daughter wants to be homeschooled based on bully in class this year

Wendy - posted on 02/10/2011 ( 46 moms have responded )

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My daughter is in the 2nd grade & has LOVED school since kindergarten.She has virtually no one her own age around in her life at home The thought of homescool was inconceivable to her until this year. Each year there seems to be some mean girl in her class-I talk to the teacher, they are seperated & everything is fine. But this year is different, the girl is not only mean but threatens bodily harm to my child if she tells. She has kept this in all year but not w/out an upset stomach every morning & crying to not have to go to school for the 1st time ever. She finally told me the extent of the bullying a coupla days ago. I do not want to send her to school & the thoughts of homeschooling her is kinda exciting to me-as I don't really have a life outside of her- yet scary too-will she learn as much? what about the things she will miss out on, like dances, field trips, plays(drama), band, etc....things I cant offer at home. I talked to her teacher today about the bullying so I'm not sure how that will turn out just yet but sky has decided she wants to be homeschooled regardless now. I'm not sure if it's just the 'new' of it now or what. I just don't want to make a mistake that might not be for the best of my child- either way. Please- anyone with any advice / opinions/ ANYTHING(!!!!!) concerning homeschool,bullying, just my whole situation here- PLEASE REPLY. Honestly, I have NO ONE to discuss this with but my ever faithful moms here in "Circle of Mom's"!

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Richelle - posted on 02/18/2011

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If you feel that she's given the PS a decent try, then pull her her and homeschool. Depending on what state you're in, there are online schools that give a student the chance to be a part of clubs, field trips, band/choir and social events. The field of homeschooling has grown by leaps and bounds in the past few years, especially because of bullying. My son began to have problems with bullying in 2nd grade. We changed from the first school he was in because of their refusal to do anything. They believed that teasing wasn't bullying and just a part of life. The elementary school we switched our kids to had a very pro-active stand on teasing and bullying which was great. The middle school he went to for sixth grade however, was horrible. We pulled my oldest son from the middle school after he got into trouble for defending himself. When he moved to the middle school, he was teased and tormented nearly every day, and some of the kids who tormented him were ones who got in trouble for it at the elementary school. There were so many kids in each class that the teachers didn't notice what was going on. They thought he was clumsy and just didn't care about his grades. At one point a student pretended to be gay and made a pass at my son! Later in the semester he was threatened twice on the bus. After reporting it to the school, the assistant principal called us back and (with the school psychologist also on the phone) told me that we needed to get my son tested for Asperger's (a type of autism) because none of HER students would say things like that and none of HER students would lie to her. Evidently my son didn't count. We did get him tested, which is when we found out that although he did not have Asperger's or ADHD, he does have severe anxiety and depression because of the constant bullying. He began seeing a therapist, as well as talking to the school counselor, but once the asst. principal gave the opinion that our son was autistic (the tests were negative and she was informed of this) no one would support him or listen to him at the school. Eventually things came to a head, he got into trouble for defending himself, and he finally admitted he'd been making plans to commit suicide. He's been much happier since leaving the school, we are enrolling him in an online charter school for next year and helping him work through the problems he now has because of all the bullying.



Sorry this is so long, but I've learned the hard way about this exact subject. It was so disheartening to see him so upset to go to school, and heartbreaking when he'd finally admitted how despondent he'd become. I hope that the school your daughter is currently in is one of the more pro-active schools, but if it's not, don't hesitate to pull her out. It's not running away, but preserving her sanity. A very good book I'm reading that may help you is called The Bully, The Bullied, and the Bystander by Barbara Coloroso. Good luck in your decisions, and if you want more information please don't hesitate to contact me.

Krissy - posted on 02/12/2011

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We are a homeschool family. My kids are academically 1-3 grades ahead on every subject. They get lots of social interaction with me babysitting school aged kids and going to church and being involved in clubs and such.



My daughter was bullied in PS, but part of her issue is she's fairly gifted and yet disorganized. She is the type of child that could NOT fit in a school and handle the social stuff. She was starting to talk about wanting to just go to heaven and not be alive anymore when she was almost 7... at almost 8 when it was continuing... we gave up and pulled her.



We also pulled my son the following year. So far, it's been the best for us. We are a closer family, the kids learn CONSTANTLY.... not to mention we are Christian, so we can teach them based on our beliefs (and that's not just "sheltering" them from evolution... that's teaching them both and explaining why we believe what we believe)



I don't see too many down sides to home schooling so far... except that other people can be pretty negative and demeaning.



ps. they were both getting fatter in school, too... from all the sitting I think. Plus my son has some mild impulse issues and had a hard time with his KG teacher. He learns leaps and bounds at home in shorter spurts and being able to stand, sit, wiggle, etc... while he does his work.

Holly - posted on 03/01/2011

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Wendy, I am a retired teacher and I speak at schools and guest blog about school bullying. I got into this because of my grade3-6 fiction book that deals with bullying. So I had to do a lot of reading. There are things you can do. First don't leave this decission up to your daughter, she is not old enough to think ahead, or able to consider how home schooling will really effect her. FYI Home schoolers usually learn more than public schoolers but they do miss out on the social skills.
To deal with the bullying. Find out what anti-bullying programs your school is doing. They likely are doing at least one, Rachel's Chain, Purple Hand etc. Talk to the school counselor about the skills that are being taught and what the school's policy is in handling the bullying. Your school counselor will probably want to talk to your daughter and find out more about what is going on. If this scares her, offer to go in with her. Ask if the school is talking to the bully's parents, and if they are concerned. They may take their child in hand. (The school counselor will probably talk to the bully too to find out the underlying reason behind the bullying)
What preventative actions can you take-
First reassure your daughter that this is not her fault. No matter what anyone says-no one deserves to be bullied. Some times bullies try to claim that if the victim didn't___fill in the blank, they wouldn't bully them. This is just not true. Bullying is wrong, and is not the victim's fault.
Talk to your daughter about the other kids in the class. Who is she friends with? Who does she play with at recess? Who does she like to sit with at lunch? Also when do the threats occur?
Help your daughter reach out to some of the other kids in her class. Invite them over for play dates, get acquainted with their parents. Play dates develop relationships and bonding which causes the other child to be more likely to stand up for your daughter which is an effective anti-bullying behavior. That may be too scary though but the other children will also be more likely to report the bullying which also helps.
Having other friends will help keep your child from being isolated, making her a less attractive target.
Other friends will say things to your daughter that will reassure her that she does not deserve the bullying. They will say they like her, or that the bully is just being mean etc.
Teach your daughter how to talk to other kids and develop friendships. All of have to learn how to start conversations with others. Things like, I like your backpack, where did you get it? I like your red folder, is red your favorite color?
What did you do over the weekend? Did you have a good birthday? (most young grades announce each child's birthday. So the next day ask about it or if the celebration is to be over the weekend ask on monday)
Role play doing this with your daughter, then have her role play with Dad, grandma, or a family friend. This will help her get comfortable with doing this and this skill will bless her all her life. At the end of each practice session let the practice become silly with silly questions or answers so your daughter will associate the skill with fun.
I hope this helps. I would like to know how things work out, I am always collecting bullying stories for my talks. I never use any names or places so there is no reference to the real people involved.

Becky - posted on 01/03/2012

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Bullying sucks and I can relate. This is the first year our 3rd grader hasnt had bullying issues. Keep in mind 2nd graders are not likely to physically hurt someone. HOWEVER you absolutely need to get up in the schools face and let them know you expect this to be resolved ASAP. Talk to the teacher and the principle Mama Bear. All I can tell you is that this will pass and homeschooling as a 2nd grader is not the answer. Is it possible for you to volunteer in her class a bit to help ease her fears? I am not trying to make light of this, but we did use this as a learning experience because, let's face it, everywhere you go in life (no matter what age) there will be bullies. Teach your child to stand firm and deal with the bullying. Running away is not the answer unless there is true danger. I hope this helped. ((HUGS))

Lisa - posted on 01/01/2012

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Interested to know what you decided.

