does anyone on here have kids that aren't babies anymore?

Angelina - posted on 03/15/2010 ( 62 moms have responded )

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i had a child young. so my daughter is 11. i am 27. all the mom's on here have lil babies. i have more serious ?'s to ask then the one's i see. like how do you handle your daughter and boys? what will you do when they say they are ready to have sex? how do you help them with peer pressure? how do you help them stay confident? .........i love all my friends....and respect all the tips and advise that i get....but id like to hear from moms that have experience.

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Amber - posted on 03/17/2010

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hi!!

Great question!!

11 is the perfect age to start talking to your daugther about the more serious events in our lives. ( A psychologist actually told me antwhere between 9- 15 is good ) Becoming a teenager/adult is a very sentitive and intense time in our lives.Talking about puberty, peer pressure, body image and sex can be confusing, exciting and sometimes embarassing.

I think the best tactic ( one which I am currently using and will continue as my 6 year old turns into a 16 year old) is to schedule talk time. I have one night each week ( saturday nights) where we sit and chat. We do mini makeovers, put on a movie, and pop some popcorn. She then gets to talk to me about all the "serious stuff" she's been feeling or wondering about. Dad is instructed to vacate the room ( a.k.a. going out to the garage or visiting a neighbor) and we are un-interupted. She's only 6, so the most I've heard from her is that she thought a younger boy was cute.. but, as she gets older, she'll start to really value that time,and use it wisely to address more serious talks like periods, using deodorant, breast growth ( that's important, they all want boobs NOW). I have of course told her that if she does need to talk at other times, that's open as well..but this time on those nights is definately a keeper and invitation for the " serious stuff"

You can also value the time as well by sharing some of your own personal stories with her, if you can remember being 11, and 12. She'll value the " it's normal" stories and feel much more comfortable. Start with mild topics and work your way up. Talk about taking showers, putting on makeup and perfume, using deodorant, getting your period and etc. Take a moment to ask her what she thinks first.. find out how she feels, what she wants, what she thinks.. etc.

You can pick up a book about sensitive issues ( puberty, sex for pre-teens..) just about anywhere and there are tons to choose from. Pick up an appropriate one for her,and one for you ( a guide on how to talk to her about this) and remain open, honest and positive.

Also, just ask her if she has any questions, let her guide the conversation as best you can.

Try not to judge her or correct her thoughts. Be informative and don't try to hide things . If she is too young, explain something as best you can ( appropriately) and then tell her that it's best she wait to find out about that when she's a little older.

Talking about pregnancy is a MUST at this point ( anywhere between 11- 15)..If they know the facts now, they are less likely to be in a rush to experience sex and want babies. * Make sure you tell her how painful and serious it is! *

Over the next couple years, she'll learn she can talk to you about anything if you remain open and honest,and help provide her with the answers she needs. Wether they come from a book, or your personal talk time, this is the most valuable time in your lives together.

Enjoy it, and embrace it :)

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Pamela - posted on 03/21/2010

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you can add me if you like i have a 19 girl, 12 girl, 8 boy i can help as much as possible.

Christy - posted on 03/20/2010

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Angelina
I have 3 kids 12, 9, and 6. My oldest is a girl and we are going through the sex talk right now to. I think it is the age and the body change. They are going through so much at his age. I am only 32. It is really overwhelming for me when she comes home aksing about oral sex or asking what does fingering mean. We had to sit down with her and just be very open and honest with her. We first asked her what she heard or thought and then had to explain some things because what she had learned at school from others is not correct. Like some of the other women are saying you need to be open and honest with her so that she will talk and be honest with you at all times. I do remeber my mom not talking to me and i did have a baby younger than i had planned. I really hope this helps. You are not alone.

Brooke - posted on 03/20/2010

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I have five kids.....ages 10, 9, 7, 6 and 6. My oldest is a girl and I feel the same way. I don't know what to do when my daughter really starts thinking about boys. Her dad acts dumb and says he is just going to tie her legs together, but I want real answers to the problems I know will be coming up.

