at what age should you tell your kids about santa?

Brianna - posted on 12/01/2009 ( 234 moms have responded )

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my kids are 8 and 6. when is the right age to tell them there is no santa?

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Ariana - posted on 01/03/2013

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Never. Never have that conversation.

You know why you should never do this? Because they'll all figure it out on their own. And even when they're figuring it out sometimes kids like to allow themselves to believe santa is real even when they know he isn't.

I mean I was 10 and 'believed' in santa even though I knew it wasn't true. Telling them santa isn't real shatters everything, you're taking away their magical beliefs in christmas and everything. Letting them figure it out on their own gives them the opportunity to hold onto their childish ways a little longer until THEY'RE ready to give it up.

The best thing is that if they ever ask you 'is santa real?' or w/e just say Do you think he's real? and if they say yes then say well I guess he is then. If they say no then just say well if you don't think he's real try not to spoil it for your sister/brother other little kids etc, but don't even say 'you're right' or w/e just accept what he/she thinks. Don't shatter their little christmas spirits because you feel there's some right time they should know. We all figured it out on our own and so will they.

Cecilia - posted on 12/29/2012

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My kids always knew. They also always knew their friend's believed in santa and they shouldn't tell them. Some people tell me i'm wrong for it and i stole away the magic of Christmas..,, Really??? I didn't know that the meaning of Christmas was some man breaking into your house and leaving you things..

The reason why i did it was because i didn't want to confuse them with my own white lies while i tell them there is no good lies.

Minivette - posted on 08/13/2013

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I have 3 boys 9, 7 1/2, and 61/2. My oldest has been asking if Santa is real because some kids at school said he is not. I don't want to ruin the fun of Santa for my younger boys just yet. They have been having a very rough year since their dad moved out. But my oldest is bright and he probably knows the truth but I think that he is not ready to let go of his belief in Santa. So he asks me if I believe in Santa. I tell him that I believe in the spirit of Santa and the happiness he brings. He is the only one of my three boys that would understand that. He says that Santa and Christmas are a time for giving to others and not expecting anything in return except joy.
I did some research though and found the perfect poem that is titled "The Spirit of Santa Claus". It addresses this very issue that we all have to face eventually. But the way it is done it preserves the spirit of Santa while taking the stress off of mom and dad. I pasted the poem below but the link makes the poem's message really shine through and bring tears to my eyes. (http://www.wrensworld.com/spiritofsanta....).

The Spirit of Christmas

"Daddy", the child said, her eyes full of tears,
"Will you talk to me and quiet my fears?
Those bad boys at school are spreading a lie
And saying that reindeer can't possibly fly!"

"There's no Santa Claus, they say with a grin,
There's not one now and there never has been!
How can one man take all of those toys
To thousands and thousands of good girls and boys?"

"But I told them, Daddy, that they were not right,
And that I would come home and find out tonight.
Mama said wait until you come home,
So please tell me now that I was not wrong."

Her Daddy looked at her questioning face
And puffed his pipe while his frantic mind raced.
He had put this off as long as he could,
He had to think fast and it better be good!

Whispering a prayer, he began with a smile,
"Well climb on my lap, dear, let's talk a while.
"Remember at church how we learned to pray,
Asking God to take care of us every day?"

"And you know how we say Grace before each meal,
To this same God whom we know to be real?
Though we never see Him, we know He is there
Watching His children with such loving care."

"God started Christmas a long time ago
When He gave us His Son to love and to know.
A spirit of giving came with that birth,
And God's generosity filled the whole earth."

"Man had to name this spirit of giving
Just as he names all things that are living.
The name Santa Claus came to someone's mind,
As good a name as any to find."

"There is, you can see, and I think it's quite clear,
Truly a Santa who visits each year.
A spirit, like God, whom we never see,
He enters the hearts of your mother and me."

"Each year at Christmas for one special night,
We become him and make everything right.
But the real spirit of Christmas is in you and in me,
And I hope you are old enough now to see
That as we believe and continue to give,
Our friend Santa Claus will continue to live!"

