Behavior Problems In Kindergarten

Jennifer - posted on 08/28/2010 ( 57 moms have responded )

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Hello my name is Jennifer and my 5 year old son started Kindergarten last week!! The first two days went great but this past week we've been have issues!! He doesn't want to listen to his teacher and saying NO to her. The school is really good school and his teacher is awesome, so I know it's not the school. Simple small things like not raising his hand to speak and not laying down and being quit when he's told to. Tyler been the only child for 5 years and he has his moments where he doesn't want to listen. I just don't want him no to like school and start off on a bad experiance. any suggestions would be appeciated!!

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Danielle - posted on 11/17/2012

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I am seriously on the verge of tears n feel like im failing as a mother. My son is 5yrs old and in kindergarden, since the school yr has started he has been in trouble about 5 times now. Hes even gotten suspended from school for 2 days. Suspended! Im afraid they are going to expel him, ive tried a few displinary actions and nothing seems to work, what should i do???? I need help. Hes such an awsome kid at home for the most part.... His teacher said hes starting to get shunned by the other children n that breaks my heart...pls anything that any of u think will help i wld greatly appreciate it.

Eve - posted on 03/05/2013

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My son is six years old and is the last of three children. We are now well into the school year and my son is still getting talked to at school for not staying on task, talking moving around too much and today it was for arguing with his teacher. I am at a loss. My eldest child is a girl and she was a stellar student and still is. My middle son has autism so enough said there. My youngest and last has been tested up the yahoo for autism, adhd etc especially since I have one on the spectrum already. I am thinking maybe this school just has way too high of expectations? Its kindergarten and he has no drive to go to school now. I feel like this is the age where kids begin to love school or hate it. Suggestions ideas indput help

Veronica - posted on 04/26/2012

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I am really glad to be reading this. I am having so many problems with my 6 year old. He has not had one good day this week, everyday its been a yellow or red. He just won't stop talking. We've taken away electronics, toys, no TV time (which is very little anyway, maybe 30 min a day) but he just is being very stubborn. He started off great this school year, then the teachers went on a 9 day strike after 3 days of school, and its pretty much gone down hill since then. He does have his good days. I think he goes to school with the intention of being a good boy and bringing home that pink or purple but just get distracted. He is very very smart. Math comes easy to him but does not like to read. Hubby and I are working on the reading thing with him. But I do also have to say that his teacher is quite scatterbrained. Her classroom is always a disaster. I understand trying to keep 15 little kids on task but she did tell us she brought in someone to help her clean up the classroom. My husband wants to pull him out of the class and put him in the other class but I just don't think that would be a good idea considering he only has 2 months of school left. I don't want to put him on ADHD meds either. I think he may grow out of it but in the meantime I am getting a new gray hair everyday. Any suggestions on the teacher thing is appreciated. Good luck Moms!

Maryann - posted on 02/02/2013

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my 6 yr old, Baylee is being supended many times in kindergarten many many times.
We have an IEP meeting next week. I'm shocked by her behavior, hitting teachers and students, tripping them, rolling on floor, crying and screaming etc....horrible experience for us and herself. She has always had a bit of a temper but has not shown these behaviors a home like at school. Recently she has acted out at home, but just recently. I feel sorry for her because she has conquences for her actions and is always in some type of trouble. The home life her is stressful because of her failure at school. Everyday we start over fresh, controlled and then after she get suspened it falls apart. I have an advocate coming this monday, and then the meeting (IEP) is the next day. A lot has happened this year and school and teachers are kind of nice but its hard to face and to me very sad that my precious child it having such a bad time of it.

Christina - posted on 07/26/2011

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I have a 6 year old daughter who was supposed to start kindergarten last school year. The summer before I had her tested for adhd and any other possible disorder that may affect her ability to learn. She started kindergarten and had a horrible time! She couldnt sit still, very disruptive during reading time and actually at one point, threw her pencil box at her teacher! I was aghast, she is not a mean girl, has a very loving heart. She was just so frustrated! After couple weeks of constant reports of her disruptive behavior, I finally got the results back from her psychlogist, and she was diagnosed adhd, and about a year and half behind intellectually, due to her inability to focus on any one task. I met with her teacher, the principal and a social worker for the school. We all agreed that my daughter would benefit by being taken out of kindergarten and putting her back in pre-k. I also started her on adderall, and she talks to a counselor once a week for behavioral modification. Needless to say, it was the best decision that I made for her, one of the hardest, but still the best. She is a totally different little girl, she actually wants to learn, can sit still and is much more at ease in a classroom setting. This whole situation has taught me that when it comes to raising children, especially ones that need just a little more attention per say, your pride should be the first to go. It is sad to hear of parents that just dont want to admit that there may be something not quite right going on in their child, and so refuse to seek help for not only the child, but for themselves. Ultimately it is our responsibility to raise our children to be productive adults, and if it takes a little leg work on our behalf, then so be it! Parenting is not an easy task, but a very rewarding one, if done correctly!

