How do you deal with a 4yr old with speech delay?

Todd - posted on 05/13/2013

ok im a singal dad seperated about a little over a year ,and we share a daughter (payton ) who is 5 now and has a speach and moter skill delay i feel like im all alone when it comes what to do or if im doing anything right and yet shes always happy to see me and never wants to leave when its time to go back to mommy we have a great bond cause we are inseperable when we are togather . its just i feel boring or under educated when it comes to feeling like im helping her talk sooner we go to theropy twice a week outside of the help she gets in school ,she goes half days right now . dont know if we are gonna let her go to kindergarden next year for obvious reasons i dont know thought maybe if i joined a group i wouldnt feel so alone on all of this you know typical guy stuff (dont ask for direction kind of thing i guess ) anyway if this makes any sense to someone out here could really use some supportive thoughts thanks todd

Emma - posted on 12/02/2012

my daughter is now 12 yrs. old and like you Irene felt the same embarrassed and frustrated.

i wonder what the future hold for her/us and it gives me grave concern as to how she will fully develop like normal child. She have 1x a week speech t. at home. I would have like to have her speech therapy everyday an hour if I could afford but its very expensive as it cost so much for an hour rate. She was brain haemorrhage trauma at birth and suffered fits and only stop fits 4 years ago thank god almighty. The most worrying part is the officials who deals with their statements and please dont allow them to dictate you of school placing your child, they are the people who thinks they know what best for your child but don't let that happen as i had a terrible time with the special needs officers in my borough. Also be aware what you say to the school senco as they are the people who forwards your child developments at school but they are not in favor for your child interest but of course just to push them aside with no care.

Mariella - posted on 07/06/2012

Hi Irene

I know your post is 2 years old, but my son is now 4 yrs old attending pre-school and going to nursery in September. Is having the same problem your daughter was facing, and I keep wondering about the future. How is your child doing now? Has her communication and social skills improved? What did you do to help him? I feel helpless, I try to talk to him all the times but he would totally ignore me if hes not interested in what I'm saying.
Could you be so kind to share your life now with your daughter...

thanks
Mariella

Caroline - posted on 07/02/2012

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Vivek - posted on 06/26/2012

Is your kid talking now after going to school

Carla - posted on 05/02/2012

Zlata, your post touched my heart. I tried clicking on your profile, but couldn't get to your page to post to you. Would you contact me, please?

Zlata - posted on 05/01/2012

Hello I have a son that just turned 5 with a speech delay. My feelings are very similar to your about being embarrassed and such even though I know I shouldn't. His talking has come a long way but he lacks proper social skills and the other kids don't really know how to deal with him. It breaks my heart when I drop him at school and see how he interacts with them. He is very happy and wants so badly to play with them but doesn't really know how. I have done all the tests and met with behaviourists and teachers to try to find a solution but at this point I think theres nothing else to do but encourage him, They said they have no autism of ADD concerns. Just try to teach him and wait, he's a late bloomer. I get so depressed and worry all the time about him having a normal life. He goes to speech and his talking is getting better but he is in a real defiant stage and it's a constant fight with him. Evrything is "NO" and "you're bad go away" I am so exhausted and tired, fighting with him and my husband all the time is sucking the life out of me and all I want to do is disappear. I need help.

Holly - posted on 04/26/2012

If you feel your child has speech delay or language problems ask your doctor to see where your child can get assessed. My child was tested at early age and has been in speech language sessions since he was 2 years old and he is now 4.5 yrs. old and still in speech and language therapy. My son's father denied he had a problem early on but left it for the professionals to give the assessment. I am so greatful for the professionals that did his assessment.

I hope this tip was useful for those that aren't sure. Ask your pediatrician what you can do!

