Can a school ask for a parent to withdraw their kindergarten for behavioral issue?

Angie - posted on 09/06/2012 ( 33 moms have responded )

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Again, my 5 yr. old son wanted to go to sleep, my father-in-law, went to the school to see how our son was acting. Yes, the same time he wanted to go to sleep, it took him about 5 minutes to get back in track but they told him, if he doesn't shape up SOON, he will not be allow to come back, I just don't understand, I know I need to teach my son to stay up but he gets over 9 hours of sleep a night, how much sleep does he need? I don't really want to take him out but I'm so confused I don't know what to do, my father-in-law said he is not the only one to fall asleep but when they ask the others to get up they all get up, but when it comes to my son, he doesn't want to and starts to act up, if anyone out there has a answer to my questions please help.



Thank you,

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Michelle - posted on 09/06/2012

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Aim for 12 hours of sleep a night yes this means earlier to bed but it probably will help his wanting to sleep during the day. My daughter is 3 1/2 and gets a minimum of 12 hours a night. I truly think more sleep at night is the answer to your problem.

Jennifer - posted on 09/06/2012

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we had the same problem with our son.he was getting about 12 hours asleep and we reduced it to 8hrs and we didn't have that much of the problem. now when we stopped allowing him to eat the schools food the problem went away 100%.

S. - posted on 09/06/2012

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If the school ask you to withdraw him well I guess there's nothing you can do, I think the teachers should be a bit more understanding thou, schools new to him, the work is new and taxing, and he's human he just needs time and to be given a chance to get used to it. My 4 year old needs around 11-12 hours sleep and on a school day by 4:30 she's shattered, maybe start sending him to bed earlier! See if that helps.

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Natasha - posted on 08/21/2013

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I agree with Sara , go see a pediatrician there may be a medical reson why your son is sleeping in class . My son always seemed to look like he was very sleepy in class and his marks suffered . I checked and turns out he is fare sighted, dyslexic and add. He still struggles but at least now we know why we can work on what to do next.

Sara - posted on 08/18/2013

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The legal answer I have found during my teacher training is yes, but only after several interventions, a behvaior plan, as well as discussion with you as the parent about the behavior. They cannot nor should not threaten your child that if he doesn't shape up that he will not be able to come back. I would check out the school and ask more questions. I agree that children need a lot of sleep but if your child is having trouble sleeping or is sleepy a lot you may want to talk with your pediatrician as well. I hope all goes well for you and your son! Good Luck!

Safia - posted on 04/10/2013

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kids need a least 14-12 hours of sleep.
Maybe you should put him to bed by 7pm and by the next morning if he up 7 am then he had 12 hours off sleep.
what kind of school is this?? Your son is in kindergarten not high school. The school needs to take it easy.

Natalie - posted on 10/17/2012

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5 years old need at least 12 hr of sleep at night!



Sleep is as important for brain development as food for the body. I have one child, 9yr old that is insomniac, and I stay with her in her bed until she falls asleep while my 5 yr old fall to sleep very easy. If they don't get 11 to 12 hr of sleep at night, I can see how hyper they get, they don't want to do homeworks and hell breaks loose. Now they connect ADHD with sleep deprivation when kids are young.

Sherri - posted on 10/03/2012

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@Sophia 9hrs is NOT a lot of sleep for a 5yr old.



The recommendation is a follows:



3-6 Years Old: 10 - 12 hours per day



Your 5-year-old now



While it may seem like your 5-year-old never stops, stop he eventually must — and ideally for at least ten to 12 hours. That's the amount of shuteye the average 5-year-old needs.



It's true that some people, including some children, seem to require less sleep than others. But it's generally wise to err on the side of ensuring plenty of zz's. If a 5-year-old doesn't sleep long enough, he may be cranky or have trouble staying focused during the daytime.

Lita - posted on 09/28/2012

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I agree, at that age, he'd need 12 hrs of sleep.

My now 10 years old son still goes to bed at 7:30 pm and his teacher said, that's quite early. Even that, he has trouble getting up, so he definitely needs sleep. My daughter is the same.



Unless yours is behaviorally destructive because of the lack of sleep, the school couldn't ask the parents to withdraw. But then again, if your son falls asleep during class time, he definitely needs more eye shut time. Consider it not benefiting your son to be at the school if he sleeps during class anyway. Maybe he is just not ready to give up his nap?

Mildred - posted on 09/25/2012

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Wow! It does seem that there should be a bit of understanding for a 5-year old! I'd go talk to the teacher and see if she can modify his schedule a bit.

If I'm understanding you correctly, it sounds like all the kids have a rest time. So rather than insisting that they all "rise and shine" at the same time, she could simply turn up the lights, start working with the other kids to roll up their mats, put on shoes, whatever the routine is. By the time they are ready to 'work' I'm guessing your son would be up and ready to go as well. Maybe he needs a drink to help him wake up. My husband has taught for years and is currently a school administrator. He practices and tells his teachers that the teachers job is to "teach for success" - in other words, modify your rules/routine/schedule so that there is a greater chance that every child can succeed. Not that kids never have to do something they don't want to, but your son obviously needs a longer break, so why not work around that? The time and stress she'll save by not having to deal with his behaviours would make up for any extra time she uses in getting that last kid up 5 minutes later!

