How do you help a 7 year old boy with expressing his feelings without violance?

Nikki - posted on 03/21/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 7 year son has been test for autisim because of his inabillity to handle social interactions without violance, When he is mad or sad his first reaction is to hit or push. There is no violance in the home and we mointor what he watches. So I am looking at some ideas I can try with him???

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Nikki - posted on 03/28/2010

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I want to thank everyone for their ideas. We did find out that he is not autistic and they do not think he has ADD or ADHD. I have talked with his teacher about some of your ideas and we are working together to offer him options at school and at home. Will keep posted on progress. And again thank you very much

Mandy - posted on 03/26/2010

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My five year old just got diagnosed with ADHD and we are trying to find alternative to medicating because he is so young. We just got a binder/book called Eating for A's by Alexander Schauss, Barbara Friedlander Meyer, and Arnold Meyer. It is a 12 wk Nutrition plan to improve your child's Academic and athletic performance. It has been used to help many children facing difficulty in school to improve their ability to focus and concentrate while they are in school. I was also told by the child nuerologist to avoid red dye. All dyes have an effect, but apparently red is the worst for us. I just got the book so I cannot tell you that it works from experience, but I am willing to try it for my son. I hope this will help you a little :0)

Lealyn - posted on 03/26/2010

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First of all i want to tell you that you are not alone. I know how frustrating it can be my son got thrown out of daycare at two for biting....he is now 8 the problems continued up until last year and we still have occasional outbursts though now they are often hitting or pushing. We tried many many things along the way but interestingly what finally worked was a combination of frequent reminders to use his words and a rewards chart. It started out with a daily chart....if he was good for one day he got something small like a penny to save up for something he wanted (also teaches financial responsibility) then every three days he would get something bigger and eventually worked our way up to a month at a time and then one day he told us he didn't need his chart anymore because he knew how to use his words and didn't want to hurt anyone else. By the way my son is ADHD and also on the autism spectrum. Good Luck!!!

Rosemary - posted on 03/26/2010

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Encourage him to write if he can in a journal his feelings and tell him he can use bad words if he wants to because it's for his eyes only, if he can't communicate that way suggest he get a pillow that he can hit when he gets angry.

Melissa - posted on 03/26/2010

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Our therapist gave us a paper that we hung on the fridge. It had all different facial expressions on it with a feeling (sad, frustrated, angry, confused, etc) When we would hear or see a situation escalating we would go there and have him identify what he was feeling. Also she gave us "Pandy" sheets, It was a faceless mouse. When he was having an extreme emotion (happy or sad) we would have him draw in the face of how he was feeling. and then write the name of the emotion. As that got easier, she started having him write on the back "why" he was feeling that way. removing him from the situation and having him identify the feeling gave him a better opportunity to make a better choice on how to deal with it. BTW... my son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He was 7 when we went through this treatment. Stay strong, have patience, and lots of luck!

Nikki - posted on 03/25/2010

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Thanks Elizabeth. I will have to see if there are any programs like that around here. He does enjoy music and that is a great idea for home, now just something for school??

Elizabeth - posted on 03/24/2010

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Does he enjoy music? I know when I was young and was angry or sad I used music to help me and then I began to write song lyrics it's really helpful for me. Have you thougth of a youth anger management? In our town we have one call Dragon-runners. and it helps the kids deal with stress and how to be able to cope like counting to ten and screaming in a pillow or going for a walk/run/jog/workout of some sort. Other than that I have no idea... I hope this helped a bit.. Good Luck!

Jen - posted on 03/24/2010

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Our Dr. said we should give him a place where he can physically express his anger without getting in trouble, like a "punching pillow". I also try to keep my son involved in lots of sports and physical things to help him use up some of that aggressive energy

Nikki - posted on 03/23/2010

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We have tried a journal and it works for a short time and then he quits using it. I have given him new ones to try to keep it all different and same thing he uses it for a while and then stops. Thank you for responding. I really appreatiate it

Donna - posted on 03/23/2010

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Have you tried to get him to write in a journal where he can express his feeling and voice them

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