from then they will pick some thing to eat. Maybe let him help deside what is for dinner and make one new thing and let him help you prepare it. I hope this helps.

Lisa - posted on 06/22/2009

The worst thing my kids did when they were younger was refuse to eat tuna. Their dad hated it so we never ate it until we separated, tuna mornay is my favourite you see LOL So at least once a fortnight I made tuna mornay, and every time we went through the kids complaining that they hated it - they were 2 and 5 at the time. I made different variations, once I used spinach fettacini and called it mermaid food... still no luck LOL At some point they stopped complaining, and I can't remember exactly how it happened ROFL... now they are 12 and 15 and both love tuna!

Vicky - posted on 06/22/2009

I have a 2 year old that won't eat veg or fruit but loves meat, pasta and yorkshire pudding and an 8 year old who won't eat meat and fish but will eat chicken and turkey and pasta so our meals are strange but fairly easy. Both of them get the things they won't eat on their plates to see if they will try them, but don't force them to as end up with tears and tantrums and nothing being eaten then.

Cristine - posted on 06/19/2009

My 4-yr old only has a few choice foods. I serve one meal that has at least one food she likes, hot dog, applesauce, favorite vegetable. The rule is she has to try one bite (it can be tiny) of each food on her plate and can have as much as she wants of the food she likes. She still fights the one bite rule but eventually she realizes she has to make her choices as to what to eat and at least tries everything.



A book that helped me is called "How to get your Kid to Eat, but not Too Much" by Ellyn Satter.

Rachael - posted on 06/19/2009

i can completely concer my 4 yr old daughter is a great eater she ll pretty much eat anything but my 8 yr old son is a nightmare but im a picky eater too. he ll only eat chips chicken fishfingers chocolate toast dry cereal mashed potatoes 1 kind of yogurt and 1 kind of crisps thats it no fruit no veg! but i no what its like im still a fussy eater but as they get older they ll try things that their friends r eatin rather than what their parents try to make them eat the doctor always says my son is perfectly healthy and if they say that bout ur son then i wouldnt worry too much he ll try things on his own bit by bit stick with it! x

Lindsey - posted on 06/19/2009

hello mums dont panic !! my son was exactly the same hot dogs cereal yoghurt and spagetti out of the tin full stop !! we went to school nurse dieticians he was under the local hospital we tried making own food rewards treats time outs you name it we did it !! nothing worked until a couple of years ago my son now 12 we gave him an ultimatum all week you will have meals that you enjoy except on a tuesday and thursday they both begin with the letter T and that now stands for try something new day at first it was just something small a table spoon of homemade soup or a carrot or a slice of cucumber! you have to remember that even a lick is counted as trying but you musst keep introducing the foods now three years on we still have try something new days but am glad to say that we have progressed my grandmother who is 93 asked what would i do if i had no money to purchase these foods for him she said he would have to eat something it would be a struggle but eventually he will eat make one meal and see what happens so tuesdays and thursdays is a meal with food he has never tried and we repeat the maels every couple of weeks callum now loves pasta but only with tomato sauce he loves fish and cheese veg is still a struggle as is meat but that is not a worry and still oonly yoghurts with no bits in !! so give it a go for a couple of weeks a little bit of something new and then move onto the meal persevere you will do it !! today is friday callums favourite night pizza he makes his own of course but just sauce and cheese !!

Bonita - posted on 06/18/2009

My son was a very picky eater. He did the gagging and throwing up. If he made himself throw up, he had to stand in time-out. We chose to do this because we felt it was really gross and he was making himself do it to remove the food he didn't like from his stomach. He needed to learn proper table manners. I refused to make any special meals for him. I did, however, make sure there was something on the table he liked. Since he liked most meats and vegetables it wasn't that difficult to put a least one item he liked on the table. He needed to try at least two bites of something new before eating what he liked. We did two bites because the first bite he always hated due to pre-conceived ideas. The second one he actually tasted. When he was done, we thanked him for trying the food but did not make him eat more. What drove me crazy was that he couldn't let any of his food touch another kind. He even went so far as to wipe off his fork, and sometimes his plate, between items. I just bit my tongue and am happy to say that at fifteen (it actually started when he was around 11 or 12 years old), he eats normally and tries different kinds of foods readily. He will take two bites without prompts before deciding he doesn't like it. Thank goodness he grew out of it. I always hoped he would. Hopefully your child will grow out of it too. If you become a short order and special order cook, you will probably stay that way. Take the advice of your doctor. Good luck!

