Holding my son back in Kindergarden another year

Jasmine - posted on 10/01/2012

Nicole, I have been there. My son has a summer birthday so he was also one of the youngest. We didn't hold him back until 2nd grade. It was still early, but I wish I had done it in kindergarten . Its best to do it now. He won't even notice. Good luck to you both!

Sophia - posted on 09/29/2012

then let him stay back... watch him close and if he falls back then you need to really sit down with the school staff.

Amy - posted on 09/19/2012

I believe if you are going to hold them back any at all it is better to do it within their earlier years.

You are the parents and you know what's best. Go with your gut

Jane - posted on 04/11/2011

My son got an extra year of Kinder also. He was struggling but was in a private school and so could have gone to 1st grade. However, he just wasn't ready. The decision was made easier by the fact that our public school cut off was September 1st and he was born September 5th. He is immature emotionally and socially so holding him back was a no-brainer.

My daughter, OTOH, was born just before the cut-off and so is the youngest in her class, However, she did wonderfully in Kinder, even doing 1st and 2nd grade work, so we went ahead and sent her to 1st grade. She has continued to do very well.

Some of this is simply differences in personality, but a big chunk is that some kids, very often boys, are slower to mature socially than others. An extra year of Kinder can be a big help in letting them move on to 1st grade with confidence.

Jane - posted on 04/11/2011

My son got an extra year of Kinder also. He was struggling but was in a private school and so could have gone to 1st grade. However, he just wasn't ready. The decision was made easier by the fact that our public school cut off was September 1st and he was born September 5th. He is immature emotionally and socially so holding him back was a no-brainer.

My daughter, OTOH, was born just before the cut-off and so is the youngest in her class, However, she did wonderfully in Kinder, even doing 1st and 2nd grade work, so we went ahead and sent her to 1st grade. She has continued to do very well.

Some of this is simply differences in personality, but a big chunk is that some kids, very often boys, are slower to mature socially than others. An extra year of Kinder can be a big help in letting them move on to 1st grade with confidence.

Nikki - posted on 04/11/2011

Studies show that Children learn more the younger they are. Both of my children had some bad years. They wont hold him back...trust me. I have a daughter age 10 who is getting straight" F". I was say in all fairness that she is capable, she CHOOSES not to. Go talk to the pincipal about your concerns. Since my husband is a teacher he told me that the grades are not as important as how he learns. Middle school is when his grades start showing the abiltiy of what he has learned. Dont worry yet..

Tiffany - posted on 04/11/2011

I have a feeling my son is also going to be held back and he is also in kindergarten. he has improved grealty since the start of school but im not sure that he is actually ready. he stills struggles with things more than others in his class and im not sure if he does get to go to first grade that he will be successful as he should and just put that much more of a strain on his learning. we work with him all the time on trying to read and learn his numbers and write everything but sometimes his attention spand is not good enough to stay focused for longer than 30 minutes. he is probably one of the oldest in his class because he had to start late because of his birthday being in dec. so he turned 6 when others just turned 5 before they started.

Alissa - posted on 05/26/2010

I would say you should hold him back. His age is the biggest factor and then his performance would be second. You know your son best and want the best for him and from the brief description you gave, it sounds like holding him back is in his best interest. : )

Andrea - posted on 05/26/2010

I did the same with my son in preschool. I held him back a year because even though his teacher's felt that he had made great progress to proceed to kindergarten, I did not feel that he was ready, so I held him back. When he started grade school, he was skipped straight to first grade. I think I made the best decision based on his needs. My son was the oldest in his preschool class and was much more advanced, but emotionally, he was not ready to head to kindergarten or first grade. Now he's in first grade and although he's having a few behaviour issues, he's doing well. I must also mention that my son was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 1/2.

Bernadeth - posted on 05/26/2010

If your son likes Star Wars use the Jedi scenario. Tell him that even the best have to keep training to be the greatest. And that is why he will stay in K and be the greatest the rest of the time.I hope this help..

