Help My kindergartener is getting into trouble everyday don't know what to do
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Sarah - posted on 10/08/2009
We did positive rewards for my son in Kindergarten. He had to fill in a sticker chart at school. When he had 30 green lights (They used a stop light to help him judge his behavior) he got his special activity. We planned the activity/reward with him in advance so he knew what he was looking forward to. He was a little better in 1st grade; Second grade is much better. Negative reinforcement definately did not work...
Lara - posted on 10/11/2009
As a former kindergarten teacher, I would suggest talking with the teacher. She should have a discipline program set up in the classroom. If she does and this one does not work. Then she should set up an independent program for your son. Also, it may be time to have a confrence with the teacher and the principal. together everyone should be able to come up with a plan to help. You do not have to do this alone. The school should be more than willing to help. Good luck!
Tammy - posted on 10/09/2009
My son also got into trouble in kindergarten, believe me it will get better eventually. He is now in the fourth grade and his teachers love him and tell me what a great student he is. Just be patient and enforce the rules you have set for him. I agree with the mother that said it is very tough these days and very strict at school.
I have 2 kids and they both got into trouble at one point in school. My daughter it was kindergarten and 1st grade and my son it was 2nd. This year my daughter went to a new school and had trouble. The school put a award system up for the kids to help them. I found out that year my son has anixety issues, I put him on meds for it to help him cope. And yes they both have ADHD, and medication isn't always the issue. My daughter is taking meds for hers, and she still has issues.
I would talk to the teacher to see what can be done on both sides. If your child sees you talking to the teacher about it, then it might help. For my daugther this year I get notes sent home that I have to sign if shes either good or bad. That is the best way for me and the teacher to communicate.
Good Luck, and it will supside once your child gets in the hang of it all. Just remember this is all new to them.
Talk to the teacher is it just gerring used to the new rules? My son took a bit to get use to the rules that were very different from daycare. We had a shirt that he really hated waring and if he acted up in school the next day he wore the shirt. I reminded him in the morning that if he was thinking of acting up to look at his sleeve to remind him that he would be wearing that shirt again if he did. It worked for us. It was a good visual reminder.
Maranda - posted on 10/08/2009
My oldest son had the same problem. He is very smart and got bored very easily, and would act out. Thankfully he grew out of it but it did take a few years. I understand not wanting to use medication. We tried ritalin when he was 3 and he had a major meltdown after only being on it for a week and a half. We also tried zoloft, but he didn't like how it made him feel and would act like he was taking it. The last one we tried with him was adderall, that was the worst, he became very angry and violent. However, one of my other boys had trouble staying on task, and the pediatrician recommended concerta. We have gone from having 4-6 hrs of fighting to get homework done, to about a half an hour of just getting it done. Also he only has to take it on days that he goes to school and it only stays in the system for about 10 hrs. So there are good things about medication. However, I inquired about the advantage of putting my youngest son on meds, because I think he is going to be a handful for the school. The pediatrician told me that they don't like to start meds on kids before they are around 7 because the disadvantages greatly outweigh the advantages.
Cindy - posted on 10/08/2009
I had the same problem with my son years ago. A topic that has not been addressed with the other responses is the possibility that your little one is a gifted child. My son spent his entire kindergarten year (which should've been the most fun) outside the big circle that all the other children were in because he couldn't 'be good'. The problem was that he already knew the material being taught and was bored--the teacher refused to alter her methods to accommodate him so he stayed in trouble and was miserable. This continued through most of his first grade year as well, except he had more understanding teachers who worked with him more. They finally tested him for the gifted & talented program and he scored off the charts, so the next years he was placed in classes where the teachers were qualified to work with other kids like him. He's done really well since and is now a happy 16-yr old ( if such a thing is possible with teenagers). You might try talking with the teachers and counselors to see if this might be possible with your child.
Karen - posted on 10/08/2009
She gets color coded by the day in school, if he hasan outstanding day by going above and beyond she gets an orange. if she has been good all day she gets a green, if she has been not listening a yellow and hitting and such a red. she has been coming home with a yellow or red almost everyday. She has been pushing kids, or pinching them and one day she even poked one in the hand with sissors! I don't know where this behavior is coming from. She has been in daycare since she was a small baby so she's used to the whole school environment. Have been trying to bribe her with doing something fun at the end of each week this week , so far she is getting green everyday. Thanks to everyone for their help with this matter.
I agree with Lisa Roberts about food intolerances. You might want to read more about that. Especially about gluten and dairy which tend to be responsible for behavioral problems. I've seen it make a HUGE difference in kids. The doctors don't quite understand it all yet but it is worth looking into.