I'd like to add my voice to those who feel you don't need to submit your child to years of abuse at the hand of her peers in order to "learn how to handle it." In real life, adults who behave the way bullies do are NOT the norm and learning how to tolerate constant public humiliation or physical abuse is not a life skill that most healthy adults need to cultivate. In fact, I would prefer that my children learn how to extricate themselves from abusive relationships as adults, not tolerate them!

Having homeschooled for about twelve years, I can say that if you make the effort to get your daughter involved in activities, either through a homeschooling group or things like girl scouts, sports, dance or art classes, you will have no problem teaching her how to act appropriately in social settings (which is what "socialization is, is it not?). As a matter of fact, she will have an advantage over her peers who will only know how to socialize in large, same age groups with very little adult supervision. Your daughter will learn how to socialize with children of all ages, as well as adults. A skill most public schooled children don't master until college. (And some not then!) In my experience, I have found the majority of homeschooled children to be kind, polite and interesting to talk to. I see no evidence that they have a higher incidence of poor social skills than public schooled children.

As to events like prom, homecoming, etc. Cross that bridge when you get there. Two of my sons chose to attend high school, one has chosen to homeschool all the way and one is still too young to care. Your daughter can still attend these "special" events as the guest of someone who goes to that school. Some areas have homeschool prom. Explore your options as she gets older.

Take care of your daughter and her education for now, let the future unfold and make those decisions based on the person she grows up to be.

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46 Comments

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Courtney - posted on 02/17/2014

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We'll you know what!! Do what's the best for her!! Make her happy! simple as that homeschool her!!

Becky - posted on 01/03/2012

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Bullying sucks and I can relate. This is the first year our 3rd grader hasnt had bullying issues. Keep in mind 2nd graders are not likely to physically hurt someone. HOWEVER you absolutely need to get up in the schools face and let them know you expect this to be resolved ASAP. Talk to the teacher and the principle Mama Bear. All I can tell you is that this will pass and homeschooling as a 2nd grader is not the answer. Is it possible for you to volunteer in her class a bit to help ease her fears? I am not trying to make light of this, but we did use this as a learning experience because, let's face it, everywhere you go in life (no matter what age) there will be bullies. Teach your child to stand firm and deal with the bullying. Running away is not the answer unless there is true danger. I hope this helped. ((HUGS))

Stacie - posted on 12/29/2011

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I think home schooling and private schools are an awesome option to public schools. But the bottom line is that she is not choosing home school, she is running because she doesn't feel safe. You need to go to that school and meet with the teacher and the principal everyday until something is done and she feels safe. After she feels safe, if you still want to homeschool her than that is great, but if you just run then that's what she will learn and eventually she will regret it.

Melanie - posted on 12/22/2011

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There is another option. Go to k12.com and take a look. They provide all of the curriculum and most of the materials. You can learn in the mornings,evenings or anytime and you meet with the teacher 4 times a year. Also the only time that you are online with others the teacher is always present so bullying is next to impossible and for the outings that they have at least once a month or so you are present and so are the parents of the other students. Makes it easy to start homeschooling because you have a state licensed teacher and most everything you need to start. In most states they have a free public school option and it is better than most public schools because they still have art, and you can choose music or langauge options. You do most of the teaching, it is partially online, and you have a certified teacher if you run into difficulties.

My son loves school now and has always hated it in the past.

Kimberly - posted on 12/21/2011

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I homeschool my 4 kids bc of bullying and sexual harrassment on my oldest girl, the schools were doing nothing, I chose to go with K12 but honestly don't know if I will be using them next year, mainly bc of my 3 youngest being so far behind and K12 is having probs getting it ok'd to accomadate them better.(5th grader can't read or subtract and the other 2 are right there with her, oldest is way ahead tho) anyways, I chose it but before I did, I made sure I could keep them involved in sports and with other kids. Most communities have a homeschool association and usually offers extra classes kids can take together and field trips and such. I also kept them in football/cheerleading/softball/baseball/boyscouts/american heritage girls(kinda like girl scouts) thru a nearby parks and rec that they have been involved with for sometime so they still have a lot of interaction and aren't isolated.check out your local homeschool associations, parks and rec and cub-girl scouts troups..best of luck and remember you can always send them back to a B&M school if homeschool doesn't work for your family..