Kate - posted on 05/26/2010

Look at things from another perspective... it may be difficult on him now to be held back but won't it be worse if he is not able to stay caught up in first grade and has to repeat then, or later in school, say 4th grade... at this point he has some friends but they have not formed a long standing social bond yet as they will have a few years down the road... This was actually brought to my attention by an opposite issue my sister in law is facing... the teachers had suggested moving her son half way through his 1st grade year into second and she didn't like the idea for fear he wasn't really ready... he is now finishing 4th grade and school is so simple the teachers are having to separate him from the class to keep him challenged and are insisting she reconsider moving him to 6th instead of 5th grade next year so he can stay interested. He loves the idea of the challenge but is very hurt by having to leave his friends after so many years together. My son is changing schools this year going into 3rd grade and is feeling the pinch too of leaving his friends as his school is very small with only 50 kids in 2nd grade and are pretty much all "buddies" since kindergarten and he is feeling it is unfair that he has to make all new friends next year...

Edana - posted on 05/26/2010

Better to hold him back and give him the extra help now then move him ahead before he is ready. If you feel that he is not ready, then by all means keep him where he is.

Angela - posted on 05/25/2010

My son struggled in Kindergarten. He was the only one in his class that didn't go to Pre-K, so he was behind before he started. He struggled and his teacher had to give him extra help. He barely passed, but did pass, but after discussing it together and with his teacher, we all thought it would benefit him to try Kindergarten again instead of going to the first grade and being behind and possibly failing. It was the best decision because he did wonderfully the next year and was the best student in the class and was better prepared for first grade. He's now in the 3rd grade and doing wonderful, one of the best readers in his class, in advanced readers. He may be a year older then most of his classmates, but no one cares or even notices. I know a few other Mom's who's kids had to do the same thing and it worked out for them too. And I have to say, the school expects alot more out of Kindergarteners then they did when we were in school. All we did was learn our shapes and how to color...now they are expected to know how to read and do math by the end of the year, so I don't feel like my son was a failure...school is hard work these days.

Stacey - posted on 05/24/2010

tell him something postitive like he's now the oldest and should help the little ones out. I hope all works out for the best

Nicole - posted on 05/24/2010

Thanks to everyone for your comments. You have denfinetly helped me feel confident in my choice. I just hope my son is not to upset about not going to 1st grade. Any suggestions on how to tell him would be appreciated.

Angie - posted on 05/24/2010

we also held my youngest son back in kindergarden. He is now going into 3rd. he is doing ok. But brenden has a speech and language delay that has caused some issues in school. He still strugles alot but holding him back was the best decision for him. and it gives him the extra time to work on social skills. good luck ..

Dorothy - posted on 05/24/2010

We kept our oldest back in kindergarten last year. His teacher said it was possible for him to go to first grade but she felt he would do better with another. We went with our gut and kept him back. This year he is doing very well and is ready to go on to 1st grade. Go with your gut.

Angie - posted on 05/24/2010

I think your decision to keep him back is a wise one. It's far better to let him have some confidence when he goes in to 1st grade. I think parents these days are in such a hurry to get their child moving through school that teachers are becoming leary of holding students back. I've read it here countless times - they want their children to start kindergarten early and to move to 1st grade even when they're not ready. Good for you, Mom, for thinking about your son's future!

Tabitha - posted on 05/24/2010

As some one who works with small children and as a mom, I must say that you know your son best. GO with you gut. It will not hurt him to take Kindergarten over again. While he is making gains now every child back slides a little in the summer and in the long run it will probably benefit him not only educationally but also maturity wise. good luck with your decision.

Michelle - posted on 05/23/2010

My son did two years of Kindergarten and he is doing really well, I would go with your gut spend the extra year in K and then continue on with gr.1 he will just be one of the oldest instead of the youngest in class, and according to my sons gr.3 teacher she can definitely tell which kids just made cutoff as they are not as mature as those who had to wait the extra year.

Sherri - posted on 05/21/2010

Go with your gut hold him back. I made the mistake of moving mine along because his teachers kept insisting he was ready. He is still the youngest in his class as he only just makes the cut off date. Well he hit 5th grade and last quarter the rug was pulled out from under him. We realize we should have kept him back as his young age really is making a huge difference in him being able to keep up. Sixth grade came and he has struggled from day 1 it has been plain horrible. Now he is truly paying the price because I didn't go with my gut feeling from the get go.