Bio-Mom teaching her children lying is OK

Toni - posted on 04/14/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My step-daughter lives with my husband & I three days a week and four days with her bio mom. Unfortunately, her bio mom is a compulsive, pathological liar; I do not say this for any other reason than it is the absolute truth; she lies about the silliest things and the worst things such as when my SD is sick we want to know what medicine mom has given her and she lies about what she gave her or didn't give her. How do we know, for one my SD tells us her mom only ever gives her cough drops for all her ailments and two she told my husband when he asked once, that she gave her children's sudafed syrup. My husband & I both are pharmacists therefore we know what's on the market and what's not. Liquid sudafed was taken off the market a few years ago. Instead of confronting mom on her lies we both just let it go as her stories become more hilarious as she weaves more lies together. We know we cannot change her but nor do we care to talk to her about much of anything however, what we do care about is how my SD will turn out regarding lying herself. My SD has been aware of her mom's lies since she was three & she is now almost 11. SD has already spun up a few silly lies herself and we have confronted her on them but she continued to stick with her lie. We have, at a very young age, tried to explain that lying is bad and that it always catches up with the person lying. We've used examples of her own tales of her mom that she has shared with us, stories of her brother and the lies he tells, with books, children's stories and other examples of kids from her school that have gotten in trouble from lying. At this point we thought we may have gotten through to her but she yet again, lied to me just a few days ago regarding something that was so silly. So, my question is this: How do I try and fix this lying problem before she gets older and becomes her mom? I say I because out of the three days she is with us, she and I spend most of the time together. My husband doesn't say much, he just sort of expects me to handle it myself. I've been in my SD's life since she was 2 & 1/2.

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Sol4J - posted on 04/24/2012

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In my time with Focus on the Family, I have the opportunity to become familiar with many resources they have available to help blended families who are facing challenges like yours.



There are some articles on their website like this Q&A: My child is always lying. How do I stop this behavior? http://bit.ly/I7PJeP and here http://bit.ly/I977R7 How can I instill my own spiritual and moral values into their lives and increase the chances that they will carry those values with them into adulthood? and this last one http://bit.ly/HHdZRy that explains how stepparenting is a two-person task. Hope you'll check them out. Blessings.

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