Bullies are picking on my son!

Brooke - posted on 03/16/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Help! It seems every week my son is coming home with a story about being hit or kicked. I have spoken to his teacher about it, but it does not seem to be getting better. He got punched in the nose today, and the only thing that happened to the kid was he got his name in the 'yard book' which means he is not in the prize raffle at the end of the week. I would think there should at least be a detention or something! Am I wrong? It's not always the same kid, and I am getting to the point where I am ready to tell him to just beat the crap out of them, but I don't want him to be the one to get in trouble. He is 7, and so far he likes school, and I don't want that to change. Bullying seems to be a big problem in the area where I live, it is often in the newspaper, I would love to move but can't at the moment due to other factors. Can anyone help?

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Michelle - posted on 03/22/2010

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We had the same problem with my son when he was in gr.1 I first encouraged my son to tell a the supervisor and he replied with I did they told him to just walk away so I went to the school and talked to his teacher and then the principal and still nothing was done about this problem so I finally told my son if this kid bugged him again to just let him have it I told my to expect to get in trouble because it is wrong to hit but sometimes when no one is going to help you, you have to stand up for yourself......He did end up hitting the bully and I did get a phone call from the school to which I went to the principal and informed him that if he had done his job and dealt with the bully in the first place my son would not have had to deal with it himself.....they changed their mind about trying to suspend him and none of the kids picked on him for the rest of the year. We did however pull him out of that school for Gr.2 and he is much more confident at his new school and definitely happier so even though I do not advocate violence sometimes kids need to stick up for themselves

Gianinna - posted on 03/19/2010

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My son was having the same problem over a year and a half ago. I spoke to the teacher and they seperated them form each other from the table. For some reason the other kid still would bother my son and my son and the teachers would give me the complaints. I got fed up with it and I tod my son that if someone hits you or pushes you for him to push and hit them back even harder. I taught him the difference between defending himself and starting a fight. One day the kid was boterhing my osn and pushed him. My son turned around yellwed at the kid and told him to leave him alone pushed the other kid down by grabbing his bookbag and since then the kid has left my son alone.
I know you dont want your kid to get in trouble but unfortunatly we cant be at school with them to defend them every single time. Just explain to your child the difference between defending yourself and starting a fight. Till now the kid has left my son alone and doesnt bother him.

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12 Comments

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Kelly - posted 6 hours ago

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tell yoour son to hit back my son had the same problem they wont stop unless you stand up to them

Patricia - posted on 01/01/2013

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I get very angry when it comes to bullying and will not tolerate it. I was bullied something fierce in Highschool and my parents tried and tried and their hands were tied. My Mom basically would have to come and pick me up from school early. A lot of times I missed school alltogether because it got so bad.

It is very sad. After that I learned martial arts so I thought atleast I could somewhat protect myself.

I suggest talking to the Principal and let them know if something is not done you will go to their Superintendent and keep speaking until you get someone to listen.

Keep fighting for your child.

Fay - posted on 09/16/2012

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After each bullying situation you need to put it in writing and make a formal compliant. ask for a meeting with the head. Ask for some punishment to fit the crime. Ask how they will sort this situation out. ask for updates. do not hesitate being a awkward parent.

School often seem to only take the situation as seriously as you demand they do.

My son is getting bullied in a minor way and I have a zero tollerence policy on it. so far I seem to be getting somewhere.

Steffanie - posted on 03/20/2010

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You need to go immediately to the school principal and complain! It is horrible if your child is being physically assaulted on a regular basis. Teach your child to retaliate when he is hit. Especially if the school isn't taking this seriously. The school is responsible, and can be held liable if they are not doing anything to stop this behavior. If this doesn't work than go to the school board and complain. I don't believe in allowing a child to be bullied, and not allowing your child to defend himself. The child should have gotten suspended, and if this is happening on a daily basis the child's parents should have been called. With all the school shooting most schools have a non tolerant policy starting in the earliest grades. Find out what the policies are concerning your school district, and make sure they are enforcing them.

Claire - posted on 03/20/2010

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i know this is a completely different situation but our eldest son was being bullied by another pupil coming home with scratches on his face. He goes to a special needs school as he suffers with slight cerebral palsy so anyway it happened a couple of times and i went into the school and spoke to his teacher about what was happening and we came up with a plan to seperate our son from this other child during playtime sam and a friend went into the nursery playground and the other boy stayed in the upper playground and also at the end of the day the other boy was sent to get his coat and bag and then sam would be sent in to get his coat and bag but luckily the situation has resolved itself now and he still loves going to school hope this helps

Sharon - posted on 03/20/2010

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I agree with Gianinna below. You don't want your kids in trouble - however, you don't want him picked on the entire 12 years of school. My 20 year old was picked on in grade school to the point that we taught him to defend himself. Never hit unless you've been hit. Yes, the school will give him detention or something, but the bully will see someone who will not back down and leave him alone.

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Call the parents. I am lucky enough to have one son who is picked on and one who can bully. It's not bad parenting....so with that in mind, get the tele of the parents and let them know that your son is being bullied. NO PARENTS want their child to be that kid. I've had wonderful luck talking honestly and openly with other parents.

Good luck.

Shelley - posted on 03/19/2010

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if the teacher is not helping & handling it to your sadisfaction you have to go over her head to the principle & then to your school board. A punch in the nose should be grounds for suspension (probably an in school one as many schools seem to do short ones this way now) keep very detailed notes of dates times where what was said & even witnesses. The teacher is probably not getting the full story because the bullys are most likely very sneaky. Also find out if your school has a police liasion & go to him or her for advice.

Debbie - posted on 03/16/2010

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I'm not going to be much help to be honest since I have never had to deal with bullying for the kids or myself. My daughter is 8 though and she was pushed once by a kid who was having a temper tantrum and she just happened to be in front of him at the time. This happened when she was around 6 though and I know that the kid got in a lot of trouble at school (taken to the principal's office, parents called in and all) and she was just pushed. It wasn't anything personal about her either - just wrong place/wrong time. I would think that if this is something that's happening on a frequent basis, the school should be spoken to. I would go in to the school and ask them why they don't take more of a stand against your son being assaulted at school. While your child is there, he is there responsiblity and they aren't being very responsible with his well-being (both physically and emotionally).



Although I do know that my husband would have agreed with you and said that he should hit back. That's what he told our daughter when he found out that she was pushed. He asked her if she pushed him back. She did not since she didn't want to get in trouble.



If I were in your situation, I think I would have a sit down with the school - principal, teacher, and even guidance counselor (all at once) and discuss your concerns. If they do not take action you could even bring it up to the PTA or something so other parents are made aware of how the school handles bullies (more parents getting involved looks bad for the school) and then if that doesn't work, I would probably find a way for my child to defend themselves. I have told my child to not just stand there while someone or something hurts her. (A dog bit her once and she didn't kick it away since she was taught not to hurt other things ... but I did tell her that she should have kicked that dog away from her so it wouldn't hurt her.) The same thing goes for children. If a child is being hurt they should know that it's alright to do something (if possible) to get out of the situation where they are being hurt.



I'm not sure if this helps. I seem to ramble at times.

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