Do you reward your child for a good report card?

Candi - posted on 04/11/2011 ( 173 moms have responded )

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I'm trying to figure out if I should reward my child for her good grades on her report card. I was rewarded when I was in school, but I always got a new toy. To me, this seems like a bad idea, as she gets plenty of toys at Christmas and her birthday. My child is in Kindergarten and is top of her class, just like last year in pre-K. I feel that she needs to be rewarded for her hard work and great job. Do any of you reward your child? If so, how? Thanks!

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Randal - posted on 09/19/2013

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* You should not reward with money but "celebrate" the achievement by taking him or her out to his/her favorite pizza place that has video games after pizza or something like that.
* The best good grades celebrations show how proud you are of your kids. Your praise may be an excited, "Congratulations," a high five or a hug and kissfest. Praise can also come in the form of putting the report card on the refrigerator where everyone can see it. Or maybe you prefer to show your praise with a free printable certificate.
* Take a picture of him/her with his/her report card and frame it. These simple acts of praise will encourage him/her to keep doing his/her best in school.
* Be spontaneous: Kids who are aware of grade-incentives lose interest in the task twice as fast as those who didn't know a reward was coming. So have dinner out to celebrate a good report card or the completion of a tough project. But don't promise it in advance — and don't do it for every success.
* Praise effort, concentration, and hard work: Make a point of emphasizing (and celebrating) progress over absolutes: The child who pulls up a C to a B probably worked as hard, or harder, than the one who coasts to an A every time.
* Teach your children that their brains will get stronger and work better the more they use and challenge them — just like their muscles.
* De-emphasize grades: Students who focus on grades tend to lose interest in learning for education's sake. Instead, note your child's efficient use of her time, praise her careful preparation for a test, or commend her for putting all her work away when she finished it. Together these are all tasks that make her a better student. Help her see that while grades do still matter (for college admission, for example), it's education that will really fuel her long-term success.

Jane - posted on 04/12/2011

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My daughter never needed a material reward. All she wanted was for me to notice and congratulate her. However, she has wanted to be a doctor since she was 8 years old and is driven to make that goal. She is now at university as a pre-med.

My son is a different story. He sees no point in school, hates to do homework, and would rather do anything except the basic work required of him. I do sometimes promise him a reward for a specific goal. An example was if he did not fail any subjects I would get him a new video game. Typically he fails at least two, but finally this spring he passed everything with at least a C. If he brings every subject up to at least a B I will upgrade his computer so he can play some new games.

It depends a lot on the child and how they perceive school.

[deleted account]

hi candi,

i dont reward the kids with material things when they are in primary school but did treat them to a extra family day out their choice. but now my older kids are in secondary ( i think thats high school 13-16 yrs) they get cash for A's they work so hard at that level i feel its like their job, and when they do well they get their bonus. i think as long as you continue to support and encourage her, the way in which you chose to do that is unimportant, its the support and guidance you are giving her that really counts. keep up the good work.

Heather - posted on 09/23/2013

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My mom used a method that I passed on to my children. They get a small amount of money for As and Bs , nothing for Cs and they have to pay me if they get Ds of Fs.

Nancy - posted on 09/20/2013

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We reward for both progress reports and report cards. For the progress reports, we take the kids Baskin Robbins (for ice cream), only if the reports are good. For the report cards, we look at it as if school is their job, so therefore we give them money. We give $3.00 for every A, $2.00 for every B, $1.00 for every C. But we also subtract for bad grades. $1.00 for every D, and $2.00 for every F.

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Amy - posted on 11/11/2013

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Good grades and good behavior are expected in our house. I will not pay her for something that is expected. We do let her know that we are proud of her and she knows good grades are essential to her future. I mean really. What happened to just doing a good job for personal satisfaction? If we pay for things that are expected, then why not pay them every time they brush their teeth or eat their dinner?