Labreana - posted on 09/22/2011

hey, my child was misdiag. with speeck delay at4 1/2 yrs. old... he stopped talkind at two yrs. we put him in preschool and they offered speech therapy, after almost 8 weeks of preschool he knew his days of the week, and could repeat them. after being evaluated...... he was diag. with Autism. after being in school(kindg.) for only 3 weeks his vocabulary is has exploded in really big understandable words...

so for my child, we labeled eveything and that helped.
your friend
labreana m

Shelly-Ann - posted on 09/15/2011

K let me see sweetie it is okay so she's delayed in speech that is ok...My oldest daughter had speech issues and got tubes right before jr k and she had to go into speech therapy she is great..now my youngest there is my challenge she is 8 was just recently diagnosed with dyslexia with a severe to moderate language delay so she is in speech at school I have to talk to her like she is 5 to put in simpler terms...she still loves her pet shops and us being hubby and I will not stop letting her have them yes we get looks from family members but we don't care we do what needs to be done so don't feel bad it'll get better:)

Sades - posted on 09/14/2011

i have the same exact problem with my son which is more worse because he has 3 languages going on and just now that he is going to be 4 in less then a week and i am barely putting him in preschool and starting speech therapy for him...because he actually mainly babbles more then talk and it is very stressful and you just got to keep telling yourself that it will be okay and hope for the best...

Karen - posted on 03/17/2011

Hi, I just joined the grp 5 days ago and read your post. I have a son that will be 3 in May. We went to a preschool evaluation with the school to determine if he will get services and soeech was a big issue. He's currently getting EI and ABA and is doing well and has come a long way....but he still has some speech issues. He babbles when he tries to initiate free speech that has not been learned. Well, today was a beautiful day and I took him to the park to get more socialization with children. I kept seeing this "look" from the other kids when he attempted to hold a conversation or he would just constantly repeat what they said. I felt so hurt to see the way he was treated...I just wanted to cry (and did when I got home). I feel your frustration. How is your daughter doing now? Hope she has made some great progress and is doing well. I wish you the best.



Karen

Jennifer - posted on 08/21/2010

When I was younger I had to be in speech therapy as well. I wasn't saying any words at 18 months. My mom said the thing that helped me was Raffi. His movies worked wonders. If she is speaking to you and says something wrong you say it right.

You should get her checked for oral motor sensory delay. It's where my tongue doesn't connect with my brain right so there were delays in my speech. There are still delays in my speech on occasion.

Danielle - posted on 08/09/2010

My son had a speech delay and he was behind on things. Ask your local school if they have an Early intervention program. My son did that and headstart since her was 3.

KATERINA - posted on 07/10/2010

Dear Irene,
I thing that your dother will be ok with speech terapy. You will need to gave her support as hugs when she say right the word, taking her to walk just bouth of you and tolk about the nature. Asking her what she is seeing, what colour has a sun and othe simple questins. You can buy her a pet, and she will fill happy (and probably will like to talk to animal because they don't speak, it happen with my cousine when she was small and has a speech problem).
Gave love and support to your child, and you will have result.
All the best!
Kate

Catherine Onyinye - posted on 06/24/2010

Please i don't really understand what this speach delay problem really is.I'm getting scared.My son will be 4yrs this november,he rarely pronounces words correctly...eg Tiscuit for biscuit,Sine for fine.and all that.Does he need the teraphy?.I really want to know please.

Tracy - posted on 06/23/2010

Hi Irene,
She will be just fine. She is only 4, you did the right thing by putting her in speech therapy. This will help a great deal just wait you will start to see the results.She will become a "motor mouth" lol. I have a 5-yr old daughter and she talks, talks, and talks. Every child is different so just have a little patience and pray about it she will be fine. I understand that I may be frustrating but, encourage her to use words instead of gestures. Practice different pronunciations, make it fun, play word games rhyming games. There are so many things that you can do to help your child at home. She will enjoy the time that the two of you spend and it will help you to feel better as well.

Best wishes
Tracy Hogan
Flint,Mi\I

Tina - posted on 06/21/2010

Hi Irene,
I understand completely. My six year old has a speech problem that we just kept putting off dealing with because we have another son with serious behavioral issues. His problems seemed more important than a speech problem. I have had to deal with people ignoring Josh because they could not understand him, kids teasing him, etc. It has affected his behavior, when he is self-conscious he acts out. It is normal to feel frustrated and embarassed but now that you have her in speech it will improve. Don't be hard on yourself and don't feel as if you have to explain anything to people. If they are curious they will ask then you can explain.

Alicia - posted on 06/20/2010

I have one that is like that and she is 7 now, my advice don't worry about the other children each child learns different. She will catch up. Your child is prob smarter in other areas than other children are. My daughter started her speech in kindergarten and she is still in it give her a year with the speech therapist you will see a big difference. See if she qualifies for special ed. My daughters problem was her hearing she had water build up so maybe have her ears checked to.