Jody - posted on 12/06/2011

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If you believe homeschooling is the way to go then do it! Your daughter is a child, she doesn't know what is best for her, you do. I just started homeschooling my two boys this past year and it has been a great thing. I was nervous as well, but with a great curriculum it's a wonder. This bullying thing at school has gotten out of hand, whenever I read the countless stories of kids being picked on as your daughter has been I have NO doubt that homeschooling is for us! There are lots of resources online about homeschooling and some wonderful blogs written by homeschooling moms. I encourage to start reading them, they give you a glimpse into the homeschool world, how the day goes, how they incorporate the social aspect into these kid's day. Can you homeschool? YES! Should you? That is something you need to decide.

KatieCampoli - posted on 12/04/2011

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I to did that when i was around 11.
It made me feel a lot better and when i was in 7th grade everythign got A LOT better. It makes you feel nice and calm, and not lonely really.
Hope This Helped!

Richelle - posted on 11/30/2011

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Check out Calvert Academy. They have online schools throughout the US. Connections is another online school. Many states will have lists on their department of education websites of accredited online schools, some of which your daughter can still go to a school for PE, music and art. Google online schools for your state. I'm sure you will find lots to look at. Ebay and Craigslist are also good for supplies. My son is in an online charter school. His grades are higher than the previous year, and he is caring about his work and his grades now. It has made a huge difference. They have field trips every month, and he's even starting to ask to go do more social events, which is something that I wasn't sure I'd ever hear him say! Good luck, and if you need anything else, please feel free to get in touch with me - sunrunner_97@yahoo.com.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 11/29/2011

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As a person who was bullied all through school (by students and teachers) I want to ask first if you've spoken to the principal and had a meeting with this girl's parents as well because they should be made aware of what their child is doing.It needs to be nipped in the bud now and the teachers in the school should consider doing some assemblies on bullying. They've done this at my daughter's school. I wish my mom had considered this, but dropping the word lawsuit could help too.

I have a friend down in Texas who was homeschooled and she's now in college at Texas A&M I believe. She didn't miss out on anything having to do with a 'normal' school life she has friends. There are things that you can do in a home school environment that can't be done in public or private schools.

Tracey - posted on 11/29/2011

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I will just say that the person who started bullying me started in 1st grade, and kept it up until 10th grade. I had to have YEARS of therapy and some positive life experiences to overcome it. I was naturally an extrovert and had no trouble making friends. Between her clever emotional abuse and the fact that every single adult I approached for help accused me of exaggerating, imagining things or lying, I got to the point where I didn't trust my own judgement and thought I deserved whatever anyone did to me. Meg is right: in any other setting this would be considered abusive violence. Get her out of there and let her know she's safe!

Meg - posted on 08/24/2011

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Firstly I'd like to counter some people here who have said that to pull your child out of school will teach them to run away, or that they will not learn coping skills. If your child is sick on her stomach before school this is a HUGE problem, if she were going to learn coping skills this would have been the perfect opportunity for it, but actually bullying of this magnitude (or any level ftm) just causes damage. Pulling her out will teach her the most important lesson in life. That she is safe, that her mother is ih her quarter, and that it's ok to ask for help. Leaving her there will teach her that she is weak for not coping, and her self esteem will be irreparably damaged. Many MANY people who are bullied end up in therapy, and some kids commit suicide because of bullying, It's not character building, it's violence. No one would suggest that living with domestic violence builds character, so why do we think that living with bullying in schools teaches resilience? I actually think it's time we renamed it SCHOOL VIOLENCE, because bullying has become some kind of rite of passage that kids need in order to succeed in life, which is just sick if you ask me.

