help my daughter is constantly worried!!!!

Jesse - posted on 01/26/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

46

2

1

My 5 year old daughter is constantly worrying about adult things, she is more organized that I am. I don't know what to do with her, I am not sure if it is just because she is mature for her age or what ??? she just worries about everything and had started getting anxiety which is leading to headaches and more stress! She is just a such a beautiful sweet little girl how do i stop her from constantly worrying....

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

4 Comments

View replies by

Lisa - posted on 02/01/2012

2

0

0

My son, now 8 (and also an only child), started the same thing at about that age too. He'd worry that someone would break into the house, that they would open the car door while we were driving, that almost anything would kill him or me, etc. He was worried enough that once during 1st grade he ran out of the classroom and made it down the street and had turned on to the next street before a teacher could catch him. He was going to come get me it keep me safe.



What I started doing was having him explain exactly what was worrying him then go through step by step to help him realize how unlikely it was to happen. I make sure that I don't trivialize his fear (or suggest anything that could make it bigger -- it's not a great example, but if he's worried about someone stealing my purse from the car then I don't mention that someone could also kidnap him also). As he has come backs to my attempts at alleviating his fears, I explain those too. And I also ask him what's worrying him, rather than waiting for him to be so scared that he brings them up. It's helped a lot, and he's not as bad anymore, but I'll still ask him if anything is worrying him every couple of months now.

User - posted on 01/31/2012

1

0

0

Wow. Are we long lost twins? I have a 6 yr old that started this at the age of 4. She used to spend her afternoon after school in the car explaining her worries to me. I let her vent. She used to freak out about getting a job, learning how to drive, "Mom where will i get food when your so old you die?" and the lovely "Oh my god. How will i get to work. This is terrible. If you die who will teach me how to drive. I'll have no job. No food.No one to get me drinks if Im thirsty." I am in good health. I was never in bad health and no one ever said anything to her about me dying, or anyone dying. She just worries. She's never heard me say anything on the phone to another adult that would be misconstrued as these types of 'crisis situations' for her either.



So I always tell her "We will take care of that. I'll do it , but I'll show you how so you will always know. It will be fine."

Doesn't work for everything but she has calmed down a lot in the last 2 years. Perhaps if she is worried about everything, it may make her feel both important and accomplished instead of quelling the issue, to actually put her in charge of 1 thing to let her have the follow through on it. If you do, I'd say hey all the rest is my job so don't get all flustered and bark about it but this part can be your job.



I've tried to reinforce the whole "I am the adult" because it makes you all annoyed, discouraged and even wondering why does my child have no confidence, or why does my child worry I will let us down? It's not me. It could be, but couldn't it be that she saw something that didnt work out so well like my daughter may have at somepoint and became nervous? What you said sounds like she has realistic valid concerns, just not for her age. I try to quell the nerves not the concerns. I want her to know the things she say might happen and not to ignore things. Do what you can with it. Good luck

Jesse - posted on 01/30/2012

46

2

1

Yes actually she is an only child, thanks for your response. she just always worries if we go for a walk or leave the house she stresses about if I have grabbed the keys, also stresses that we will get lost! thinks that I won't have tea ready for when daddy gets home, which btw has never happened lol.stresses that I haven't out on my seatbelt. I don't know know why she stresses so much, she drives me crazy lately lol.... and it is really hard to see her getting so worked up into such a state! again thanks!

Susie - posted on 01/27/2012

28

29

4

Is your daughter an only child,or the eldest child? There seems to be a common thread,with eldest children being worriers,or perfectionists and high acheivers.My son,who is nearly eight,worries about everything and can get quite upset.He worries about fire,earthquakes,if we go for a walk,he worries that we may get lost.All you can do,is to reassure them,that you will look after them and that you are the Adult and are there to help them,if any problems arise.My son is presently obsessed,with a fire starting in the house,so I have a fire blanket in the kitchen and have told him,what I would do,if a fire occurs.I have to keep on repeating myself,but I am sure that I am reassuring him,by doing this.It's a hard road,for these little stress heads,but I try to give him methods,of how to cope,with his concerns.Best of luck.It's so sad to see your children,feeling so stressed,at such a young age.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms