How do you get school kids out the door in the morning without screaming??

Linda - posted on 10/27/2008 ( 43 moms have responded )

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I am trying to get them to be independent - get dressed, brush hair and teeth, eat, put on jacket and backpack.....

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My kids are in a routine, when they first get up they have to make beds, get dressed, then they go have breakfast then brush teeth. They like to watch a little TV before they leave so they know that everything has to be done before the TV comes on. It took some time to get this down but know they know what to do and it has help alot with the fuss in the morning

Leigh - posted on 10/28/2008

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I have a list on my sons door, of our daily schedule, when I wake him up I tell him its time to check the schedule, its something like this 6:45 wake up time, 7:00 Get dressed and eat breakfast, be done when mom gets out of shower, 7:30 check bag, put on shoes and pack snack, 7:45 put on coat and go to bus stop with mom.



This way he knows exactly what is expected when it has to be done, if he successfully completes this all week, he gets an extra .25 with his chore money.



I do a small allowance based on small daily chores, each earns .25 per chore (there are only max of 3 per day, but he loves the responsibility and mornings are much smoother lately.



If something is not completed, we have consequences, I remove 15 mins from bedtime, and/or .25 from the allowance earned, this works beautifully

Angela - posted on 10/27/2008

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You could try to encourage them by letting them know how much it helps you when they try to do one or two tasks on their own. You can build it up slowly and it could decrease the resistance of all or nothing. A list (words or pictures) of all that needs to be done before you leave could be posted in the kids rooms so they can SEE what they need to do, instead of you having to repeat it 50 times.

Carrie - posted on 11/05/2008

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I made cards on my computer with a picture of each task and the words listed on the bottom (make bed, get dressed, pj's away, pack backpack,eat breakfast, brush teeth...etc and I laminated them. Then I punched a hole in the corner and put a key ring through it. That way the can start with the first card each morning and flip to the next thing on their list without the constant "Now what, Mom?". My kids are usually really hungry in the morning, so I put eating and brushing teeth last so they'd be more 'inspired' to get the other things done quickly. Our mornings are so much nicer now. Hope that helps!

Amber - posted on 11/03/2008

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Oh one thing I forgot that we did in addition, we got her up a little early (via the alarm clock of course) and let her take a shower if she wanted, it really helped wake her up in a soothing way. She had some really neat kids roll on soap from Avon and she loved this, It was a good start to her morning.

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User - posted on 12/02/2012

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There are some terrific suggestions here, some I will definitely use.



My boys (aged 4 and 8) are early risers so I have found that if I have everything done the night before, there is nothing left to do in the morning and they get under each other's skin - and MINE! I have found that the more I have them doing, the better my day (and theirs) starts. The television will not be turned on until both my boys have finished their chores/responsibilities. Everything is listed on a laminated board and must be ticked off each morning. I include "chores" like Hug Mummy and Do 5 Dance Moves, just so their morning isn't such a drag. Once everything is done and I've seen their ticks they are allowed to play a Playstation game or watch TV until the preset alarm bell goes to announce it's time to get in the car to go to school.

Crystal - posted on 02/18/2011

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My kids do not start school till 9 am. And we live 1/2 a block away. That said getting them there on time is always fun.

Our day starts at 7 am, I turn on cartoons and let them be for 30 mins. Then its shower time (everyone gets 10 mins) then they are to get dressed(we lay out the clothes the night before) they have till the next shower is done. Then they get to deside if they are eating at home or at school. Fallowed by brushing teeth and taking meds. If they packed their bags the night before then they get to watch more cartoons till its 8:35am. If not they get to pack it up. Then its shoes, caots, bags and out the door.

If they don't get to school on time then they do not get free time after school. So they have learned to get done in the mornings.

Tess - posted on 02/10/2011

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I couldn't find a picture schedule online, so I made one. It's on my profile under Madison pics, or I can send it to anyone who might find it helpful Hope it helps!

Ilene - posted on 02/10/2011

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I would take their games, tv, etc away, one or two items one day at a time. To get them out of the house I would grab their hands and make them go out the door. When my son was little, he would cry very loud and throw little temper tantrims. I started to scream louder than his cries and it confused him a little, but he caught on. You're the momma, make them do what they need to do and don't except excuses. My son is 14 and over his life span I have become what my bf calls a witch because when I was playing the mom who didn't want to discapline role, my 3 walked all over me. Set rules and boundries. I had mine on the fridge. Lord knows it didn't cure my kids but it helped.

Christie - posted on 02/10/2011

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I thoroughly Enjoyed this post. Thank you. I will start this today! Ive been looking for a simplistic yet realistic goal to help my 9 year old with responsibility yet keeping in mind she has adhd.