Author Unknown

Shannon - posted on 01/07/2013

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I never really planned on when to tell my kids. I was always too scared they'd be upset. But guess what? As they get older they figured it out and weren't upset. Don't feel pressured to tell them if you think it'll hurt them. My mother never told me and now youngest is 11 and she knows. She just assumed it was something like how a halloween costume is for halloween and that it was fun christmas costume. And basically...it is. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Don't worry.

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234 Comments

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User - posted on 05/15/2014

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Hey I am nine santa is real you have some nerve to say that
:(
This is my aunts picture on here but I am speeking now so haha

Kawther - posted on 01/18/2014

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why would you make the story about santa in the first place??? to make your kids behave better???
well in our society the kids behave good and they don't even know about santa!
just give the damn presents with making it look big!!!!

Pendo - posted on 12/24/2013

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Honestly, take it from a kid! I was so annoyed when my mom told me that Santa isn't real, because a little part of me still wanted to believe. And not only did she ruin it for me but, my little 7 year old sister over- heard and got very upset as well. My mom eventually had to write a "Letter from Santa" to my younger sister explaining how it was only a joke and a "very naughty thing" for her to joke around things like that. Moreover, just let them find out. It will save you and your child a lot of stress and disappointment.

Anne - posted on 12/24/2013

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Anne - convincing your children that some magical man in the sky is listening to their prayers is exactly the same as letting them believe in Santa. Neither one is real but if you choose to believe and feel the magic then there's nothing wrong with it. Just don't judge others when your really no different (or worse).

Cecilia - posted on 12/23/2013

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Anne F. Any time anyone replies at all to the post you get a message saying someone replied to you. It is bad wording on the sites part and they were not talking to you in most cases, but just talking in general.

Why is religion even a topic here? Seriously? Everyone obviously does Santa different. Some like to use Santa to explain God to children. Others just like the idea of Santa and do him and god different. Others like me just avoid it all together.

How ever someone chooses to do Santa is up to them. It is a personal choice. Stop bickering and realize you're just different.


Also Anne, Your mother once had you believing in Santa, so this means she had you worshiping Satan? Since santa= satan?
Oh I went back and read, and your children also worship Satan since you said " Now having a kid of my own, thinking about what age is the right to explain the truth?"

Brittany - posted on 12/23/2013

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Agree to disagree with me - but trust me. There's always some kid whose mom tells them and in about the 3-4 grade they tell everyone he's not real. Now your kids must be 11-13 or whatever, and they probably know and want to believe even though they don't.

Sarah - posted on 12/23/2013

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Belief in Santa Clause is not damaging in my opinion as it isn't a lie that maps a child's whole life like stories of another bearded fellow who's powers may have been exaggerated. What I think is comical are the people that think it's ridiculous that Santa Clause could exist but follow a religious belief that is 100 times more absurd.

Erica - posted on 12/19/2013

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I've always told my kids the truth, I have three. Growing up my mother always let me know she brought all the wonderful gifts with her hard earned money and refused to give all the credit to some big fat dude. they're even reading this forum with me and thanked me for never lying to them. Even if I did lie and they didn't run away crushed they still would doubt my words in the future, I'd just rather be honest.

Jennifer - posted on 12/18/2013

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WOW..I don't know who this Anne person is, but you sure have issues. Santa is not harmful for children to believe in. I think it's a beautiful innocent Christmas childhood tradition. You have your whole adult life to face so many negative things, why not let these children have a few years of something so positive and joyus

Chet - posted on 12/16/2013

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My experience has been that kids believe as long as they want to and stop when they want to stop. I don't think parents should pressure their kids to believe, but I'm also opposed to crushing a child's fantasy world when that's where they are. We've let our kids believe in fairies so I figure they believe in flying reindeer if they want as well
.

John - posted on 12/16/2013

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That's why santa = satan is so funny. It makes no sense. So devil = lived and God = dog?

People who believe in the teachings of Jesus still appreciate Christmas for the birth of Jesus. For many others it's a time of Family/Love/Joy/Peace on earth. And if some families just see it as a time for presents, that's their prerogative.

The most important thing though, with respect to the original questions, is that if someone chooses to tell their kids the truth about Santa, please be sure they know NOT to tell other kids.

Veronica - posted on 12/16/2013

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I dont know how Santa is " the devil"
I feel the same way about letting my kids believe but this lady just started to beat me with her belief. Top it off she attacks a child on here.

