How do you deal when your child starts school?

Sarah - posted on 08/30/2010 ( 37 moms have responded )

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My son started Kindergarten and im not taking it well!!! im a SAHM and i've been with him since the day he was born, i send him to pre-k but that was only 3 hours, this is different he is gone all day!!! i guess you can say im one of those worriers, im so scared something will hahppen to my child. please help me get peace of mind.

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Crystal - posted on 09/09/2010

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All I can say is try homeschooling...this is my first year homeschooling my 2 daughters and I love it...I too missed them when they were gone all day and I hated all the homework they would bring home...now I get to spend the day with them and see hands on what they are learning....and no homework..

[deleted account]

Find something to do to destract yourself from the fact that your son is gone all day. Be thankful now that you have all this time for yourself!! Take a nap, read a book, go work out, take a pottery class, I dunno what you like :) School is a great experience. He's going to learn how to socialize with other kids, teachers and learn and do lots of fun stuff!!

Misty - posted on 09/15/2010

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I homeschool! We love it! That way I am in control of what my children learn...and most importantly, what they DONT learn! Maybe homeschooling is an option you might want to look into!

Beth - posted on 09/11/2010

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Actually, I deal quite well with it. Of course, we homeschool! So I get to spend the whole day with the kids everyday. I LOVE IT!!!!

Di - posted on 09/10/2010

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You need to do something- volunteer at your school/ church or community centre, it really does help (well it did for me) Now that all my kids are at school I also work part time! Good luck with your little man and enjoy this time of his life- my baby has just turned 18- thats a whole new set of problems! xx

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Laura - posted on 09/11/2010

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My son started K this year too. I don't know...I didn't have a problem with him going. I was excited for him to start learning more and then be able to share with me all of what he did. I'm a SAHM too and he never left me except to go to PreK which wasn't even all day or all week. I guess my perspective was that it is what it is and you can't change it unless you want to homeschool. I use to teach before so I don't know if that helped. I don't trust anyone, but you really have no choice. Fill your time with a hobby or if you have younger kids still, join a mommy group. Good luck!

Chris - posted on 09/10/2010

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When my daughter started school, I took that time for myself to run errands and do laundry. If I still have time before the bus drops her off, I do some reading and relax. I enjoyed the quiet time quite a bit.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/10/2010

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I'm with Chrissy....I have 2 kids. My little girl started SK the other day and my son started grade 8!!! I can't believe I have a child who will be going into high school next year...OMG still feels like yesterday he started JK. LOL

Valarie - posted on 09/10/2010

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It's hard when they first start going to school. But when he gets home just ask him how his day was. Also let him know what he shouldn't be doing & why (so he doesn't wonder). Maybe that will help out a bit. But things will get better...

Elizabeth - posted on 09/10/2010

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Join the PTA! You will be involved in the school, getting to know other parents. You will realize that a lot of parents feel the way you do. I am a SAHM too. Give yourself a break, what's it been a week! You will find that you will come down once you find more to keep your hands busy. And remember that most JK/SK teachers are very caring, and loving individuals. It takes a special person to be a good teacher.

Heather - posted on 09/10/2010

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My oldestustred kindergarden this year as well. I think I cried harder the day he told me that he could walk into the school by himself and didnt need to have me come with him. My best advice is that trust that the teacher is there to protect your child. Its hard the first couple weeks, but when they come home and show you lal the work that they have been doing and when you see how proud they are of themselves, its hard to worry too mcuh since they are having so much fun. Maybe go in and talk to the teacher to get a little more peace of mind when it comes to him being gone and away from you through the day.

Crystal - posted on 09/10/2010

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I 3rd the homeschooling.

I homeschool my 6, almost 5 and almost 3 year old. I love being their teacher, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

[deleted account]

First of all, what do you think will happen to your son? Do some volunteer work, especially at your son's school. Schools love volunteers and you are at the school for whatever reason you can think in the way of something will happen. It's important to learn to let your child start developing freedom from you, you are not going to be in his face all his life.

Flo - posted on 09/09/2010

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I agree that homeschooling is a wonderful thing and your kids can get a better education since the adult to child ratio isn't 25 to 1 plus the no homework things is a bonus... Homeschool gets a bad rep. but really it can be a wonderful experience.