I am an unschooling mama of three. The kids LOVE it.

I see that you're concerned that you may be making a mistake by homeschooling. Well here's the thing. Schools will always be there, you can ALWAYS send her back to school (although I don't know a single kid who was sent back lol) but you can't undo the bullying if she keeps attending school.

Homeschool groups meet right across the country, they have social gatherings weekly, the usual sporting competitions, lessons in sport, drama, music etc, and they even have high school graduation dances!

Lynne - posted on 08/18/2011

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I am homeschooling my daughter this year for the same reason. We made her stay the year last year and she endured the bullying. In return I got days of cleaning up vomiting, picking her up due to migraines and constant fighting. So this year we talked to her neurologist and decided it would be something to try. We have taken her off all migraine meds and so far so good. I have also connected with many families in my community that homeschool. I am petrified that I wont beable to do it, but I have been told different by many people. Socialization is easy to do. Make sure you keep up with playdates, engage her in sports or girlscouts, 4-h or other activities like that. Public school is not for everyone. Only you know your child. I have a son that is 7 and will be continuing public school but my daughter who is 9 and will be going into 4th grade this year will be homeschooled. She loved school and has been having problems here and there over the years has decided to take a break and re-group. If she lokes it we will continue if not then she will go back into public school and figure out a new tactic. All you can do is try. Plus how can she concentrate and learn in an enviroment that she is scared of. Hope all goes well and I believe homeschooling is a gift to your child. Take the first year to get to understand her learning style and everything will fall into place after that. The first leap is always the hardest.

[deleted account]

My daughter asks frequently to be home-schooled because of social issues at school. I supplement at home, but still send her to school every day. We spend a lot of time discussing how God expects us to treat other people and how much He loves us. I make every effort to encourage her efforts and build up her self-esteem. But I make her look at her own behavior (especially with her brothers) and ask if it is as kind as she would like to be treated. We cannot always protect our children from bullies, but we can teach them how to deal with them. I would encourage you to follow your instinct. Just remember to keep her involved with other children. There are co-ops and many activities geared towards home-schoolers to encourage socialization at local libraries and the YMCA.

Maura - posted on 03/29/2011

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Hello Wendy,

My son went through bullying in 2nd grade also. I moved him from public school to a private catholic school. It worked very well for five years. This year I enrolled him in a public online school. It has been a very good experience. She can excel in her studies and participate in school field trips in your area. The online school that my son is enrolled in has enrollment in different states. Take your time and educate yourself on your options. This is my first year for the non-traditional type of schooling ; but I have not regreetted my decision. A mother is her child's best advocate and no matter what you decide, your child will benefit from the decision!

Wendy - posted on 03/28/2011

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update: my daughter switched back to wanting to be homeschooled shortly after my last update & has stuck w/ it ever since. I thoroghly believe we are about to be a homescool family. PLEASE you guys- ANY and ALL advice will be appreciated. Websites, good buys on HS products, words of wisdom, literally ANY help- however big or small...I will be forever indebted to you....am having tremendous fears of failing her.."what if I don't teach well..." type fears now. Please reply if you can help w/ any advice for me- I want to do well by her!!

Donna - posted on 03/15/2011

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My daughter had the same problem in middle school. I went to her school with no results so I went to the boy's mother and that fixed it. I also home schooled my son his senior year with very good results.

Holly - posted on 03/01/2011

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Casey, I write and speak about bullying. FYI, having kids involved in various group activities helps bully proof your child. They have a wider group of friends and so are less likely to be isolated. Friends reinforce us and tell us in many ways that we do not deserve the bullying. Good Reply too.