John - posted on 12/16/2013

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As I understand it, Satan visits earth dressed up in red and white, breaks into people's home and leaves them presents. And Jesus let's it happen. However if you are Jewish, Muslin, etc you are spared. Am I close?

BTW in response to the original post from 4 yrs ago, I don't plan to tell my kids until I absolutely have to. And when I do they will know that Santa exists inside all of us. And the flying reindeer may be BS. I am curious what the original poster ended up telling her children.

Anne - posted on 12/15/2013

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No Veronica, you did not hit a nerve. Your behaviour is outrageous & sad. I just put my son down for bed & said a prayer. Also prayed for you. I am done now, I have work & to take my son to school tomorrow...also have a good husband to be with. This topic is about belief of Santa, stop your comments now. I still stand by truth of no Santa. Jesus is the reason for the season.

Veronica - posted on 12/15/2013

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Anne it takes evil to see evil!!
I must have hit a nerve!!
I hope God forgives you for your being so judgmental and self-righteous.

Anne - posted on 12/15/2013

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Verionca, your message are pretty ignorance & once again, I'm not judging...take a look at your no-good-evilness in the mirror & change it! Such a devil's works in you. Praying for your soul to turn to God.

Veronica - posted on 12/15/2013

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Anne it's been fun but I've had enough of your up tight bitter self-righteouness for one night. Try to have a good night

Veronica - posted on 12/15/2013

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Anne I wasn't a bully/ or hurt by anyone but thanks for you therapy thoughts. My life is complete and happy unlike yourself, how does it feel to bully on line, a grown woman who bullies a little kid and is self-righteous.
Take a look in the mirror before you go around judging people.

Anne - posted on 12/15/2013

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Veronica, this is not about being right. Grow up! It's must be sad to live your life as someone who doesn't understand or get it. You Must of been bullying/ hurt badly by someone in your life, just a sense from your behaviour.

Veronica - posted on 12/15/2013

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Wow you must be tired from being so right!



Ps
You're judging again, no matter how you put it you're being judgmental

Anne - posted on 12/15/2013

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You are obviously confused. You must be a young kid to say something like that lol! God wants us to give us hope to believe in Jesus, not Santa. Santa=satan

Veronica - posted on 12/15/2013

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Well Anne I asked God and he said it's OK to give a child hope and something to believe in...
Can't go against the word if God..

Anne - posted on 12/15/2013

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Veronica, First of all, I'm not a catholic. Christian is a different faith, we don't say 'hail Marys'. Second of all, I am not judging!! I am speaking the truth. It's sad that you don't know God not have a relationship with Him. I pray you will seek Him & know who he is. My childhood was not crushed, like I said, we had a very HAPPY childhood!! Our parents bought gift for us for Christmases. God spoke a lot!!! Please I encourage you to pick up a Christian bible for you to read, understand. God bless you!!! :D

Veronica - posted on 12/15/2013

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Anne, one why are you attacking a child and two if you want to go all Bible on here, Doesn't it say thou shall not judge? You sure are judging a lot.
Say five hail Mary's and Five our father's for forgiveness....
Have a good day =)

Veronica - posted on 12/15/2013

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Anne you're right I don't know God nor have i seen him and yet we believe he's real as adults. Plus I don't think God was talking that much back then.
Santa is a symbol for kids to believe in I'm sorry your childhood was crushed and you became bitter, that doesn't mean we have to do the same to our kids.

Anne - posted on 12/15/2013

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Kianna: Santa is not real, but Jesus is real. Jesus is the reason for Christmas. Hence the name--Christ-mas. There was a man a long time ago named, Saint Nickolas who's delivered gift for the poor (children). He did not lives in the North Pole nor had reindeer that fly. I suggest you pick up the bible for the truth. Don't follow the way of the 'world'. Praying you'll find truth & honestly, your Christmas is not ruin, your parents will still give you gifts. By the way, how can a parent allow a child on here?

Anne - posted on 12/15/2013

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Veronica, you obvious do not know Jesus?? I suggest you take the time to read & understand God's words. Tell your kids the truth not telling a lie. How can they believe & know God? They might think He is not real. Santa is not real, get over it. It did not ruin my childhood when my Mom told us the truth, we had a happy one!

