How can i get my kids to behave in public ?

Sabrina - posted on 10/28/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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How can i get my boys to behave when we are out in public without spanking them? any suggestions would help.

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Kelli - posted on 10/28/2009

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I know this sounds hard but it worked with my kids. When we were out in public, like at the mall and they threw a tantrum or were running around, if they didn't listen I stopped what I was doing and we all left and went home. I know sometimes you need the things you have gone out for but if done consistently it works. It works really well especially if you are grocery shopping and it doesn't get done and all there is to eat is what they don't like to eat. Another thing is, I set ground rules. For example, no running, no yelling, no asking for things. Simple rules help. If they broke one of these rules we would all just go home. They really didn't like if they couldn't get something from the dollar store (which i put a $1.00 limit on). Every time we go somewhere, even to a friends house, i make them tell me the rules and if they don't obey them we simply leave.

Krissy - posted on 02/11/2011

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do they behave at home? that's the first step... second step is refusing to take them places THEY want to go until they behave.

Cassy - posted on 02/10/2011

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I just posted about something similar! I don't spank at my house I use time out. That way I can take the punishment with me to the store, restaurant, friends house etc. If he starts acting out he gets one warning and a reminder that if he does it again he's going to time out. If he does it again we find a corner or a private spot ((outside at a restaraunt or corner in the bathroom)) and he serves his time out there. After a couple of times he's the best behaved kid no matter where we are. I don't use the "we're going home" because a lot of times that's what they want. They're bored of shopping or whatever it is you need to be doing. I try to keep him involoved so that he's not bored. If we're grocery shopping I'll give him the list and tell him to read what we need, he's 3 so he's obviously not really reading it, but whatever he can think of or whatever he likes he'll start "reading" off. I also use the "let's go look over here and see what they have." Or I'll substitute it with something like "let's go see if they have any cars ((whatever they like)) over here." Just a few things that might help! And I just realized how old this conversation is! Oh well, it might help someone lol

Erin - posted on 10/28/2009

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I usually just tell them "alright now we are going home" and they will snap out of it and behave, it usually works and i have only had to actually take them home a couple of times, then they knew i meant it!!

Malik - posted on 10/28/2009

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You have to let that child know that you are the parent and when you say something that's what it is period. You have to separate being a mom and a friend you have to make your child respect you and also don't let other people tell you how to raise your child. You have to let your child know that you are not playing.

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Sylvia - posted on 02/11/2011

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Well, don't take this the wrong way, but I have a feeling part of the problem is that you're spanking them. If that's the main consequence you use for unacceptable behaviour, and you're not willing to impose that consequence in public, they're going to take advantage of that (just as they will probably let their behaviour slide when you're not around to wallop them), and who can blame them? That's just one reason to discipline kids in ways that aren't deliberately humiliating and painful: whatever you do at home, you can do at the park, the skating rink, the library, the subway station, the grocery store, etc.

Erin also makes a good suggestion -- when you're out someplace that they like, telling them they can't stay there unless they can behave appropriately can be VERY effective. (Unfortunately this tends not to work so well at places you need to be that bore them out of their tree LOL.)

It also depends a lot on the kids' ages. An 8-year-old is capable of much more than a 2-year-old with respect to context-appropriate behaviour.

Leanna - posted on 10/28/2009

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great question! i cant mine to behave either for a split second. then off again.

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