How do i get my kids clean up without screaming???

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Nikki - posted on 12/28/2009

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we have star charts where if the kids listen and clean up the earn a star at the end of the week the can buy thing with the stars u can use marbles buttons what ever when we started so they would understand we offered "prizes" every day the spaced them out as they got better the kids now pick out a toy on the weekend and work towards earning it. if they want somthing bigger they have to save up their stars there is a "price on each star and they can buy something for as much as they have or something to work for over the week or even 2 if they throw a fit then they have to pay u a star after 3 warnings so they can't say that u are just taking them for nothing. i started this when my oldest was 3 and she caught on quick now my almost 2 yp gets it and love to help to clean up help with dinner anything that can earn her a star! when we started we made sure the prizes where little like bouncey balls playdoh now my oldest now 9 has even saved up for 4 weeks for a pair of earings and 3 weeks for a purse my son is 5 and it is harder for him to save them but i always have a few prises for him to work for so he has a choice of what he wants and see what he is working for good luch!!!!!

Mahria - posted on 01/02/2010

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Simply, do not scream. If you are a screamer they will be confused at first. Just keep up the non screaming and mean what you say. If you say your punished for 24 hours, stick to it. You will find that very quickly the cleaning will get done. And you did not have to do any work. My ten year old son has been cleaning his room by himself since he was 2, I did not have to sing or dance for it either. Remember, you are the parent not them.

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Ginny - posted on 01/03/2010

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Make it a game! And depending on the age-YOU clean it ONCE and then explain the rules. 1. If I come into a room with toys on the floor or scattered I get to put them in MY bag, which when it is full, YOU get to give it to the local salvation army, Freecycle or we take the stuffed animals to the local hospitals-The first time is hard, but after that you are good to go! My children have been cleaning after themselves since they were 2!
BEAR is a great DVD with cleaning and cleaning songs while they are cleaning. Hope this helps.

Jakki - posted on 01/02/2010

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Our house is the messiest house in the whole suburb, so no one should take advice from me!

But one thing that works is to make them do some tidying up before they get something they want (eg watching a DVD or eating something yummy). And before the kids start a new activity they have to clean up the last one. That's very obvious but often difficult to enforce.

Christina - posted on 01/02/2010

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My first question to you Caryn is how old are your children? What might work for little kids, might not work of older ones. I took a parenting class when my 1st one was 1yr old and there I was told that little kids under age 3 or 4 don't really get the concept of "clean your room". So what they suggested was send you child in to the room with one specifice thing to do at a time, like "go pick up all the books and put them on the shelf" (showing them if need be), then when they come back and are done with that, send them back with new specific orders like "now pick up all the cars/dolls and put them in the red box" and so on and so on. Provide a place for everything and by the time they are older "go clean your room" works because they now know what belongs where. NOW, if you have older kids, most of the time rewards and "take aways" work great. Keep your cool, don't let them see you sweat! You could for example say "before you can go outside, your room needs to be clean", they answer you "well, I don't want to go outside!" You keep your cool---then when everybody else is going to Mcdonalds for lunch or dinner (or going out some where else - movie,etc.), well then, that child "can't go outside" until the room is clean and better hurry up and clean before we all leave......See How That Works? Mcdonalds might not work, however sooner or later there will be something that child really wants to do outside of your house and he/she will clean that room. You will need much patience for this one. Good Luck and I hope some of all the suggestions you get, work.

Jeanna - posted on 01/01/2010

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well, I started early and that helped but now if I tell them to pick up the playroom and they don't want to, I basically put them in there and close the door. I tell them they can take as long as they want (they like to move really slowly picking up) but they will not come out to eat, play,go to bed, etc until it is done. Even when bedtime comes, they have to stay in there . Pottying is the only reason to leave the room. Then downstairs when they here me, Daddy and their big sister playing and having fun suddenly they are motivated to clean and come downstairs to join us. Or if they get really tired they do the job. That way I don't have to listen to whining and there is no other option. Be committed, stick to your guns and go on about your day and they will do it, I bet. They eventually will get tired of staying in there and realize you mean what you say. Usually kids out last us and we give up. That's the worse thing you can do!

Also, I have picked up toys that were left out and not picked up when they were told and they are not allowed to play with them until they have consistently picked up for a few days, week, whatever you decide. That can be very persuading especially when it is some of their favorite toys. Good luck!!

Sue - posted on 01/01/2010

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When my kids were younger, we had star charts, but now that they are 14 and 12, this doesn't really work. So we introduced pocket money, and if they don't do their chores which include cleaning, they don't get any pocket money. Which means that they also cannot buy the things that they are saving up for. This does not always work, but give it a try if your kids are older.

