How do you get a 7 year old boy to behave in school? Tried everything....

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Ozzie - posted on 09/07/2009

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Ok..I have a 7 year old son too and this is what i do with him. If your son is anything like my son, im guessing he loves playing games. We limit our game playing to 1 hour a day. Any bad behaviour your son has write them on a paper in front of him. (such as back talking, saying a certain bad word, not getting stickers at school.....) Also make a 5 minute incriments up to an hour. Tell him anytime he doesnt get a sticker at school you will take 10 mins off his game time, anytime he backtalks you will take 5 mins, anytime he doesnt say yesmaam and listen to you you will take mins off his game time...In one week, I bet he will change...Thats what we do and it seems to work great. Got this from Nanny 911!!!!!!!!!!

Angela - posted on 09/02/2009

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There is a book called "positive parenting" and I found it very helpful. Another thing that you may try along the same lines with positive reinforcement is a jar or a cup that you display in an open area of the house (we do the kitchen) that you place a certain item (I use rotini noodles) and every time he meets a target goal you let him see you putting that noodle or whateverin the jar and tell him he's getting it b/c he listened to you the first time you asked him to do something or whatever your target goal is. The key is to never take those noodles away b/c it's as if you've taken away that postive behavior. Then when he gets the jar or the cup filled up he gets to do something big that he doesn't get to do on a regular basis...maybe it is going to a movie, or chuck e cheese or a water park or soemthing like that. I have had a lot of success with it.

Jennifer - posted on 09/04/2009

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I had the same problem, only with my daughter. She is also above average academically and would get bored in class when she was done with her work and would disrupt others with her talking. What I did with her was ask her to come up with 3 things that she really enjoyed doing while she was in school, other than gym and recess, and of those 3 things which one of them would she prefer to do after she was done with her work. She chose reading, writing, and drawing as her 3 things and said that she would like to draw the most. When I discussed this with her teacher she was happy to allow her to draw if she completed her work before her classmates if she could do it without disrupting the other students. My daughter was very happy about this and has not had any more problems. Praising children for good behavior is a great thing but kids who participate in the dedcision making process and have a choice about the outcome are much more motivated to follow through than those who have no choice at all.

Jasmen - posted on 09/02/2009

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I have a seven year old who is very strong willed and has a problem behaving in school. I am constantly reminding...coaching him on how to best resolve conflict with other children and to respect teachers. I have had some success with coupons for privilages. ALL PRIVILAGES ARE TAKEN AWAY and he has to earn them. Each day he behaves, he gets one point. If he earns five points, he can pull a coupon. Extra points can be earned by being particulary helpful. The coupon could be TV, video games, planning a family day. It also has been a good way to make sure he keeps up with chores. He plays football during the week, so his time is not idle. He is also expected to read on days he can't go outside.



He has an awesome teacher this year! I let her know that I am aware of the behavior and what I'm doing to correct it at home. I pray that both our children have a successful school year.

Janine - posted on 09/01/2009

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p.s: I dont believe in the add/adha drama that doctors are quick to apply to children. Sure some kids need it and it is true for them but not all kids that act out are relevant in this case.... Dont be quick to judge. Most cases are usually solved with good old fashioned parenting and judgement.

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Kim - posted on 05/20/2013

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my son is sweet but very argumentive,,he will argue about anything???? he loves to correct people and thinks he does no wrong they say he has ADHD his teacher has him on a daily chart .he can not control himself and his mouth in school do i find some kind of behaverial school for him???

Stephanie - posted on 09/04/2009

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He could be bord. My 7 year old son did the same thing so I talked to the teacher and we came up with a plan for him. While he is in class and he finishes his work before everyone else which he usually does she gives him some extra work that is 2nd grade level. (He is in 1st grade.) We are getting him tested for some gifted and talented classes this spring. So I would talk with the teacher and see if you could do the same for him. Now every once in a while my son gets to talking so on those days he has to go to bed earlier than normal. Plus he gets an allowance every week $1 per every good report day. So if he was bad like 2 days out of the week he only gets $3 that week.

Kristine - posted on 09/04/2009

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My 8 year old started doing this last year in 2nd grade as well. I have to say that the teacher wasn't very helpful with me on this until he got mad at her for keeping him after school one day to do his writing assignment and threw a book at her. It was the end of the year and we didn't have many issues with him after that incident because we grounded him for a week from TV, Playstation and the computer. He was worried he would end up grounded over the summer so he straightened up. This year however, all teachers were provided with my cell number for immediate contact and my email address for less urgent matters. For the 1st week I got an email everyday about my now 3rd grader. We sat him down and explained that he has to try his best and that he needs to respect his teacher (his sister had her last year) because she is a nice lady and he shouldn't be treating her the way that he is. He tests above state and district level on all testing but just messes around in class. He takes toys to school that has now resulted in me searching his backpack randomly once a week. That curbed that behavior because he don't know which day I will do it. Ultimately, once he realized the teacher was emailing me on a regular basis and that I knew what was going on, he has been good for 2 weeks running. I like Cynthia's suggestion and will most definitely be doing that if this problem arises again. I was an only child with a single mom and never behaved this way so I'm not sure the relevance of your child being an only child but boys are much different than girls in behavior.

