Do all 5 year olds forget EVERYTHING?

Stacy - posted on 05/15/2011

My son just turned 6 and he is the same way. I make him repeat back what I just said sometimes as well . . . works at times. His hearing checks out but he says 'what?' a lot after answering his questions or asking him something. As though he heard me but wants me to repeat it. Broken record pretty much sums up what I feel like as well.

I wouldn't worry too much at this point . . . =0)

Rhawnie - posted on 05/15/2011

This is not limited to 5 year olds. My daughter is 7 and she is notorious for what I initially thought was "selective memory". I have come to realize that she forgets more than just the things I want/ask of her. Sometimes she forgets I told her she could do something she wanted. That was when I stopped getting as frustrated. I have began to practice memory exercises with her, the kind they use to check for Alzheimers. I asked her to remember three words (e.g. spoon, car, bus) and then hours later, I asked her to repeat them. She actually remembered! However, I have given her instructions and she forgets details. I am not worried at this point, but have decided to bring it up with her doctor at her next appointment. Like your little Angel, my Munchkin is a good little girl. She gets a little fussy when she wants something, but has improved soooo much over the past six months when she has to hear the word "no".

I have noticed occasionally I will talk to her and she will seem distant. I stopped talking, speak her name and get her to refocus, then continue. Even doing this sometimes does not get the desired results. She will still forget some or all of the conversation. I have heard "I don't remember that" more from my 7 year old daughter than I ever heard from my much older son. He was focused and attentive (at least until he hit his teens and learned how to blah blah through mommy's ranting). They are as different in personality as they are in gender.

I hope some of this helps. Best wishes to you and your little Angel.

Candyce - posted on 05/14/2011

I love Jenn's idea! I think I might implement it in my house too. For an added bonus, I'll add a simple printed word or two under the pictorial reminder since my kid's learning to associate spoken word with printed word. Thanks for the idea lady!

Jenn - posted on 05/14/2011

My four year old is also the same but the messed up thing is he will remember the most detailed things from like a year or two ago yet will forget what i said two minutes ago. The short term memory just isn't there. I would attribute it partly to not really listening and paying attention. He tends to agree and say yes even when he hasn't really heard what i have said. Why don't you try making a picture chart of the chores/routine for the day and break it up into sections to make it easier. Example:
*Morning routine- Get up, make bed, brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast...

*Afternoon routine: Pick up toys, eat lunch, play outside, eat dinner, put dishes in sink ...

*Before Bed: Have bath, gather school books for morning, put on pj's, tidy up toys, read story, lights out..

.Illustrate each chore or step with a simple picture..This helps them keep track and remember what they are supposed to do without being reminded..Just try to limit each section to about 5-8 tasks, and allow them to check off or flip over each picture as they do it. It is a great way to allow kids to practice some responsibility...You can even turn it into a kind of reward system if you want...This keeps you from repeating the same tasks over and over each day that must be done and helps them get used to the routine, soon it will come naturally to them:) Good luck:) If you are really concerned there is no harm in mentioning it to your pediatrician. He or she will probably we able to assure you that it is normal and probably even give you a reason as to why it is common for children that age..Give the chart a shot, it is worth a try!!

Candyce - posted on 05/13/2011

Their attention spans are still pretty limited at this point, so while they may remember something important to them, they might not readily remember something important to YOU. My son does this constantly! I'll tell him to do something and come back ten minutes later to find him playing on his camera or something. "What did I tell you to do?" "I don't know" "Remember" "Ummmmm..... *blank stare*" sigh

Tonya - posted on 05/13/2011

I say this is all too normal. My daughter hasn't remembered a thing I told her since birth. I call it selective listening. My son has it too. I don't think it has anything to do with intelligence or ADD. Both my children are very smart intellctually. Both started reading at a very early age. My daughter was reading full books, addind & subtractiong at age 3. In 1st grade she taught herself multiplication& division. so I don't think its an ADD thing, but I could be wrong on this. I know it's very frustrating. I tell my children on a daily basis to do things like pick up their toys, make their beds, brush your hair / teeth, etc. & still they don't do it. So i tried a new idea. For 3 or 4 weeks I had been telling my kids to clean their rooms. they know that if I clean their room something is getting tossed in the trash. this doesn't work. They don't care it seems. So... this time I took ALL of their toys, games etc. out of their rooms. all they have left is beds & clothes & a few books ( I couldn't take reading away, that's just wrong). They will not get anything back unless they can learn to listen to their father and me. I'l let you know how this works. In the mean time... good luck keeping your sanity during these trying times.