Carol - posted on 06/20/2010

your daughter had a speech delayand hearing loss we had her in speech theapery also she is talking fine now and there is some thing you can do at home to help your daughter and that is when you talk to her make shure she is looking at you and get her to put her hand on you face close to you mouth so she can see the words comming out of your mouth and fell the vivratrations of the words it sount strange but it works for when she goes to repeat the word you put her had on her face to do the same she will fell the sam vivratrations alos and this will help her to talk better.

Victoria - posted on 06/20/2010

My daughter started early intervention for speech at 3 also. She is now 8 and with an amazing speech therapist she is now only working on her "r" sounds in the middle need lots of patience, she must talk slowly and repeat herself. When she starts to get impatient tell her to take a deep breath. My daughter was in an inclusion program at our local school and it was great, because all the kids learned to accept each other no matter what there disability.

Helen - posted on 06/20/2010

Hi, My 6 year old had speech sound delay, which was out down to her being prem and having amazingly small ear canals (strange). After fighting for 2 years with the medics and health authority I finally got her therapy last year and I am happy to say after two courses which each lasted around 10 sessions she has been discharged.

Her speech is a little iffy at times but if you model the iffy words correctly to her and ask which way should it sound your way or my way she is learning to self correct.

Don't be embarrassed please you really aren't the only one gong through this. When school time comes you will be surprised at just how many children are going already or are being referred.

We in 3 years of school have only had one issue with a child commenting on her speech. This was easily addressed by the teacher and apart from that all her school just accepted it and understood what she was saying. DON'T WORRY

All I would say is don't be fobbed off fight for the sessions they are like gold dust but very useful.

Love
Helen

Cortnie - posted on 06/19/2010

he also can recieve a check for it from ssi , i am fighting for one for my son cause he has ( adhd , intergrated auditory processing disorder, and now he is reaing backwards

Cortnie - posted on 06/19/2010

my son had a speech delay and is diag. with intergrated auditory processing disorder , i would strongly recomm. getting him in a school and they will do speech with him, they will put him a IEP to help him better cause without one they cannot do special things with him to better his school work. another thing i am looking into ( Fastforward program ) it is supposed to help teach ur child how to use his/her brain to his/her advantage . Please feel free contact me anytime cause i have been through exactly what you are going through at this point . i am on facebook or u can always call me just let me know. most of all do not yell at ur child i was told it can cause self -esteem issues. I have been in tears over this i have felt like a failure but ur not you just dont know how to help him. i have more helpfull hints if u want them

Linsey - posted on 06/19/2010

Children develop speech and language at their own pace. Some kids learn to talk very early, while some kids develop skills later than their peers. Four years old is not too late to begin speech therapy for any delay. In fact, it is an appropriate age to identify delays. I just finished my master's degree in speech and language pathology (graduated on Monday!!) and I have spent the past few years working with children with language delays. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing!!! Good job getting your child into speech services. Speech therapists are trained to work on these specific issues, and I'm sure your child will make tremendous progress.

Helen - posted on 06/19/2010

Irene, I think you'd be surpised how many children actually have speech and language delays - it can be as many as 1 in 10 school new entrants who have issues with understanding and 3 in 10 showing some developmental sound errors. It's easy to hypothesize about the reasons for the rise in communication difficulties in children but it's not always helpful. Certainly it is not productive to be worrying about whether its as a result of something you've done or haven't done. Focus on what she can do, celebrate her successes, acknowledge what she struggles with and support her attempts. Be proud that you've taken steps to help your daughter by taking her to a speech language therapist.
Helen ( Mum & Speech Language Therapist)

Janet - posted on 06/19/2010

I once yelled at 2 1/2 year old so loudly that I he peed. That's right. I terrified my child to the point that he wet his pants.

I carry that with me. It's a horrendous memory.

But, now it's a memory that is years in the past. And he is a funny delightful child.

My point is, we are parents. We are flawed and do the wrong things sometimes. So we apologize and kiss our kids and we promise to do better....and then we do better.