Holly - posted on 03/01/2011

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Steph, you might want to check my reply to Wendy for some concrete ways to help your kids be bully proof. It is always good to help God. Be Blessed

Casey - posted on 02/28/2011

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We made the choice to homeschool our son because of bullying and a learning disability (dyslexia) that the local education system is just not set up to handle. It has been HARD, but SO worth the change! I understand your concern about socialization, but please not that almost every region in the US has home-schoolers associations...groups of parents that homeschool and can provide support, advice, and a social outlet for both you and your child (for example...my kiddo LIVES for legos, and our local HA HAS a lego club that he can participate in every other week. There is also socialization at our synagogue and church (I'm Jewish and my hubby is not), and LOTS of local groups that you can get involved in). Just do what you feel is right for your family. I know that being bullied and afraid was making our son less successful in education, and he can to dread school days. Good luck and feel free to email me privately (newdamascusroad@hotmail.com or revgriz@live.com) if you have specific questions I can help with. Will be praying for you...it's a tough position to be in.

Steph - posted on 02/23/2011

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Hello Wendy Lee,
I can understand how you feel. I myself have been through the bullying. Girls loved to pick on me and make fun of me from kinder- high school. It was not fun I would do the same cry and vomit before school. But my mo
Kept me in school I learned how to manage it, learn that people are insecure with themselves that they have to find someone to bully. The girls we threaten to fight to fight me but I believe that because my mom and me would pray and read our bibles every morning before school none of the girls ever touched me!!! This is my advise turn to God and lean on him remember he is a miracle worker, protector, and comforter!!! Almost always the girls that bullied me tried to become my friends after a while. My daughter was going through the same thing and she is in kinder. But we pray every morning on our way to school and the little girl is being nice to her now! JESUS is the answer to everything!!! pray and see what is best for you and your family! Blessings, Stephanie

Ginny - posted on 02/23/2011

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I HS my 8yo and 5yo twins, and we love it. My oldest went to public school for kindergarten, and then we started homeschooling because of a move, among other things. Our homeschool group here has a weekly park day, and sometimes families interested in homeschooling will join us for that to meet people and ask questions. We also have several moms meetings monthly. Check into hs groups in your area, and see if you and your daughter could join them sometime for an activity just to check things out. If she met some new friends who hs, she might be more willing to give it a try. If she tries and doesn't enjoy it, she can always go back to school at a later time, and maybe a break will give her a chance to get over the anxiety left from the bullying. Best of luck!

Sara - posted on 02/22/2011

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If you can find a homeschooling community in your city/town you will get to meet a lot of new friends and also get some support and ideas. We are part of a bunch of homeschooling groups and do SO much with them. We have some regular friends we see and are always meeting people of different ages and skills. We are starting a homeschooling rock climbing class next week and are also part of a homeschooling girl guides group. We do a homeschooling art class with some of her friends, and do lots of playdates. Homeschooling is fun for the whole family;)

Wendy - posted on 02/22/2011

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wow. you guys have given me a lot to go on here & i basically have pretty much NO fears concerning this now. I WANT to homeschool her now.i would however, like to let you all know that after talking to the school the teacher & guidance counselor talked to the other girl (& my daughter) PLUS the teacher called the other girl's parents. sky says the bullying has stopped but she still feels bad because of the things that WERE said & done. she says she wants to stay in school now-BUT tries a million excuses every day to not go (this is new for her since the bullying started this year). before i posted when i started talking to her about homeschool, i ,stupidly, expressed my concerns about it w/her (the social aspect)-i have since recanted & told her all that i learned from you guys. i feel lost. she says she wants to stay in school now but goes overboard w/excuses to get out of it. she still gets sick to her stomach each morning as well....just dont know.......

Agnieszka - posted on 02/22/2011

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let her decide. she wants to be homeschooled -give it a try. she wants to go back to school - let her do it. if not, continue. simple, isn't it?;-)
if she can't decide, talk about it. if she changes her mind every 2 weeks, talk some more. and i mostly mean "listen";)

Shanna - posted on 02/22/2011

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If you are serious about homeschooling I would seriously look into a virtual academy. It's a public school education but at home. There are so many choices out there if you want to try it on your own also. I homeschool my 6 year old son, (I don't use a virtual academy but my sil does use one for my nephews). I love homeshooling. And there is so much you can do for socialization. Search for homeschool groups or coops, and there is thinks like karate, swimming, dancing. And sometimes your public school will still allow the child to participate in school dances and such (I was homeschooled and still got to go to them). Make a list of the pros and cons, do lots of research, search self-learning programs like Robinson curriculum and accelerated achievement. Your options are endless.