Sandy - posted on 03/20/2010

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i have a 6 y.o and an 8 y.o... but i'm not up to where you are yet... not ready for that =)

Daryn - posted on 03/20/2010

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I have a 10 yr old boy....had mine at 20...not sure if that i will help u, but i can try

Lisa - posted on 03/20/2010

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hi, i had my son when i was 19, im 37 now and hes 18. its harder when they are older and you try to work out what your parents did when you was going through that age. I always went with my gut instinct, make sure you have a relationship with them that they can come to you about anything at all, i have with my son and hes grown up into a responsible adult with help and guidence, the best thing you can do is listen and dont judge or interfere because they will come to you when they are ready to tell you things, push them and they dig their heels in.

Charlotte - posted on 03/20/2010

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Hi I have three kids. My daughter is 12, my son is 10, my youngest son is 4. My daughter is already asking about sex, what I've done is sit down with her and explain the basics of what boys are really like and what to watch for, I want to prepare her for when a boy actully asks her to do it. I've told her she CAN NOT have sex till she is 18. We have also read through the magazines that are related to girls her age, if she has a question about something she is reading I walk her through it. You can add me to your circle if you want.

Tammy - posted on 03/19/2010

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Well my oldest is 7 so we're a long way from the sex conversation...but we are a Christian family so we do our best to bring our children up with moral values...like no sex til marriage.

Leonora - posted on 03/19/2010

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I am 31 & a mom of 4! A 13, soon 2b 14 one soon 2b 12, one about 2b 10 & a 7 year old. Everyday i speak on confidence, loyalty to themselves, respect for themselved & others also to wait for marriage b4 having sex or kids. I give them aspects on how hard it was for me & then with one I scare him with real life factors! Like what std's looks like, being a teen parent & all that good stuff! Any time you have a question just stop & ask! Good luck

Karen - posted on 03/19/2010

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I have a 16 year old boy - had him when I was 21. I also have a 12 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. So far, my oldest does not have a girlfriend, but I work a lot and face the concern that (although he is a good kid) kids face temptation when left alone alot. He and I have a fairly open and honest relationship. I am more concerned about when my daughter gets older. She is already so into how she looks...

Randee - posted on 03/19/2010

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My 2 oldest daughters are 12,11. Dealing with boys has just came up. My girls went to lamaz with me when I was preg with my youngest daughter, they got to see the videos and what it looked like to have a baby need less to say they both want to go to college and be really old (30) before they have kids.

Adele - posted on 03/19/2010

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hi im adele age 29 have three girls age 10 4 and 9mth my oldest is 10 but a lot older than age hun i dont know the answers to questions bout sex etc either love finding it hard dealing with puberty never mind sex especially when shes only 10 and confused how do you explain puberty when dont want to mention sex etc to a ten year old ? its hard been a mum and knowing hwer to get advice sumtimes hun

Brandi - posted on 03/19/2010

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Hello I have a 16, 7 and 8 yr old. I had my 16 when I was 19. mine are girls. Can't answer the one about when they come to you about they ready for sex. I don't think I will ever be ready for that one. But listen to what they have to say and figure out why it is they think they are ready.Peer pressure is easy. Tell them when some one tries to peer pressure them have them ask to them self "what will my mom think and react when she finds out". Self confident ..... everyday find 3 positive things about them and complement them on the good every day. They are just use to hearing the negative.

Juliet - posted on 03/19/2010

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Hi Angelina, I am 26 and have a 9 year old. I dunno if I would be able to help with anything but..

Joye - posted on 03/19/2010

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i joined to see grandchildren. I have 1 grown 2 graduating high school and another starting high school. Simple solution, if you can get away with it, don' t allow her to have boy friends. She is only 11, if she refers to a male friend as a boyfriend it puts her in an older class of children. She is still a child. We have not let any of ours date til they are at least 16 but prefer 18. So far no rebellion, and they focus on their education in high school, not the big social activities. I would be happy to visit with you on this.