JoAnna - posted on 11/08/2013

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My husband and I are very split on this... His Dad paid him and his siblings for every A they got on their report card. My parents did not pay my siblings or I anything for good grades. My husband now pays our kids for their As and I do not agree with it nor will I partake in it. I believe and expect my kids to do their best and earn good grades to the best of their abilities without being bribed. Only paying for or rewarding As sends the wrong message in my mind, and creates unnecessary rivalry between the kids when one can get As in math without even trying and the other works their butt off all quarter and brings home B. by only rewarding the A says that working hard for that B was not good enough. Not right in my eyes. And I don't want my kids to feel that the only reason to do well is so they can get paid, are we going to pay them all through college too?!
My husband and his 3 siblings were paid for their As through highschool, out of the three that have graduated none of them have a college degree, he's the only who actually went to college but never finished. In my family, we weren't paid for our grades and 3 out of the 4 kids went on to college and have degrees. My older brother is working in his Masters right now! So what does that tell you about paying for grades?!
I believe in rewarding the kids all together for their report cards, taking them out to eat or getting them a treat from the store. And letting them know how very proud we are of each of them.

Evelyn - posted on 01/12/2013

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The only reward a child needs is the acknowledgement that they have done will with treats every now and again. They should learn to feel proud of their accomplishments not expect to be given money or toys or whatever for the report card everytime. This does not send a good message to kids. THey will expect it all the time for everything that they do that is good. Money is especially not good. Someone here said they owed their child 280 bucks for grades...that is ridiculous and sends a poor message. If they think getting good grades is equal to money then they will expect it even after going to college....and I have seen kids growing up and when my own kids were in school that bragged that they got money for their grades....maybe you should see the one Little House episode where Nellie and Willie got rewards from their Ma for their grades and what happened when Laura and her sister Mary did. THen decide if rewarding for every single grade is a good idea.

User - posted on 10/06/2012

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If you want to reward her, take her out for ice cream or something with just the two of you. Tell her that you are proud of her. Do something that doesn't cost much, but that she will remember.

Maya - posted on 10/03/2012

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I will not give my daughter an impression nor promises that she will get something for her good grades at school but I will just buy her something she likes or take her to see a movie when she does good things at school and at home, just as a reward.

Barbara - posted on 08/02/2012

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Seriously, a dollar a day just to maintain decent behaviour? I don't think so! Good Lord, if we had done that, we'd be in the poor house! Good and right and correct behaviour should come naturally and everything else will fall into place. Depends on the circumstances whether or not to pay for grades. We did different things: allowed them the right to earn $$'s or a special treat of an outing of their choice, etc. Money is an easy way out. Don't always agree with that school of thought.

Edna - posted on 01/20/2012

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what about taking her out to her fav place or doing some activity with her that she'll enjoy.x

Expat - posted on 01/20/2012

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I don't reward my kids with "stuff, although I make a big deal of good grades and report cards. Two of mine have learning disabilities, so the grades haven't always been stellar; I tend to praise them for trying their best.

With my teen however, I use a great big carrot. He is very into his music, but he knows that it all goes away if his grades start slipping. Nothing can interfere with school work so he knows he needs to get his work done before he picks up that guitar. So far, it's working and he doesn't complain about the decision either.

Yasotha - posted on 01/15/2012

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i reward by using the star chart system. my gal collects star for good behaviour and a good job well. she trades them for an outing or at certain times for toy.

Wendy - posted on 05/16/2011

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I reward my daughter for a "good" report card- REGARDLESS of the marks/ grades. I base it on how hard she applied herself over the 9 week period. My parents gave my brother & me a specific amt of money for each A & slightly less for each B & nothing for any other grade- I disagree w/ this only b/c of this: I was one of those kids that things came to very easily. I studied no longer than 20 min per night- all A's & B's. My brother (2 yrs older) was the opposite- he studied SOOOO hard. sometimes ALL night- while I played, watched tv, slept, etc...(all C's $ D's)report card time I would be handed all this money & him- NOTHING. They would take me shopping to spend my money while he watched & got nothing. It was HORRIBLE. He was sad. I felt guilty-even tried to sneak $ to him he would say he just needed to work harder next time & refuse the $ I offered. HE deserved the $ NOT me. DEFINITELY reward the hard work NOT the marks. I do this differently based on life @ the time....I may take her on a special outing just the 2 of us. Might buy her an ice cream sundae. Always something different....