Janet - posted on 12/31/2009

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I have kids ranging from 31 years old to 14 years old, and Grandkids ranging from 12 years old to 5 years old. I have found the best idea I came up with was when they did not want to clean up, I would say okay, then I would go to the cabinet and get out trash bags and start throwing away ( at least they thought I was going to throw away ) their stuff. You should see how fast they move when they think they will never see that toy again. My older kids say they still hated that I did that to them but it did work.

Gina - posted on 12/30/2009

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I offer my children an allowance for cleaning up. It seems to have worked out pretty good.

Anita - posted on 12/30/2009

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I have created an A4 size chart for each of my four children on the computer. It has 8 columns: column 1 has each day of the week, columns 2-6 have the same chore for each day, ie make bed, clean teeth etc, column 7 has a rotating chore. For example the 2 older children rotate the dishwasher job, the two younger rotate laundy and feeding animals. The last column is for the tick or cross. I laminated them and put them in a spot easily accessible for them to see each day. With a red whiteboard marker I put an X beside the day they didn't do everything, and with a green whiteboard marker I put a tick beside the day they did to everything on their list. The rule is more ticks than x's results in a good week and more Xs instead of ticks a bad week. This is then marked against a weekly calendar for the year and more ticks results in a birrthday party, more x's no birthday party. I've only been using this idea for a couple of weeks and slowly, slowly it seems to be working. All I have to say is "done your chores" and they run to the wall where there chart is. Good luck.

Dusty - posted on 12/30/2009

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me too. all my kids. my 2 yr old will help put clothes on hangers but that is it. my older kids are too old for the clean up song so they got a little cd player for their room to listen to music while cleaning. but they end up playing more so I just take toys away or ground them. we help them, at times.

Angelique - posted on 12/30/2009

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Heres my trick, it only works on the little ones though. My kids are in religious classes so when I tell them about there chores and whine, or don't want to do it, or give a little remark about it I would simply say to them "God sees and hears everything, he don't like ugly, and what you doing right now is ugly", they get to clean after that.

Brandi - posted on 12/30/2009

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When you find the answer please let me know!!! I have to ask repeatedly and it drives me nuts...

Kimberly - posted on 12/29/2009

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In addition to making it fun and working with them, it is also a good idea to set a good example yourself and have whatever other adults living with them also pick up after themselves. If your children are older, you can also pick your battles - tell them that they need to have their room clean by X time, that way they feel like they have control, their room gets clean, and they get a lesson in time management, particularly if they can't do something that they want to do because their room isn't cleaned. Competition works well in my house, as does working with them, but I still have to put up with a certain amount of resistance when getting them started. My boys (6 & 8) want Nintendo DSis, but I have told them that until they can take care of their toys on their own, I won't be getting them one. It hasn't motivated them too much yet, but I expect as they see all of their friends getting and playing with them, they'll change their tunes! Good luck.

Angie - posted on 12/29/2009

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I just tell my kids to clean their rooms and they do - they haven't always. When they didn't clean their rooms a couple of times, I donated their toys that weren't put away to Goodwill. They don't give me any trouble anymore.

Stacey - posted on 12/29/2009

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Routine, Routine, Routine! Start the first few days or a week gettin them started, play some up beat music, then after that first week, u say okay, its time, crank the tunes and hopefully they will be in the Routine of things!! Screaming never gets anywhere! I know because I also have my moments but it is honestly a backward spiral if the screaming starts, everyone upset, u feel bad, they are feelin bad, it is just very unproductive! Good Luck!

Mandi - posted on 12/28/2009

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Good suggestions on here about it being fun and some rewards. We do this but when it is not working we also have the punishment side. If things aren't put away as they have been asked to and I have to do it they are gone and don't return until an appropriate time and they have to be earned up back with good behaviours. My daughter has quickly learned to clean up her room as asked and collect the rewards rather than leaving things lying around and having Mum "clean them up".

Mandi - posted on 12/28/2009

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Good suggestions on here about it being fun and some rewards. We do this but when it is not working we also have the punishment side. If things aren't put away as they have been asked to and I have to do it they are gone and don't return until an appropriate time and they have to be earned up back with good behaviours. My daughter has quickly learned to clean up her room as asked and collect the rewards rather than leaving things lying around and having Mum "clean them up".

Yahreevah - posted on 12/28/2009

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I just tell my son...that cleanliness is of GOD. I put on music, and thats how we clean up together. My good friend has 6 children and they all sing and use music as well.

Corrie - posted on 12/28/2009

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Make it fun for them. Sing the clean up song or turn it into a game to see who can clean up the most red toys or who will put away the most blocks etc.

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