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Beata - posted on 04/10/2014

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Hello my name is Beata and I have been having problems with my 5 year old not wanting to go to school lately. He has been diagnosed with mild to moderate autism and I know he has sensitivity issues. This problem all started close to and got worse after March break. He can't eat in the mornings has stomach upsets and gets shaky and cries. Every night he asks where will he be going in the morning - I try not to tell him - but then he just keeps asking, every step and move I make he just gets more anxious and feels sick in his stomach. Today I took him to a playgroup in our area, not too many kids, so I thought that would still expose him to others. He was not too bad at first, played and kept an eye on me as well, but as a few more kids showed up and the place got more crowded and noisy he got overwhelmed by all the noise and people. He just wanted to go home and he kept near me and cried. I told him lets have a quiet snack time and we will see after. The whole snack time he kept saying "we'll have snack and then go home, we'll have snack and then go home..." I don't know if I should take him out of school for this year (he goes full day every other days) and do home schooling and then try again next year? Is that even allowed? (to withdraw him from JK and let him repeat in Sept.). Or maybe I could ask if he can be transferred to half days everyday...would that make a difference?? I would like some input from someone who's dealt with something like this or knowledgeable of this kind of thing, please!

Vivien - posted on 03/27/2014

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I see that this was posted in 2010 how is your doing now.I would love to know

Vivien - posted on 03/26/2014

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Great point. This can be difficult to determine also because of allergies, stuffy noses and fluid behind the ear drum. The child's hearing can be good sometimes and not others.

Vivien - posted on 03/25/2014

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So sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you. I am very glad that you have an advocate this person will be an excellent resource for you and should also be very supportive and help you feel better about your child,'s struggle to adapt to school. Your child sounds very frustrated and unable to communicate her needs.

Vivien - posted on 03/25/2014

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I also hate,hate HATE. The labels that are slapped on kids. Very few need meds. Medication does not teach the organizational strategies and other skills that are needed to make these youngsters successful in life. Most of them are extremely intelligent and will reach their full potential only if they are given tools to deal with their overactive minds and bodies. This takes a lot of hard work and dedication from all who deal with them. If you have a child who is highly active and disorganized get them into sports and art both teach/train kids to become internally organized . Also music of any kind is very good at keeping these kids focused sounds odd but it's true.

Vivien - posted on 03/25/2014

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It is possible that your child has some learning/social issues especially as you already have a child with an autism diagnosis.try introducing some of the organizational,social,communication,and learning strategies that are hopefully part of your older child's life. They can't hurt and may well be helpful .

Vivien - posted on 03/25/2014

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I am so sorry to hear this. Have you asked for a conference with the teacher and an administrator. Also take someone with you for support. Ask what strategies have been put in place to help your child. If none are forthcoming ask which ones the teacher will put in place. Also set up a responsibility chart at home.
These should be simple one step things that the child can do to earn point towards a treat. Use stickers on a paper on the fridge. 5 stickers equals a small treat of the child's choosing. These don't have to be big expensive things a cookie. Extra tub time. Extra play outside at the weekend. Get the child working for reward. Then infected things like one good day at school start small . No bad behavior all week at school is your goal.

Vivien - posted on 03/25/2014

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Getting enough sleep is also a good point. It is difficult to get kids to go to bed early enough,but it is really important for youngsters to get adequate rest and a good healthy diet.no Cokes water is a far better choice.

