How do you deal with attitude?

Deanna - posted on 11/06/2008 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My little girl is in kindergarten and is starting to act really snoty. She completely ignors her dad when he talks to her. She rolls her eyes at us if we suggest anything to her. She's really mouthing back to us. Nothing I do semms to curb the attitude. I've tried timeout, I've tried taking toys or snacks away. It's like dealing with a teenager and she's only 5. Any suggestions would be welcome.

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Nalani - posted on 11/10/2008

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I do a sort of forced choice option. When I get attitude, I let my boy know that attitude is not acceptable. Then I ask the question again, but give him the choice. Either you answer me without the eye rolling and attitude, or you don't get to do X or you can't have X or you get to do X (chore). My sons will always pick the non-attitude route. They don't want any more work piled on to them.

Lisa - posted on 11/09/2008

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we have a four and five year old with the same issues. we tried taking things away and now have found that rewarding good behaviour is much more effective. movie night on friday is a good incentive for good behaviour all week. we use verbal praise for good behaviour and also supply the proper words during an outburst, like others here have also said. good luck. i'm told it doesn't stop until they are about 18 so we'll either get used to saying the same things or die trying!!!

Alicia - posted on 11/09/2008

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I have the same problem with my 7 year old. We live in the county, if I call her attention to it and she still does it I put tally marks on the calander and for every tally mark she has to go outside and pick up rocks and put them in a pile. We have soooo many rocks it will take her forever and if we run out of that we have woods she can help pick up sticks. I do this because time out doesn't work for her she sits and screams so loud. Now all I have to do is ask her if she wants to go pick up rocks and she changes her tune. Good luck with it

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Georgia - posted on 10/19/2012

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At age 5? I think you ought to spank her butt. Before you do that have a talk about how little girls are supposed to behave. Than take her over your knee. As my mother used to say, pants are optional, underwear are required.

Alissa - posted on 11/10/2008

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As a RN who has 4 kids and has worked with children with behavior issues, I have to say that rewarding the positive behaviors is the way to go. I did that in our state program and have to do it at home iwth my own sassy 5, 11 and 16 year olds, it works!

Angela - posted on 11/09/2008

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Hey this sounds very familiar our little girl is the same way she is six. I am hoping this is a phase that will pass soon so we don't have to deal with this again until she is sixteen. Wishing you luck

Tricia - posted on 11/09/2008

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Everyone has this issue of disrespect with their kids. You're not alone and she is probably a good kid. I have four kids and still am trying to figure things out. What has worked for me with this issue, though, is re-teaching her how to speak. Whenever she asks for something or responds to you disrespectfully, you can give her the words to say and model how you want her to say them. You can tell her that she is being disrespectful and can say, "no thank you." or whatever. Also, another good one is bedtime. As soon as she understands the concept of time, you can take time off of her bedtime each time that she talks back. My first grader understands. It works as long as you follow through. Good luck.

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When my son started school he was the same way. He was a sweet boy and then picked up some bad habits from the other kids at school. All you can do is keep on them and they will eventually realize what kind of behaviors will not be tolerated. Good luck:)

Tracey - posted on 11/09/2008

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I'm dealing with this a bit too. I have found the natural consequence method to work. If someone was rude to you, you would probably chose to not be around that person. So, I calmly tell my daughter that she is being rude and I do not have to subject myself to that. She is directed to go to her room. She can come out when she feels she can be respectful. This eliminates negative attention and I have actually found that it works!

Jessica - posted on 11/09/2008

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I've had the same problem with my first grader. For this and other behavior problems, I've tried taking anything and everything away and that doesn't make much of an impact. I asked my close friend, who is a school psychologist, for ideas. She said instead of taking things away for "bad" behavior, try rewarding "good" behavior. Make her earn the things she likes to do by behaving the way she is expected to, rather allowing her to do what she wants then taking it away. It's a difficult transition to make, for both you and the child.... I still sometimes find myself reverting to "taking things away" as an immediate reaction to bad behavior. But by discussing guidelines with my child, like "If you make your bed and brush your teeth, I will pack a treat in your lunch" or "If you are respectful to adults this afternoon, you can play the Wii for 30 minutes tonight" or "If your behavior report from school is good all week, we can go miniature golfing this weekend". This seems to make her more aware of her behavior and excited about behaving so she can do her favorite things.

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Great ideas. We also try to show our daughter how it feels to be ignored when talked to. She doesn't like it much, we tell her lovingly that no she knows how we feel when we do that to her.

Televison shows play a big part in attitude, as well as other kids influence from school. School is new, my daughter also did this when ajusting after the New year she was back to her normal self. Hang in there it may get better.

Nikki - posted on 11/08/2008

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I actually have this problem with my 2 yo. We call her out for being "sassy". She is told that it is absolutely NOT acceptable. Ask her why she thinks is't o.k. to talk to you that way. You may discover that what Lisa said about hte TV is true. Also, try to remind her that not only is it rude and disrespectful to you but it also hurts your feelings. Remind her how she feels when her friends talk to her that way.

Lisa - posted on 11/08/2008

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Have you taken tv time away? Especially shows like Hannah Montana, High School Musical, all the shows with teens in them. Nothing against the shows my girls watch them too. But you never know what they are picking up. Or take everything away...we took my teenage daughters door off the hinges...no toys, tv, games, nothing. Is she involved in dance, gymnastics, any sports? Make her tell her coach that she can only sit and watch practice because she was being ugly to you and her dad. Just a few suggestions I hope they are what you are looking for. Sometimes a good old fashion spanking does the trick too. ;)

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