Do better. Kiss your daughter. This, too, will pass.

janet

Meredith - posted on 06/19/2010

My 7 year old was finally released from speech therapy this year, but my 4 1/2 year old was just diagnosed with apraxia. The therapists at the school told me not to be suprised if she had speech dificulities, but we (my husband, myself, and the therapists at school) were all suprised at how much more severe her issues are.
Keep working with her, and keep hoping. Don't be embarrassed about her, but take pride. I know the dirty looks and snide comments that come around. What hurts is when the other kids don't want to play with her or make fun of her because of how she talks. Starting a structured preschool this year scares the living daylights out of me because she can't express herself. But then I hear about the success stories (and look at my oldest son) and realize that with the help she needs she will be able to succeed. (it's just getting that help that's hard). Sometimes I think speech disorders are harder then other disabilities, because since the child looks "normal" adults and children can't understand why they can't communicate and automatically assume that they are stupid. Something that I always tell people when she starts a new class (i.e. at church, etc) is that even though she can't express herself she can understand everything you say. Good luck and if you every need to talk feel free to contact me.

Shanika - posted on 06/19/2010

Hi,
I had the same situation with my daughter when she was around 5.
I was so anxious for her to get help, the social worker and doctors would tell me that every child is different and they need to grow on their own time and that its perfectly normal to be feel nervous and helpless. Over time, your daughter's speech will develop more strongly and everything will be okay. My daughter is now 7 and its as if she never had a speech problem, it gets much better over time :)

Monica - posted on 06/19/2010

We have the same problem except no auditory issue. We have a 4 year old son. Keeping your child in speech therapy is a great start. My son has been in it continually this past school year and already see some improvement going twice a week. I think kids with speech issues once they start school will help. Very frustrating at first for everyone involved, but I think will help in the long run. More importantly, talking one on one with your child and making it fun helps tremendously.

Question for you...is you child an only child? Does your daughter have anger issues? My son does and his siblings can be hurtful (especially his 5 year old sister). I don't know how to deal with his anger and his 5 year old bully of an anxiety-ridden sister. Good luck to you though! :-)

Monica

Julie - posted on 06/19/2010

Irene, I had a similar experience with my son. He started speech therapy at 3 though. It broke my heart when people would ask him something he would answer and they would just stare blankly at him. He retreated into himself. He has now finished P2 at school. The speech therapist urged my to defer him for a year which I refused. I spoke to the Head Teacher who assured me she would get in additional support if needed.She wanted to send him to a speech and language school but again I said no. My son has come on leaps and bounds. I have also worked with him and between me, the school and the speech therapist he speaks clearly. On my last visit to the speech therapist she was saying she is not sure how much more she can do. My advice to you is give it time. Yes its hard but at the end of the day it is something which can be fixed. You will get there. Keep your chin up.

Jennifer - posted on 06/19/2010

make no excuses to other people. I wore myself out doing that at first and it just made me feel like a bad parent. My son din't start talking until he was three- mainly because I was a single parent and he spent all his time at daycare providers that didn't tell me he wasn't talking so between school and work his talking just slipped under my radar. If others don't understand your duaghter correct her and have her repeat herself. Eventually she'll get it.

Kim - posted on 06/19/2010

Just coming in on this thread, and haven't really had the chance to read all the replies, but in case you haven't done it yet, you may also want to have her screened for autism. Same thing happened with my nephew and as it turned out, he has austism......

Not to scare you or anything, but if it IS autism, the sooner you start treatment, the better. Good luck, hope she progresses quickly. I do know that in addition to specch therapy 2X a week, you will also have to work with her at home......Best of luck!

Jyoti - posted on 06/18/2010

hi my son had a speech delay ,but fortunately i caught it early on and at 3yrs of age i took him to get csreened and ,confirmed that he did indeed have a speech delay and i was recommended a state funded school in our district ,he got all the help and more at a regular pre-school with speech therapy and so much more.so before you guys go out and spend money on speech therapy sessions that cost a ton ,look into any such programs in your ,school district.she will be fine ,after my son started full time school within four months he made total sense when he talked.today he is a perfect almost kindergartener.i totally could relate to your embarrasment when your child could not be understood by other kids .but hang in there and you all will do just fine

Amanda - posted on 06/18/2010

i have a set of six year old twin girls, the were born four and a half weeks early and has some developmental delays, but with help the older of the two twins is doing just fine. The younger of the two twins still has a little bit of speech problems we have had her in speech since pre-k and they will be going into first grade. we have an awesome program at the school they attend called transitional kindergarten. they run the same program as the kindergarten for the most part with a little bit a pre-k mixed in at a slower pace for the kids. when my girls went into that class they were so behind, and now they are reading. My littlest one still has to go to speech twice a week, but one thing the speech therapist always told us to do is that if we hear her say something that isnt quite right make her stop and repeat it that way she will get in the habit of correcting herself.