Julia - posted on 03/19/2010

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Sure, I'd love to be in your circle. Responding to someone's comment that it's good to have one night a week for one-on-one time - that's a great idea, and it's good to establish it early, so they are comfortable talking about personal things with you before they get all hormonal and sensitive. With 2 girls I find it difficult to have whole evening to ourselves, but at least once a quarter (wish it were more often) I do a special one on one outing with each girl (doesn't have to be costly - they love hiking along a river). And last year when the older one turned 9, I started letting her stay up 30 minutes later than her sister. While I put her sister to bed she does her silent reading and then when I come downstairs, I join her on the couch and we read (and talk) together. Snuggled up on a couch sharing a blanket and a book just seems like a natural time to talk about the day and any frustrations which she didn't want to bring up at the dinner table. I also love her idea of adding your own frustrations you remember as a kid to the conversation. I will try that.

Dawn - posted on 03/19/2010

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I understand. My oldest is 13 next month and I am 28! most of my friends have children but they are mostly babies. My husband and I have to figure things out on our own for the most part. any specific questions that you have I would be glad to share my opinion and experiences with you. My daughter is not a lot older than yours it would be nice to share experiences.

Anna - posted on 03/19/2010

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H! i have 12 year old daughter and almost 6yr. old son. for a long time boys were gross and worthless but recently since her best friend started going out with somebody everything changed. obviously there is a self image issue, how do I look, do i smell good? , am I fat? why did I have to inherit my dad's ugly knees, etc.. She is daddy's girl but comes to me for her body changing and boys questions. i try to answer the best i can and don't make a big deal out of it, just talk like to another women with a bit of a caution of what i say:) try to build her confidence, try to help her out with issues at school or betweeen her and her friends. My daughter loves to read so I did buy her a few books for a girls her age. i did go through them before giving it to her because some books are good and some aren't . A few times she will come to me and ask the question, go to the book and come back to me again if there is something she doesn't get it. i think that books are a great answer for some moms because kids don't always take what you say seriously . let me know what you do ?

Christine - posted on 03/19/2010

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I don't know if I'll be able to help you or not but I have two boys and one of them is also 11 just like your daughter. As he is my first child I will be going through the same stages in his life. Up to this point I have tried to have open and honest communication with him. My husband and I also have spent alot of time with both our boys (the other one is 5) about having respect for all people around them regardless of age.

Julia - posted on 03/19/2010

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Hello, I have 7 yr old and 10 yr old girls and a 19 yr old son. I am about to have a modified birds and bees talk with my 10 yr old. We are about to attend the baby shower for an 18 yr old unwed relative and thought this would be a good conversation starter, since she's asked me about her not being married. I plan to focus on self esteem and self respect and that sex is for marriage and that the main reason some girls decide to try it before marriage is that they don't respect themselves enough to place boundaries on their bodies. If you respect yourself, others will, too. I like the idea Tammi had of establishing an "anything goes" session where she knows she can say or ask anything and not get in trouble.

Layla - posted on 03/18/2010

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Hi! I'm a mom of 2. 10 year-old boy and a 6 year old girl. I am a working mother and don't always have the great opportunities to talk that some other moms do. My uncomfortable conversations usually occur while eating or driving. My son isn't too interested in girls but sex sometimes does come up.

Evelyn - posted on 03/18/2010

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Here is something about as close as you can get without specific questions.

