haggling over private school vs. public school

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Quoting Kathryn:



Hi Renee....this sounds familiar to me....My husband and I were both raised strict Catholic. I went to private Catholic school up until 8th grade, then to public grade school.  I always credit my good behavior and morals in high school to a great foundation of Catholic private upbringing.  Two years ago, we started our children at a private Catholic school.  for us, it wa a no-brainer.  Now, I'm almost regretting it.  It's VERY different than when we went.  Back then, you went to learn values and morals. You gained ethics and a better education.  Now, it's a total status symbol.  The moms are alot tougher I think to get closer to.  The rich families and the stay at home moms (I have to work full time, always have and always regretted it.  Now my husband is laid off) take over the classrooms and the spoiled kids rule the classrooms.  I am heartbroken.  My husband says I expect too much of people. I was naive enough to think it was like it was 25 years ago. I am  still hanging in there  knowing she is learning about God and that we are there for the right reasons.  But, the rich kids, who treat her badly and the way some treat others still shock me.  Again, my husband says that will be in any school, but it is definately different than it used to be.  I don't want to discourage it, but the past two years have been an eye opener for me, and unfortunately not in a good way.   Of course, there are different types of private schools, not all Catholic, so maybe I'm seeing things differently with religion being involved. Before you start though, get a tour of the school and try to meet some of the parents first.  It's easy to know right off hand if you'll be comfortable there.... Good luck!





My stepkids went to a Catholic school through 8th grade.  I, like you, was disenchanted by it all.  I felt like a large number of parents were not parenting simply because they thought that the school was doing it for them.  It was disappointing and frustrating.  But, again, every school is different and I've heard wonderful things about some of the private schools in this area.

[deleted account]

Quoting Lori:



I went to a private school until high school and I don't think that my education was that much better.  When I went to a public high school I felt out of the loop and it felt harder to make friends.  In fact, I have a lot of unpleasant memories from grade school as far as the way we were all treated.  Not sure that it's like that anymore (and I'm guessing it's not) but if you are in a good suburb with good schools, you should be fine.  Our suburb has high property taxes but you get what you pay for and we have good schools.  And, the write-off is nice at tax time.  I think that maybe a private high school would be beneficial but until then, I think it is a waste of money.





My step-kids went to a small private school through 8th grade then they went to a massive public high school.  They did not fare well and both got into a lot of trouble.  I also went to a rural school through 8th grade and then moved to the bigger 'burbs and had some trouble with adjusting.  My own two children (6 & 8 y.o.) are in public school.  I think that whatever decision you make, you need to be prepared to stick with it for years to come because the adjustment can be detrimental.  This is a huge financial obligation you are making.  I personally considered Christian private schools, but couldn't work out the transportation and financial parts of it.  So far my children are doing fantastic in public school, but we are also extremely blessed to be in one of the better districts in the country.  I'm trusting my relationship with God and my girls to get them through some very tempting situations in the years to come.

Kathryn - posted on 02/13/2009

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WOW, sounds like my house!  i had a very hard time, but now, my husband is the one that does not want to move them.  he thinks moving kids when they are allready established somewhere will hurt them socially. take him to talk to the priest.  have the priest tell him the reasons why a catholic grade school is better. 

Renee - posted on 02/10/2009

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Thank you all for your comments. I should heve clarified my question. My children do at the momment attend a catholic grade school. The public school district did not impress me. I feel my children are getting a good education but my husband feels that it is to expensive. The school they attend contributes to each child's education by half, we pay the other half. So in retrospect we are getting a quality education for half the amount. I guess my true issues are my husband's thoughts on private schools. Has anyone else had a hard time selling the idea to your significant other? How did you reach a compromise?

Annette - posted on 02/10/2009

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Hi Renee-



I think it just boils down to the schools in your area as well. I attended a private school till 9th grade and I was ahead went I started to a public school. It was also a very hard transition. I do think there are advantages and disadvantages  no matter how you look at it. My son is in kindergarden and my daughter in preschool both attend a small christian private school and it is great! The schools in my area are horrible so it was a no brainer for me to send them to a private school.



