Child on school bus is bullying my son. How much is enough?

Vicki - posted on 05/19/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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My son gets on the school bus every morning, leaves his cell phone and football at home so the bully won't take it. He sits quietly on the bus and prays to not get spit on, slapped in the face or his legs pulled on underneath the bus seats. If my son says he's gonna tell on him the bully tells my son that the next day he's gonna bring a gun to school on the bus and shoot my son in the head.

I have spoke with the superintendent of the bus barn and told my story and they have moved the two boys from each other to assigned seats. But the bully moves up front to my son's assigned seat. Futhermore, nothing has been done, the principal has been notified, still nothing is done. What can I do? Any suggestions?

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Latosha (Tosha) - posted on 05/21/2010

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well how i dealt with the bully situation was to first tell my sons to tell the kid to stop, second, tell the bus driver, call the bus barn, then the school district. when that didn't work, i went to the parents house. the child still bullies but not my kids. i have also informed the school, my kids, that child, and their family that my kids will give three chances. if, by the third chance, the bullying is still continuing,my boys have the right to whoop that tail and I will deal with the parent.

Jodi - posted on 01/28/2013

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Go straight to the police, don't even bother with a school who does nothing.

Holly - posted on 03/26/2011

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The gun threat is not tolerable. Too many kids have carried through with that threat. I would contact the police as others have said, If that does not get anywhere I would see if the newspaper is interested in the story. It would be an attention grabber!

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Cynthia - posted on 03/23/2013

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Nope...this did not happen in my case. My daughter was beat up on the bus...the girl was suspended from school for a week, kicked off the bus for a few weeks. My daughter was scared for her life. My daughter was only 65 lbs and this girl was over 100 lbs. She attacked her from behind. The girl was given a referral a day before for stating she was going to beat up my daughter (so they knew of the threat) I had to take my daughter to school because they told me "why should we make the girl find a ride? Her mother doesn't have a car" The girl had stolen my iPod from my home (she came in while I was in the back patio) The only reason I got it back was because it fell out of her pocket at school. I pressed charges but nothing happened to her. The only reason I knew she had received a referral was because of a text she sent someone. There were videos of her saying she was going to beat up my daughter also. She now goes to a private school (thanks to school vouchers) We still live in the same apartments as the girl so my daughter does not leave the house...it is crazy that these hood rats can do what they do without any consequences. Everyone says I should sue...and the only reason I would is because the school did nothing. They asked me why I was trying to ruin this girls life by giving her a record. Really? My daughters face was bloody! The girl punched and kicked, and stomped on my daughters face and yes it was all caught on video! (Which I was not allowed to see because of child privacy laws! WTH! I just get so angry when I think about what we were put through and are still dealing with because people from her old school still post things on her FB page! I had to cancel our phone. What do you think I should do? Just asking....

Thatguy - posted on 01/26/2013

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and children dont get guns from people they dont know. they get it from their parents who dont place it out of reach or in a safe.

Thatguy - posted on 01/26/2013

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Teach your son to defend himself. if hes getting slapped or hit on the bus thats assault. though its looked down upon. sometimes standing up for yourself is what needs to be done. i suggest judo. Not hitting but more..... i dunno Practical. he wont technically HIT him.

Frederick D - posted on 01/10/2013

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I drive a school bus on a daily basis.Your driver cannot use any kind of physical action against the student unless he has to break up a fight,and then he may not touch the student,if he does he may go to jail.The best thing to do is write a detailed letter to the school district,asking that the student be removed from the bus. The district will take care of the school and any other issues related to this. They will and have to straighten this out for you, guarenteed.