Giving birth to a child is a miracle. You will never love anyone, except a grandchild, or children of friends and spouses as much as you do this child. It is the most rewarding, hardest, frustrating and etc...job anyone will EVER have. Stick close, be close, be parent first and make sure to talk to them when they ask questions. Do not ever be too embarrassed or afraid to interfere in your children lives. While they grow, and all the times they say "I hate you, or something just as bad, you know your doing a good job. While pregnant and raising children, be sure to have a huge support system in place, for you and the children. Encourage your children to speak to those you trust about issues they may not feel they may speak to you about. Stay one step ahead of them at all times. Get to know their friends well and you shall be rewarded in many ways and this is truly important. Know your children, and I mean know them well, stick close, punish as needed, love at all times, spend much quality time with them at all ages, teach them respect, teach them to be independent and how to clean, laundry so if anything happens, they and you know you can count on their love and respect to help out when needed. Stick to punishments. While children grow from infants up, do not smack on hands or other, this teaches them to hit, bite and etc...it's a battle of wills. Do not cater to them at any age, set your rules and the consequences. Make this clear at a young age and stick to it, and remember the same rules apply to all no matter ages or sex. NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER, SHOW PARTIALITY TO ANY CHILD. If you scold your child, another words if pointing out faults at any age, make sure you build their confidence in the same breath and always, everyday and many times let them know you love them no matter what. Be a family at mealtime and other times. Make the children earn their allowances or money by doing chores or work around the house and outside. Be involved with their schooling, homework and most of all and I have seen many parents fail here, no offense anyone, let them know you will stand and fight for them anytime, anywhere with anyone. Teach them to have loving and giving hearts, forgiving nature, praise, self esteem, pride, respect, failure and at the same time nothing wrong with it and show them how to pick and choose their battles in life. Always support them whether wrong or right. Ask them questions, like what do they feel is fair punishment for a wrong as older. Make sure they know the options they have and choices available in any given situation. When they grow and get smart enough, do not let them play you against each other, stand firm together as parents, remember when they get to be manipulative, sneaky and think they are smarter than us and will not get caught, tell them they pull nothing we did not and be sure when punishing or when telling them Not to do something, you have to get VERY SPECIFIC!!! EX. Mom you told me I could not pinch my sister, I did not pinch her I kicked her!!! Ya, we all know about this one. Let them know when fears are felt it is common, stand up for what they believe in, do not be prejudicial and do not judge, stand up for the underdogs, do not be a follower be a leader, humbleness, loyalty to one another, trust, gestures of kindness which are meant and not expect anything in return, unconditional love in all relationships. To say no to any type peer pressure. While growing up, never ever let your child go anywhere without meeting the parents, knowing where they live and beliefs. What their rules are for their children, where they going and doing, all phone numbers and if you do not feel good environment for your child, invite that child to your own home.That they can do anything they put their minds to do, show by example not just words. Another words, do not be a hypocrite, by telling them they cannot do something, while you are doing it, unless it is against the law. Teach them about sacrifice and how it works, makes them appreciate things they have and get much more. Let them become individuals as growing and let them speak their minds and opinions with appropriate words and tones. Do not spoil them by giving them everything they want, eventually this leads to a life where they expect this and they outlive their means while we do the sacrificing. Manners are a big thing to learn and have. When they are old enough in their minds to have a child and they do, they need to take care of them, help with housework, work, contribute to household expenses, find and pay babysitters and do not get me wrong, yes love and help them, but make them self reliant. This way they know and you do too they can make it in the outside world and depend on themselves. Most of all, love, hold and hold on for the biggest adventure of your life!!! It's a ride you will never forget, good and bad and sometimes very ugly. Other times will be the memories you definitely not only want to write in a journal and keep on them, take all kinds of pics that can and will embarrass them so that when they grow up you can show others, hehe, especially when they have their own, and say I remember when...and break out that book for blackmail!!! LOL!!! I really wish circumstances would have allowed me more children, I love all kids all ages with my whole being and want to protect them, and it gets on their nerves, but, at least I am here and they know it. While they grow, make sure you and you teach each child to have "me" time, this is very important. Reading, social and emotional skills are very important in life and it is so true, knowledge is power. Teach them to defend themselves against others and the world by knowledge and if they have absolutely no other choice, come out fighting. Teach them of life and death, religion if in your life and once they are older and able the church or beliefs are their own, do not force yours on them or theirs on others. When times get downright hard, unbearable then take a step back, sit down, breathe and think about the situation, then approach with multiple solutions, talk with them, get their input and help decide on a compromise and solution together. The hardest part is as they do get older, we have to let them learn a lot by their own mistakes and allow them to make them. We have to let go and we cannot protect them 24/7, this is the hardest part of all. Remember they are a gift and the choices we make for them as they grow will reflect on the person they become.