Steph - posted on 09/09/2010

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mrs. peralta, i hear ya.. my daughter just started kindergarten. i cried her first day. i am also a SAHM. she has never away from me,more then an hour or so..then when she came home on her 3rd day of kinder she was sad it was written all over her face i asked her what was wrong and she said she had a bad day kids laugh at her and said they weren't her friend, it broke my heart and my blood bolded she is such a sweet little girl. i thought if this keeps up i will want to home school her, but i don't want to keep from experiences for the real world. all i can do is pray

Terri - posted on 09/09/2010

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Hi Sarah!

I know where you are coming from. I hated being away from my little girl (and I still do). I worry a lot too- good parents worry. It's not always as safe a world as we'd like it to be. I found what worked for me- and you might be able to do this too, since you're a SAHM- spend more time at his school! Volunteer! I find that the PTA/PTL usually are hurting for help because not that many parents get involved. You could also give class time to his teacher- with cutbacks she/he probably needs the help. This way you also get to see how your son is doing, you get to meet his friends, and you get to spend time with him and look out for any potential trouble. I hope it helps.

Chrissy - posted on 09/09/2010

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It's hard at first, but like everyone else said, find something to do with your time for yourself! I cried when my youngest started the first day of Kindergarten and was a wreck until she came home, but realized when she got off the bus excited and talking a mile a minute that she did ok, and that it was good for her to go and be around other kids her own age. I now have a 6th, 4th, and a 1st grader, and I cried when school started this year....I was not ready to be a mom to a middle schooler yet!! But it does get better! ~hugs~

Karen - posted on 09/09/2010

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I understand your pain Sarah. When my son started school I would go spend the day helping my mother with her cleaning job to keep my mind off the fact my baby wasn't with me. And twice a week I was a classroom parent and took my son and his class outside for recess and participated in the little holiday parties they had. He is in 4th grade now and I STILL miss him when he is at school. He is an only child and I am a SAHM also. With him getting older and beginning to force some independence for himself I have started school myself. Oddly enough he doesn't fuss about his homework load as much since he's seen what I have to do. LOL

Elaine - posted on 09/09/2010

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my oldest just started K and I am shocked at how much it has affected me. i was a K teacher for 8 yrs and always told parents everything is going to be ok and kids adjust fine, etc. The kids do adjust fine, its the moms who have the hardest times. I have a 2 yr old at home so he keeps me busy but I think you should volunteer at the school and then do things for yourself the other days. You could always make him something special for when he gets home once in awhile to show him you missed him.
I am sure he is safe at school. Just make sure you talk about his day and remember to ask specific questions, not open-ended ones. You will get more info with specific questions.
Lots of moms are going thru this right now, we are all in the same boat! Good Luck!

Flo - posted on 09/08/2010

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I was a wreck when my kids started school, not that I thought anything would happen to them. I just plain miss them when they are at school. I still have a hard time the beganning of the school yr. but I get involved in the school. I run the school store and help on PTO I am in each classroom once a week and help with RIFF a reading program here. That is how I cope... Get involved and you will be able to see your son and the people who will be dealing with your child... I am a stay at home mom, my kids are my life... Good luck.

Amanda - posted on 09/08/2010

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this is what my sons teacher sent home the first day of kindergarten it might make u misty eyed but it might help too just remember he loves you and you have to let him grow up a lil... i was in your same shoes my son was my man always with me everyday all day its hard but try and keep yourself busy find another sahm and see if you can go to lunch or grab coffee call your mom and talk for an hour it will all help :) be strong it gets better

A TOUCH OF LOVE



YOU WERE 6 MONTHS OLD AND FULL OF FUN.

WITH A BLINK OF AN EYE, YOU WERE SUDENLY 1.

THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS WE WERE GOING TO DO,

BUT, I TURNED MY HEAD AND YOU WERE 2.

AT 2 YOU WERE VERY DEPENDENT ON ME.

BUT INDEPENDANCE TOOK OVER WHEN YOU TURNED 3.