Jennifer - posted on 09/03/2009

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I have a 7 year old that was diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD. He is an above average student and is an only child also. First, I refused medication. I felt we could find a different approach than medicating him. I talk to his teachers every year and have even sat in class with him on more than one occasion. I have even read books, every child is different, so not much resolution was found there. My attention was finally focased on him. We talk about his behavior, and I let him try to tell me right and wrong. He tells me now, before I even open his book bag how his day went. We are still addressing some issues, but he likes knowing that he is not the only child with these problems. That and our constant talks, and rewards seems to have helped. He has gotten much more smiley faces these past weeks, as the first part of the year was a readjustment period. Stay vigil and positive, they come around.

LaDonna (Abbie) - posted on 09/03/2009

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I have the problem & I try talking to him and time out and its a little better

KATINA - posted on 09/02/2009

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My son (5 going on 6yrs. this Halloween)is the middle child-I have problems also with him being still in class/ church/ or anywhere he has to sit down for more than 5 minutes...At school the teacher and I sit and come up with differents ideas that may work-one of them is...she has a chart on his desk-if he gets 5 stars across his chart he gets recess-if he doesn't-he gets to stay with her-so far so good-some say children like this are bad or have some hiper disease-not true for everyone-we need to just find ways to support all the energy they have-also watch the sugar intake-no candy,cereals with surgar,sodas,etc...sometimes that has a lot to do with it-if a child is around adults all the time and they get to stay in the room where adults talk then they begin to act like an adult-be patient thou and don't give them meds-it takes away their personality-it may be hard to deal with now, but keep trying new things until something works-observe what they like to do and try to incorporate it in everything they do-hope you find help soon-it can be frustrating, but know you are not alone.

Leah - posted on 09/02/2009

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find out the cause of his misbehavior? maybe he's being bullied by older, bigger kids? maybe he doesn't like his teachers (yknow, theyre not angels and they can also be awful people with bad attitudes), or theres something in your home that causes him to vent out his negative emitions and behavior when he leaves your house (and in that case, in school, coz maybe that's the only place he goes to outside the house). after finding out what the cause is, discuss it with your boy. use reassuring, comforting words and ask how you could help him. good luck and God bless!

Jill - posted on 09/02/2009

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You don't say what kind of behavior problems. I have an 8 (almost 9) year old who started having behavior problems last year in second grade. They came on kind of sudden after a new child started in his class, so I think that may have had something to do with it. But my son has some facial deformities that other kids make fun of and that also is a big part of it. We now have him in counseling and it seems to be helping. I would talk to his teachers and everyone you can and get help and advice from them on how you can help your son in school.

Betsy - posted on 09/02/2009

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When I had trouble with mine everyone refered the book 123 magic it works wonders highly recomend it.

Sherri - posted on 09/02/2009

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Hi Chris,

From years of experienced with my children it was impaired to keep them on a regular routine at home and at school, and stick by it. When any of my children misbehaved at school, in the community, and at home, I would sit down with a piece of paper, a pen, and asked them the following questions: What did he/she did wrong? Why? How he/she could of done it differently? Than decided on punishements he/ she should have., and stick to the punishment. A reward chart is another thing I tried for both school and home.

Is it possible your son might be ADD/ADDHD. I have two of my children who have been dianosed with ADDHD. It something you might want to looked into if you haven't alreadly.

[deleted account]

I could not get my daughter to behave in school (and she is 7 and in 2nd grade) until we began positive reinforcement at home to coincide with the teacher's rules. We also do time out at home for not following directions (no matter what the direction is..we are teaching her to pay attention and listen). Also, I talked this over with my mother and found out I had the same problems when I was in elementary school. They figured out I was bored because they were teaching things I already knew. After a session with my daughter's teacher, we have come to the same conclusion with her. So...her teacher moved a child who was having a hard time to the desk next to hers and allows my daughter to help her once my daughter completes her work. This keeps her academically busy and deters the disruptive behaviors.

Susan - posted on 09/01/2009

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Try showing up at his class and confrencing with the teacher after or before school with him. Keep in touch with the teacher. Let him know that if he continues to act up in class that you will go to school with him until he can behave in class. I did this with my 10 year old and it straightened him out and it also taught him the importance of behaving in class.. the punishment having your mom in class with you and his friends.