Tracie - posted on 02/21/2011

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Make no mistake, if you choose to homeschool, you are accepting a full time job. That said, if you can devote the time, it can be a fantastic way to learn.

I've done it all with my girls, private school, public school and homeschool. All have their advantages and disadvantages.

Don't let the social aspect keep you from homeschooling. There are LOADS of opportunities for socialization outside of school work - scouts, dance class, karate, etc. And you can take her on any field trip you want - any time!

We used the K-12 homeschool and I cannot recommend it highly enough. They give you everything you could ever need to teach, including books, paper, art supplies, even a computer and printer - for free!! They also keep you informed of organized field trips for homeschooling families.

So glad to hear that you are taking your daughter's bullying situation seriously. By addressing it, you are helping your daughter learn that she doesn't have to take abuse, and you are teaching the other girl that she does not have the right to hurt others.

Best of luck to you!!

[deleted account]

I should add that you mentioning having no life outside of your daughter is concerning me as well. Being devoted to our children is a WONDERFUL thing, but outside activities and interests are critical.... especially when you are referring to having a school aged child. Homeschooling for the reasons you have mentioned could very well hinder, as opposed to help, both of you. Good luck!

[deleted account]

If she were having other problems in addition to the bullying I would think about the homeschooling approach a bit more. You mentioned that she used to love school up until this year, so it isn't the SCHOOL that is the problem.... just this one other kid. Unless you hide in a cave you will encounter bullies just about anywhere you go.... and at any age. I would rather go to the school w/ this issue and give your child the tools to empower herself against bullying as opposed to teaching her to run away from her problems. Many schools have really begun to crack down on the bullying problems. IF you were to go to the school and no effort at stopping the bullying were to happen.... I would reconsider the homeschooling aspect again.

Klara - posted on 02/19/2011

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I would approach this head on!
There are always gonna be mean/bullies no matter where she goes.
You need to teach how to stand up for herself, and I would talk to the teacher, principal, and school counselor. No child should be allowed to act that way and get by with it! There needs to be consequences for the bully. Our school has an anti-bully program they show yearly because of the increase in teen suicides, etc. due to bullying. My older daughter had an issue with an older kid, I called the school, thought it was taken care of. It happened again, and I apporached the kid directly and let him know it was unacceptable and he was going to have to deal with me if it happened again, and I would go to his parents, the cops, etc.. if I ever heard ti happen again. It did stop after I talked to him directly. He looked like a scared little boy when I approached him, but I'll be damned if a then middle schooler was gonna pick on my then kindergarten daughter! Not in this lifetime! I wish you the best, its a hard one. That is what I have and would do. Take care and please keep us posted!

Angie - posted on 02/19/2011

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I think that homeschooling is a great thing. A child can still take part in after school activities at a young age and in middle and high school they can take part in school sports, etc. However, if you are only homeschooling so your daughter can run away from bullies and to foster your dependence on your relationship with her it may not be the right thing. Any time she interacts with others, as a child or an adult, she will be confronted by bullies. You say that you “don't really have a life outside of her”, that’s concerns me very much. Before you decide to homeschool speak with her school counselor about giving her the skills she needs to deal with bullies. I also think it would be wise for you to take an honest look at why you want to homeschool; is it to protect her or to keep you from going out and creating a life for yourself – without you daughter. Good luck, this is a difficult problem for you but I know with a lot of thought, you will come up with the answer that is best for your daughter.

Leslie - posted on 02/16/2011

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in my opinion homeschool is showing her its ok to run away from problems,,id talk to the school counselor or principal about the person bullying and your daughter.