Cara - posted on 02/09/2011

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For my four we have a no whining rule. If they whine or are not ready when the bus comes, that means they did not get enough sleep and need to go to bed earlier that night. Took a few times to work, but does. We do showers, lunches, and clothes the night before. Whatever they pick out the night before they wear, period. If they don't like the underwear/socks/shirt they picked out - tough. Don't wear them again. They must be completely dressed and teeth brushed before coming downstairs (and glasses on if appropriate). Shoes are on their feet before sitting at the breakfast table. If they are not at the table by 7:30, no breakfast. I don't yell, or fuss. The kids know the rules along with the consequences and I am consistant with them. Kids who miss the bus stay home and do chores. Kids who were dressed, ate breakfast, and walked out the door at 7:45 get a marble added to their jar. Marbles are our reward system. They get marbles for having their clothes picked out and rooms clean at bedtime or if caught doing something extra nice/helpful. When their jar is full they get a special treat.

Lorie - posted on 02/09/2011

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Great Idea's Ladies!!

I bought a storage unit with 5 pockets in it for my sons closet! On Sunday before his bath we pick out an outfit, socks & underwear, there are 5 pockets so he has all his clothes picked out for the week and it is a god sent!!! I couldn't live with out it!!!

Lorie
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/produc...

Jennifer - posted on 09/22/2010

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Prepping the night before is key, but I make sure I do with them so they're both aware and accountable for things when it's brought up; like special things they may need the next day for sharing, extra clothes, etc. Also, I've made a list of 'chores' my kids have to follow to keep them chugging along (get dressed, put breakfast plates in the sink when finished, brush teeth, and get shoes on) once a timer goes off. When they complete all this they get four play dollars (fake money) they can use to 'buy' things like extra time on the computer, a special playdate with a friend, the movies, etc. I know it's a bit of bribing but it incentivizes them and helps them realize that once the important stuff is taken care of they're able to enjoy what they like to do without Mom losing her cool and screaming first thing in the morning. This has worked really well so far and our mornings have been a lot less stressful because of it. Good luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 11/10/2008

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We too lay things out the night before. However; the single biggest factor that determines how well my children respond in the morning is how much sleep they get the night before. If there is fussing in the morning, it is a guarenteed early bedtime that night. Who can get up and get ready to go (and be happy about it) when they are still very sleepy?

Andrea - posted on 11/09/2008

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I have two boys, 10 and 7, and the two things that have saved us are the morning list/chart, and a closet organizer. I bought a sweater holder (hangs on the rod and has several shelves) for each closet. On Sunday, we pick out 5-6 outfits and fill the holder. My older son starts at the top and works down for the week. My younger son likes to pick each morning, but the selections are already limited so there are no arguments over what is okay for school. They have their morning checklist to complete, and if they are ready before mom they get to turn on the TV and watch PBS for a few minutes. Works great for us!

Alicia - posted on 11/09/2008

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By the sounds of it my girls do pretty good for the most part, & I am pretty luck. These all sound like wonderful ideas. My girls are 7 & 8, they go to bed no later than 8 I lay out their clothes the night before with their help. I get up at 5 am, take my shower, and get dressed for work then I go into their room about 5:30 and turn on their tv to start waking up they have 30 min to wake up and get dressed. While they are doing that I am making their lunch. By 6 am or a little after we are out the door on our way to the baby sitters and they eat breakfast there and go to school. Because they get up so early they are pretty ready for bed that night. On days that I am off and they have to go to school we do the same thing only we start it about an hr later, but the same routine I shower, get dressed, turn on their tv they get dressed, and I fix them breakfast when they are done brush their teeth and I take them to school. This way their schedules routines dont change and I don't have much problems. Dont get me wrong I do have problems occasionally because really how many of us are happy EVERY morning :)

Amy - posted on 11/06/2008

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these idea are great. I have been trying them to see what is working. Setting out the clothes the night before is helping a little. However no matter what i do my middle son just does not get moving until i start to yell. I have threaten to put him to sleep earlier claiming the maybe he was to tired in the morning and thatwas the problem. I have to drive my youngest to school so time is really important.

Still trying to find the right combo that works,

Mara - posted on 11/05/2008

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We do a lot right when the kids get home in the afternoon- unpack and repack lunch and homework, put shoes and coats by the door and assemble anything that might be needed at school. The other thing that has helped is putting all "school clothes" in 2 drawers and letting them dress themselves. I don't fuss about what they wear as long as it's from the right drawer. I also don't have any TV, Nintendo, etc until they are ready (totally ready) for school. Something that has helped with breakfast is to let them suggest what to put on the grocery list so we don't argue about food. Good luck. It gets easier!

