At what age do moms think it is appropriate to talk about safe sex? I did at age 12, but earlier

Shavaune - posted on 01/26/2010

well, i think it's better to explain how things work in general first. Basic anatomy 101 LOL How a girls reproductive system works, how a boy's reproductive system works. Take it in steps, not all at once. Let them absorb it slowly. I agree with the respect issue! I taught my boys at a very young age that it is never okay to touch certain parts on a girl or hit a girl even if she hits you, (just walk away) I think parents of girls talk about it with them, but not enough boy parents!

After they understand what everything actually is, then comes the "how you actually get pregnant" part. Not gonna lie, it is uncomfortable but you can't show it. If you are uncomfortable about the topic of sex your child will be uncomfortable coming to you to ask questions about sex. Ask them what they have already heard because you would be surprised the kinds of thing they probably have already heard from their friends. It's better to clear up any misinformation and set them straight right away. I would rather have an open relationship with my kids then a closed off one, now when a kid tells them something they come and ask me right away because i tell them the truth. (Scary thing is it's like once every week or two and my son is almost 12)

Now i haven't gotten to this part yet but... I plan on taking to them about STD's (showing them pictures and stats) and how common they actually are. The biggest risk group for contracting STDs are actually young woman. And that "safe" sex does not protect you against many of them and that they are not treatable, that they will have them for life. Like HPV, herpes etc. Too many kids think if they use a condom that they'll be okay when it is not the case. I also plan to have the "No means No" talk. Even if they are making out and taking it to the next level that does not mean that a person does not have the right to say no and stop and any point in time. I want my son's to respect woman and i want my daughters to know that they have the right to say no at any time and that the boy should respect that.

I also plan on showing them a live birth video of what it's actually like to have a baby. I had a baby at 18 and i was basically clueless. I heard from a friend that you get pregnant a week before your period so i had sex at the height of my ovulation (duh) thinking i couldn't get pregnant at all. I had no idea what a stretch mark even was (boy did i ever find out!) Lucky for me everything worked out and me and my husband are still together and have 4 kids now but 90% of the time thats not the case for teen mothers.

I also tell them that what we talk about is between us and a private conversation, (not to be discussed with other children) other parents might not appreciate your child sharing your candor on the subject with their kids. Alot of parents have the attitude to just drill it into their kids heads to not have sex at all. But lets face it, kids are having sex and i want my kids to be as educated as possible about the subject. Now i don't promote sex to my kids, i tell them that they should wait for the right person.

Whew! that was kind of long LOL Hoped it helped a bit. Not saying this may be the right thing for every family but this is how i have handled the situation so far and plan to in the future. So far it's working for me.

Laura - posted on 01/26/2010

i am wondering about that too! LOL no answers just questions!

Kim - posted on 01/24/2010

I was wondering when I should talk to my son about it. It seems like they learn things earlier and earlier now, and I dont' want him hearing about it from friends or kids on the bus(like I had too), so I will check back on what other write and what they think.