Evelyn - posted on 03/18/2010

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Hello! I can help if you need! My kids are 24 21 and 18! Both sexes, so what do you really want to know?

Jennifer - posted on 03/18/2010

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Hi! I have two step-sons, they are 15 and 19, but I have been in their life for ten years. The teenage years are very very rough. When my stepsons talked about sex, I told about all the precautions but I also let them know that I did not approve of it. You have to make sure they feel comfortable talking to you about this stuff, and not like when they come to you they will get punished. It is extremely hard to sit through but they have to have you there to talk to. Good Luck!

Tammi - posted on 03/18/2010

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Hi Angelina! I have four children 19 to 7, two girls, bookends. One of the best things I did (and I did alot wrong first & still do) was establish and anything goes time with my oldest daughter. She had entered into a tough time and our communication was poor--I'm sure she felt that I was out of touch. We started walking when she was 16-just the two of us. The rules were that she could say ANYTHING she wanted in whatever language she chose with no advice, accusations, judgements (of her or her friends if she shared details about them) UNLESS she asked. It was the best thing I ever did. At first she didn't say much, then tested me. I asked lots of questions instead of giving answers. Now we talk freely about the most intimate subjects, we established trust and respect. I am still Mom and my opinion reflects that. I also gained a great understanding about her and the challenges that she faced at the difficult time. I plan on doing this again with my youngest but will start earlier. Maybe 10? Yeah, double digits sounds like a good landmark age.

Kelly Louise - posted on 03/18/2010

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Hey Angelina... i have three kids, 13 8 and 6.... all boys so i am sorry can't help you with girl but mind you have a step daughter ... as for the question when are they ready or want to have sex... sit them down... talk to them.. ask them if they have any questions... go through the safe sex talk or maybe go to your local community health centre and they might have some ways for you to talk to your kids... just be there for them... peer pressure is a hard one but again just be there for them, and same for the confident matter... make them feel special and i am sure you do.. but go that little bit ferther.. you are doing a great job now and you have to be proud in what you have raised a great special little girl. today is not the easist place to bring kids... chin up kelbel

Lataja - posted on 03/18/2010

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I thought I was the only one. I have all girls within the age range of 13, 11, and 5 year old. With the girls I have expressed to them that when they are older, around 15 or 16, they can date and/or go out with boys. Boys are not permitted to call the house, although they may come over with supervision. My older girls have also had their periods, so when this happened I gave them a in-depth talk about sex. As far as peer pressure and staying confident within themselves, this is a daily reminder. Just remember when you were growing up, how you felt. Remember to consistently be honest with them. You don't want them getting information from the street, which is nine times out of ten wrong. Good Luck!

Priscilla - posted on 03/18/2010

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Angelina, I have 3 girls 9, 13 & 26. I am 45. As you can tell by the ages, I started young and ended later in life. Things will be different with each child but, trust your motherly instincts. We never give them enough credit. Your instincts will tell you when it's time to talk about any subject if your paying attention. The most important thing is to always keep the lines of communication open. If you are embarraesed they will be too. I LEARNED THAT WITH MY OLDEST.....POOR THING! If you are open honest with them about boys, sex, drugs, clothes, etc., they will be honest too. You will not alway agree, that's a gimme, but you are the mom and somethimes you will have to play the authority card. You need to be alright with that as well. Learn to be their best buddy but know when to be their mom! It is a difficult balance but it can be done. Good luck and God bless.

DeltaDawn - posted on 03/18/2010

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Yes I have 3 kids and they are all teenagers.My oldest son is 17,my middle son is 16,and my daughter just turned 15.Just rememember to be their friend first then their mother because if you are their friend first then they will trust you then when it is time for consequeneces be the friend but also be the firm and consitant parent and they will trust you know matter what.

