How do you deal with a 4yr old with speech delay?

Lindsay - posted on 06/11/2010

My 3 year old son has a speech delay, we started him in speech therapy this year through our early learning center. We did have to go through a lot of testing etc, for him to start but started him asap. He has been participating in speech at school for about 4 months and has had some great strides yet still has a long way to go. Some things we do is have him read the books to us, we do not expect him to read them but he practices his vocabulary by telling us what he knows then we go back and read the books words and he pays close attention to the pictures and what we are saying to him, We also work a lot with the alphabet and sounds. We do not correct him, we speak at a normal speed and tone. We model correct speech for Ian and he seems to be responding well. We talk about absolutely everything, for example when we put on his shoes we say Ian I are loosening your shoes laces, I am pulling your shoes tongue back, Ian slide your foot in, Great job, now mom is going to tie your shoe. Then the same with the other. Same with almost everything. We have 3 other children so sometimes time can be a factor, but as much as we can we talk Ian through everything. Ian hearing us use different sounds to make up different words seem to be helping. At school they use a reward system for play based learning like going through books and having him describe pictures or name the picture. It was hard to get him to try at first he would just shrug but now he has really opened up. I don't know if any of this will help but that is what we are doing with our son who has speech delay.

Cassandra - posted on 06/11/2010

my four yr old had and still does to a certain point a speech delay, we caught it when he was two and he he went to therapy which didnt really do much, he didnt start getting better until we put him in a school here in parma ohio that works with kids from all walks of life, it was set up like a preschool but he was taken out of class twice a week for speech therapy and he just graduated the school three weeks ago and i can tell u i see a huge difference in him since he started till he finished i can understand him more clearly now but not all the time, he also has an auditory problem which will be fixed over the summer, we were told he has fluid backup in his ear so he will prob have to have tubes put in, im not sure what state u live in but there is help for children with such delays here in ohio we have a number that u can call for resources for the such. i feel and understand what u are going through and it is hard and frustrating, but u need to keep in mind it is just as frustrating for her as it is for u...she tries to get her point across but it doesnt come out the right way....

Jennifer - posted on 06/11/2010

My 4 yr old son is the same way. I work at the library and I work with kids ages 3-5 and when I hear them talk I be like what did I do wrong with my child. I didn't do the baby talk with him so I know that can't be the problem. He speaks clearly for the most part but a lot of times I have to get him to repeat himself. He's a very bright child but I just don't understand. I understand what you're going through.

Sunshine - posted on 06/11/2010

get her the hepl she needs, work on the speech homework at home and stop worrying- this too will pass. It's not your fault, it's not going to be permanent (as long as you work to fix it) 4 of my 5 had speach problems, each a differnt issue and we worked with therapists & teachers at each childs pace, now they are all taking just fine & happier for it. My oldest was a very angry 4 yr old because no one understood him. my middle one loved being special and going to her special class where she got extra attention and played fun games her friends couldn't. lifes an adventure- embrace it and do what needs to be done.

Michelle - posted on 06/11/2010

My daughter had a speech delay but I couldn't get a physician to give me a referral until she was 3 (thus missing all early intervention). We placed her in individual theraphy followed by a social language class which concentrates on getting kids to speak to each other in normal patterns that delayed kids have often missed out on. It helped a lot.
Don't worry if the speech is incoherent, therapy is very good at addressing that. But I will say this, if the speech is irrelevant to the topic a lot of the time, you may also want her evaluated for an autistic spectrum disorder. I know if you're already in denial (believe me, I was too!) it's the last thing you want to hear. But girls, especially those who are higher functioning, tend to have subtler symptoms and can go longer before being diagnosed. But the early you get treatment the better.

