Help! Bullying

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2012

My daughter is also 6 and in first grade (since November). Her classmates know she is younger and that sometimes makes them want to bully her. She also considers those who bully her to be good friends of hers. We have had to set her straight. She no longer talks to one girl, but she talks about the girl at home constantly. We just have to remind her that this girl is not her friend and she should not worry about how cool this girl's friends/clothes/belongings are. I am also worried as she will start second grade in July at her year round school. I've talked to her teacher about the girls bullying her and her teacher has explained the concept of fairweather friends to the students.

America3437 - posted on 03/26/2012

Would for sure be callin the school to get it straightened out! Sometimes the teacher doesn't know this is going on. Talk to your daughter about the issue and get specifics and the name of this child. If the school won't address the issue then go to the parent's. If that doesn't help either then go to the police. Drastic measure for this age but may be necessary to solve the problem.

Tamara - posted on 03/26/2012

I feel for you honestly. It is so hard to see your child go through something that is really very painful. My daughter was bullied in the second week of year one by the majority of the primary students in the area where she was. The rounded on her and started calling her names and I only found out because she lashed out in anger one night and pushed her toddler brother over on the wet bathroom floor. The school had no teacher on duty in that zone but soon did once I told them what had happened.



We had ostrasization in year two and sneaky vicious bullying in year three where the teacher was calling me daily telling me my child had social problems. It turned out that the nephew of the deputy principal who was in the lower grade of the split class she was in, was doing things to my girl when the teacher wasn't looking and of course she would cry in class which in turn made the teacher think she couldn't cut it socially. The school psych stepped in and took her once a week in a friendship skills class of which she enjoyed because it made her feel comfortable in her own skin and this kid wasn't there so she could have an hour of peace and actually have some fun at school.



This year it is back to the obvious ostracization by the other girls in her class. She had once considered the ring leader as her best friend but confided in me that when she went to sit with them to eat lunch (we don't have cafeterias in Australian schools), they would all squash in the circle so that there wasn't room to allow her to sit.



The only thing I have done this year is to tell the teacher and to ask her support in guiding the class to accept my daughter in the playground. I have read so many books on the subject and there are a few good ones out there - Amazon has a great selection. They all give good advice but I have found that only little bits of advice in each book.



Other than that I have encouraged and consoled my daughter and listened to her when she wanted to talk. Making sure you know your daughter understands that you are there to listen is key.



Little girls can be very mean and they bully in mainly taunts and what is called relational bullying which is basically isolating the victim and encouraging other kids not to play with her. This is the basis of clique behaviour.



I would talk to your daughter's teacher and fill her in on what you have found out. She may have a few observations of her own to share and if so she may be your best allie to eleviate the problem.



If she doesn't come across as helpful, I would go further to the principal because then they would have to lend a hand.



If you have a school psychologist or a school councellour I would seek their advice also. They are most often equipped with viable information and tools to help your child at school when you are not there.



If your school doesn't have a specialist, I would endeavour to seek one privately to assist you in assisting your child.



Bullying is such a serious thing that can lead to a child becoming depressed - my daughter was just that. The school should have an obligation to do its upmost and implement a no toleration policy towards bullying.



This is all I can suggest. I hope you reach a conclusion soon so that your daughter can be comfortable at school and make friends.

Sachi - posted on 03/20/2012

What exactly is the other girl doing that's considered bullying? That's what I'd find out first. Sometimes kids, especially girls, have friendship issues and one minute they like each other and the next they don't and its over something so silly (to us). My 8 year old has had issues before and I've told her to not talk to talk to anyone who isn't going to be nice to her. She can say "I really don't like what you said/did." If its something that is constantly happening then I'd consult with the teacher. Bring it to her attention. She is with them all day and should be able to monitor what is going on. If that still doesn't work...I'd request to speak to the parent of that child. More often than not, the teacher will help out and that's the end of it. You just need to do your part and question your daughter occassionally about what's going on.