discipline...when is it to far?

Michelle - posted on 06/05/2012

I would ask where the child is being hit and why? Then I would tell the step daughter to not take the child to the grandmother's house any more.

I am a mom of two boys ages 17 and 14. I got married real young but married the wrong man, he was abusive. I divorced him after 5 years and after my divorced I found out I was a down syndrome carrier, the doctor told me if I wanted children I had to have them before the age of 30 years old. So I had both my children artificial insimulated (by a doctor). I could not afford to move live on my own, so I movied in with my parents, worked for 3 years then went to school online. My mother and dad both interfered in my life on how to raise my children. My oldest son when he was 10 became disabled with Bi-polar,Depressed, Anxity,Sleeping Disorder and ADHD. He was very violent, tore things up in the house along with my car over the years, kicking me, hitting his brother, pushed his grandmother once, stealing, Spankings did not work and I put him in a mental home several times to get him help because doctors could not help him, called the police and my parents threatened to kick me and my other son out if I pressed charges on him. I put up with this for 5 years. I stayed because my mother had a heart attack and lost my job, I worked only odd jobs and money from the school, so money was tight. I left the house when I met a wonderful Christian man who I am now married to and took my youngest son in. My oldest son is 17 now and lives with my parents. I gave them full cusity.

I called CPS and they investegated my son, so they would not think that I was abanding him, they gave my parents the right to raise him knowing the way he acts and today my son is worse then ever, he does drugs, drinking, has had sex and werked 2 cars, I called CPS again and they talked to my dad but have done nothing to my son making him go to a home to get help.
I have seen many cases where CPS has taken children and put them in foster homes where parents have raped the children, beat them, made the children go hungrey and the foster parents get paid to raise these children. The children come out with mental damage and are put into another foster home and another and so forth.

My suggestion again is just tell your step daughter to take any pictures if there are bruises, tell the grandmother the child will not be coming back over and you have pictures, if no pictures are taken then just tell her the child will not be coming back and you will call CPS and the police and file charges if she calls or bothers you again.

I hope this helps you out.

Terina - posted on 05/18/2012

i agree with dove and carol try to talk to them if poss as kids perception of things are sometimes a little diffrent from truth not to say shes lying though. . we regard hitting as little less than a punch over here. i do agree with using he naughty step and tapping the hand a child of 2 can be very `difficult' and they will learn what is acceptable by the examples they are shown, im sure the last thing she would want is her grandchild to hit others bacause he thinks it ok. its obviously worried the sister and bless her being brave to say something. anyone using a belt on a child i think is too far. but if you genuinly think that child is in danger then maybe bypass and go further its all cinfidential but please be sure before you do that. no child shou;ld be left with someone who is trusted for them to do that and what on earth can a 2 year old thats thats bad a belt is needed !! it discusts me that kind of thing goes on and we all knw it does , get her to wacth supernanny ! , hope all is ok

Dove - posted on 05/16/2012

Hitting a 2 year old with a belt is definitely going too far. Does grandma have custody or just babysitting? Where are the parents and do you have any relationship with them at all (or with grandma)?

If you know these people then it might be worth it to try and talk to them. If you don't, I'd call cps and at least report what your stepdaughter has told you.

Carol - posted on 05/16/2012

All states have different laws regarding it. Some claim to take kids away if you so much as tap a kid regardless of the reason. Other's will only step in if something leaves a mark or only allow certain parts of the body to be hit or only allow an open hand and no weapon. As a person who grew up getting up close and personal to my dad's belt and steel tipped boots, I'd at least talk to both parents and voice your concerns. Maybe all it will take is someone to explain that beating a kid with a belt is no longer acceptable and a threat of further action if it continues. It's amazing that people even have to be told not to hit a 2 year old with a belt. If it's leaving marks or the kids are afraid to be left alone with the grandmother try to only leave them with her if she's supervised.