And of course, you working to get him to bed earlier will help too!



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Tara - posted on 09/24/2012

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My 4 year old just started school and he has the same issue.. he is beyond exhausted when we pick him up... Starts off the day as a star and dims slowly by 1.. Children do need alot of sleep but with that being said it is often easy for a child to wake up in the middle of the night and not want to go back to sleep!!! I suggest no naps no matter how tired after school keep him up until 7 after that its a nice bath and hopefully a Great Night Sleep... P.S I have to fight to keep my child up after school .. I take him outside play soccer, go shopping, anything to keep him up!!

Rita - posted on 09/18/2012

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Its unfortunate but "yes" the School can ask that you take your child out, however for having a nap and not wanting to wake is such a menial excuse. I'm not sure that I would want your son to have a teacher such as this. As a retired School Bus driver I cant' tell you how many children either fell asleep going to or coming from. It is such a long day for a child and hes' only been in school for what 3wks. give or take. She isn't even giving him time to adjust. Myself, I would actually ask for an appt' to see the Principle and let he/she know how you feel. Letting them know that they should at least give him a month to get used to the routine. In the meantime I would put him to bed an hour earlier, read him a story or whatever you do. No T.V. in his room, nothing of that sort. Make sure he has a wind down time prior to going to bed as well such as a show on t.v. that isn't packed with action, make it more of a soothing show. Remember nobody goes to sleep as soon as their head hits the pillow whether that be child or adult. Give this a try, I think you will notice a difference but again, as I said I would be in the office quicker than you could say the word. This is very unfair to your child and any other who has a sleeping problem. The teacher has to remember that all children are not the same. The ones' who are very active, hyper etc. they are ready to "rock". Your child sounds like a quiet little guy so of course he isn't going to just jump up and say "hey, lets' get this party going". I think you get the jist. I have dealt with Principles', Teachers', everyone in the School System having 3 children of my own. One thing I did NOT tolerate was hearing only one side of a story. At some point I would ask to sit in on the classroom (this is your right) and see how the teacher is with other children as well as your own. Always make it a priority to keep in touch with the teacher regardless of what grade he is in. The School System from my point of view isn't like it was years' ago when teachers' cared. Now its just another well paying job. There are teachers' who really truly care but remember not everyone is the same, some its' just a clock on the wall. I'm not trying to tell you that the School System is the worst but there are cracks' in the system. Take care,

Pamela - posted on 09/18/2012

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Yes, especially if the child is a young 5 years of age, or the behavior is uncontrollable. In most state kindergarten is NOT mandatory, so that can be done.



Nine hours of sleep is obviously not enough for your son. Most young children require a minimum of ten hours and depending on the child, maybe more. Ten hours, however is standard.

Gabrielle - posted on 09/16/2012

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My 6yo daughter gets at least 10 hours of sleep every night, and I wish I could give her 11. Your son needs more sleep at night - 9 hours is not enough. Your son is sleeping because he's tired - period.

Sarah - posted on 09/11/2012

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My son got sent to a behavioral class after 3 days of kindergarten. Talk to the school district. They can have him tested. The food at lunch may be what is making him grumpy. A lot of kids get tired while digesting.

Lee Ann - posted on 09/09/2012

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I am also from Texas and former kinder teacher. Once you have registered your child in public school students must follow attendance laws, especially kinder since it is optional. You can't pull them out and not attend school. So the school can not "kick your child out". If your child has behavior issues they can suspend them but that is about it. As a former kinder teacher it takes kids time to adjust to a regular school setting. If they haven't been in some kind of "school" it is a long and busy day. Talk with your child's teacher and figure out a plan that will help him be successful. Hope things get better.

Sherri - posted on 09/09/2012

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That is not nearly enough sleep. My 6yr old goes to bed at 7:30pm and gets up at 6:30am. So yup he is getting 11hrs of sleep a night. You need to be getting him to bed an hour or two earlier every night and I bet your problems would be eliminated.

Angie - posted on 09/08/2012

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Thank you, for everyones help. I did send him with lunch on Friday, and no there is no time for nap or rest time at the school, I understand he is a big boy now and we need to teach him that when your teachers says to do something just do it. And we are going to put him into bed early to get him 11 hours of sleep. Onces again THANK YOU, EVERYONE

Ashley - posted on 09/08/2012

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My daughter was really fussy after lunch and wanted to sleep too. We started sending her lunch from home and the issue was eliminated within the first week. We didn't realize how many preservatives were put into the school food and it was upsetting her stomach making her want to sleep. Once we adjusted her diet she didn't have a problem making it through the day. Her kindergarted class had naptime around 2 every day. Does his school do nap time? If they dont that may be a big part of the issue too...

Jen - posted on 09/07/2012

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If it's a public school, I don't see how they can kick him out. I agree with other commenters that kindergarteners normally have a rest time, I'm surprised they don't seem to. Did your son nap during the day until he started school? Because if he did, the school day is a big adjustment. He will adjust, but it may take a few weeks. And the school should have seen this before. I think it's his attitude when he's tired that must be bothering them rather than the tiredness itself.