Amy - posted on 03/18/2010

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Angelina,
I also had kids very young. I am only 31 and have 5 boys. My oldest just turned 15 (born 6 days after I turned 16). My youngest is 2 1/2 years. The others are 13, 11, and 9. I am very open about everything and I hope my kids know they can talk to me about anything if they have questions. I have not yet had to directly answer any specific questions about anything, but I always talk openly to all of them. We always have conversations about things. The only child that seems to be interested in girls is my 11yr old. He has a "girlfriend", but he is does school from home and she does as well. Their relationship is basically texting and talking on the phone. They have only met one time and that was at a party the school threw before school started. The girl happened to be the daughter of my oldest sons Social Studies teacher from last year. All my kids (except the baby) will be in bricks and mortar public school next year, so I am sure I will have to deal with alot of these issues soon. I hope I can be more helpful after I have to deal with these issues more.

[deleted account]

I also had my girls young they are 10 and 12 and I am 32. We have yet to experience any BOY issues other than teasing... but I have some advise on some of the other issues. I think most of your questions can be answered by giving your daughter a great rolemodel and helping to build her self esteem while she is young, You can do this by not just telling her that she's beautiful and can be anything she wants to be, but by spending time with her and letting her know SHE IS WORTH IT. Don't try to be her friend, this is a bad Idea. You are her Mom. Mom's can be cool moms by being there and talking to your child about everything while she is young this allows you to build a great relationship now that will help you both in the future. Feeling good about yourself goes a long way. This will help her deal with peer pressure. She will know that you care what she does and that you will be hurt by her actions as much as she will.
I hope this helps and that it didn't come off too much like I'm preaching.

KELLIE - posted on 03/18/2010

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hi, My eldest is 10 yr old boy, and he is along way advanced than I remember being, so I keep my ear to the ground and I am open. I have explain their body and it functions sexually (something I never received from my mum. old school stuff) and I've told him that he is not legally allowed to do anything till he is 16. (hopefully older) and I believe that it's important that you open your house to their friends.( no matter if you like them or not - their friendships are their lesson to learn. not ours.) That way they want to be at home. My girlfriend has done that with her teenage girl and she is open and honest and all her friends love coming over, so you know what they are doing. and also the rules..no closed door... good grades = boyfriend..low grades = study...
my conclusion is that we have to be many different facuats with our children, and we don't always get it right.. but we never give up trying...
take care

Samantha - posted on 03/18/2010

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hi i have 2 kids a boy and a girl and they arent babies anymore just hitting the hormones stage...

Melanie - posted on 03/17/2010

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Hi Angelina I have 4 children 17, 12,10 yr old boys and my daughter just turned 15. The only thing I could suggest is answer her questions to the best of your ablity be truthful and tell her everyday how much you love her and how proud of her you are because the confidence she gets from you will speak volumes. I also gave my daughter the book "All About Me" which helped soooo much she read it at 12 and had a ton of questions it was a good way to open up that communication. Teach to be a leader not a follower and if something doesn't feel right she doesn't have to do it. My daughter and I have a code if she is with a friend and doesn't feel comfortable she will text me and I will go and get her it works well because they"the friends" don't think shes uncool just mom is. About the sex topic just teach her to respect and love herself first. Your gonna do just fine:)

Karen Sue - posted on 03/17/2010

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I have a daughter who will be 8 next week and a 16 1/2 week old infant. I am 34. I guess I don't have much to offer by way of advice since my firstborn is younger than yours... but I will be going through a lot of those questions and anxieties with her soon enough. Right now, she is in counseling because she has some serious anger issues (she has kicked 3 holes in her bedroom wall in the past year)... so it is nice to get advice from people with older kids too!

Debbie - posted on 03/17/2010

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I have 2 children my oldest a girl will be 13 in July and my son just turned 7. I haven't had to deal with the boys thing yet because to her boys are still Gross.. as for sex.. like anothet mom said just take it one day at a time and have a carefully worded sex talk with your daughter and re assure her that she can talk to you about anything. I was 13 when my niece was born and saw the whole boy and sex thing play out, she talked to me more then her own mother but still got pregnant at a very young age, she is now 26 and a mother of 2. If I can help you in any way please feel free to ask away, I will do my best to help.