User - posted on 06/18/2009

Only suggestion I did with my two picky eaters is let them pick a meal out for the family to eat that week. But they couldnt get their family meal pick if they do not try this new food. Also if they try it give them a small reward. Like ice cream, popicle, or something they like want. But mine are now 7 and 5 they try new things once in awhile. The other they get seems more eager to try things

Amy - posted on 06/18/2009

I have a daughter who gags and cries also. However, we have been matter of fact about it and we do not offer her special meals. She eats what we have or she doesn't eat. Once we took the "emotion" out of it on our part she did too. Now at 5 she will sit politely at anyone's house and simply say "no thank you" to everything that is offered unless she likes it. Really she only eats vanilla yoghurt, orange cheese, bread, peanut butter, honey, rice, chicken nuggets, hot dogs (no bun), fries (only at fast food places), rice cakes, cereal and milk. Not alot to make many meals out of. However, meal time is no longer a struggle. Every day she basically eats the same things: cereal and milk for breaky, pb&honey sandwich for lunch, rice cake or yoghurt for a snack and nothing for supper. But the doctors say she is healthy and I know it is not healthy for her to have chicken nuggets/hot dogs all the time so that helps in not giving into making her special meals.
After a year of this she has no tried a baby carrot. First she held it to her lips, then she licked, finally she nibbled it and now she has eaten a whole baby carrot. It took her about an hour to eat it, but I was happy she had done it. All on her own!
We tried have her help us make food, but she is scared to touch food she doesn't "like" or hasn't tried before.
Again the best thing for us was to stop fighting and take the emotion out of it. I hoep this helps. I can understand where you are coming from as mine doesn't eat any fruits and vegs except for a lone baby carrot every once in a while.

Jennifer - posted on 06/18/2009

I agree. My children have always been given "special meals" because I started out that way and it snow balled. We have tried several times unsuccessfully to get them to eat with us and it has been battle after battle. Although we never experienced the tears and gagging. I have found as they have gotten a little older that they try new things on their own. Still not eating what we are but they are eating well and there are no fights. We found that the fighting and getting upset wasn't good for any of us so we let it go...not the best option but it works for our family. I would also recommend having them help prepare the food in some way. Maybe even place it on the table as well. This can sometimes give them pride in what they did and make it a little easier to try things. Oh, I made that so I want to eat that! Good Luck!

Karen - posted on 06/18/2009

Offer him what you want him to eat first even just one spoonful. When he has eaten that he can have some of his favourite food... Increase amount of new food by a bit each night and don't make a big deal or fuss try and be simple and matter of fact "This is what's happening..." I would be consistent about it but not emotional ie if he doesnt want to try new things no other food. If he cries or gags keep being positive that he has tried and dont fuss over his tears or gags.

Alesisa - posted on 06/17/2009

Yes! I have two picky eaters. My chidlren have gotten better but they still do the gagging and throwing up when I make them try new foods. My only suggestion is to keep trying because as they get older it does get easier to get them to try new foods. I also offer rewards for trying new foods.

Stacey - posted on 06/12/2009

YES! I have even worse battles if it will make you feel any better. My son was a preemie and just started a couple of months ago to eat solid food. He turned 4 in March. Everything was pureed or baby food. I am in my own private battle and feel horrible too. I take Zack to food and speech therapy and it's been my lifeline. I don't really have a great answer for you but wanted to share in your pain!