Melissa - posted on 11/05/2008

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Prepare the night before. Pull out the shoes (w socks in them), backpacks, coats(hats/gloves) and set them up on the floor, by the door. Pack lunches & put snacks in backpack, before bed. Prep the bathroom with fresh towels, before you go to bed. Lay out clothing (or let them pick), before they go to bed. It even helps to prep the table with bowels and cereal boxes @ night. In the morning, make sure you wake up w plenty of time to get yourself & them ready. My kids take FOREVER to eat breakfast. I remind them over and over of their responsiblities. I think the morning rush is pretty common. The prep cuts down on stress. Also, giving them time limits also helps a lot. You have 5 minutes for this or that. Go to bed and get up at the same time every morning. Kids adjust well to that. And it helps them better predict what comes next. AND BREATHE! We all have our days...

Kristin - posted on 11/05/2008

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I list their morning "jobs" on a paper that I hang on the refrigerator in our kitchen. With little ones, you could use pictures, and the older ones could have a job sheet.
In the beginning, I had to teach them to look at their "jobs" and they would need reminders, but after a week or so, they began to look at their job sheet independently and complete them without my reminders.
Now, instead of asking, "Did you brush your teeth, pack your backpack, etc," I just say, "Did you do your jobs?" and they check their sheet. That takes me out of the equation and puts the responsibility on them instead. And, when they say, "I did all of my jobs," they are praised and we begin our day on a positive note. We have much less yelling, and they feel a sense of independence and accomplishment first thing in the morning.

Michele - posted on 11/05/2008

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There are some great ideas on this thread! Thanks for sharing this stuff, ladies.

Kim - posted on 11/05/2008

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My 6 year old daughter is hit and miss with the screaming thing. We lay out her clothes the night before and I let her pick them, so when she wakes up and says she doesn't want to wear them I remind her that she wanted to wear them and she says oh yeah that's right. I have noticed that if I put her to bed earlier she wakes up better. I really like the alarm clock thing and I think that I will try that. We also have the problem of her not wanting to ride the bus so long so that is our new battle.

Cheryl - posted on 11/04/2008

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We use a magnet reward system. Dress yourself, brush your teeth, etc. At the end of the week, if she has earned all her magnets, we buy her a special treat at the grocery store. And, we still have tears every once or twice a week. I'll just keep at it!

Michele - posted on 11/04/2008

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We've been told that once you start screaming you've already lost the battle as far as teaching them anything is concerned. (That doesn't keep it from happening from time to time around here, but still...)



Try breaking it all down into one "command" at a time. Not "Go get dressed," but "Go take your jammies off." Then "Change your underwear." Then "Put your shirt on." etc. Break it all down to one thing at a time and see if that helps. It'll take more time and you may have to get up a few minutes earlier, but it may help.



And I definitely agree with the other posters. Have the kid(s) get as much of their stuff ready as they can the night before. And let them pick out their clothes -- that helps them be a little more excited about putting them on.

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I set an alarm in their room for 15 mins before I get up and challenge them to get up, go potty, get dressed and wake Mommy up before MY alarm goes off! So far so good!

Michele - posted on 11/03/2008

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I have 3 young boys who I have to get out of the house everyday by 8am. That includes getting myself ready for work and packing 3 lunches. To help me stop yelling I put up a poster with colored pictures and numbered items. These are the steps they need to follow in the morning before they can play or watch tv. 1. Eat breakfast, 2. Get dressed, 3. Brush teeth. Each activity has a picture so it is very visual for them. They sometimes still need reminders, but it has helped. (I also let them pick out their clothes the night before).

Amber - posted on 11/03/2008

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When my daughter went to school, the clothing issue wasn't an issue at all because everyone had to wear uniforms which I LOVED! She did do screaming until I figured out it was how she was waking up in the morning, when I woke her up she was so crabby. SO we took her shopping and let her pick out an alarm so she could wake up to her own alarm every morning, It worked perfectly. For some reason she wasn't crabby anymore when she woke to her OWN alarm. We also did the list of what needed to be done each morning and she really liked that she was in control of her mornings.

Mary - posted on 11/01/2008

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Call me crazy... I got a handle on what clothes they hated. If they didn't get ready on their own those were the clothes they had to wear... No discussion about it. That was what they wore. One day of that and they were ready pronto!

Danielle - posted on 10/31/2008

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With 3 kids in school now (my youngest just started KG), I'm getting pretty good at this... The older 2 (14 and 12) take care of their stuff ready, I just try to make sure that any permission slips, journals etc. are on the kitchen counter before I go to bed so they don't forget them. The younger one, I try to keep her pace with mine in the morning by eating with her, gettin g dressed at the same time and brushing teeth, etc. together. She picks out her snacks and juice while I make her sandwich and then we are ready to go!

