emotional connection vs. a stable life????

Christina - posted on 04/02/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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So a dreaded question that I hope other moms have had. I have always been a very hard-headed individual, but I'm involved in this relationship. We have a 4 yr old daughter but NO support system around us as far as family/babysitters. I do not know if I love my partner. but I do know how I feel about a past relationship that didn't work out, but we had a special, emotional connection. . . my question is this, "Is it enough to be with a great man/dad/provider and content with life, even though it doesn't compare to how another man made me feel?"



Do we really have to give up true intimacy and romance for a stable homelife?



I do very much appreciate and enjoy raising a family and farm, but I find myself getting caught up with what my past was . . . . anyone been there? have advice?

I try to not let this concern overwhelm me, and chock it up to an idle, bored mind during the day...... when does it matter? cause its invading my dreams which makes me question my choices.

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Kay - posted on 04/02/2012

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Christina,



This is a complicated question, and only you will really be able to figure this out.



Love is a truly tricky emotion. There are many, many layers to it. Sometimes, looking at relationship in the past from a current one that has "cooled", we may yearn for that relationship simply because it never progressed past the stage of passionate, heated love, and into the stage that our current relationship is in--one of stability and security, that may sometimes be cooler than that "old love".



Before you decide that you are compromising for a stable homelife, have you tried some relationship work? There are great books on relationships. "Love Dare" is one of my favorites. It is from a Christian perspective, and there are others that are good that are from other perspectives too.



Love is what you make it. Relationships are what you make it. If your partner is committed, you have a good chance of growing a connection if you commit yourself to it. And even if you decide to move on, you can do so knowing that you truly gave this relationship your best shot, which can be a great closure to have.



Good luck. Best wishes.

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