How do you deal with a sister in law who disrespect you & your child??

Temper - posted on 06/16/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My sister in law recentley took me by surprise when she yelled at my son. It was at her daughter's birthday party & some of the older boys from her side of the family started harrasing my son. My son told his dad in privacy what these kids were doing to him, telling him they were going to "break him". When my husband asked to speak to our sis in law about it she proceeded to tower over my son & yell at him "well what were YOU doing to them!" "You haven't exactly been an angel." That's when we said, ok...this ends! The fact that she attacked my son instead of realize that he was one kid opposed to their 7 kids they brought! Out of those 7, 3-4 were being rude & harassing him. I'mupset that she attacked my son. After all we do for her. I was supposed to watch my niece this summer but ever since then, we have not spoken. She is on my fb & we ignore each other, it's uncomfortable to me that she has not apologized. I don't think she knows that she is in the wrong. It is a hard situation because her daughter is my only neice. My brother passed away a few years ago & she is all we have left of him. This is not the first time my SIL has flipped out on my son though. She was firm in believing that she was not wrong the last time either. It hurts me that I treat her daughter like my own & she easily can flip out on mine. I just want her to apologize...acknowledge it. something!

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Temper - posted on 06/16/2011

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Thanks Nichole, I am pretty upset about this. I have never gone this long without talking to her, even if it's just letters on fb. She looses her cool but doesn't realize that she made a spectacle at all. Her side of the family is very drama filled & ours is not. I hate to seem disrespectful by saying that I think her medicine she takes plays a part. That whole day she was acting very odd & seemed annoyed. She is not a big people person & makes it clear by saying she hates people all the time. I'm just not sure how she can have let nearly 12 days go by without saying she wants to talk about what happened. We have such a small family that I can't avoid seeing her. I can't avoid her being on my fb unless I hide her which I don't want to since I love my neice & want to see how she's doing. My mom doesn't want to take sides or acknowledge it either because she doesn't want to hurt my Sis in law or make her feel like she is pushing her away. It is making me upset that she seems to be the priority in this scenerio when it should be my son. I appreciate you taking the time to give me your imput. I need to talk this over with somebody since clearly she is not going to & my mother isn't going to.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/16/2011

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So sorry to hear. Family is the hardest to deal with because you want to be close to them but sometimes it is simply impossible. So I wish you the best of luck with this situation.



I know there are lots of things you could try doing... but it may not make a difference if she has ongoing issues with your son and being disrespectful. Because to me, that is pretty cut and dry. 4 kids on 1 harassing him shouldnt equal her screaming at the 1 being harassed.



I guess if you were trying to talk to her about it, I'd ask her that at least next time, she talk to your son and ask him instead of accuse him. That she do it with you around, never alone. That she has no right to yell at your son, because she is not his guardian. And well, if she still disrespects these simple facts of life you are trying to explain to her, there is nothing else but to find new people to fill your life with who will not treat you like dirt.



Just know you cannot force everything to work out, and if you try your hardest and she doesn't... it could not work out. Don't feel guilty. It's very hard letting go of family, but I have had to do it before and sometimes there are great valid reasons for them not being in your life. Her harassing your son is one of them. He doesn't need that from an aunt.



Good luck hun

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