Joey - posted on 06/10/2010

I took advantage of state offered in-home therapy (all therapies) for my daughter because she was born so early. We moved to colorado when she was 9 months old and did the same thing. She is now 7 and has started speech and occupational therapies through the school. What I am trying to say, is that even if you had gotten him therapy earlier on, he may have still have to have "touch up" sessions as he continues to grow. I know my daughter loves going to therapy, and always has games to play and homework like looking in the mirror while making the 'r' sound ten times. Is it possible that your the only one emberassed? He could be having fun and you not see it. One last thing, don't judge him, just be there for him.

Amy - posted on 06/10/2010

I have 3 children that are language delayed, ages 6, 4 (soon to be 5), and 2. My 2 older children started theropy at 2yrs of age but are still behind in understanding and expression as well as articulation. They are receiving a private theropy 1x a wk as well as theropy through the school system during the school yr. My youngest has had ECI (early childhood intervention) program at 18mo and too wiil begin the private thropy with his siblings. My children at least my older 2 have been said to have mixed receptive-expressive language disorder and articulation disorder. II feel frustrated at times too, and with the theropy it has helped but they have a long way to go. My children are far behind their peers but are delayed in other areas as well (mainly the older 2). Don't feel ashamed for you are an advocate for your child, the more you educate yourself with the issues on hand the more help you will be for your family; talk to your pediatrician and the special education associated that evaluated your child; my 6 yr old passed through PKand Kindergarden and is moving on to 1st grade; my 2nd child has passed the PK and is moving on into Kindergarden; best of luck...if you have and you questions about this issue let me kinow please...i'll be glad 2 help

Vanessa - posted on 06/10/2010

hi Irene, well im going through the same thing with my youngest son. I ve him in pre-k to he started school a couple of months before his 3rd bday, and i knew something was wrong cause my other son speaks so well. i have him going to speech class too, and he has improved so much since he has been in school, dont get me wrong he still has a long way to go, but he is going. you just have to learn to be patient with them, and i know it sounds easy but it aint.... well i hope things get better for you

Vanessa

Carla - posted on 06/10/2010

Ruth brought up a good point, we babysat for a little boy that stuttered. He and my youngest were the same age, and guess what? My daughter started stuttering so Billy wouldn't feel bad! It goes to show you the kids learn from each other. Both of them quit stuttering (thank God). Being around the kids at school will help bring out the speech.

Tracey - posted on 06/10/2010

My son is also 4 years old - sept. 2005. What we found out regarding his speach is that his tonsils and adenoids are very enlarged - so needless to say, he will be having them out next month and hopefully will help his speach, hearing, breathing, etc.

Jennifer - posted on 06/10/2010

My son didn't speak English until he was 4 yrs. old. He had his own made-up language. I hindered him by learning his language and answering him when he would speak it. Once he started school and started speech therapy at school three times a week. Now he is 9 yrs. old and going to the fourth grade. He has completely overcome his speech issues and was commended on his recent standardized TAKS test in reading and math. He also speak better than most adults I know. Just keep up with the speech therapy and it will pay off.

Nicole - posted on 06/10/2010

My daughter had a speach delay and we felt so irresponsible when she wouldtalk to others like we should have done something about it but at the age of 3 we put her into speach classes that the insurance paid for and it worked out great she still struggles with some words but she does much better now

Stephanie - posted on 06/09/2010

dont feel like that my daughter is 7 and takes speech therapy it helps alot plus they get ahead in school quick my daughter was born with a cleft palate and had alot of ear infections she didnt hear her words right but knoe doing a okay

Ruth - posted on 06/09/2010

Both of my boy's have speech issue, But trust me it will get better my son turns 5 this month and didnt go too JK becuse of his issues but will be going into SK this fall...The more she is with other kids she will pick up more on speech its self.

Betty - posted on 06/09/2010

my son just finished kindergarden for the second time. he too has a speech delay, he has been in therapy since he was 2. he needed to be snipped under the tongue which made a huge improvement in his speech. now he may only need speech therapy for 1 more year. be patient, it takes time. dont forget to get her help with reading cause the speech delay will effect her reading ability. my son also has learning support for reading 30 min. every day on top of speechtherapy 30 once a week.