I would try getting him more sleep at night - also make sure he's eating a nutritious breakfast and lunch. Meals that are high in sugar and low in protein may make him "crash" - he should have protein and fiber at every meal to maintain a more even keel. And believe me, school lunches are often NOT balanced. Lastly, talk to him about his behavior. Make sure that he understands that it's OK and normal to get tired, you know he's working hard, but that it's not acceptable to act out toward the teacher or classmates when he's tired. I know a 5 yo is not always going to be able to control this, but he's old enough to start learning. Good luck, and I hope it all works out for you and your son.

Beth - posted on 09/07/2012

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My son is 4 and a half and needs 11-12 hours of sleep per night, so he sleeps from 7pm til 6:30 or so. He does not nap. Kids this age need A LOT of sleep, which is great! Just enforce it!! The better rested he is, the better the behavior will be and the less he'll resist the routine:-)

Jennifer - posted on 09/07/2012

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each child is different. my son gets about 9 or 10 hours of sleep at 5yrs old but has always gotten less sleep then other kids (even when I beg!!! lol) does your son have to be woken up every morning for school? if you have to struggle to wake him, then he needs to go to bed earlier in the evenings. he may not like it but tough. you have to listen to your childs body when it comes to how much sleep they need. how many hours sleep does he get on a day where you don't wake him up for anything? that will give you a good clue.



as for a school booting him out for that, I can't see it being possible. especially so early in the year. my son just started kindergarten and I was told for weeks in advance that he will be more tired and so on and that it is very normal. if you feel like the teacher is bulling you into feeling bad about this, talk to the principal. tell the teacher you are working on him getting more sleep and do push the issue of earlier bedtime on school nights - at least till he is more used to things.

Nicole - posted on 09/07/2012

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I can't imagine them being kicked out of school. I would try to maybe put him to bed earlier. But I do believe that if you take him out and wait till next year and its just he doesn't want to be at school he will think he can act the same way and will not have to go.

Sarah - posted on 09/07/2012

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I hope you find a solution soon, so that he will be able to focus in the afternoon hours. I know that has to be tough being told that by his teacher. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 09/07/2012

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If he's being disruptive to the other students, I would think it's possible. From what you've told us, and the fact that I was a first grade teacher last year, I can tell you it has to be disruptive to the other students for the teacher to take 5-30 minutes to calm him each day. Principals and teachers place high value on instructional time, so this is seen as taking away from the instructional day, which causes the students not to learn their objectives in a timely manner. In NC, kids aren't required to attend school until age 8, so I would think if my daughter would've been doing this in her kindergarten year (age 5), that I may have been asked to withdraw her until the following year. This does seem like a drastic step. Seems like they would hook you guys up with the counselor to figure out a solution to the problem before taking those measures. My daughter is 6 and she usually does well with 9-10 hours sleep each night. I'm with Jeneane Stepan on not understanding why your son's class doesn't seem to have nap time. My daughter's class did last year. Like Jeneane, I think inquiring about nap time is a great place to start.

Jeneane - posted on 09/06/2012

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I don't understand, don't most Kindys have a rest time. Both my kids' (14 and 7), Kindys had rest time and gradually had less of a rest time, I think It's more of a school issue then a kid issue. Maybe ask if there is a rest time during the day.

Angie - posted on 09/06/2012

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Dove,



Yes, he turned 5 in July, let me tell you what has happen for him the first 8 days of school. I spoke to his teacher last week and she told me and my husband that he is an excellent student, (in the mornings), but after lunch (around 1pm) he is ready for a nap and don't do his work, he tells her "NO" and takes off his shoes. When he calms down he is ready for more work but sometimes it might take him 5 to 30 minutes to calm down. I'm so stress I don't know what to do, we live in the state of Texas and he is in a public school, but the diffences is that this school is very small only 300 students and every student that applied to the school their names where to into a lottery and thats how he got in, but I'm just so afraid they are going to ask us to withdraw him.

Dove - posted on 09/06/2012

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Kindergarten is more stressful than the weekends... and the year has just started, so it's all new to him right now. ;)



Is he a young 5? He might just not be ready for Kindergarten yet.



Is this a public school? Private school can kick you out for just about anything if they want to, but I don't 'think' a public school could kick him out for that. It's still the beginning of the school year. A kindergarten teacher should be able to understand that some kids are going to take a while to adjust.

Angie - posted on 09/06/2012

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Dove,



I will have him go to sleep earlier, but what I don't understand is on weekends he doesn't nap and get about the same hours of sleep.



Thanks for your advise

Dove - posted on 09/06/2012

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I can't imagine any 5 year old being ok with only 9 hours of sleep.....



My oldest needed 12 hours of sleep until she was 6. She's almost 11 and still 'needs' 10 hours a night (but only gets it on weekends). My 4 year old, on the other hand.... does fine with 11 hours right now and can 'handle' only 10 (but it's really not pretty around here by 4pm). He was sleeping 10-11 hour nights when he was still napping.... over a year ago.

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