Veronica - posted on 12/15/2013

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My daughter is 10 and she's starting to question about Santa. How he makes it around to all the homes, why is there fake Santa's all over and why we never see him or hear him.
At first I didn't know what to say and then I remembered what my dad told me. " Christmas is about family, believing and having hope in someone you can't see. Its the hope and belief of an innocent child that makes Christmas what it is"
Dont tell them! Let your childs imagination run with the thought of Santa.Let them enjoy being a child for as long as you can. That day will come when your child stops believing but it's up to us to go that extra mile to keep that little bit of belief in them.

Walter - posted on 12/09/2013

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Santa is real !!!!!! I am 39 !!!!!!! :-)

I could not agree more with

Ariana - posted on 01/03/2013
"Never. Never have that conversation"

Yes, I hear all the arguments about the truth, trust, reality and what not.... and I agree with many of them. But I truly believe that a child should have some magic, some imagination, that is what inspires many people to become great people when they grow up.

Don't tell them. they will figure it out on their own.

To be honest, I find it hard to believe that any kid in school doesn't already know it. Once you enter kinder, perhaps first grade (so ages 5-7) you already know. But kids hold on to these things because its part of being a child.

We should not rush kids to mature faster than they should. let them be kids.

Toni - posted on 12/03/2013

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My son is 5 and I have always been honest.
This year I had to explain that some people believe that Santa is real and that he is the one that brings the presents, but our family doesnt.
I have always been the same with things like the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy too.

Sarah - posted on 12/02/2013

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My kids are 4 and 5, and we don't do Santa. It doesn't ruin anything. In fact, it brings about a better understanding about what truth is. We celebrate, and adopt another family to bless as a family.

Chiquita - posted on 11/29/2013

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I told my daughter the truth because that's what I believe in. She still goes along with it but she respects me for my honesty.

Anne - posted on 11/29/2013

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@Rocky baby: whose post are you implying about?? Just because someone made a spelling/grammar error, does not mean they are a child. Well I am not a 12 years old nor a child!!

Anne - posted on 11/29/2013

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Phoebe, it says you have replied 2 my post..if you meant to reply to me, then that's not up to up...we raise our child how we'd like to...and that is simply to tell the real truth.

Rocky - posted on 11/28/2013

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Just wondering why a 12 year old is on a parenting website...and also kids are always on their electronics, so why haven't you heard of spell check?

Phoebe Louise - posted on 11/27/2013

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let them choose if they believe in santa or not. let them grow out of it themselves and figure it all out xx

Anne - posted on 11/24/2013

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It not about 'rush' to tell children the truth about no Santa nor any thing else that you need to tell the truth about anything else. Needed to address the truth.

A_m_b_hall - posted on 11/24/2013

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Why the rush? They will either figure it out on their own or some kid at school will tell them.

Anne - posted on 11/24/2013

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I was rolling laughing at all the comments on here. Okay, yes, kids do figures out that Santa is not real. When us kids were young, our Mom told us the truth about Christmas and Santa, but did that ruin our lives? No! The truth is about Jesus the reason of the season...and no, we didn't ruined it for the other kids, we'd played along just for fun. Now having a kid of my own, thinking about what age is the right to explain the truth? I never sat down and talk a lot about Santa, so I just explains the truth to my then, 7 years old son, the reason why we celebrate Christmas not so much about Santa, as I explained the story about the birth of Jesus and the reason of the season, etc. seriously, there is no harm when explaining to your children that there is no Santa which was a old story told many years ago. Now, did that ruin his spirit of Christmas (or mine when I was young)? NO! it all for fun & you can still have that spririt of Christmas no matter what. It's teaching our kids that its okay to tell a little white lies really... Some of you may or may not be a believer in Jesus, perhaps it is time to tell your children the truth, the real truth.

Jamie - posted on 09/07/2013

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Wow, the poem posted below is wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing. I was doing some research because my son presented his case for why Santa isn't real. I read him the poem and we both cried. He is upset but he understands. I was beginning to feel with all of his questions, if I didn't allow him to go ahead and discover the truth, he was just going to think I was lying to him. Thanks again so much for sharing.

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