Julie - posted on 06/18/2010

Check with your local school district, we have speech impact programs for kids starting at age 3. Your physician should also be able to refer you to an outside therapist that can give you lots of ideas to work on at home. Your child's language patterns aren't fully developed until age 8, so you still have time. Many kids have speech problems, and treated early most are fine.
(I'm a kindergarten teacher, I've seen many!)

Renee - posted on 06/18/2010

I'm a speech pathologist too and I agree with what Leslie said. Just love your daughter for who she is and listen to the suggestions your speech pathologist gives. The earlier your daughter gets the help, the better. Also, the quicker you embrace the idea of helping your daughter improve, the more progress she'll make. Hang in there!!

Leslie - posted on 06/18/2010

I'm a speech-language pathologist. It's common for parents of children with speech delays to feel like you do, but I think the most important thing is that you are getting your child the help that she needs. By doing this as well as letting her know that you love her no matter what are the best things you can do for your child. Remember, you shouldn't feel embarrassed or guilty about your child's speech problem. Just as parents of children with health conditions are not responsible for the cause of the health problem, you are not the cause of your child's speech condition. All you can do now is just follow the advise of your speech language pathologist and complete any home assignments she may suggest. Best of luck!

Cassie - posted on 06/18/2010

My daughter (Nov 05) has a mild form of Aparaxia which is a speech issue. She just stopped her speech lessons after a year of 2 45 min sessions a week. The classes will help immensely! Don't be embaressed about her. Every kid has some kind of issue no one is perfect. I would make sure that you can understand her and then kind of translate for her. I had to do that for the longest time. work with her at home also. Words or sounds you know she has trouble with make her repeat them after you. My daughter responded to play therapy really well. You can incorporate her toys and ask her the names, colors, shapes of them. It's really important to not get upset with her and just continue to work with her at home. They get just as frustrated that they can't communicate what they want either. Just because she is having a delay now doesn't mean she won't excell later. I got Haley some learning movies from my Parents magazine and they helped and she liked to watch them. So you might try movies and books also. Everything will work out!! Good luck.

Patricia - posted on 06/18/2010

It is not uncommon to see young children with speech delay. I see it everyday in my line of work. It is not unusual to see parents in denial. It is hard to accept that your child has a problem. The good thing is that you are doing something about it now. It will take time and patience. With the help of the therapist and you, she will learn to speak clearly and in coherent sentences. I have seen improvement with the children I work with. It is a wonderful feeling to see the progress that these young people make. More importantly you need to change your attitude about this issue. If you want your child to do well, you need to be positive and have patience. Nothing is worse that a parent being embarrassed with their child. To be blunt, you should be embarrassed with yourself for delaying the therapy. This is a problem that is so fixable.
Stop feeling guilty and just be there for your daughter. It will get better. Remember, she just started and it will take time. Just be patience. I don't know if the therapy will continue during the summer, but if not, look at the local colleges to see if they have a speech/language program. If you can afford it, check to see if they have a speech therapy program you can enroll your child in. Or you can go a private speech therapy program which can be expensive, but worth the time and money. It is good that you are getting the help she needs now.

Heather - posted on 06/18/2010

Hi Irene
My son Ian just turned 8..He was speeched delayed and still has some issues but with the right help from our school system and speech therapy it is amazing how far he has come...stick with it I know it is hard but in 6 months you will see a difference..It used to break my heart when we would be out and hear the other boys call him the boy who doesn't speak..but I called our school special ed depart when he was 3 had him evaluated and he started school in September and worked with the speech therapist and I was blown away by his progress..he was just diagnosed with APD-audio processing disorder..didn't really come as a shock to me because of the speech..but with the right help he will overcome this as well..stay positive..ask questions..keep on top of everything with your school and IEP's
Hope this helps..Heather

