How do you deal with a nine year old's attitude? He seems to argue with everything I have to say and it's driving me crazy!! I love hime dearly but this attitude has GOT to go! Any suggestions?

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Beth - posted on 02/06/2009

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I have a 9-year-old son, and I teach fourth grade as well, so I can tell you that it is perfectly normal. That doesn't make it any more fun, however. We are learning with our son that he gets more argumentative when he is tired, so the consequence for arguing now is losing 5 minutes off of his bedtime. He really doesn't like that, so it helps him stop (sometimes) and has the added benefit of then making the next day better because he has gotten some more sleep. I am also of the mind, as some of the moms above, to pick your battles and not get sucked into an argument. At our district, we had someone called "the behavior doctor" come, and she was excellent (www.behaviordoctor.com). She said, and it works much of the time, to say "probably so" when they say things to try to get you to argue. Believe it or not, it works. Her website also has some great ideas, so you may want to check it out!

[deleted account]

I've learned just to walk away when the arguement isn't important. My daughter and I are both stubborn and have to have the last word. I just have to pick my battles. The attitude is hopefully just a phase with puberty. Good luck!

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Sabrina - posted on 06/01/2014

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AHHH, it better end soon. My daughter has to have the last word everytime, she slams doors and talks back like a 16 year old. I hope that doesnt mean it will be worse by then.

Marnie - posted on 02/10/2009

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My daughters attitude started at that age and she is almost 12 now, and it hasn't gone away still.  She recently got a cell phone for her birthday, so when she gives me any attitude or doesn't listen to me, taking away that phone works the best.  If he doesn't have anything that he thinks he can't live without, then you don't have anything to take away.  Maybe he has something else of great value to him, like a nintendo, that you could take away when he argues.  But I understand, I cannot stand the arguing when i tell her to do/not to do something.  Her and I both have to have the last word and it drives my husband crazy.  I swear I feel like I stoop to her level and I know I shouldn't. 

Sonya - posted on 02/10/2009

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Believe me, I know!! We never seem to be right and it angers me to no end!! I have tried wlking away and he thinks he has won the arguement!! But then, he can be very sweet too! I hope this phase ends soon!!

Sami - posted on 02/09/2009

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WOW, it must be the age! I have a 9 year old daughter, getting ready to turn 10 and she has an attitude 24/7!!!  I tell her something and she has to have a comment about it. Drives me nuts, I hope this will end soon!  I don't know how much longer I can deal with the 9 year olds attitude and the 2 year old terrible two's!!!



I try to walk away but she thinks she is so smarter than me!  She has had all her electronics removed from her room and seems like it doesn't phase her one bit!!! 



 



 

[deleted account]

I've been dealing with the same thing from my nine year old girl. Maybe it's just the age... I hope! I wish I had an answer for you. I'm just about at my wits end as well!! She gets especially nasty with her five year old brother. It's pretty frustrating- the best I can say is hang in there and make him remember that YOU are the parent! Good luck and keep me updated!

Sara - posted on 02/04/2009

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I have the same problem with my nine year old daughter. Its gotten better since I stopped arguing with her. I tell what to do (repeatedly) and tell her she HAS to do it, arguing won't change my mind. Then I leave her in the area she's supposed to be doing whatever I told her to do. Or on particularly bad arguements I send to her room (no electronics) and tell her she's going to stay till she does it. You just need to out stuborn them. Hope it helps.

Kylie - posted on 02/04/2009

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I've been told that's the age when testosterone levels rise, unsure if true. I'm dealing with the same thing and as yet havent found anything thats helps, sorry

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