Brandi - posted on 03/17/2010

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well i have 4 year old but to answer your ? think about when you were her age did you like boys if so tell her boys come and go but you only have one special time for sex and it should be special and something wprth remebering. as for as peer pressure just tell her its just middle school doing something your friends want you do is stupid because i bet you two to one they arent doing it them selves. so just ask her is she being pressurred into doing something that might for the rest of her life and if so then tell her its probaly not a good idea

Karen - posted on 03/17/2010

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i have 3 girls my oldest is 13 then my middle one is about to be 8 and i have a three year it all is a challenge but if you have any other question i might can help you can add me to your circle i am still new on here

Tara - posted on 03/17/2010

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I have a 16 year old daughter and a 9 yr. old daughter. What do you need to know. Maybe I can help?

Julie - posted on 03/17/2010

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aww. i dont have babies, my kids are 7, 10, and a new 14yr old.
i remember when my son was 12. he had a gf that was 11. i went everywhere with them. i always tell my sons to respect girls, no matter what. to seek them as friends because they are young.
i have all boys. i never got the gurl. but last year i became a host parent to a 17yr old from norway. she was very pretty blonde hair blue eyes and thin. soon after 2 months in an american hs, she was the star of the track team, and i was more like a car valet than her host mom. she would hang with friends more than with us. except when we ould say we are going out on the boat, she would join, but then we moved to kansas in jan this year, and she wanted to stay in the hs i had her in. she developed and became a wild child. lol.

school already gave my 10yr old the birds and bees speech and the early development video. some kids are still into playing with the toys and video games,

Im a nurse and i have been a nurse at ob/gyn places, and it saddens me when i see a 13 yr old prego.

Robyn/Angel - posted on 03/17/2010

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i have 3 kids and they are 14, 13, and 10 it is hard but in a way they
will always be my babies

Missy - posted on 03/17/2010

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My crew most defenitly aren't babies... my 'oldest' (in my heart, not biological) is 17 and has a boyfriend, the other 2 are 14 (can't stand boys) and 11 he has no use for girls lol. We have very open and frank discusssions about everything under the sun including boys, sex, drugs and anything else they come up with. They're all encouraged to talk to me about anything (as are many of their close friends) and know I'll give them a honest, frank answer. I think part of what helps is I'm also one of the nurses at our local high school, so they see other kids talking to me too. Best of luck & I'll help with anything I can.

[deleted account]

My oldest is almost 8, but you can search out other communities. Try typing in "tweens" in the search window and you can pick from many different communities for help. That will help.

Toni - posted on 03/17/2010

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I have almost like two different families I have a 25 yr old son and 23 yr old daughter and an eight yr old daughter. No babies hear unless they are grandkids.

Ranessa - posted on 03/17/2010

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I have a fifteen year old daughter and then 2 boys ages 6&3. I was a young Mom too. As for the sex thing. That is something you need to talk to her very seriously about. My daughter has 3 girls in one class that are pregnate and/or have kids. You have to be careful how you approach that. As for boys, we didn't let her "date" till high school. She still isn't allowed on car dates. It is more to keep her safe. She will be driving soon so it won't last too much longer. Confidence is something you can help foster in them but they have to feel good about themselves too.
Having friends is great too but I have friends with teens and then ones with little ones. That way I can ask for help where it is most likely to be helpful.

Jessi - posted on 03/16/2010

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I am ok with the boys as long as her school work is not affected. If the grades drop then out goes the boyfriend, she is not allowed to be alone with boys, she is not allowed to go in a room and shut a door behind her, and if thinking that she is ready to have sex...just because friends are doing it probably...remind her how young you were. It's not all peaches and cream being a teen mom. I tell my kids that just because others are doing something to appear cool...doesn't mean they are cool. Dare to be different and be the one to say no thanks. I tell my kids often how beautiful/handsome they are, how proud I am of them..,and when the going gets tough..I don't spank. They are old enough that I sit them down and discuss what is bothering them, and together we think of ways to reslove the issues. May I suggest some good reading? How to talk so your kids will listen, How to listen so your kids will talk. With 2 kids that are ADHD and wise beyond their years and the rest are smart as whips...the book has really helped. And consistency is the key!!

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