help help help

Stacy - posted on 12/06/2009

No matter the situation, the children should always come first. When we have our children, we make a promise to them from the start, to love, cherish, and protect them. Just as parents did us. Should be no questions asked. Our children can not care for them selves, nor can a man half the time, but you gave birth to that child, shared a heart beat, blood, food. Nothing can or should beable to break the bond of mother and child.
The most preciouse jewel you can wear around your neck is your childs arms.

Melissa - posted on 12/06/2009

hell no they an adult and can take care of them selfs ... but if things are not good between you the child will notice and might start acting up ... when my husband and i got married our pastor explained it like this if suzy is acting up and you tow poor all your energy into her you fall farther apart.... or that your children are always yours you have an instant bond... your marridge is a "job" you have to work on that realationship.... but my kids needs come first

Angelia - posted on 12/06/2009

well let me say HELL NO>> children didn't asked to be brought here and I must say from experience with my own mother the child will hate or resent the mother later in life.. the man can take care of his self and if he loved you and them there would not be a choice to be made.. he new what he was doing when he came along.. there are plenty of others out there that will love all of you the same.. don't do it and please think of the children first.. ALWAYS>>

Lauren - posted on 12/06/2009

Never Never Never. And the ones who do pay for it dearly in the long run. I know this to be true because I have seen it happen to a family. The mother cheated on her husband and the day he moved out she moved her boyfriend in. Tell me how the children were suppposed to swallow that?? Then it turned out they hated her boyfriend and went to live with their dad and the mother was ok with that!!!! Needless to say the wedge was formed and she still chooses her looser boyfriend who doesn't work, gets arrested when he is drunk and stupid, and the llist goes on. That is the worst case I have ever seen.

Sorcha - posted on 11/09/2009

Definitely not!! He's a big boy! Sometimes my hysband pouts if I am just too tired to deal with him but he has to learn to live with it. That's what his own Mummy is for!

Carol - posted on 11/09/2009

What kind of man would make you choose? The kids have to come first for all the reasons the other moms have said. That said, the kids can't have the run of the house. If it's a question of their safety and wellbeing though - it's not even a question. A man (or woman) who doesn't support that needs to make a quick exit, with or without help. Good luck

Emilie - posted on 11/09/2009

You should always put your children first. A grown man can take care of himself (most of the time), anyway, any good man would feel the same way. If a man loves his children he would make sure that they are taken care of before he is.

Kelly - posted on 11/09/2009

I do not believe so and neither does my husband. When we decided to have our first child, we knew that even though we loved each other dearly, we would always love our children more and put them first. That doesn't mean that you should toss your signifigant other aside; but, your children rely on you, they need you, they are your life. My husband and I always try to make it a point to make "us" time each week (or every other week when we are busy). That way we stay in touch with each other and we get the emotional bonding time that we need. Every couple still needs that reassurance that you are there for each other. Ultimately, though, your children take priority over everything!

Melissa - posted on 11/09/2009

For me, my kids come first. They will always be there. Your boyfriend/husband can always leave, but your children are there forever. They will love you unconditionally, where as your boyfriend/husband may (hopefully they will) or may not always love you. I hope they do, but sometimes you fall out of love with people. But you will never fall out of love with your children. My kids come first, then my boyfriend/husband, then myself. Best of luck!!

Suz - posted on 11/09/2009

I agree that safety and care of the child should come first and the hubby should understand that...but remember, he is the one you CHOSE! You have an obligation to make that relationship a HUGE priority in your life or it will vanish. I know so many people that put their marriage on hold to be parents. You have to still work at that. You never know what will happen. I am SO thankful that my first hubby and I stuck with date nights and making each other a priority since the girls were just 2 and 3 when he died. I have a great new hubby and we set that priority also. We are important and our time together is valuable. What an example you are setting for your children. They will look to how you treat your marriage as an example.

Sandra - posted on 11/09/2009

I agree - if it is a question of their care and safety - they should always be your first consideration - they depend on you. Your partner is an adult and should be able to appreciate their importance. Although the relationship is also important and you need to give it some priority (I find this harder at times than I thought it would be) the kids should never be negleted in order to achieve this. I try to organise it so they are off having fun while we spend alone time. Although I know if I had to choose - it would always be my daughter.

Jennifer - posted on 11/09/2009

no way...the children will always comes first for me!

Sheena - posted on 11/09/2009

Here is the way I see it. When I chose to have children, I chose the responsibilities. My husband is perfectly capable of taking care of himself...my children are not. I will not neglect my children for my husband..but my husband isn't neglected either. Their needs have to come first. They're kids! Dh is well taken care of anyway...I expect him to put their needs before me too.