Vivien - posted on 03/23/2014

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I am a retired pre- k teacher. Sounds to me as though your children are all quite normal well adjusted children. They will understand what is expected behavior in the classroom as they mature. The word discipline means to teach and a good kindergarten teacher is modelling the appropriate behavior for the classroom along with teaching students to read,write, cut,paste, put their coats on the right way up. I understand how difficult it is for you to hear that your child is not perfect- well he is but now it's time for him to learn how the big wide world works.his teacher is there to instruct and believe me it is an awesome but very tough job. The teacher is just keeping you informed so that you can reinforce appropriate behaviors. Just as she needs you help your child with sight words etc. But please don't allow the negative comments cloud the awesomeness of your child's learning experience. Instead rejoice in his/her ability to learn.

Jennifer - posted on 02/26/2014

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My son is in kindergarten and has been having issues with blurting and talking so much he distracts other students from working.He also had issues with disturbing the class during times that the teacher was talking because he kept getting up to go to the bathroom. We discussed ways to change his behavior and led him to think of ways he could use to change. We started putting a note in his backpack to remember to go potty at the beginning of the school day (his first disruption was about 30-40 minutes into class). Now, I am noticing the way my behavior encourages his disruptive behavior. When reading a book I had been allowing him to interrupt, and his father allowed him to interrupt our grown-up conversations. Looking at our own behavior and modifying it is helping him modify his behavior and become more aware. He has to raise his hand when we are reading so that he does not interrupt me and when I get to an appropriate stopping point I remember to let him speak. When adults are talking he has directions to put his hand on the arm of the adult he wants to speak to and wait until they acknowledge him with praise for his patience and allow him to say his piece. We also make sure he gets enough sleep, about 10 hours a night, because active little boys need that break to grow properly. These strategies have helped, but the most important one is to stay calm, tell him how much you love him, and remind him that he has to work and practice his behaviors every day. I present everything in life to my son as something that we have to practice to get good at. Sylvia Rimm is a psychologist with a lot of good advice, you can find her website here: http://www.sylviarimm.com/index.html . Reading her articles and advice really help me manage myself and that helps me figure out how to help my son. Don't give up, and remember that some of it is just maturity. Hopefully by now things are going better!

Rachael - posted on 02/10/2014

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my son has this problem and several people have suggested he has adhd. I am getting him assessed, although the wait time for that is quite long, and in the meantime I found a local free program run by the city that deals with behavioural issues

John - posted on 02/10/2014

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I am a father of 3, 2 school aged kids, my wife is an MD and I have a PhD in behavioral neuroscience.
Our oldest son was struggling with staying on task a bit, not enough to be tested for ADD but close. Mid Kindergarten he was reading at about a B level. In February we had his tonsils removed due to repeated infections, however I was also aware that tonsils are the leading cause in sleep apnea in kids. Sleep disturbance, not enough or not good constant sleep, is bad for kids especially young children's behaviors. Growth hormone is released while you sleep, and every night you go through 5 stages of sleep- 1-5(REM) it goes 1,2,3,4,3,2,REM,2,3,4,3,2,REM but each susbsequent REM gets longer and longer. If they are awakened by sleep apnea then they lose vital REM sleep. One study found mild to moderate ADHD is explained by this.
After his tonsils came out he jumped 4 reading levels, and now he is in First grade, reading at an H level (2nd grade) and about to go into chapter books. If you look at the timeline ADHD exploded about the time that tonsils became seen as an unneeded surgery. Just be sure your kids dont snore, maybe put a humidifier in their room, and they have the chance for 9-10 hours of sleep.

The second thing that helped was for him we got a compilation of the old Dick and Jane reading books- wow he read all 400+ pages in just a few weeks.
With the rich story lines of today's cartoons etc I think a lot of kids get bored with the rote reading popular in many schools- kids need a storyline. I look forward to my oldest son getting into real books that he can enjoy. He wanted to be Genghis Khan for Halloween last year, he knows who Chautomoc and Hiawatha are..but he was stuck reading at a low level. My younger son did fine with the schools "sight words" system having memorized the whole years list by November. Different learning styles, different children but they all need sleep!

Eva - posted on 03/26/2013

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Try Sleep Talk for Children. It has helped my son control behavior and he has improved tremendously. Its a huge relief to both me and his dad (and the people around him). The therapist teaches the parents how to work with the child's subconscious mind.

My therapist is from Malaysia and we do our sessions over Skype. If you want, you can google her. Her name is Joyce Hue and her center is called Advance Dynamics Asia. I highly recommend her as she is flexible and very kind.

