How do I stop my 7 yr old daughter s tantrums?

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My little fgirl has just turned 7 and she has started having terrible tantrums when something doesn't go her way. She is a middle child, my stepson is 14 and her little brother is 2, and she is jealous of any attention they get. I am at my wits end with her. do you guys have any tips for me?

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Ciara - posted on 08/05/2009

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My 8 yr old son has had this problem since his brother was born, I think its a jealousy issue personally. Its gotten so bad that now my almost 2 year old throws the same kinds of fits.. it's ridiculous! I wish I knew how to stop it! Best of luck!

Jessi Palmer - posted on 08/05/2009

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I am having the same problem with my 7 year old son. As we see the tantrum approaching, we start giving warnings about remaining calm and explaining why things don't always go her way. He is slowly getting better, but it is still a struggle.

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2009

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I take her to counsling because she has seen violence when she was a baby and still remembers them. they tell me she is bi-polar how ever my advice to you is the same that I got use a reward chart for behavior if she don't throw a tatrum then give her a point and at the end of the day she can cash them in for a reward don't have to spend money maby a reward could be a hour at the park before bed or some tv time with parents you come up with the reward. and remember the easy they come the easy they go away

Slim - posted on 07/30/2009

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Spend time with all three on a one-on-one basis. From what I have heard and observed from family and friends are that middle-children, whether you mean to or not, gets less attention. The older has more freedom, and the younger as to be nurtured more. Give time to all together and separately. Let her help you cook. Measure water and pour in the pot. Whether positive or negative attention the child will get it from you. So you make sure you give it.

If that don’t work, I agree time-outs or a spanking (or the combo of both) could help. As a matter of fact, I combined, more time, with ignoring a minor tantrum, to spanking and sending for a time-out for the more than minor ones. That combo got my little one right within a matter of days. Your 2 year old is learning how to work mommy from the 7 year old. Stop it NOW!

Megan - posted on 07/28/2009

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give her more attention when she is being good, when she has a tantrum you should make sure she is looking at you listening and tell her you will talk to her when she has calmed down. You really have to do what you say as hard as it is, then eventually she will associate good behaivour and attention instead of vice-versa. Also when you notice she is being good make sure you tell her, kids love being told that they are good.

Jennifer - posted on 07/28/2009

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Has anything recently changed in her life? Has her diet changed? Does she act any differently otherwise? While it could be developmental, there could be something medical going on. Do you make sure that she gets some time with you without her siblings?

Veronica - posted on 07/27/2009

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The best thing is don't get mad! Be calm and talk to her in a calming voice. Get down to her level, kneel so it will be eye to eye. Kids don't understand a lot of things, so try to explain in a way she will understand. Don't give in no matter how bad it gets. Most of all give her the love and attention she needs. Don't spank, don't send her into a corner (that never works and personally it's demeaning,) and don't reward for her bad behavior.

Brandy - posted on 07/27/2009

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It depends on the type of tantrum. Some throw tantrums so that they can get their way. Those can be stopped by mocking them and showing them how they look. Then there are the tantrums caused by a sort of brain overlode. It's a genetic thing, mostly in children who inherited an anger management gene (daddy beat mommy and they got that gene from him) that causes them to shut down, they can't see or hear what's going on around them they're outt of control and don't know how to regain control of themselves. I haven't yet learned how to stop that one.

Jeanette - posted on 07/27/2009

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Send her to her room to sit there and do NOTHING for 1 minute per age. Timer does not start until tantrum stops!!

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