Vanessa - posted on 10/07/2009
i had that prob with my daughter in 1st grade. what i did was make a star chart.( have your child help you make it ) put the days and get a packet of shinny stars- like the teachers put on class work. every day yur child is good they get a gold star, bad, a red star. let them know that by the end of the week if they have all gold stars you will do something with them. could be going out for ice cream, or just letting a friend spend the night. something that they can strive for. if they are bad even once,..then they have to start all over again. my daughter caught on at about week 3. maybe its bribary ,..ok yea sure. but look at it this way,...if he IS good,..you get what you want and so does he
Angela - posted on 10/07/2009
Another thing that might help is starting a positive reward program. Most teachers will start a notebook if you ask them to. They can write in it every day and give you an idea of how his day is or a chart throughout the day with stickers or smiley faces and stuff and then at the end of the day you can tally up how many he got and have rewards based on the number of stickers he earns...something I do with my 5 year old is I have a jar that I put a rotini noodle in every time he has a good day at school or I also use it for target behaviors at home like listening. You could use 1 noodle for each sticker or something and then when he gets the jar filled up he gets to do something that he thinks is really fun that he doesn't get to do frequently. We have done a movie, chuck e cheese, water park...the key is not to take away any noodles when he doesn't do good b/c if you take them away it is to the child as if the positive behaviors or the good days never happen. They learn that the more good days they have and the more times they listen without having to be told 3 or 4 times the more noodles they get and the faster their jar fills up.
Erika - posted on 10/07/2009
YEAH I AM DEF NOT CONSIDERING MEDICATION HOPEFULLY HE WILL GROW OUT OF THIS. I REALLY THINK HE GETS BORED VERY EASILY HE IS VERY SMART SO WHILE SHE IS TEACHING HE WILL DISRUPT CLASS DOESNT CARE ABOUT GOING TO TIME OUT DOESNT CARE ABOUT BEING PUNISHED PERIOD. LIKE I SAID HOPEFULLY HE WILL GROW OUT OF THIS AND UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS HIS TIME FOR LEARNING THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR ADVICE:)
Lisa - posted on 10/07/2009
I'm in Australia so I'm not really sure what kindergarten is like for you. Here you have a choice of between play-based and a more regimented kinder routine. I've chosen play-based for my 4 year old who will start pre-school next year. The first year of primary school is looking to be more play-based too. Anyway, I guess the question is what sort of trouble your children are getting in to. Is it with other students? Is it the work? Is it their behaviour?
Erika and Martha... sometimes behavioural issues can be caused by food intolerances. Things like preservatives and colours can make children behave in a way that is often assumed to be ADHD or ADD. I strongly recommend looking in to that, especially for Martha's nephew. Ritilin is a harsh drug and not to be used as a first resort! My cousin was on ritilin from a young age, it affected his growth, both size and cognitively. He went off it and grew about 4 inches within months!
Martha - posted on 10/06/2009
ya know, my nephew is in 1st grade and he gets into trouble on a regular basis. His father wants to put him on ridiline. They have pills for everything! I don't think pills are the magic answer. I know some kids need medicine, but I feel like people just want a quick fix. 9 times out of 10 a healthy balance of love and discipline is the answer. I don't want hate mail or anyone thinking I am against medication because I am not. I am 26 and will have to take pills everyday for the rest of my life. I simply urge the parents to research the medication, if they go that route. Remember doctors are human too. They do make mistakes. Alot of children go thru many phases. This hopefully is just a normal childhood phase.
Rebecca - posted on 10/06/2009
I have 5 kids, so far.......they ALL got in trouble like that. Kindergarten is so demanding these days, its nothing like it used to be!!! I have found that K thru 2....it is NOT cool to have mom show up. I have done this with all of them. The 4th is a boy and in 2nd grade, I showed up in 1st grade when he was misbehaving, and the poor baby crawled under his desk and just about cried. I didn't even talk to him, no one knew who I was. I just stood at the door talked to the teacher and looked around the class (from the doorway). No problem since, and the saying is "Remember, mama can show up at any time anywhere, you had better make sure to always behave the way you are suppose to." So far so good, until they become teenagers.........then its a whole 'nother story :P
Erika - posted on 10/06/2009
OMG I THOUGT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH THIS PROBLEM. I HAVE A SON IN KINDERGARDEN HE WILL BE 5 ON FRI AND GOES TO A CHRISTIAN SCHOOL AND GETS IN TROUBLE LITERALLY EVERYDAY I AM SO LOST I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING FROM TAKING HIS TV AND GAMES,BOOKS EVERYTHING ITS BEEN 2 WEEKS AND HE STILL DOESNT CARE I HAVE EVEN TRIED SPANKING AND THAT DOESNT WORK ITS LIKE HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT CONSEQUENCES. HIS TEACHER HAS CONVINCED ME THAT HE WILL GET THRU THIS ALOT OF KIDS GO THRU THIS AND TO BE PATIENT BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH I SAT HERE TONIGHT HAD A HEART TO HEART WITH HIM AND PRAYED ON HOPEFULLY SOMETHING WILL GET THRU TO HIM. PATIENCE AND COMMUNICATION HOPEFULLY IS THE ANSWER!!!
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