Rica - posted on 06/18/2010

I have a Godson who had delays in his speech. First I must say please stop feeling embarrassed because this can only set your child back even more. I actully see a lot of kids now with a speech delay, this is most commonly due to parents and friends speaking the the child in "babytalk". If your child has an auditory issue it can be as simple as having her ears checked for fluid sitting against the ear drum. This can distort the words that she is hearing making it harder for her to respond. Get her ears drained and she can pick up and be back on track in no time. Also you may want to ask her therapist what are other things you can do to help her out at home. It could be something as easy as talking slower and clearly to her so she can hear all the letters in the words. One of my tricks when my son was small was to put his hand at my mouth so he could hear and feel the words that I was saying to him. I hope that this helps a little

Sharalyn - posted on 06/15/2010

Ok--early intervention is your friend!

My son had speech delays due to auditory processing issues (Sensory Processing Disorder), and after 3 years he "graduated" from Speech therapy as he was right on target. You'd never know he had issues previously now; he can talk your ear off! :-)

Jawaka - posted on 06/15/2010

Irene, it does get better. You were in denial and now she is getting the help that she needs. My now 9 yr old son(he has a twin sister) had bilateral hearing loss due to a problem with his ears dispelling earwax and the wax kept his eardrum from vibrating properly. He didn't talk until he was 3 yrs old but had been receiving services and under the doctors care since just around his 1st birthday. As a parent, it was devasting that my baby boy wasn't "perfect." I had to remove myself from the situation and think about what was best for my son. Now, 8 yrs after all the services began, I am proud to say that my son was dismissed from speech therapy. He was also diagnosed with auditory processing disorder when he was around 18 mths as well as fine and gross motor skills delays. The only services he is still receiving is OT, he was actually real upset that his speech therapist didn't come to see him last week. There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Your daughter will be able to do what she can to the best of her abilities. You may not see any clear results for sometime, but remember that you are dealing with her on a daily basis and the gradual progression may not be so up front for you but when you have the annual meetings and go over her goals you will clearly be able to see where she was and where she is today.

Barbara - posted on 06/15/2010

First of all you shouldn't be embarassed by your child, I'm son has speech delay, he's 5, We always thought it was his tongue causing him to talk the way he does, I'm not embarassed and I listen hard to him and relay what I understand him to say to the person, Yes I get frustrated but we push on....I correct him when I can and I am his speech therapist along with his therapist at school and his personal therapist, you have to do a lot of deciphering of what he says then correct it with the right words, getting them to show you what they want or need and then making them repeat over again until they get it right how to say it properly. They pick it up rather quickly once they say it a couple of times, it will take time and a lot of work, I don't say anything to people unless they ask, because I'm not ashamed, He has problems like other kids but it's in his speech. If they ask I will tell them what he says and if they ask I tell them whats up with his speech and that yes he is in therapy. I have been going through this with him since he was three, that's when he started talking, that's when we realized we had a problem.....I hoped I helped and I'm sorry if I came off mean or abusive, I've been told I get that way....

Janice - posted on 06/14/2010

Hi Irene, You should never feel embarrassed by your daughter's speech delay. If you show your embarrassment around her when she speaks, that could do more harm than good. Try praising her by giving her a high-5 or hug when you can understand stand her. Say the alphabet often with her and when you say it, also say the sounds the letters make. You may also take her hand on place it on your throat when you do this or when you read to her. Just be patient with her. You already took a step in the right direction by getting her help. And like someone mentioned, check with your school district.

Evelyn - posted on 06/14/2010

My son had a speech delay. When he was 2 we tried speech therapy, getting him to use his words, reading to him, like everything we could think of. Then we put him in day care with kids his age after about a month doing this everyday he made major improvements. Have you taken her to an earn nose and throat doctor?

Heather - posted on 06/13/2010

I am a Speech Pathologist. If you have any questions regarding this issue, send me a message and I will get back with you.

Teress - posted on 06/12/2010

Hello Irene, I would suggest the program My child Can read. I am certain it would help your child .You must remain positive no matter what, go beyond what the doctor's say.

Carla - posted on 06/12/2010

This is for Cassandra. Our son had auditory problems as well as two of my four siblings. When he hears better, you will see a marked difference in his speech.