How can I get my two 5 year olds to behave in school!

Michelle - posted on 09/10/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

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My two 5 year olds just started kindegarden and have acted up everyday. They were in the more at four program last year so they know how to act. what can I do???

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Decimus - posted on 04/22/2014

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Whatever you do don't put them on amphetamines ('adhd' drugs). It will cause irreversible brain damage.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/ritalin-m...

http://www.nature.com/npp/journal/v39/n2...

http://www.jneurosci.org/content/27/27/7...

http://www.mclean.harvard.edu/news/press...

http://www.jneurosci.org/content/22/16/7...

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/200...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...


Try better parenting. Or finding them an adult male friend or a compassionate older boy as a babysitter. Bad behavior in boys is often caused by lack of attention from an older male who can be a friend and role model.

Kimberly - posted on 09/11/2009

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It's been a while since I've had a 5 year old. My son is 14 years old now, but when he was in kindergarden he was a mess. I'm going to tell you what i did. After so many times of him acting out in school, I took a belt to the fatty part of his butt. I explained to him why i spanked his bottom. I took 2 to 3 days out of the week to sit in his classroom. I explained to him that his behavior in class was affecting his grades, and that he would not be rewarded for bad grades. He seen that I was more involved and his behavior started to change for the better. Now, I'm not telling you to beat your child because their not my kids and I have nothing to do with how you raise them. My bible tells me, spare the rod, spoil the child. There is a difference between a spanking on the but, and beating & abusing your child. Anyway, it worked for me. He'll be a freshman in high school next school year playing junior varsity on the football team. One day I'll share my story about my 23 year old who I spared the rod with, and the outcome of that.

Angela - posted on 09/11/2009

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my sons did the same thing! With my oldest son, who is now 10, we let me pick out something special when he came home with good remarks for 5 days straight. It was a struggle but he finally got it and was so excited that he did much better. His school did colors and if he stated on green, which was good, then we counted that as a great day. Over time it will get better. He just needs time to adjust. My 6 year old is now going through the same thing.

Maura - posted on 09/11/2009

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Are they in the same class? Maybe they need to be separated. Don't tell them they must behave because they must go to school but tell them you will take them out of school if they don't behave and they will be the only kids NOT going of their age. There might even be tears at the thought. Be firm and don't lose your nerve or your resolve, get them in line now as it gets harder as they get older. The first day that there is no complaint needs to be praised, a lot. If they can get two or three days together they get a treat and loads of praise.

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Maribel - posted on 09/17/2009

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Wow!! It is nice to know that I'm not the only one with a child that doesn't listen or misbehaves at school. I like the rewards system. Good luck with the discipline.

Julie - posted on 09/17/2009

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My seven year old who is in 3rd grade now and should know better is acting the same way. He has been in school for almost 2 months and he has already broughten home 4 behavioral notes! We decided that he was old enough to get an allowance, so at the end of every week, if he has behaved at school and at home, we give him his allowance of $10... if he gets into trouble at school and has to pull a card, he does not get anything. And he loves his DS games!!!

Melissa - posted on 09/14/2009

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We overcame this exact situation with a white board and gold star stickers. Our now 7 year old had issues at kindergarten, everyday the teacher would use a stamp on this kids hand if they had a good day. A stamp on the hand warranted a sticker on the board for that day of the week. At weeks end 5 stars earned you a treat, baskin robbins, a movie rental, etc. 4 stars gets you nothing, is hard to stick to this because you almost feel the need to reward them for trying so hard, but stick to your guns. It worked, we are now starting the same system with our 4 yr old who tested into kindergarten and is on probation with the school, so we absolutely need to have good days or she will be removed from school. Good luck to you!!

Colleen - posted on 09/13/2009

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I would go with the new environment theory...especially at the beginning. Try consistent positive reinforcement (if they come home on green, etc). We had this problem with my 6 year old last year in Kindergarten. Nothing seemed to work. We finally had him tested and found out he has mild ADD. He is now on daily medication (the lowest dosage possible) and has had a positive report every day so far. It has really changed both his and our lives.