Jody & Eric - posted on 10/31/2008

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I don't! I just ignore the screaming and keep moving. Then they get the 10 min, 5 min, time to go warnings. If they miss the school bus they are grounded for till the next bus. I tried laying out clothes the night before and they didn't want to wear those. And putting packs together works ok, but I have to sign readings-which they do at bedtime.
Still looking for the magic combination that will work for us.

Heidi - posted on 10/31/2008

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get as much ready the night before as you can[ lunches, lay out there clothes, breakfast] then which ever kid can get off to school with out fighting every day of the week gets " a treat" Saturday!!! Make a sticker Board! they wil want to get as many stickers as they can!! the kid who has the least stickers doesnt get to go!...yes it will break your heart but it works....TRUST ME!!!!

Lauren - posted on 10/31/2008

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I have 3 girls, 11, 9 and 7yrs. I find my oldest is the hardest...has a temper if something she wants to wear is dirty. I ignore her and she come's around. Why don't you try packing lunch, putting there clothes out and make sure their backpacks are all are ready to go. Now if I could follow my our responds to your question I would be good

to go too! I get up before my kids and get ready.

Kimberly - posted on 10/31/2008

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These are all good suggestions and I have started doing them and it works!!!! Thanks

Heidi - posted on 10/29/2008

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We live in the country so our two boys 4 & 8 have to be ready and out the door to catch the bus by 6:50am. I match up all their outfits(1 top to 1 bottom) and hang them in their closet, that way they can "choose" an outfit, underwear and socks. They have to put the outfit on before coming upstairs in the morning or no TV after school. I brush their teeth once they are up so save time and then they can brush in the evening. Coats and backpacks are on the couch as we get everthing in them the night before. They eat breakfast at school so I don't worry about that. We haven't had many issues as they know this is the routine.

Michelle - posted on 10/29/2008

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I just wanted to post this in case people have kids like mine. I can lay out their clothes the night before (with their help) and we still have battles in the morning. Because they are tired or grumpy or don't like the way their sister looked at them. I agree the things below are helpful but some kids just are going to be difficult.

Amanda - posted on 10/29/2008

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When I read this post I had to read the answers to see if any one had any good ideas ! I did find a few, I think some kids are like us adulkts some are Not morning people! Its harder to get them moving, my oldest is like this, I have three boys my oldest 7 is so hard to get ready in the morning!

Connie - posted on 10/29/2008

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The problem I have is my daughter who is 7 changes her mind constantly on what to wear. What she wore 100 times previously now "bothers" her in some way or just doesn't feel right. It drives us nuts. Once she gets that straight it's smooth sailing. We just need to start getting her clothing drama out of the way the night before.

Amy - posted on 10/29/2008

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I just joined this group an di have to say I am definitely going to try some of those ideas. I have 3 boys. 10, 7 and 4. i don't think a morning goes by without me yelling because they are not ready when it is time to leave.

Vanessa - posted on 10/28/2008

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I have 5 year olds. Morning routine items (dressed, school stuff ready, eat breakfast) are all on their chore chart. Before bed each night, we put the stickers on the chart for everything they did that day. On Sundays, we tally up the stickers and they get what ever that week's reward was (They pick what they are working for at the begining of the week - cash, small lego set, trip to the dollar store, etc.) We started the chore chart last year and have added chores as they get older and more responsible. Works great - no hollering in the morning!

Lynn - posted on 10/28/2008

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Hi, I always get the clothes/ bags etc ready the night before, get the kids to help with this. In the mornings we have 'blast off to the front door' were we get ready as fast as we can, first one their gets a rocket sticker. You can adapt this to suit your child, My kids have never got ready so fast. I also make sure that the older ones let the younger ones win from time to time, which teaches them to share, two birds one stone. I have found that if you can make any routine fun then kids are more likely to do it.

Linda - posted on 10/28/2008

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These are great ideas! I just put out their clothes and backpacks. I like the chart idea and counting game. I'll try it tomorrow. Thank you for you're posts : )

Kristy - posted on 10/27/2008

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First, I do get all things - clothes, bookbags, shoes... layed out the night before and once agreed on we know there is no changing mind. I then do the counting game once breakfast is over to see how fast she can get ready. I makes it fun and challenging so she tries to hurry and be ready by the time I get to 50. It works and it has cut down on the fuss.

Jesse - posted on 10/27/2008

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I have my kids lay out their clothing for the following day and put their coat, book bag and shoes together near the door. They are not aloud to go downstairs until they are dressed on a school day. Break resistant bowls and the cereal are within reach. We have a small glass pitcher on an accessible shelf in the fridge with milk in it. They still often will have a hot breakfast but this keeps them satisfied and out from under foot until I can get myself ready. We have a second set of toothbrushes in the downstairs bathroom. I have found that if they are sent back upstairs...they are easily distracted. I do a 5 minute warning to put shoes on and get out the door. It is still a challenge but this definitely helps us!

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