Do what you think is right and stay involved. If you choose one over the other you can always change your mind.

Kathryn - posted on 02/10/2009

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Hi Renee....this sounds familiar to me....My husband and I were both raised strict Catholic. I went to private Catholic school up until 8th grade, then to public grade school.  I always credit my good behavior and morals in high school to a great foundation of Catholic private upbringing.  Two years ago, we started our children at a private Catholic school.  for us, it wa a no-brainer.  Now, I'm almost regretting it.  It's VERY different than when we went.  Back then, you went to learn values and morals. You gained ethics and a better education.  Now, it's a total status symbol.  The moms are alot tougher I think to get closer to.  The rich families and the stay at home moms (I have to work full time, always have and always regretted it.  Now my husband is laid off) take over the classrooms and the spoiled kids rule the classrooms.  I am heartbroken.  My husband says I expect too much of people. I was naive enough to think it was like it was 25 years ago. I am  still hanging in there  knowing she is learning about God and that we are there for the right reasons.  But, the rich kids, who treat her badly and the way some treat others still shock me.  Again, my husband says that will be in any school, but it is definately different than it used to be.  I don't want to discourage it, but the past two years have been an eye opener for me, and unfortunately not in a good way.   Of course, there are different types of private schools, not all Catholic, so maybe I'm seeing things differently with religion being involved. Before you start though, get a tour of the school and try to meet some of the parents first.  It's easy to know right off hand if you'll be comfortable there.... Good luck!

Teresa - posted on 02/10/2009

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Quoting Lori:



Quoting Teresa:




My daughter is in a private school, she is in kindergarten and she's doing great. She is very advanced and I didn't feel she would get the opportunity to continue with her learning the way she wants to at a public school.  The private school she goes to is wonderful and she's doing amazing, I wouldn't want her anywhere else.









Well said.  That is what is most important - if YOU think that your child is getting a quality education.  It really varies from location to location, too.  If I wasn't in a suburb, I would absolutely go to a private school, and so on.





Exactly. If we lived some place else she probably wouldn't be in a private school, but we are right in the city and the school she was suppose to go to, I just didn't have the best feelings about.

Nanette - posted on 02/10/2009

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I think it depends entirely on the schools in your area, public and private. I encourage all parents to go check out the options, and go with your gut. You and your family have needs that are different from other families. In our case, we live in the city and I drive my kids 5 miles to a school that is just north of the downtown area - a public school. It's a great place. I found it by checking out what our options were, and we're happy with this one.

Lori - posted on 02/10/2009

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Quoting Teresa:



My daughter is in a private school, she is in kindergarten and she's doing great. She is very advanced and I didn't feel she would get the opportunity to continue with her learning the way she wants to at a public school.  The private school she goes to is wonderful and she's doing amazing, I wouldn't want her anywhere else.





Well said.  That is what is most important - if YOU think that your child is getting a quality education.  It really varies from location to location, too.  If I wasn't in a suburb, I would absolutely go to a private school, and so on.

Teresa - posted on 02/10/2009

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My daughter is in a private school, she is in kindergarten and she's doing great. She is very advanced and I didn't feel she would get the opportunity to continue with her learning the way she wants to at a public school.  The private school she goes to is wonderful and she's doing amazing, I wouldn't want her anywhere else.

Lori - posted on 02/10/2009

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I went to a private school until high school and I don't think that my education was that much better.  When I went to a public high school I felt out of the loop and it felt harder to make friends.  In fact, I have a lot of unpleasant memories from grade school as far as the way we were all treated.  Not sure that it's like that anymore (and I'm guessing it's not) but if you are in a good suburb with good schools, you should be fine.  Our suburb has high property taxes but you get what you pay for and we have good schools.  And, the write-off is nice at tax time.  I think that maybe a private high school would be beneficial but until then, I think it is a waste of money.

[deleted account]

I went to private school for much of my life (this is just me) I didnt like it at all. I now have a 9 year old and a 5 year old. They both go to public school and I realized they have much more opportunity there. Sports, Clubs, Swimming, Friends who live right around the block (which is what I didnt have). That is just my opinion. I know other people really like private schools too tho.

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