Crystal - posted on 11/23/2012

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I recently had this problem with my daughter she is in kindergarten when she refused to do her work in school was beating up the teachers and students she started being suspended. They tried different things in school with her. She is now diagnosed with having disruptive behavior disorder and was kicked out of regular schooling. She has been home for going on 3 weeks and the school has gotten her into a new school with smaller class sizes hoping she responds better in the new school. My daughter did not get diagnosed until going to mental health and now we are waiting to see about going on medication. The counseling may be something you could look into for your son. This is not something I would wish on any mother it is rough to deal with good luck.

Maegan - posted on 10/23/2012

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I am also having issues with my son this year for he first time. I had a note sent home this past weekend and talked to his teacher today. He has a hard time listening and has been talking back or covering his ears and saying that he doesn't care. I have two girls as well and they were never like this. He recently started hitting too and becoming more hyper or unattentative. It actually started a few months before school started right after he graduated Pre-K and started summer camp. Instead of being the youngest he's one of the oldest so I don't think its a social issue with him. I talked to his teacher and we are going to give him a little extra help and guidance for the next month until we have conferences. I am hoping this is just an adjustment change due to us moving right before school started and him being on a new schedule and making new friends. It is so frustrating and I am glad I can share this with others going through the same thing.

Shari - posted on 10/12/2012

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I am having this issue now! My son is the youngest in his class...listening is an issue as well as physical behavior. I am happy to hear people having the same issues. He is a great kid, 99% of the time. I am not so concerned about the listening, as I know that will work itself out with maturity, but I am really concerned about the phyiscal behavior. He was a biter in preschool, and has had one incident in kindergarten. He has also gotten into physical altercations with kids in his class. He is an implusive child, and I am hoping with maturity, it will works itself out. This blog gives me hope. I will continue to reinforce positive behavior and remind of the rules!

Patricia - posted on 09/11/2012

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I am having the same issue with my son. The good thing is he is learning everything he needs to learn, doing all of his work, but he insists on making noises either while he is working or when the teacher is instructing. Today he decided to hang out with 2 other boys at recess and they were screaming like they were scared or in danger and didn't care to listen why this was not good. Then my son laughed at both the teachers. I am at lost. I have tried all kinds of positive and negative behavior. I don't know what else to do besides take him to the doctor to be tested.

Tammy - posted on 03/23/2012

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I have the same issue with my son.. We meaning my husband, Myself and the teacher have tried everything that we can think of.... I am at my wits end.. We have even kept him out of school just to give the teacher a break from him.. I just don't know what else to do.. His teacher does the Green, Yellow and Red also for behavior.. nothing seems to work with him.. We have taken privileges away from him, toys away from him, sent him to his room, time outs I just don't know what else to do.. he is not a "special" needs kid by any means he is above the class with everything that he has been tested on Except his social skills, and he was in Pre-K.. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated... This is actually putting a strain on my marriage....

Lakisha - posted on 03/01/2012

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I am so glad to see so many people with the same issue that I am facing. At least I know that I am not alone. My son started private pre-k last year in september and after two weeks was let go from the program because they felt he was not benefiting from the program but I felt differently. My son is an only child and he had never been to daycare or school prior to this. I feel they let him go to early. He is very energetic and he loves to communicate with others. However, I do have some behavioral issues with him. He does not calm down easily, I have to ask him multiple times to stop doing something before he does it. He is easily distracted and does not like to participate if it is something that he does not want to do. Right now he is seeing an occupational therapist once a wk and the sessions are so frustrating. Some of the things I can honestly say that he is behind on and maybe that is partially my fault for not sending him to daycare or school early but other things I know that he knows, sometimes he will show her he knows those skills and sometimes he doesnt. I have to literally threaten to call his dad if he does not come with us to the session just to make him follow the directions. She has suggested him see a behaviorol specialist but I really dont want to have him labeled. I want the best for my son so what should I do?

Jen - posted on 11/30/2011

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Has he been in daycare at all? I sometimes feel kids arestarted to early but if he has been in daycare that's probably not the case

Rhonda - posted on 11/03/2011

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ok ladies here is another question that has been brothering me. My child's head start (both years) and K have given me behavior reports (three years total). I have had him tested with the results NOT being ADHD but my pediatrian tried him on Adderall to help with his lack of focus. Let me tell you that it has been sooooo much better. I wonder why testing didnt pick up on that?

