At my wits end

Heather - posted on 09/24/2010

Hi Rachel, It sounds like you are doing everything you can do for now. One thing I learned from another parent that went through a lot with his children, is that it is okay to tell children that it's okay to be mad, it's okay for you to be mad at me if it helps you feel better, and I will still love you even when your mad. He's five years old saying the feelings out loud or helping him to verbalize his feelings will help him out a lot. I know it's rough, but know that children usually choose to take their emotions out on the adult they are most comfortable with and will stand by them.

Rachel - posted on 09/23/2010

i have documented everything and dated.
I work really hard that when he tells me he hates me that I say i love him even though he feels that way. He is mad and I don't blame him a lot of things have changed for him and he is having to deal with many different world: school, home, grandparent's home.

He is so important, I let him know that he means so much to me and that no matter what happens what he says or does I will always love him. him and I talk a lot.

thank you! and they are always listening.

Dannielle - posted on 09/23/2010

DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT...If he is in school have the school document incidents so that you can show that he was there the day before. take pictures get witnesses, etc. i am sorry for your situation...being a mother and step mother im lucky to have good parents on both ends....GOOD LUCK!!
also make sure that he knows thatno matter what he is loved. too many times people are concerned about what is going on (which is definitely important) and tend to forget to ask how he feels about the situation...kids are way more perceptive than we think,

Rachel - posted on 09/23/2010

We aren't really even fighting against mom she is just doing what her mother wants her to do. And because previously when the state took him from their home, because Grandma was part of the advocate team (or what ever it was called) Having him go to her home is considered supervised (mom lives with her mom)

right now we are fighting for OHP we 'don't qualify' for some reason and I can't seem to find a doctor that doesn't cost my souls worth. Every where we go, they say no insurance take him to the ER.

I suppose partly the problem is I feel like I am the only one fighting for him on this side .Dad does care very much for him but he is so busy its near impossible for him to give him the attention he needs. I am making a bunch of phone calls, one was to a child advocate through the school. hopefully this will help him.

I am just distressing because of how much I care about him, and how worried i am for him i didn't sleep at all last night, but still manage to get him to school on time.

Elaine - posted on 09/22/2010

I would also advise to keep a record of everything and maybe take him to the pediatrician to have him checked out. If he is eating all that uncooked food it can not be healthy for him. Can you call Social Services and have someone be around when he visits his mother? If ou do go to court again I would just have so much info from the child and doctors to back you up that it is not a safe, healthy environment for this child to be in and you should have sole custody of him. Poor kid, I am sure he is confused about whats going on and is not feeling loved when he is there. Good Luck!

Candy - posted on 09/22/2010

Keep a record of everything !! He will go through alot because it is new. The way they feed him at their house want matter much in court nor letting him stay up. I would make sure I had record of everything just in case it might help. Good luck and God's will be done.