Ehvah - posted on 06/09/2010

my daughter is now 6.. still speech delay.. i have problem with her especially in school.she have a hard time in verbal communication but written she's excellent. PATIENCE, PRAYERS AND SPEND MONEY TO CORRECT THE "DISABILITY".

Tami - posted on 06/09/2010

my daughter had a lisp when she was 4 - she is now 8 and she just grew out of it, I would give her some time.

Melissa - posted on 06/08/2010

My son had a speech delay also and the best thing I did was to get him into speech therapy. I also felt embarrased too. Don't worry about what others think , they shouldn't have to be told your child has a delay and if they are special to you they will understand. You don't owe anyone an explanation and most people will be understanding. I know it's so hard not to compare ones child to others but try not to and celebrate your childs milestones instead. Let your child know how special they are to you and how happy you are to be her mom. Try to remember she is frusterated also and can pick up on your embarrasment over her speech. When she does start to speak more clearly, even if it's just a word here or there, let her know how proud of her you are. She will be proud of herself and draw confidence in her own abilities the more praise she gets and encouragement. Hang in there before you know it you'll be saying she never stops talking. Once my son started to communicate clearly he didn't stop talking. Finding other moms who have children with the same challenges will help also. Look for some support groups if you can, it does help to meet others who face the same things.

Terra - posted on 06/08/2010

Hello,
My boys both had speech problems, and Started a program through the school in Pre-School, Tanner Is now in 2nd Grade and had Graduated from the program a few months ago!!!!, and Jacob just started last year, and we are seeing many improvements, The more communication you have with the speech teacher, about what they are working on with your daughter, You can bring it home as well, if you and the teacher are on the same page, and she is getting constant reminders at both home and school, She will pick up on it much faster.

Melissa - posted on 06/08/2010

hello I have a 4yr old son htat had the same problem. We had him in a program called help me grow. They put him in speech therapy through them. That helped some but then we put him in Pre-K and he was in Speech classesz there and that help alot. I also asked for him to be able to take a class mate to the speech class with him to get him to the point that he would talk to the other kids in the class. He would not talk to the kids in his class for almost 2 years until they started taking one class mate with him to help. I also have some other tips from the speech teacher that helped my 4 year old. If you need more info on it please feel free to send me a message and i will be more than happy to send them to you.

Felicia - posted on 06/08/2010

my son who is 8 years old now has what they call apraxia which is a speech delay. he was born this way. what i have done is learned sign langue so i can commuate better. its hard and frustrating when they know what they want but cant say what they want. since i have done this is getting more confise hey i can do this. if you need more help or advise write me back. also dont fell embarrassed then she will get that way and not talk at all

Carla - posted on 06/08/2010

All of my siblings, including myself had some sort of speech problem, from lisping, no talking, to talking so fast you couldn't understand us. It took work, but we got there. My son also had auditory problems, we didn't find out until kindergarten.

All parents want their children to be as perfect as they see them to be. It's okay. Don't listen to people who think you are being selfish or self-centered because you were in denial. Children learn quickly, and can be talking up a storm in a little while. My brother didn't talk until after he was 4--at all! I knew what he wanted, so I was his interpreter. It wasn't until I went to school that he HAD to talk!

Good luck, sweetie, you're doing fine!

Lisa - posted on 06/07/2010

My son has been receiving services for his speech delay since he was three he is now 6 1/2 He didn't get any services for one year. He is recognizing his mistakes now and self corrects. I still at times translate for him to strangers out of habit. He is mostly incoherent especially if he is excited or cranky. I wasn't told of any other problems except for the speech delay and some behavior issues.

Lisa - posted on 06/07/2010

I tried to respond yeterday but it didnt go through. I want to tell you that both my boys 7 and 4 1/2 are in speech 2 times a week through school. They have the same speech teacher and she can see that they have the same problems with their speech. My 7 year old has been in speech since he was 4 so for 3 years now and he is making such remarkable changes, he might not need it next year. My 4 1/2 year old started in September and has not improved much, but I know that in time he will get it and start using the letter sounds the right way. The speech teacher actually tells my oldest to help his younger brother, although my youngest doesnt want to practice at home.