Stacey - posted on 11/01/2011

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My son had these issues in Kindergarten last year. At the graduation ceremony last May, one boy said: "See Mom, that's Carter (my son). He's the bad boy."
We talked to our doctor and did some testing. He was diagnosed with ADHD. We're still working on it, but this is what we did.
1. Buy a trampoline. Kids with ADHD have more energy than a 'normal' child and need more exercise. A trampoline with a net around it is GREAT for this. And I've lost weight jumping on it, too.
2. Do as much research as you can. You are your child's advocate. My doctor said "eh, they say there are things with the kids diet, but we don't know too much about that." We took Carter off artificial colors (in food, shampoo, toothpaste, medicines, temporary tattoos, Halloween makeup, etc - it's everywhere!) and noticed a HUGE difference. We still have issues, but nothing like when he was on the artificial colors.
3. Took him to a neurobehaviroal therapist for testing. Carter spend the day with the doctor and had a blast. They played games and had fun together. Carter knew he was being tested, but he enjoyed it. Calls the testing doctor his "fun doctor."
3. Took the results from said test to Carter's school. Teacher, school psychologist, special ed teachers are all involved now in helping Carter to be his best. Allowances are made for his condition (he has to do 5 math problems rather than 8, he has extra time to do tests, etc) that wouldn't have been made had we not done the testing.
4. Tried medication. We didn't want to medicate him, but what's worse - Carter on medicine or Carter in trouble all the time? He said to his Daddy one day that he was the "worstest man in the universe." From a 6 year old!! That was the day we decided to try it. The first medicine had too many side effects, so now we're trying something new.
5. Realize that your child has a real problem. When we got the ADHD label, it became easier to deal with Carter. It's not HIS fault he's like this. He's not ignoring me when I call him 6 times to the table; he honestly doesn't hear me.

Sarah - posted on 10/28/2011

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Sit him down talk to him ask him why he is doing this. My daughter just started kinderden ,and my son has been out for three years, So just ask him questions. If the teacher does not already do ask her to give you behavior reports .and if he has a bad day then put him to bed 30 min. early and no t.v. or favorite toy! Be firm stay strong... hope this helped!

Cali - posted on 10/17/2011

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Also I do agree alittle with Dana. Xavier was very bored in K. He allready knew everything. Shapes, letters, numbers. He could read when he was 3 1/2! It will be okay.

Cali - posted on 10/17/2011

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My son had issues in K too. He was an only child for 5 years. He had 2 years of preschool. I think it just takes time for them to adjust. Your child will be fine!! Xavier is now in 1st grade - he has excellent behavior and is exceeding in everything!! Hang in there! It will be okay!

Dana - posted on 10/17/2011

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I have a kindergartner who just started this year. He went to preschool for 2 years. The last year of preschool was a strict kindergarten like
atmosphere and he had major problems! We tried everything behavior charts, stickers, rewards, neg. consequences. This year he started kindergarten and it is a big change from last year. The only problem
we seem to be having this year is he will not be quiet, he talks
constantly and is extremely smart so we have thought about boredom issues because he knows the material already. Could this be the
problem with your son?

I HATE HATE HATE the ADD/ADHD diagnosis. I know that there are
truly children out there who have this disorder but it has become
the new fad. Any child who doesn't seem to be doing well or
can't sit still at the ages of 4 and 5 is suddenly ADD/ADHD and
put on medication. Medication that changes affects the brain chemistry
will almost always work whether or not the diagnosis is correct.

I apologize if this is harsh and I do agree that there are children who
need it and are this way however, 1 in 5 kids are now diagnosed with
this disorder and at earlier and earlier ages. I have a brother who was
very rambunctious and very energetic and constantly would move. His body had to have time to mature. We were lucky that we had a good pediatrician who took the time to really watch, listen, and ask questions because the school PUSHED for meds and he WAS NOT ADD/ADHD
and by 2nd grade his body caught up with his age and he was naturally calmer and more focused. This happens with age for those who are
truly not ADD. I have been blessed with great doctors/therapists in my
life and they all agree that a child should not be diagnosed until at
least 8 years old for the ADHD because that is about the age that most
children will have developed the ability to sit still and really listen.
Behavior problems stem from something, while ADHD/ADD naturally lead
to disruptive behavior because the brain can't focus it should not be
confused with just plain bad behavior that may have a reasoning behind it
Your child may not even know what the reason is, this is why they have
parents so that we can help them figure it out. Not listening is only 1 symptom of ADD/ADHD. Maturity and lot more go into school problems and
are far more likely than ADD. Sorry almost any doctor will give this diagnosis. They do not spend everyday with your child, you do. So please
check into all possibilities before arriving at this diagnosis and give him time.