Sara - posted on 05/10/2011

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From the way you speak of your child and whats in your heart, I say follow your heart. You must keep hearing it in your spirit telling you to reward her for her good exceptional effort and in which way is a reasonable reward. It seems as if she does it all for you mommy:) So I just want to say congratulations with what your doing and your well thought of rewards to encourage her properly are working. Wherever you decide to take her, I just want to say dont forget your camera;) and enjoy every smile and moment you have of happiness with your child. Dont forget to reward yourself also, for a wonderful job you are doing with her. GOD BLESS and have fun.

Tamara - posted on 05/09/2011

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We reward our girls when they do well in school with both verbal praise and age appropriate toys or games. My youngest is in pre-k she loves to color and draw so when she does well we will get her a coloring book or crayons.

Jen - posted on 05/01/2011

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I reward my children; they get paid a set amount for B's, and A's. I dont' pay for C's or lower. Since I started doing that; all their grades have improved. Even the one who was doing poorly and didn't like school or think he could get better then C's or D's. He was getting B's last time the report cards came in.

Alesha - posted on 05/01/2011

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if my daughter brings a report card home with good grade I take her to do something. Go out get some ice cream, buy a little toy, take her to the park. This helps her alot when it comes down to taking test or homework. She actually wants to do it.

Edisol - posted on 05/01/2011

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Thanks OhJessie! It encourages me to continue what I have done. Some says I was just spoiling my kid with money and not teaching him how to save it. But each parent has their own opinions regarding reward & punishment system. As long as my husband supports me & my son keeps up his good grades, I will let my son enjoy his childhood with responsibility in handling his money. He's now saving money to buy me a birthday gift (at my own expense) but I'm still happy.

Melanie - posted on 05/01/2011

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My kids earn $1 a day for their behavior. This started out as glow in the dark stars that they earned but they are older now. They get the money earned at the end of the school year in one lump sum. This keeps them encouraged to behave, which in turn gives them a better chance to pay attention to their classes....I don't pressure grades. If I can tell that they are doing their best and still trying then the grades don't matter, they will be what they will. I praise their efforts and work with them when they have trouble understanding. At the end of the school year, I usually choke about the $$ I have committed to, but it is worth it to keep them encouraged.

OhJessie - posted on 05/01/2011

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FWIW I think Edisol's advice is best - give 'em a happy meal or pizza and a few bucks for a new toy. What can that hurt? Can't hurt much more than having your money confiscated and put away until you're 19 or 20.

Edisol - posted on 04/30/2011

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I reward my child with his good grades by giving him a small amount of money every time he got a perfect score in his quizzes. And then, I'll tell him to save the money he got to buy the toys he like. In that way, he learned to save money & also buy his toys through his hard work in his studies.

OhJessie - posted on 04/30/2011

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Heh; this is no help, really, but the first report card I got was straight As and my grandfather handed me a hundred dollars in singles. I had lots of fun counting them, but they were immediately put in the bank and I never saw them again until I was 19. Not so much as a gumball or a new toy. Sigh.

Latashia_prc - posted on 04/30/2011

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I think a reward is a great way 2 show ur child that u r pleased about his/her hard work. The reward can be simple ie lunch/dinner @ fav diner, gift certificate 2 fav store. Kids love parents approval..that want 2 make us happy. The incenitive gives the child more reason 2 do their best.

