Does anyone have a behaviour chart you can recommend?
Debbie - posted on 03/29/2013
I found as a mother that I made the job of charting a process for me! I also found that when I tell them I will take something away, like a toy or bed( as some will do to teach that the bed should be taken care of in the room) that I have to mean what I say and because those things cost my hard earned dollar, I find I am forced NOT to do what I said I would do. I have learned that I need a program that helps me as a mother mean what I say so children know I don't "lie." Children will ALWAYS force the issue to test the waters. The best program I found is called the happy face token system. It helps me mean what I say by using tokens the children collect and lose for non-compliance. It seems to come with a built-in consistency factor that is made just for mom. It adapts to all my mood issues and stressors but allows the children to earn tokens for all kinds of good and healthy behavior. I call it the ulitmate parenting surivival manual and it comes with a survival kit CD with all the print ready charts that are amazingly effective for ME to use. The children love the happy face token system so much that you will soon be called the best mom in the world and they are giving happy, first-time compliance. It is remarkably simple and easy to use plus it is adaptable to various ages K4-12 without having to use more than one chart with all the children combined. It was the only kind of reward system we used for years in our home. I would highly recommend it. There is a review on the book From Combat Zone to Love at Home: The Happy Face Token System at the following address.
Debbie - posted on 03/29/2013
I know of one that is the best I've ever seen. We started using it with our defiant, strong-willed 10 year-old. It is taken from a book called From Combat Zone to Love at Home-The title says it all for the way our home was becoming! It is about finding ways that children respond to requests of any kind with happy, first-time compliance. Believe me when I tell you it worked like a charm! It is counter-intuitive in that it is uniquely different than the way most charts work. This happy face token system, as described in the book helps parents define the areas of interest to the child, then sets up a reward list that allows them to cash tokens, earned by happy, first-time obedience or good behavior or action that promotes family unity or self-improvement skills. Children love this list so much that nearly anything you ask, is done at your command. We found this program to be so adaptable to the needs of the parent that I say it comes with a built-in consistency factor. Within two weeks our strong-willed children were complying with our wishes and telling us we were the best parent's in the world! We used this program for over 10 years in our home. It is found at this address: http://thebestrewardlist.com
Cecilia - posted on 12/29/2012
They have charts for everything. Yes they are blank, you need to come up with the behaviors you're trying to adjust.
When you do charts, when so many are filled in you give a reward. For things older kids once they fill in the chart they get the reward. Say do "homework done before 8pm" is on the list- if they sit down and do it and fill up all 10 slots, they get what ever reward is discussed for that.This can be money, a free chore day, or anything you might want to hand out.
Sometimes you need to adjust it and not wait for it to be filled out. If you Random acts of kindness to the family, 2 times in a week will get rewarded.
The charts i sent you have point values. You can always say at 50 points you get rewarded.
Asking them what type of reward they want makes them motivated to do it. Not all kids want money for chores. If they do a week strait of their chores maybe give them a coupon for them to hand off in exchange of a chore they don't like doing. For my son, he hates dishes, he will always use that coupon for that day. My daughter likes her coupons for unquestioned mommy time. At any time she can hand me the coupon and i have to drop what i'm doing to spend time with her.
Oh with older children, make sure an adult is in charge of the chart or some sneaky kids will just add in stuff that doesn't belong there.
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