ADD/ADHD is lack of focused attention basically there attention has no purpose not to be confused with a child who is naturally curious and
will go from toy to toy or thing to thing because their brains are not stimulated. They learn the mechanics too quickly and are bored.

Rhonda - posted on 09/21/2011

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@Brandi Thanx for the comment.... but how do i determine that? someone told me to watch his milk consumption and i have cut back a LOT! and he has calmed down so should i start with a food journal or some sort to record reactions to food. Im willing to try anything.

Brandi - posted on 09/21/2011

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Before you any meds.. try to rule out food allergies. alot of the symptoms are the same..

Rhonda - posted on 09/20/2011

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Hi im new to the site but my son is in the kindergarden with the exact some problem. He is good one minute and the next is like day and night. Ive had the school test him where they found out that he does require speech therapy, but nothing for behaviors. The doctors wont give meds stating its all maturity so in due time he'll clam down....well its been 2 years doc! I recently went thru social security to have the state test him and they found nothing other than speech delays and learning delays. Dont get me wrong im gratiful for a promising diagnosis but im suffering because his behaviors are so impuslive that some family members dont want to be bothered with him. HELP! are they any other programs out there to help him with delay of processing information?

Angela - posted on 08/31/2011

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OMG Jennifer are you raising my kid??? LOL My son has had the exact same thing happening. The first two days good as gold! The last 5 yellow cards every day SIGH im at my wits end! I know ill probably get jumped for it but I told him if he comes home tomorrow in trouble again hes getting a spanking. We have had 5 LONG talks tv prilage taken away he was even grounded to his bed today. He knows what he is doing is wrong but continues to do it. I wont have him being the class troublemaker. Hang in there momma its gotta get better right??

Glenys - posted on 07/16/2011

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My son had problems at the pre-K stage with transitions and attention, I held him back before Kindergarten so he started school one year later than he could have. A lot of his symptoms looked like ADD and possibly "sensory integration disorder" but after years of advocating with teachers, volunteering in the classroom to nurture good realtionships with his teachers, and using behavior mod techniques to get the right behaviors going at school, I had him tested. He was diagnosed with Non verbal learning disability, which is a condition that can make it difficult to read social situations (understanding body language and facial expressions) and which also includes slow processing when several steps or decoding is needed to do things like math. I think of it like the two sides of the brain aren't talking to each other very well. What is difficult about this is that kids who have this can be very intelligent and as they go through school and gradually improve it is hard to know how much advocating and introducing your child as needing extra accomodation is really good for the child. My son developed anxiety related to his feelings of "not cutting it" and feeling different. So that became the real problem and still is, now at the age of 18. Over the years he has been helped by counseling, getting special education status at school that gives extra help, and choosing a vocational program (culinary arts) at the high school level. I'm posting here because I want to share that it takes a lot of love and attention to truly help some kids who do not easily fit into the structure that works for 80% of public school kids. If you have one of those 20% kids do please try and work with them and help them instead of making them feel unworthy. the non-specific spectrum disorders can be difficult to diagnose and many kids are assumed to have ADD or ADHD or that they are just exhibiting bad behavior. the truth sometimes is that they are getting overwhelmed and what teachers see as bad, inattentive, or non-conforming behavior is really the child exhibiting coping behaviors or symptoms of being overwhelmed by what is beign asked of them. No amount of punishment or behavior mod techniques can work with all of the problem. These kids need support, and it can be satisfying to provide it for them. Stay strong, moms...!

Christina - posted on 09/26/2010

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we tried that and a few other charts, discipline charts, reward charts... etc.. after a week or so he got bored with them.... but im all for going w/ what works for your child.. just gotta keep it up. :)

