Having trouble with neighbors and their kids... help!

Danielle - posted on 04/19/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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We live in a nice middle class suburban neighborhood. Shortly after we bought our house 3 years ago, we realized that our next door neighbors were renters. After 2 years of their son setting off fireworks and them barging into our house and their mentally ill daughter stalking me at the fence line and property line (this kid would literally sit there and watch me in my backyard for hours like I lived in a fish bowl- it was freaky), we were finally successful in getting the owner of the property to evict them (it took many police reports from us and the neighbors due to their son bringing trouble from the city here). We felt victorious and could finally enjoy our yard peacefully in privacy... or so we thought. The next tenants they have moved in are worse. This landlord wants to save one urban family at a time with Section 8. They are barely able to speak English (the parents anyway) and they have 4 children, ages 9,8,6,and 5. Our cars have been robbed twice since they moved in (though we can't prove it was them), they have driven across our side lawn causing damage that the landlord has paid for, running a loud engine and working on their car after 9 p.m. and there have been many words between us due to their actions and their children's behavior (of course theirs is broken english but I am sure they are cursing me). They never supervise their kids and because I am the only neighbor with children on this side of the street in this block, their children run over to my yard and disrupt my time with my children. They have broken many toys, ripped out my solar lights, they have climbed into my backyard over my fence and have even lifted one of my daughters out of our yard over the fence when I was grabbing a ball out of the bushes for my kids. I tell their kids to go home and they don't listen. I always have to pull my kids inside from the front yard. When we are in the backyard doing anything as a family, they harass us at the fence for the entire duration begging us to come play or make smores with us or even have dinner with us. I have had them knock on my door to use the bathroom because mom locks them out and I have even received a phone call from the school nurse because they couldn't reach the parents for 3 hours and it was already after school and they didn't notice that their 6 year old was missing? I ran next door to tell her to go pick up her daughter and her 8 year old said mommy wouldn't come out of the bedroom because her and daddy were in the bedroom with the door locked. Gee, what a surprise. This was while the 8 year old was outside raking the leaves up from the propety while watching her 5 year old brother (a job they made her complete at 5:30 the next morning!) She has even signed off on having to get her kids off the bus without her having to be there. We are stuck keeping her kids out of the street at the bus stop and even dry with umbrellas when it is pouring out. They have no winter hats or mittens and we feel bad for them when they are out in the 20 degree weather waiting for the bus. They even show up for school in capris in the middle of the winter. The mom even fell asleep and didn't get her kids off the bus on her 5 year old's first day of school (before she signed a form to not have to be at the bus stop)- then she came out 45 minutes later and asked us if we knew where her kids were... we told her they shipped them over to the aftercare program at the school. It took her another 40 minutes to go get them. She was never there to walk her 5 year old to the bus stop for his first day of kindergarten or took any pics of him. He started 3 days late because he needed his immunizations. Poor kid! :( Summer is almost here and we are planning on planting Zebra grass by that side of the fence for some privacy but I know they are just going to run around the front of my house and bug us at our gate to let them in (we have it padlocked because of them letting our pug out and it taking me 2 hours to get him home). Mom locks them out and actually drops food out the window to them sometimes in the yard. I knock on mom's door when they break things in my yard after sending them home and either she doesn't answer or she plays the "I speaka no english" card and screams at the kids to pile in the house in spanish and then I feel bad because I know she is hurting them (we have seen her do it before). What do I do to get this landlord to open her eyes to the problems she is letting into our neighborhood? The neighbors are disgusted but not affected as directly as I am because I have children right next door with adjoing property lines. We cannot afford to put up a privacy fence and cannot put a privacy fence all the way down our front property... I feel like a prisoner and it is not fair to my children that I have to keep calling them inside when these kids are out. These people have no care in the world for their kids and we have even been woken up by them bringing their kids home and them running around the yard at 2 a.m. on a school night! Help!!!!!

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no offense, but its your property, your stuff, and they are kids. tell them to get off of your property, you are the adult, call the the police - have them escorted home. if they try and get your attention through the fence in the back yard ignore them. you have said some pretty offensive things in your post you know, "their mentally ill daughter stalking you" how do you know she wasnt autistic or something? and so WHAT if they barely speak english?! i know lots of really nice people who dont speak english very well, that doesnt make them bad...and how do you know they are section 8? did the landlord tell you that? or are you assuming something based on the way they live?
long story short, you need to take control of your property and keep them off of it, call the cops everytime they are on your property and let them handle it...... call the school and tell them that you dont want your driveway to be a busstop anymore and the reason why and that you are never to be called for your neighbors kids again.
the woman who said it sounds like different parenting styles was right. otherwise you wouldnt have made all of these comments about her not taking pictures of her kids etc...

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Angie - posted on 04/19/2010

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As I said, when they are on your property it is your problem. When they're not on your property it's not your problem. It's too bad that the public school bus stop has been placed on your private property. Can you have that changed so that other children won't be on your problem? You might also want to tell the school nurse not to call you with issues with other children. I totally agree that they shouldn't be on your property if you don't want them there. I also think that her not taking pictures of her children or walking them to the bus stop or walking them home aren't your problem and you should try to ignore that.

Danielle - posted on 04/19/2010

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Angie, I wish I could just move on and say it is a difference in parenting, but the problem is her "parenting" or lack thereof is affecting me and my life. Getting phone calls from the school nurse about their children and having my children hurt, put in harm's way and our property destroyed when sending them on their merry way is not just a difference in parenting styles. It also affects us as we are waiting at the end of our driveway (which is the bustop) and I am now responsible for these 4 children of hers while trying to watch my own 3 children (I have toddler twins)- if one of her children were to run in the street and get hurt, I would be held responsible. Her children run up and down our driveway and hit our vehicles and rip apart our landscape while waiting for the bus. If one of these children gets hurt climbing on our fence or ripping out our solar lights or ripping one of my kids scooters away from them on our property, I am the one who will get sued! This is much more than parenting differences!

Angie - posted on 04/19/2010

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Do what you did last time, let the landlord know. Some of these problems simply seem to be a difference in parenting styles, don't worry about those. We all do things differently, and that's okay. I have had neighbor children in my yard as soon as I start a fire in the firepit - I take it as a compliment. If you don't want to be the neighborhood mom, just tell them they can't come in. How she parents is not your concern, that her children are in your yard uninvited is. Our neighbors have dogs that bark the second we step out the door. We put up a privacy fence and it doesn't help. We just realize that it's part of living in our neighborhood, accept it, and move on.....

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