Cheryl - posted on 02/15/2011

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Hi Wendy, I am not sure if you have received any replies on the homeschool front but I wanted to share. I have a 4 soon to be 5 year old and an 8 soon to be 9 year old. They are both boys and last year my hubby and I decided to homeschool. I was very nervous with pretty much the same concerns as you. Will they learn as much, will they miss out on activities? Well I can tell you halfway into our 2nd year the answer to these questions is no. They are both learning so much and it is at their own pace. They can go on field trips whenever we plan them and they are just as involved with extra curricular activities (Cub scouts, basketball, football, science clubs). I will say this take your time in makeing your decision. Weigh the pros and cons and then do what is best for your daughter and your family.

Linda - posted on 02/13/2011

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i homeschool and i love it i have twins that r 6 and a 9 year old it is easy 2 do and the kids learn more in my opinion

Colleen - posted on 02/12/2011

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Homeschooling is an awesome educational tool for book smarts but I fear for this reason, it will have very negative consequences later. I agree with an earlier poster, there will always be the one person that is going to make life hell but it's extremely, extremely important that kids learn coping skills to deal with people like that. By learning they have an "out" from the hard stuff, they will never learn to pick themselves up. I was not home schooled but I was picked on, I was bullied and i was given the "out" every time i felt threatened by anything. I am now 34 years old and still dont have the coping skills to deal with those people and tough situations.

Secondly, this is YOUR child. Have you gone into the school? Into the classroom even? I would take her in one day and go right to her homeroom with her and have her point out the girl, discretely of course so at least you know who she is dealing with. Then have a face to face with the principal. There are VERY strict laws in place now, even in grade schools over any kind of mental, emotional, and physical violence among students.

Krissy - posted on 02/12/2011

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oh, and my son... he was only in for KG... i sent him to school reading and counting to 100... he didn't learn much more that whole year... He would have been in first grade this year, and I started HSing him at the end of july. Since then, he complete all the 1st grade work, half the second grade work I had... When I went to see if I should get him 2nd grade curriculum in December... (a half year early)... it was too easy... so I bought third grade language arts... he is excelling with it so far. ...



Remember, he would be a in 1st grade, and based on his bday, he would be one of the youngest. He is almost done with the 2nd grade math curriculum. We are going to spend some time working on math facts before jumping into 3rd grade math...



On the flip side, I've seen families who do a poor job at teaching their kids... not because they can't, but because half the time, they just don't...

Danielle - posted on 02/10/2011

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Personally I wouldn't homeschool my children. Only b/c I was homeschooled for a little while as a child and it was very isolated and lonely and I also fell behind b/c my parents didn't have the time to take with me. If you can be dilligent and also make up for spending the day in class alone then I say go for it. But don't do it b/c she is being bullied. I know its hard to watch your child go through that (I've went through it with my son) but whether it's at school or somewhere else she's going to run into it. She has to learn how to deal with it. You have to be there to help her through it. You don't want her running from her problems. My son went through it, didn't even want to go to school at all. When he told me what was going on I was furious. Who has heard of children calling each other gay?!? I taught my son to stand up for himself and to ignore them. He came in last week so proud of himself b/c he stood up to them. (And without violence I might add). As a mother our first instinct is to go all mother bear and protect them but I've learned that if they are taught how to handle it then usually they eventually will. I hope things get better for your daughter. Good luck on the homeschooling =)

Ilene - posted on 02/10/2011

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I didn't have a choice, I went to school and starting in Middle school I was picked on and harrassed ever day. It hurts, it really does. My concern is if you take her out of public school, will she grow up thinking she can change up whenever she wants? I went through some depression and such but in the end, looking back, it made me who I am today and made me stronger. I go by the same name on Facebook. I don't have anyone to talk to either except the wonderful moms on here. Whenever I try to talk to the boyfriend, he gets angry and it's just about every time. Oh, I don't know where you live. I didn't really look but here in the Baltmore, MD I've seen advertisments about public school now being on the computer. Maybe in a couple years I'll do that too.

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