Lori - posted on 09/13/2009

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My son is 5 (almost 6) and has been in school since he was 2? Right now his major problem in school is talking over the teacher.. So, I've just been trying differnt things, such as no tv, or time out if he misbehaves. Hasn't really worked anyways so if any one has any other suggestions I'm ALL EARS!

Sherry - posted on 09/13/2009

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My six year old get's an alLowance. $2.00 a day but he get's $2.00 a day taken away if he's bad in school. He also has chore's to do, such as feeding the dog's, checking the mailbox... I think he's doing better everyday.

Gail - posted on 09/13/2009

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Their testing the bounderies to see how far they can go. Its up to the person in charge to (take charge) and regain control. If children dont know who's in control, they feel insecure. The kindergarden needs to take some responsibility for the way your children behave in their care. Afterall THEIR in charge arn't they!!!
Good luck.....it won't last long, once they have settled in, they will settle down.

Gail

Cazz - posted on 09/12/2009

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my son is 6 now but last year we had no end of mischeif from him but this year we made a big fuss about how lovely his teacher is and how proud we are over his good boy stickers but we have also said if hes good at school then before he goes to bed he can have a packet of stickers for his sticker book ( ben 10 lol) and whilst hes not been good every single second every day hes mellowed out as he gets a pack and not just one sticker its a nice pre bedtime quiet chilled activity so shouldnt interupt with bedtimes either, hope this helps, cazz x

Leonora - posted on 09/11/2009

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I think all Moms undergo with this problem BUT my son is kinda behave now at school..Just always remind him to be good and constant communication..I always ask my son how was his school..Also, I believe school environment affects our child's behavior. Make sure your child is enjoying the school he is enrolled..If not, try to find another school and bring him with you. He will feel if that school is welcoming to him or not.. Yes, school environment really matters..

Deanna - posted on 09/11/2009

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ok i have a 6 year old that had the same problem last year. we had to stay on top of him in the way that if he had a good day then when he got home we let him know that that was great and he got to do something he like to do like pick a game for us to play or he got to play on the computer or thing like that. but if he had a bad day then he lost thing like his tv time or he had to extra jobs around the house and he did not get the priviledges that he realy liked. he is so much better this year he still has problem once in a while so we have to keep it going on it but has worked so good luck with your boys

Melissa - posted on 09/11/2009

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I have a six year old in first grade and she did the same in kindergarden and I am still having the same thing happing now so if you find out how please let me know!!

Akilah - posted on 09/11/2009

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My son is 4 and has been in daycare since he was a baby and they have different rooms for the different ages that slowly get them ready for school. Currently he's in the 4-5 yr olds room thats also the pre-k classroom, each child has a pocket w/ their name on it w/ a color that signifies how they were that day, Green = Good, Yellow = Warning, Red = had be put in time out multiple times. One week my son was on Red for the entire week b/c he wasn't listening, misbavhing during reading time, wouldn't do what he was supposed to (you get the idea). Normally my son is very good at school but he tends to follow other kids in his class so will act up w/ them. I talked to him about acting this way every day but when he kept on doing it at the end of the week I had had enough. I made him go into his room and take out all of his toys and put them in my closet, I took out and apart his train table, removed all stuffed animals and closed up his play closet (I seriously tied a rope around the door knobs so he couldn't sneak and open it up). If it wasn't clothes or books it was taken away, he wasn't allowed to watch tv or movies or have his favorite light up shoes. I told him that those things are what you earn when your good not when your bad, and he had to be on green at school for an entire week before he could get any of them back, Which he did and has continued to be good and no longer plays w/ the kids that got him in trouble (his choice not my request). ***Warning*** THIS WAS NOT CONVIEANT TO ME AS I HAD A BUNCH OF TOYS IN MY CLOSET I KEPT TRIPPING ON AND I HAD TO FIND ALTERNATIVE THINGS FOR HIM TO DO WHILE I DID HOUSE WORK RATHER THAN LETTING HIM WATCH SESAME STREET OR A MOVIE (AND THERE WERE TIMES I REALLY WANTED THAT BREAK BUT HAD TO REMAIN STRONG) BUT WE BOTH CAME OUT OF IT OK.