Karrie - posted on 03/26/2011

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I realize this response is a bit delayed, but I was reading your story and felt a conection to both you and your son over the events you described. I have a son that was dealing very much with the same issues on the bus. For almost two years my son dealt with being bullied on the bus. It went on as long as it did because he was not being open with me. He was afraid I would be upset and cause a huge ruckus with this bully and his mother. Which happen to be our neighbors. At first it was just words, this boy and apparently his younger sister were picking on my son since the day he started riding the bus. He has severe ADHD and has days where is is quite obnoxious, which is the reason I was given as to why he was being treated so meanly. Like most parents who child comes home crying because of what happened on the bus, first I went to the mother of the other children. Which let me tell you got me absolutely nowhere. Then I went to the school. Apparently this boy was in the same class as my son and they did not have issues while they were at school. In fact they would play together on the play ground and would interact like they were really good friends. However, on the bus things were quickly getting out of control. When I spoke with the transposrtation board ( bus barn ) I was told that the particular bus my son rode is a "rough" bus to ride and there are a few trouble makers on the bus but that they did not have the money in their budget to have a ride along teacher to assist the bus driver. When I volunteered to do it (free of charge) I was told due to insurance reasons I was not able to do so. So I made them aware that I was very unhappy with the way my son is treated on the bus and I planned to take legal action on the very next incident.
Low and behold about two weeks later my son come home with his bottom lip busted open. I was FURIOUS! Since it was on a Friday and by the time my son gets home from the bus the school is closed and everyone leaves before my son even steps foot in my door. First thing Monday morning I was in the principals office giving my opinion about the issues when I was told that the "tape" from the bus did not show any incident in which my child was harmed. Later I found out they were reviewing the morning tape and not the afternoon tape, but by the time it was realized the tape had been "recycled". I was assured that they would talk to the other boy and that the issue would be resolved. So both boys were removed from the bus for a week. Which I did not feel was fair as my child was a victim. At the time I did not have a vehicle and was not able to transport my child to and from school so I had to rely on a taxi service or not sent my child to school at all. So after all this happened I explained to my son that I know it is not right to hit someone, but he needed to stick up for himself. About 2 months ago, again my son came home with a bloodied lip and a bruise on his face. I asked him what happened. I was told that on the way to school this little boy (same bully) and his sister beat my son up on the bus. I immediately called the police. I was told I needed to deal with the school. I went and spoke with the monther of these children and was politely told what I could do to myself as she slammed the door in my face. First thing the next morning I was again in the principals office demanding the issue get handled right then. So the bus tape was sent over for me to view. During the tape you could see this little girl punching my son. And he will not hit a girl no matter the circumstances. During the commission of this beating you can see the bus pull over and hear the driver tell everyone on the bus that they are all going to the principals office when they get to school because of this fight. The kids were moaning and groaning when the bully stood up at the front of the bus and yelled back to my son telling him that he was going to come back there and smack the glasses right off his face. Quicky followed by the boy making good on his threat. I watched for almost 4 minutes while this little bully beat the living crap out of my son. By the time the tape was over I was seeing red. Not once at any time did the bus driver intervene. Did not say anything did not get up to stop this beat down, NOTHING. now remember the bus was pulled over and parked at this time. When the boy was done and returned to the front of the bus (which he had been assigned to sit in the front due to this type of behaviour) you heard the bus driver telling him in a jovial manner that he would probably get kicked off the bus again for this, to which the boy responded "so I don't care". I demanded the police liason for the school be contacted and that I was not leaving the school till something was done about this boy. After and hour and a half of waiting for the police officer to arrive and view the tape, I was informed that because my son did NOT fight back but he had told the boy he wasn't afraid of him he was considered a MUTUAL COMBATANT and that no charges could be filed. And I informed the police officer in no uncertain terms that if that little boy so much as touched a single hair on my sons head I was going to take matters into my own hands. A few days later I was contacted being reassured that this boy will not touch my son again and that his dad had set him straight. THis little boy and my son are now the best of friends and he has even taken up for my son against another bully since then. So I guess my point of this story is that although in my case the school was very helpful dealing with this sometimes things need to come to a head before they are dealt with satisfactorly. And I truely hope your son's issues have been resolved and that he is in good health and good spirits.

Danielle - posted on 05/26/2010

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All of our school buses have the cameras on the bus as far as I know. It's helped out quite a bit with many different problems.

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I would be straight to the school and speak to the school principle.Enough is enough.I would also speak to the bus driver.The children are in there care while on the bus and if this is happen the bus driver as the adult needs to deal wit it.Put your foot down mom and get into the school.Be straight and dont accept there brush offs if you get them.Mean business.Your son does not deserves this treatment.



Tell them you do not accept the treatment your child is having to deal with and more importantly you fear for his safety now,when he is not in your care.I would ask the also speak to the other child and look into why he is acting this way and he may need help as suggesting bringing in a gun to your son is serious.Hope your son will be okay and this bullying stops fast for him.I cant imagine how you must feel.As moms we hate seeing our children upset and afraid.Wishing a good outcome for you&your son fast.:-)

Shannon - posted on 05/25/2010

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Do the buses in your district have cameras? I know most newer buses do. If not, I would make sure he knows how to defend himself. We have this issue on our buses and it drives me nuts because the bus drivers always say they don't see anything. I would ask if your son could sit up front so that he is close to where the bus driver can keep an eye on him.
Does this same thing happen while he's at school?

Danielle - posted on 05/23/2010

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Don't they have cameras that records everything on the bus? We can go and request to see footage from the bus at our schools.