Janine - posted on 09/01/2009

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My child isnt an only child but does act sometimes as though he was one. Your son now is old enough to sit him down and really chat to him about why he behaves this way and if there are other problems you should be aware of. Like my son, I too believe that maybe perhaps academically he is unstimulated and feels he is above everyone else therefore a need to act out in other ways. It could also be that at home he gets doted on and has one on one attention. In a school environment he cannot get that as there are 30 other students lets say that deserve and need the attention too so perhaps this is another forum in his behaviour that is allowing him to get the attention he is used to be it negative or postive. I would suggest sticking him in a social group outside of an school environment such as sports or dance/drama, karate - something with other kids his age that he can be involved with in a group environment where he can learn the value of team efforts etc. hope it helps chris x

Melissa - posted on 09/01/2009

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I have the same problem with my twin boys. Their teacher and I have talked several times and what usually works for them is the threat to call home. She will simply tell them to straighten up. if not she calls me to let me know there is an issue. my husband and I then talk about their punishment before they get home. Sometimes it's housework. somtimes they are simply grounded to their room for the rest of the evening with no tv. It's worked so far. they know if teacher is calling mom they are going to be in trouble when they get home. she also rewards them if they behave. She keeps a punch card and for each day they can go without being disruptive they get a punch. After accumulating 15 she takes them to McDonald's.

Tina - posted on 09/01/2009

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I had to get my son tested for ADD/ADHD. After we got that done and got him on meds it has helped immensley.

Michelle - posted on 09/01/2009

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try a reward chart give him a star everyday he is good and lots of prise wen he is doing well at the end of the week if he has all the stars he can pick a little treat

Angela - posted on 09/01/2009

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My son is entering 5th grade this year and I've had the same issue as you each year. My son's 4th grade teacher and I started having conference calls with my son last year when there was and issue (the teacher didn't wait, she would call me when the issue arrived). This seems to really work. My son knows I'm only a call away and I can come to the school if he doesn't shape up.

Cynthia - posted on 09/01/2009

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Worked on my Daughter also...there is no way they want mama hanging with then all day...lol...I loved it when they tried to tell me I couldn't do that! Ha...I showed them...as to their behavior at home...I just use what they love the most...and take it away...as in completely away untill they earn it back...I can't stand it when kids use the mad at you posture...it hurts...so I turned it back on them...told them to be upset with themselves because they are the one that bad the wrong choice to loose the privilage...after that , they quit using the mad and hate you posture.... By the time we get good at one thing...we are out of a job!

LaTrice - posted on 09/01/2009

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LOL@Cynthia, you and I are on the same page. I did the same thing with my son last year. It must be something about boys and the age 7.

Lori - posted on 09/01/2009

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He's at the age now where he can comprehen quite we'll inforce the fact to him to mind his own business as soon as you think he' about to open up his pie hole give him a stern look grab a popsicle or something to keep his opinion quiet i went through same thing with 11 yr it was hard at first but it got to the point were i would look at him and he would go get his own popsicle!.)

Cynthia - posted on 08/31/2009

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I had a few rough months with my son in grade school...Tried most everything...then I told him one day that if he ever came home with any problems whate so ever...that I was going to start going to school with him and sit with him & go to lunch & recess and art & music & gym class...he told me that I couldn't...well the next day I was at school in his class room... was only there 2 hrs...the teacher thought it was great...he straightened right up! Never have had any more problems! woohoo...

Felesha - posted on 08/31/2009

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My youngest son was the same way, he was very smart but very chatty. He was not bad but he talked( and talks) alot, it was disruptive to the others in class but what worked for me was talking with the teacher and finding ways to redirect his energy. Maybe he could help the teacher or maybe the teacher could give him slightly harder work. The teachers also had my son read to kindergarteners which helped him with his people skills. I don't know if thats an option for you but it worked for me.

Jazmin - posted on 08/31/2009

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In the meantime while you find books, reward good behavior with playdates or a trip to a restaurant that has a play area with other kids Remind him that he is a child and that in the teacher's classroom its important to follow rules even if they are different from home. Try some yoga with him, he sounds a little impatient. You are not alone on that, talk to other mom's with only children, we all go through this. Good luck to you.

Chris - posted on 08/31/2009

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You kind of hit it right on the nose, I just don't know how to fix it! Will look into the books. He is very smart, Doc says because of the grades, not likely to be add/adhd thank goodness. Sometimes he finishes work right away, lately though, he seems to goof off then rush to do it all at the last minute. Scores at way above grade level academically, but doesn't have the learning blocks for the next grade level. He doesn't do as he is told though, doesn't follow directions, and is constantly talking out of turn. Very frustrating.

Jazmin - posted on 08/31/2009

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BINGO! Find yourself a book on behavior of only children, they are very helpful. Only children are normally a little more ahead academically and they have a hard time not socializing with other children, they tend to feel lonely EVEN if the parents play with them. My son is up until now the only child, although he plays with kids sometimes outside of school he is often in trouble for finishing his work early and playing/talking with other because he gets bored. Also the relationship we as parents have with our only child extend to other adults in their life, so the child sometimes lacks the "authority" that other kids see in foreing adults, only children feel more "grown up". Often times, their behavior wants to get diagnosed as ADHD/ADD but what holds the teachers back are the good grades/marks. I hope this was helpful to you. :)

Chris - posted on 08/31/2009

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Dad is here. I drop him off, dad picks him up, we all live together, happy family. He is an only child. He doesn't stay on task, constantly talking, getting into other peoples business. He is in second grade, gets good grades, but every year bad reports on behavior.

Jazmin - posted on 08/31/2009

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what is it that he is doing that is "not behaving"? Does he have siblings? Is dad at home?

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