YOUR THIRD BIRTHDAY, ANOTHER YEAR I TRIED TO IGNORE,

BUT WHEN I LIT THE CANDLES, THERE WEREN'T 3, BUT 4.

4 WAS THE YEAR THAT YOU REALLY STRIVED.

WHY, LOOK AT YOU NOW YOU'RE ALREADY 5.

NOW YOU ARE READY FOR BOOKS AND FOR RULES.

THIS IS THE YEAR THAT YOU GO TO SCHOOL.

THE BIG DAY CAME, YOU WERE ANXIOUS TO GO.

WE WALKED TO THE BUS, GOING OH, SO SLOW.

AS YOU CLIMBED ABOARD AND WAIVED GOODBYE,

I FELT A LUMP IN MY THROAT AND TEARS STUNG MY EYE.

TIME GOES SO FAST, IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE

THAT JUST YESTERDAY YOU WERE HOME WITH ME.

AND TOMORROW WHEN THE BUS BRINGS YOU HOME AND YOU JUMP TO THE GROUND,

YOU'LL BE WEARING YOUR CAP AND GRADUATION GOWN.

SO, IM HOLDING TO THESE MOMENTS AS HARD AS I CAN,

BECAUSE THE NEXT TIME I LOOK, I'LL BE SEEING A MAN.

Candace - posted on 09/07/2010

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Volunteer at your school!! I consider it my job as a SAHM to volunteer for all field trips, class activities, and anything else they might need help with. There are so many parents out there that can't do those things because they have to work full time. You are fortunate enough to stay at home with your son, but your job isn't over! Make arrangements with the teacher to see if you can make a special trip in for show and tell. Last year we brought in our pet skunk, brought in the guitars my husband made and some amplifiers for the kids to rock out with, and I went on all but 1 of the field trips. The only one I didn't get to go on was the one to the local fire station, since it was right here in town, and only 3 blocks from the school. I was kind of disappointed, because the firemen picked the kids up at school in the firetrucks, and all the kids got to ride on top of the trucks!! I TOTALLY wanted to ride on the firetrucks! All the kids in my daughters class knew me by sight and name, because they saw me so often. Ask if you can give the teacher a break by being a recess supervisor!! But also take this opportunity to do something to expand your own life. Join a local group, volunteer at a local charity. Anything that you will feel good about and will set a great example for your son. I'm a member of a group called the Blue Thong Society. They're nationwide, and if you don't have a chapter in your area, start one yourself!! But above all, don't fret, because if your son sees that you're upset about him going to school, it's going to make HIM upset about going to school. Oh, another thing you might want to consider. Stop in and have lunch with your son. Stand in line with him, or pack something special for him and sit next to him at the tables. I have had some of the most interesting conversations at the kindergarten lunch table. My daughter started 1st grade a few weeks ago, and I'm looking forward to all that the fun it will bring both of us!!

Christy - posted on 09/05/2010

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I think volunteering at the school is a great idea. being a SAHM gives you the advantage. You can volenteer for just about anything at schools and even if some might not give you direct contact with your childs class you are still being closer to him. I am not one to cry when my kids went to school even when my youngest started kindergarten this year but i also work a full time job and welcome the quiet days i am home alone. good luck it will get better

Katrina - posted on 09/05/2010

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I am also a stay at home mom of an 8 year old and a 5 year old. It's all starting to become real to me that both of my babies will be gone. School is such a great place for them to be, I know my 5 year old will love it. I volunteer a lot at the school. I help with our PTA, work the book fairs and volunteer in the classroom. This helps me to stay connected and get comfortable with the teachers and their fellow classmates. When I walk into my sons classroom, the kids know who I am and I know them. Trust me it helps.

Tracy - posted on 09/04/2010

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i think volunteering in the class is a great idea. i did that for kindergarten and first grade before i went back to work and it's great.
you get to see how he's doing, meet the other kids, and get to know his teacher. plus, he sees you're interested and involved in his schooling and that is a great thing for the kids.

also volunteer or be a part of the PTA. i volunteered a lot for our school functions and events. be an active member of your son's school and education. you'll both be the better for it!

and oh yeah, take time for you and enjoy your time for yourself! we don't get a lot of that.