Jeannie - posted on 09/11/2009

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Chances are it's the big change from a new class, new teacher, new routine and being a BIG KID as opposed to being in the 3K and 4K classrooms, it is different and they are

gearing them up to go to 1st grade and be more independent and chances are he's just

reacting to to all of the change, unless he's being that disruptive in school, or home and

hurting someone or himself, hopefully just giving him some extra love, attention and letting

him know you're here to talk to him or just give him a hug if he needs it and pray it blows

over after he adjusts to the new routine/class etc ...... Good Luck!

I know as a parent it's hard to sit by and see you child changing and going through something like this ....... just be there for him and he'll adjust I'm sure!

Focus more on the positive things he does and less on the negative will help too .... otherwise he'll just act up more I'm sure.

Lisa - posted on 09/11/2009

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My daughter was in preschool last year and this year started kindergarten. I told her that I expect her to follow the same rules at school as we have at home, in addition to any new ones the school has, and that as long as I get her weekly report as all good, we'll go to the playground or something weather-appropriate on Saturdays. This past weekend was her first report, and it was good. We went to my grandmother's house for Labor Day and she got to play with my little sisters (ages 10 and 7, who she ADORES!) so I counted that as her special treat -- she sure did!

I would agree with everyone who recommended making sure they're in separate classes. My daughter's best friend lives down the street and went to preschool with her.. we've been lucky in that they've never been in the same class.. for their teachers' sake!! If they have each other nearby, they'll be more interested in interacting than paying attention.

Ilene - posted on 09/10/2009

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My five year old just started kindergarten. On his first day of school Wednesday, the teacher told me that "he didn't listen in class". My thought on this was..."It's his first day of kindergarten!" Yes he had two years of preschool before this but give it a break..he had three months of summer vacation and is starting at a new school with new classmates and a new teacher. Today he was better, so I am hoping he will continue to get better.

Marina - posted on 09/10/2009

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Are they in the same classroom? work with the school in stetting up a positive reward system...first id when exactly the time frame the behaviors occur. then set up a system with teacher. if there are 8 periods in the day the child gets a smiley face for each period he is only redirected 3 times.. if more that three rediections then a frown...if they make 6 out of 8 period... mom reward at home with either a daily reward or a token system that they can collect coins an turn them in for a special treat... the guidance counselor has charts that can be used at school as well as at home.. or check out freebehaviorcharts.com

Carmen - posted on 09/10/2009

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You know I had the same problem with my now 7 year old when he was five. He had gone to preschool, and then I had him go during the summer because I wanted him to be ready for kindergarden. I honestly feel that sometimes we ask too much of our kids. As for my son I knew he just needed a summer break. Just some time to enjoy the summer and be a kid. His kindergarden year was a struggle, but after his summer break it was like a new kid entering the first grade.

Michelle - posted on 09/10/2009

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Quoting Lisa:

Maybe its just an adjustment to a new environment. Is there annother child who they act up with? Any change in a childs routine can be a big upset to them, maybe it will just take some time. Good luck.



thank you !

Lisa - posted on 09/10/2009

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Maybe its just an adjustment to a new environment. Is there annother child who they act up with? Any change in a childs routine can be a big upset to them, maybe it will just take some time. Good luck.

Michelle - posted on 09/10/2009

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Ok I will and my daughter has been in daycare since she was 4 months old so she knows better!!!!! lol

Dawn - posted on 09/10/2009

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It's not really advice just letting you know I'm going through the same thing as you. My 5 yr old is in 1st grade and misbehaving as well. He's been in school since he was 6 months old. So if you get any or good advice, please pass it on to me. :)

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