Felicia - posted on 04/29/2011

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I reward my kids for A's only $5 per A which has become expensive only at the end of the quarter, but in a world where kids have way more pressure to be grown by there peers this seems to be the one way to get my kids to keep there eyes in the books. The dad totally disagrees saying it is what they are suppose to do but every pay I reward myself so i can reward my kids as well!!!

Dawn - posted on 04/28/2011

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Just reward her for doing a good job in school. Grades are not everything. It is wether she learns or not. You should be proud of her regardless of grades. My children have to get at least 70 percent on there tests because then I know they have tried.

B.SRIDURGA - posted on 04/28/2011

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miss candie,yes i think u r daugter deserve a reward when she is good in her report card.and gift no need to be only the toys ,u can reward her through takeing her out or a vacation from tht also without knowing she can learn something like the history of the place

Sebugwawo - posted on 04/27/2011

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Well I do but i always ask for their opinion. They tell me what they want and I buy it for them

Joy - posted on 04/26/2011

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I buy toys often enough. Both of my kids are on the honor roll a lot but the pre-decided reward for such things would be maybe a play or something like that. Good grades is their major responsibiliity but being on the honor roll is a plus. It deserves more than just a toy and is an incentive to keep up the good work.

Michelle - posted on 04/26/2011

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I read about an idea where you reward with money. Say a quarter at her age. Then you use the reward to teach about being responsible with money. As she grows, you can increase the monetary rewards and she will learn about saving and spending and my guess is if you do it right, she will have more success as an adult in managing her money.

Kelli - posted on 04/26/2011

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During the school year when they do well on tests, I give lots of praises and sometimes I will jump up and down and we all get excited and laugh. They feel really good about it. They only get something at the end of the year when they pass their grade.

Nikki - posted on 04/26/2011

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I let mine pick their favorite meal for dinner. They can even help prepare it. We have some of the strangest combinations but o well. You have to make a meal anyway so why not let them choose it when they do good.

Constance - posted on 04/25/2011

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I do reward all of my children for good grades,but I do it with something special that we can't do eveyday. like going to the zoo, the mountains, bowling, go carts...... I think that has a bigger impact than a toy. I do reward my oldest with itune cards because it one of the only things she likes other than animals. So this time she is on dean's list for the third time in a row so she is being surprised by going horseback riding.

Laura - posted on 04/25/2011

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Krispy Kreme gives out free doughnuts for every A (up to six)! My son begs to go to KK to get doughnuts when he gets his straight A report card! I always got $5 for every A, we have given money as well. He has always gotten straight A's, so why not reward them for their hard work?

[deleted account]

The best reward for a child is to hear how proud of them you are. I think a reward of material origin just makes kids want more. Pride and love are enough rewards and the grade itself is a reward.

Louise - posted on 04/25/2011

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Why wouldn't you reward her. I mean why would she bother putting in the effort to get the good grades if she's treated the same no matter what grades she gets. We have a kids adventure land near us. It's 5 euro to get in and they get an hour and a half. My kids adore it and it's their treat for doing well.

Dianne - posted on 04/25/2011

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hi candi...it is a gr8 idea and we always reward our kids when dey do well in school....my kids are both A students and i do agree dat a toy is a bad idea as reward..wat we do is take dem out to special places and do new things with dem like to beaches theme parks ect!!!!

Vicky - posted on 04/25/2011

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My youngest came home with 54 4's (when we were in school that would be an A) and I gave her a dime for every one. She got 5.40 and she used it to help homeless people so I think rewarding them is good and if they pay it forward, even better

User - posted on 04/25/2011

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I think a monetary reward based on grades is a great idea. They get to learn that if they work hard and do well, then they will get a nice little reward for it. They have to put in the effort and hard work upfront, so it works well. I don't like the idea of giving more toys etc simply because as you said they get birthday and Christmas gifts.