Crystal - posted on 08/31/2010

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I'm so nervous too! My first child starts Kindergarten next week! He only goes for 2.5 hours in the mornings but still, like others, I've been with him from day 1, and now he's 5 and going off. :( I still have my 2.5 yr old daughter to keep me busy, but they are such buddies, I know we'll both miss him so much! I'm just trying to stay strong and know that he'll do so well and have so much fun. :)

[deleted account]

Hello! I remember feeling just how you feel! When my oldest son started kindergarten i was all to pieces. He got on that bus the first day and found his seat and looked out the window at me and blew me a kiss...ahh even now it makes me cry. he was so brave and not scared at all. Even though hes now in 5th grade i worry every day of my life! him getting older didn't make it easier, i just learned to trust in what i have taught him about making good decisions and hope everyone treats him as the wonderful precious treasure he is.

Jennifer - posted on 08/31/2010

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I was the same exact way last year when my son started kindergarten. It broke my heart and I cried on the way home. But what I did was just kept myself busy because I knew if I sat down I'd cry. I went to the store and stayed forever and I cleaned almost my whole entire house. When he got out of school for the day I was the first one there. You should see if your childs school lets parents volunteer. My son's school encourages the parents to volunteer in the classrooms so the teacher has more help. I was there all the time helping out so it helped me. Now my son is in first grade and I'm kind of o.k. with it. But now he's "cool" so God forbid I kiss him in front of his friends or talk to him in front of his friends.

[deleted account]

Well, the truth is either you have to send him to school and be excited for him or try your hand at homeschooling and be excited. Sending him to school while you are worried doesn't help him or you! He will feel more confident because of you. Can you go into his school? I used to go to my son's school when he was in "K" and spend an afternoon helping once a week. I always arrived early to pick him up and always volunteered. Try those things. I eventually took mine out to homeschool when we got in a situation where I could and we love that - but I'm sure you could love him going to school just as much.

[deleted account]

My 4 yr old son is starting school as well in September and I also have many worries. He only goes Mon, Wed, and every other Friday but for full days and has never been in daycare or anything before. He was also diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder earlier this year so this just adds more to my concerns. I am just going to take it day by day and try to remain positive!

Kitty - posted on 08/31/2010

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I THINK you need to just get him in and just go about your Day and not worry about the Day just enjoy your's.. get your things and just go on about the Day then there is no problem get him off the bus and get your routine on shedual

Jennifer - posted on 08/31/2010

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It will take you some time to get adjusted. I am getting ready to send my last child to kindergarten and I am so nervous for him. Once I know he is in a routine and doing ok, then I will be ok. It will get better - that is what everyone is telling me too!!! Just remember if you don't get any phone calls from school, that is a good thing!! Hang in there!!

Angie - posted on 08/30/2010

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I remember that day. I cried all day long and my oldest daughter kept asking if I was okay. It was so lonely without my loud, active boy. It seems like just yesterday that I cried those tears, now I'm crying again because he is a high school senior and will be leaving home before I know it....

Nanci - posted on 08/30/2010

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im actualy still tryn to deal with the fact that my oldest baby just startd pre k last monday... i miss him so much but hes happy especialy when riding the bus so i know he is ok...n no im a worrier too bcuz ive never left my kids newhere./.not even day care.. im a SAHM n my life revolves around him n my toddler rudy who is 2 1/2.. but just know that if he is happy and always smilng n wants to talk about school n his friends then u know he realy likes it n if hes good with it then we should too.. im actualy talkin myself into being ok rite now.. im still a lil worried tho n thats ok too.. but its not crazy worry like the first week.. my youngest misses him too but now he has time to do his own thing instead of following joe around everywhere.. lol.. have u gone to meet the teacher.. i went to that n the first day of school to see how thingsa are dun n i felt a lil better after meetin her n the asst teacher.. they r wonderful ppl who i kno will take care of my boy

Erin - posted on 08/30/2010

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Take some time for yourself but also see if you can volunteer in his classroom one day a week or be a room mother. Being in the classroom some should help reassure you and also you are helping him and his class.

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