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OMG! Please don't tell him you'll be very disappointed! Try to remember that school is not the child's idea - it's the idea of society. School is fine but what I think is so powerful is to allow your child to be who he is. He is 5 so it stands to reason he doesn't want to raise his hand and sit still all day. He wants to play!!! He does need to know the rules of school but one thing that helped me when my son went to school was getting his buy in for school. You may have done this, but if not, try to start talking about why school is important from the fact that it gives him education and an oppotunity to meet new friends to it giving you perhaps time to go to work to do what you love as well. Sitting him down and shining a bright light on it is probably not the best approach becuase it just makes it bigger. Make it contest...one with only good consequences. Drugs and all that other stuff is not normally what's needed. We expect kids to conform too quickly to a place that they may not even want to be then get mad at them for not conforming. You can talk about all sorts of aspects of school with him. I am a homeschooling mom now but I did put my little guy in kindergarten before I could do homeschool so I do have some experience. In your mind just remember that having a kid that dots all the "i"'s in not always the best way...you want a happy kid that is productive I'm sure. Be easy about it and it will unfold. He will find his place in all of it. Sometimes transition is tough so give him a little while to conform. By the way mine was an only child too - and he is awesome! You may even be able to ask him why he's doing what he's doing. Kids are pretty darn smart and if you're patient you may actually find out where he's at with it all. Good luck!

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I have one son also who can be stubborn at times. When he was in kindergarten he had his days. Alot of it is learning the rules and if his teacher doesn't let him get away with it he will learn that the way he is acting is not going to get him anywhere. We have also done reward type programs with our son when he goes through spells like this. We did one this past summer due the attitude issues we were having at the end of second grade. I purchased a tall vase at walmart and then some colored stones that they sell in crafts. I then decided on goals for him to reach. He reached them by how he acted throughout the day. If he was not listening and giving me attitude then he lost a colored stone or two. If he had a really good day then we added either throughout the day or at the end of the day. you could do this by if he comes home with a sticker in his folder and good remarks from his teacher he gets to put stones in after school. If he has a bad day then he either looses stones or doesn't get any at all depending on how his day was. Hope this helps

Michelle - posted on 08/31/2010

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Alot could be maturity issue, my son started when he was 5, and had the same issues your son is having, his teacher even said it was maturity because alot of kids start at 5, but turn 6 within a month or 2 where my son started right at age 5. took him about 5 months to work through issues, but now he's in 10 grade!! My other kids started closer to age 6 and they did better. Give it time before you try meds please!!!If the teacher is good she'll work with your son and help him along...

Julie - posted on 08/31/2010

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Jennifer, I too have a kindergartener now as of two weeks ago. I have had one day of problems so far and my solution was taking away his favorite toy the day. If you have access to the internet look up B.F. Skinner and his Operant Conditioning theory. Taking away his favorite item I am showinga negative punishment which I hope will encourage him to show positive behavior instead of bad behavior. Also school is a new thing so a consistent reminder of you cant do that you will end up in the principals and that is not a good thing also seems to be working. my oldest one I had to take to a therapist when he was kindergarten he had developed his own pack and did not want to listen to the teacher so his pack did not want to listen either. Both my children have strong personalities so tougher punishments are sometimes necessary.

Dixie - posted on 08/30/2010

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My 5 Year old son started school A few weeks ago. He has had sad faces every day that he has been in school, He will not try to write his name or do his class work, one day he took his sis. and cut his back pack & his cloths, she sent it home in a bag for me to see what he had done. It is like he is mad at me for sending him off, he has never acted like this before. my oldest son done the same thing when he was 5, it never got better. the teacher told me that it might be a good thing if I start him at age 6 yrs..so I took him out of school. It was the best thing that I done that b/c the next yr. he done so good,sometimes it takes a child longer, w/ my 5 year old now. I think that I am going to give it a month or 2 to see if he gets better, If it don't go well, then I'm taking him out as well, until he's 6 yr.old B/c this is a big thing for a child to be away from mommy,and if all he is thinking of is you then hes not going to be thinking of his work and what he needs to be doing, but give it more then a week or two, to see if he can do it. I would say a few months,If things get more bad, then they are ,then you will know.

Andrea - posted on 08/30/2010

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I agree with Julie R......I also had the same problem with my daughter in kindergarten but she was much worse...she too was tested and placed on ADHD meds I wasn't really approving at first but she is now in 3rd grade and thriving she now is an A student

Ilene - posted on 08/30/2010

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Just a note, please have your child's hearing tested. I know it sounds like alot but this sounds exactly like my son's start to kindergarten last year. After a

teacher change and a few difficult months, the new teacher mentioned he didn't seem to be hearing her and when we took him to the doctor, he needed ear tubes because his ears were full of water. We were noticing it as well.