It will take time and just keep practicing. Like I said my son has been in it for 3 years.

Irene - posted on 06/06/2010

Thanks Janet!
I am glad you can empathize with me as you too have a child with speech delay. Katy is currently in speech therapy at her Pre-K. She receives the services 2x per week. I need to have patience as these therapies take time and she just started in May 2010. You are so right about me not having to feel embarrased about her and trust me I did feel terrible and cried when I felt that way. It made me feel like a failure and the worst mom in the world. This is all new to me and I need to adjust to the idea of having a child with a speech delay. Thanks for sharing your feedback!

Irene - posted on 06/06/2010

Hi Michele,
I appreciate you sharing your personal experiences with me and for making me realize that other parents have worst issues than mine.
I love my child and I just felt that way because I felt bad when my daughter can't communicate well with her friends. I see other kids younger than her who carry on conversations with no issues so it kind of bothers me. But, as I mentioned to one of the moms, I will be supportive of my daughter no matter what and have a lot of patience. I will be very optimistic just like all the other moms out there who want to help their child. I really needed to hear this from moms just like me.

Irene - posted on 06/06/2010

Thanks Heather! I really appreciate your words of encouragement and your honesty. I will give my child all the support she needs no matter what. Just wanted to mention, she is currently in speech therapy through Pre-K. I just wish I could see the results now. I know I must have patience as she just started in May 2010.
Thanks again,
irene

Michelle - posted on 06/06/2010

Why were you in denial? What is wrong with getting help for your child if they need it. Why is it about 'you' and not about your child? I don't mean to be mean or anything, but really do what's best for your child. I was in speech therapy in grade school for a hearing issue. My twins have been in speech since they were two they are now 6. They had twin speak. My two year old is in speech probably only for a year. His issue was not talking. Why are you embarrassed? Having speech helped me and is helping my boys. Your daughter will get better depending on her issue or issues. It could take years or not, but so what.



I obviously don't think it's a big deal. I have friends who have big deals with their children. One friend, her daughter has NF1 and she had chemo when she was two for a tumor growing in her eye. I have relatives and friends whose children are on different parts of the spectrum of autism/asperger's. Another friend whose child has sensory issues. My niece has VCFS. And so on and so forth. I figure I have it easy. Don't be embarrassed your daughter might pick up on it and get issues. Be positive and use positive reinforcement.I was never teased in school and as far as I know neither are my boys.



Also, I hope you continue getting your daughter help. I noticed when my twins started kindergarten and 1st grade they read and spelled words like how they talked. It was always interesting translating what they wrote and it did make sense once I had my twins read it to me, but then they were speaking incorrectly and wrote it that way.



Hope everything goes well.

Janet - posted on 06/06/2010

Hi Irene~

My son also had a speech delay. I, too was in denial!!
My suggestion to you is Patience. It's okay that your daughter repeats herself as I have learned. It's their way of understanding what was asked. You may not get an answer now but you eventually will. Does your school district offer special services?? I went through my school district and had my son placed in an Amazing school. There are so many places that can help you. Check your local library as well - sometimes they have classes for the kids & parents!!
There are workshops you & your husband can attend to help you understand & deal with your daughter's speech delay!
Most of all Never be embarrassed. That's your Baby!
You are doing the right thing getting the services she needs.
I hope that helps!!

~Janet

Heather - posted on 06/06/2010

i dont have any kids with speech delays, but my best friends child does, and really, as long as you are helping your child now, that is the best thing you can do. you should be proud of your child no matter what, and not feel embarrassed. it is who your child is! if you dont get past this, she will never either. in my opinion the best thing you can do, is get her the help - all of the help she needs and accept her and continue to love her for who she is.... speech and auditory issues are things that can be corrected through speech therapy and hearing devices .... =) be thankful for that!