Jakki - posted on 05/13/2011

Hey it's funny you ask this because I have been really worried lately about my 6 year old's memory. She seems to not be able to recall anything she is told eg at school. She asks the same question over and over again - it drives us all crazy and I have to stop yelling at her (at the 10th time) WHAT DID I ANSWER LAST TIME YOU ASKED ME THAT QUESTION??

Anyway - I've finally plucked up the courage to get a referral to the school counsellor and hopefully we'll go to see a psychologist or educational person to tell me if there is really something weird going on.

PS I liked your comments Tamara and will try them. The trick is to stay patient and not start yelling!

Nicola - posted on 05/13/2011

doesn't this apply to husbands as well i don't think its limited to children.

Tamara - posted on 05/12/2011

I'm a mother of four, and yes, it can be a normal 'stage' for children around that age. I would suggest checking with your pediatrician, just to rule out something like ADD, but be careful, as I feel that doctors way over-use that label. (If your doctor does diagnose with ADD, definitely get at least a second opinion and then do all the online research you can before believing the label).



Assuming that's not the case, here are a couple of suggestions that might help:

*Keep your instructions to one task, rather than a list of things.

*Only give immediate directions, such as, "Can you please pick up your ball now," rather than asking her to do something in the future (e.g. after dinner).

*Make sure you have eye contact.

*Have her repeat what you said.

*If she says she doesn't remember, patiently repeat your instruction again, until she does. Make sure she maintains eye contact during the entire exchange.



I know it can be incredibly frustrating, but try not to let it bother you (easier said than done!). If you're patient and give it time, she will eventually get better at listening. After all, she isn't going to want to waste 10 minutes looking at you while repeating after you several times a day. She has better stuff to do!



Good luck :-)

Alice - posted on 05/12/2011

How ever you label iit, it is normal. I wouldn't spaz about it because it will only frustrate your child and make it unpleasant for both of you.

Jane - posted on 05/11/2011

They don't forget everything. They will remember forever the one time you let them stay up late to watch TV or where you keep your stash of Snickers bars. However, they don't remember simple requests. It has to do with hearing only what they are interested in.

Coady - posted on 05/11/2011

I have been asking her right after I tell her something to repeat it to me also, and she also says I dono right after I said it to her. It is sooo frustrating!! I hope it passes soon cuz I feel like a broken record! lol. Maybe I'll try making sure she repeats it a few times, ty both for the reassurance though, because there have been a few times I have thought to myself, "This cannot be normal.." & freaked myself out a little bit.

Dina - posted on 05/11/2011

I have a 5 (almost 6) year old as well and he is my first...and you are not alone, he remembers the strangest things, and forgets the simplest...I started asking him to repeat back what I said if I want him to do something and I think he will forget like (this is a typical conversation in our house):



Me "Kansas can you clean your toys after supper?"

Kansas says "Sure mom"

Me "Okay hunny so what are you going to do after supper?"

Kansas "I dunno"

Me " You mean you are going to clean up your toys, right?"

Kansas " Yes, thats right I will clean up my toys"



For some reason if he says what I want him to do back to me then he doesn't forget, but if I dont ask him it's like it went right over his head and i'm speaking a different language he doesn't understand haha



Hope this helps, if anything realzie you are not alone :)

Katherine - posted on 05/11/2011

Normal. My 5yo does the same thing.



**Edit to add: It's very frustrating at times, but this too shall pass :)