All of his bad behavior caused him not to have much fun the first year of school and he got very distant especially knowing that the first teacher gave up on him. She did not identify the hearing loss and thought he was just being defiant.

Brandi - posted on 08/30/2010

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Thats just it.. he is new to school. He will learn to raise his hand and to sit still with time. The teacher and you will have to explain to him what he is at school for and that the teacher is someone he is to listen to. He is not to young to say " School is the place where we go and learn, the teacher is the person who will teach you, You and the other kids are there to learn and when you interrupt the teacher, you take away from the learning time of the other students/ children." I have done that with all my kids and it does help. You can also use it at home with please do not interrupt when I am speaking with someone else. Its all about installing it into their brains. The funny thing is people always think their kids are to young to learn something. I started the whole manner teaching when they were but babies and I am always complimented on how polite they are.. funny they only seem to use their manners for others..lol Trust me he will get better in school.. he did just start.. and he needs to learn school room behavior.. good luck

Erin - posted on 08/30/2010

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When did he turn 5? It could be a maturity issue. I know when I started my son in kindergarten he had just turned five and a lot of his issues was with maturity, I ended up holding him back in first grade which is the best thing that I could have ever done.

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Well seeing as though he's only been in Kindergarten for a week, I'd give it some time. Have some chats at home with him about appropriate behaviour at school, ask him about school after school (what he likes and stuff) and if his behaviour doesn't get better after a while, have some parent-teacher meetings about it. The teacher should be rectifying the behaviour right away through time-outs, making the classroom rules clear, etc. Hope it works out for Tyler :)

Kelli - posted on 08/29/2010

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i had a daughter who recently finished kindergarten last year she would not listen to her teacher and disrubed the class all the time we sat down with the teacher and talked and we came up with the solution of having a chart to put stickers on when she was doing what she was asked when chart got full she got to pick a place to go for a reward and that worked for us now she is going into first grade

Christina - posted on 08/29/2010

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Hi Jennifer.. i had the exact problem w/ my then 5 yr old kindergarten... i first went and talked to the counselor to see what they suggested and had a meeting w/ the teachers to see if there was anything i could do to make their lifes easier.. i started having my son talk to an outside counselor that the school counselor suggested. he got a tutor to help him do his work during school... and he also got in a program called Communities in Schools... they help alot!!! w/ school supplies, clothes, xmas .. etc... after trying everything i could for 8 months he was failing kinder, and i broke down and went to a neurologist to see if there was something the doc could do.. Zach was tested for several things... ADHD was the answer the doc gave me... i didnt want to try meds really i didnt... he made it so clear to me : if your son had diabetes you wouldn't want to deny him his insulin would you?? no i wouldnt.... so i tried it out for a test run.... and by golly he went from failing to passing in just a few weeks. . . he never acted that way before in prek or in daycare.... but kinder he was totally different.. not even the same person.... i know i just rambled on alot but i hope that helped you in any way.. if you would like to chat sometime send me an invite... good luck -Christina

Bonnie - posted on 08/29/2010

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Make sure the teacher has an organized schedule in class, transitions are everything with this age group! Also, volunteer in his class to help enforce desired behaviors in class. Try to create experiences in the home to practice his listening skills, thats what I'm doing with my five year old daughter, seems to be working! Have a certain area in the home devoted to learning activities, so he knows u mean business and will hopefully start developing better listening skills. Good Luck!

[deleted account]

Positive reinforcement!

Meet with the teacher after school and talk to your son about the problems he has and ask her about her concerns. You let your son know that the teacher is the boss when he's at school and that if he doesnt follow the rules you're both going to be very disappointed... also let him know that if he DOES good and if he is respectful and follows the rules that on Friday you will do something super special (play a board game, go out for ice cream, etc).

If this doesnt work, then you may have to take something away from him and only give it back when he's doing better. For example: tv, video games, or his favorite toy... if he's acting up in school he shouldnt have these privileges, let him earn them... and send him outside to get rid of some of the energy he has instead :)

Good luck.

Stephanie - posted on 08/28/2010

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it's only been a week. starting school is a big change, especially for an only child. I'd give him more time to adjust, while also reminding him of the rules. and maybe practicing the rules at home. weird but my girls raise their hands before speaking at the dinner table. (it was their idea) and we have periods of quiet time at home, usually about 5 min. long. (I have three, soon to be 4 daughters, they always have something to say.) anywho's, it's good practice for school and gives my ears a quick break.

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