Linda - posted on 05/23/2010

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I never had to teach my kids how to fight because they were in catholic school and did not need to concentrate on fighting. However when I relocated to another state I could not afford thir catholic schools so public school is what I had to settle for. At this new school kids where picking on my children everyday. My chikdren did nothing but laugh because they thought they was playing. Until one day I picked my middle child up and she had a red ring around her eye. And before you know it I asked her what the F**k happen to you. I talked to one of the teachers that was there. Well the other student hit my daughter in the eye and nothing happen. And the attacker had nothing to happen to her either. No suspension are detention or nothing. Well I get to work the next day which I did work in the same school district and a female police office whom I had worked with at my school called me on the walkie talkie and asked me to come to the security office I did to find out that my daughter school had filed a complain on me for using F**K in front of my on kids. I was like what the F**k again. After that the following weekend I went and got a set of boxing gloves for me and my kids and we boxed all weekend until someone knocked each other out. We actully had fun. Monday came and this girl hit my daughter in her eye again nothing happen she came home with her other eye red. When my daughter got home I asked he again WTF happen. She told me the same girl had hit her. I went to the school and nothing was done about it again. Now matters are in my hand. I gave my daughter permision to fight back and that is what she did. Not only she fault back her friends helpped her because they was tired of the girl doing the samething to them. The mom wanted to press charges against me and the school backed her up not knowing that I keep a paper trial of emails I had been sending to the school concerning this matter. When it was all said and done no one messed with my daughter becasue they knew she know how to fight now. A week later the mom and 2 other females came to my house and at the time I had a party going on and they got they a** beat down. And my daughter went to school and did the same to her daughter again. The family then moved to another school district. I ate to say this but get more involved with your child and don't let this bad person do this to your child. It is bad but you must stop it.

Lillyan - posted on 05/21/2010

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Well I was about to ask how old is your son?But that's really irrelevant,he's a child and my 11yr old had a problem with a bully at" school." He got to where he would make up excuses not to go to school(acting really out of character) I try to teach my children not to be going around making trouble for themselves or others. So when he encountered this bully I just let him know that it's o.k. to protect himself,and when that didn't stop him from being bullied I just changed his school I know that seems a little drastic but I had to do whatever it took to protect my son. So I would suggest that you maybe change your son's school if that's possible.

Steffanie - posted on 05/21/2010

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I would go to the superintent of the school district. Start keeping a daily log of what the bully is subjecting your son too. Make a police report at your local police agency, especially if the child is threatening to blow your child's head off. I would also put him in a self defense class, and give your son permission to fight back. Obviously the school and bus company isn't doing anything to protect your child. Can you take your son to school yourself, or can your spouse? You can avoid this daily torment by not having him ride on the bus. Is the school close enough for him to walk to? Maybe think about starting a car pool with some neighbors with children your age? It sounds like this bully is making your son's life a living hell...Find a lawyer and threaten to sue the school district. I cannot believe that the bully has threatened to shoot him and nothing is done! After the school shooting in the past couple of years, most schools have a no wepons policy, which also includes threats. If the school, superintendent, and principal blows you off threaten to sue their pants off. That should get the bully forced off the bus!

Valerie - posted on 05/20/2010

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this is totally unacceptable...you need to report this to the bus driver, the bus garage and the principal...you neecd to see their bullying rules and consequences in writing and want to know how they are going to stop this now...if they do anything but be helpful and proactive, consult a lawyer and call the police to report the bullying and the school bus garage response...don't take this for your kids sake...i don't want to hear about another child committing suicide due to bullying...all the best

Angie - posted on 05/19/2010

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In most school districts, even suggesting that a gun is going to be brought to school is enough to get a child kicked off the bus. Make sure the school district is aware of this.Whatever you do, don't confront the othe child's parents; it never works and almost always makes things worse. If he threatens to bring a gun again, call the police and file a report. My son had a gun pulled on him at school and nothing was done about it. I gave my son permission to leave school and come home (we only lived a mile away) and bring his sister with him if it happened again. I told the school I would then call the police and the school would be locked down. Since it's a paperwork nightmare to deal with that, they were more careful in the future.

Dawn - posted on 05/19/2010

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I am a proactive mommy, if the adults won't do anything, teach your son how to fight back. Sometimes in life you can't get the authorities to do anything. I would rather my child get kicked off the bus for fighting back, than to go to school terrified everyday.

Alicia - posted on 05/19/2010

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i assume youve told the bus driver and the other parent. File an assault charge with your local police department.

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