birds and bees convo????

Sarah - posted on 07/12/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I just discovered that my 8 year old Daughter and her friend were looking at some very sexual videos on the internet. The internet usage is usually very monitored. They actually went down stairs and got on the computer during the middle of the night during a sleep over when I thought they went to sleep and then went to sleep myself. I need to have a talk with her but am not really sure how to approach the conversation or how detailed to get. She is way to young for this??!! Any suggestion?

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Lika - posted on 07/12/2010

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i had a similar situation with one of my children i just explained that he was far too young to be able to fully understand emotionally what he was viewing and that it is natural for all children to become curious but he is not at the age where he should take matters into his own hands and seek out that kind of information i also asked if they discussed any type of sex ed in school to furthur broach on any info he may have already had but for the most part allow them to feel comfortable enough to convey to you how it is they interpreted the media so you can correct any misconceptions they may have and ask lots of questions or not depending on how you feel the comfort level is during the time and assure them that they can disuss it with you at a later date should they have any more questions

Felicia - posted on 07/24/2010

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She is not too young to know about sex. Believe me she might know more than you think. Ask her what she knows about sex and take it from there. Every year on my kids birthday I tell them about the birds and the bees. When they start to understand what the birds and bees are then I used the term sex. I started when they where 8. Now, they're 13! I would also talk about it when we watch tv(if it's something innocent), situations at school, and etc. If she brings it to you answer it honestly.

Angie - posted on 07/23/2010

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Oh boy, I can see that you have some explaining to do, not only to your daughter but to the parents of the other children. Watch the videos yourself so you know what she's been exposed to. Ask her what she understood about the videos then answer whatever questions she might have. It is also necessary for you to let the other parents know what videos their daughters watched so they can do the same. I never thought about this before and this is a wake-up call for me to password protect my computer.

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Ginny - posted on 07/23/2010

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There are some great books out there on how to talk to your child about sex. I had to have a very watered-down talk with my 5-year-old about it last year when I was pregnant with his little sister. I think I also found some good suggestions on the internet. I would consider putting a password on your computer that only you and your husband can know, and that you have to enter in order to even log on.

Kristen - posted on 07/23/2010

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Well, I hate to tell you, but you're going to have to get pretty detailed. I'd go ahead and give her the whole talk. Be open and allow her to ask any questions. Don't worry too much about the "script" you'll use, just share with her your family's values regarding sex, your personal feelings, and teach her how to recognize when what she's seeing is inappropriate. You will also need to contact the other parents and let them know what happened. They defintely need to know and will probably be angry if they find out from their children later. To prevent it from happening again, you may want to get a content filter for your internet browser. Go to www1.k9webprotection.com to get a really good, free content filter. You can choose the settings. Continue to monitor your daughter's actions from a distance as well, since her curiosity has now been activated. Good luck!

Carla - posted on 07/23/2010

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She's already let the horse out of barn, so to speak--Angie Kissner's answer is correct. I know we find that shocking, but the bottom line is children cannot be trusted! That's why they have parents! Get the password on immediately! If she has a phone, get the internet off that! I trusted my children, only to find out they were getting up in the middle of the night to watch HBO. Took it out the very next morning I caught them. My mom trusted us kids, and all of us but one had to get married (me twice!)

It's a different world out there, honey, get ready!

Carrie - posted on 07/23/2010

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My husband does not like that I let our 9 yr old son on the internet but I have yet to see him go looking for anything like this on his own. I did catch him looking on u-tube with a friend who has no boundries at his house, maybe you should have the discussion of no computer when friends are over and if she sneaks there is consequences.

Tracey - posted on 07/23/2010

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there is a book by Peter Mayle named "where did i come from?" that is a childrens book..that may help to at least open the door

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