Marcie - posted on 04/25/2011

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I reward my son & it works well , remember the report cards only come 3-4 times per year - it doesn't have to be a toy. It could be going to the aquarium, zoo, park, play date sleep over with a friend,etc.. there are lots of positive reinforcement rewards that do not have to be toys. Positive reinforcement pays off, with kids & animals - I train animals & believe me you get way farther training w/ positive reinforcement then negative.

Marcelle - posted on 04/25/2011

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No. To me the reward for doing well with her school work is allowing her to work with more independence both in her school work and other hobbies. Of course, she gets congratulated and made a fuss of for a bit.

Julee - posted on 04/25/2011

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I have 5 grown children and a 12 year old.I think of course you should reward her. Most kids respone well to encourgement and rewards. It gives them something to strive for.They have to be encourged and praised all the way.

Mandy - posted on 04/24/2011

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Reward her with something special that she would like. I reward Nate, my six year old, with a fun day at Chuck E Cheese's or a day at the park... something fun where he can have a good time and expand his energy at the same time :)

Patty - posted on 04/24/2011

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My kids are now in grade 6 and we don't reward good marks...the good marks are the reward itself! Course now they know what that means. In Kindergarten marks really don't mean much, they are not based on tests or projects like as they get older. Just tell her that her marks are good and that she should be proud of herself! That will set up her up to know that you are acknowledging her hard work, and that the marks are the reward, not some materialistic reward for them. I feel it's the hard work and improvement you need to stress, after all as they get older some kids will naturally have a harder time in certain subjects than others, so to me improving or working hard for a B is more important than getting an A in a subject that is easier for that child.

Theresa - posted on 04/24/2011

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We reward our children with a family dinner out. It gives us a great opportunity to talk about their grades and the comments from their teachers.

Stacey - posted on 04/24/2011

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I've just got ahold of a book called loving your children on purpose by Danny silk. Very excellent book. You could find it at www.koorong.com wish you all the best

Kristie - posted on 04/24/2011

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I think good grades should be rewarded! I would use quality time as the reward, an outing with Dad, Mum or the family. Let her choose the reward, it maybe the movies, a picnic in the park or a play date with a friend.

Kristin - posted on 04/24/2011

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Yes, I always reward my daughter. She has been all A student. So why not reward them for good grades.

Karyn - posted on 04/24/2011

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I have a huge problem with this theory. I was thinking about it when someone at work said he gives his 10 yr old $$ for good grades. At some point kids need to learn to have a work ethic b/c it is what needs to be done,and sometimes the rewards are LONG TERM not immediate. You can't tell me that you ALWAYS get a raise or bonus at work for a good job. We are doing this generation a great disservice with all this mollycoddling. When they get out in the real world, they will not know how to cope with the expectation employers and spouses have for hard work for hardwork's sake. They will be crestfallen that they are not as "wonderful" as mommy thinks. Why isn't pride in your child good enough? Why must the reward always be material??

Danielle - posted on 04/24/2011

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Yes it's ok to reward her. But best not to do it with things. Reward her with praise and maybe her favorite meal or dessert. If you start giving her toys every time she does something good, she will come to expect it all the time and may become spoiled.

Janene - posted on 04/24/2011

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Hi Candi, I do reward my child as it inspires them to higher heights. We decide on a overall grade and if she gets it she gets something useful for school like a watch, a nice backpack,etc. No toys as these are for birthdays and Christmas, as you said.

Heather - posted on 04/23/2011

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i forgot to mention in my post that we take the kids to dairy queen for ice cream on the last day of school. my mother started to do this when i started school and we have continued that tradition and we always have family members join us and have fun.

Heather - posted on 04/23/2011

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hey candi, i dont reward any of my kids for a good report card. my 3rd grader which is my oldest, she gets a breakfast with us at school that the principle puts on for all 3 through 5th graders with As and Bs. i feel that her seeing her report card and knowing you are proud and praising her with kind words and yourlove is reward enough. i also let my kids know that if they do good in school they get to keep doing their afterschool activities with 4h.

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