How to get over kindergarten tears

Halli - posted on 09/08/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My daughter's first day at Kindergarten was an emotional roller coaster! My mom had to take her because I just recently broke my foot. She cried at least a half dozen times and my mom had to stay with her for the first hour. She came home exhausted.

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Halli - posted on 09/10/2009

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This is great advice, but she starts off going to lunch first (it's half day kindergarten) and a parent has to walk them into the cafeteria and check in. My mom is the one dropping her off for me since I can't get around yet. She doesn't have the heart to just leave her grandaughter crying there. I guess there is no easy answer, but I plan on taking her next week if she is still having meltdowns and trying the tough love approach and give a quick goodbye. Thanks again!

Khristine - posted on 09/10/2009

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I agree with the other parents -- short and sweet goodbyes are the best for both of you. Give a hug, a kiss, tell her "have a good day, see ya later alligator" and that you love her, and then leave with a smile. The longer it takes to say goodbye, the harder it is to make a clean getaway. Believe me, I speak from experience. My daughter, who is now nearly 8 and just started third grade at a new school, told me today she only needs me to walk her to the front door of school instead of to her locker because all the other kids' moms didn't walk them to class. It's a far cry from the clingy first-grader she used to be who threw loud, teary-filled tantrums during the first week of school that were so bad her teacher got involved. Ultimately, the principal had to physically pry her off of my legs and drag her into the classroom as she screamed "Mommy, Mommy!" It broke my heart, but it was really harder on me than it was on her. Her teacher called me later that day and told me she cried for another 5-10 minutes and then was fine. She wasn't so clingy in kindergarten but for some reason got very clingy at the beginning of first grade. I was so relieved the next week when her teacher sent home a note saying she had a good day at school without any tears. Remember, even if you're sad for her, don't show it. Be firm but loving and let her know that her job is to go to school and your job is to work as a mommy, or fill in the blank if you work outside the home, and tell her you'll see her soon. Before you know it, the days when she'll be so excited about school will come that you'll have to remind her to hug you goodbye before she rushes into the classroom. Good luck!

Heidi - posted on 09/10/2009

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I will be dealing with that on Tuesday when my son starts JK. Its going to be a very sad day for me, because he is my last one. We did enroll our son in Preschool for 2 years, so he is definitely ready for the next step. Its me I am worried about. Watching my youngest venture off to Big Boy School. Here the kindergartens kids go to school all day everyother day, so to break up the day for my son I will be getting him at lunch time and bringing him home, for the first little while anyway and if he decides he wants to stay with his friends then I will let him stay at school for lunch. Its an adjustment period for the kids thats for sure, but 9 times out of 10 shortly after you leave they are totally fine, and once they make friends and get into a routine you will be surprised just how independant 4 and 5 year olds really are. Usually its harder on the parent then the child.

Ranaye - posted on 09/09/2009

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I have three kids very close together and for the last 3 years have been dealing with preschool drop-offs.. they all handle it differently. Now I am the preschool teacher's aid. I agree the best approach is to drop off, say ' have a good day... I love you.... see you soon etc." short and sweet goodbye's are the best they will adjust in time just stick with it. It is hard at first but one day they usually take off running into the classroom and your the one wanting them to look back at you.

Christy - posted on 09/08/2009

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I KNOW THIS SOUNDS HARSH BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE CHILD WALK IN ON THERE ON OR JUST DROP THEM OFF SAY BYE AND WALK OFF AND DO NOT LOOK BACK. LIKE RENEE SAID THE LONGER YOU STAY THE WORSE IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD AND THEY KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. ONCE YOU ARE GONE THEY REALLY ARE FINE AND USUALLY HAVE A GREAT DAY THEY JUST KNOW HOW TO PULL THE GUILT STRINGS AND IF YOU LET THEM SEE IT GETTING TO YOU THEY WILL CONTINUE TO DO IT. I HAVE THREE KIDS AND THE OLDEST IS IN 6TH GRADE AND THE YOUNGEST IS IN STARTED KINDERGARDEN THIS YEAR AND HE TOLD ME HE DID NOT NEED MY HELP. WHICH BROKE MY HEART. SO GOOD LUCK

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To be honest, I am surprised the teacher didn't take over. Usually the best method is a quick drop off. The longer we linger, the worse it gets. Usually they are distracted within minutes - but the teacher helps with this. I am going through this with my daughter right now who is in Pre-K. We just moved and she is having a hard time adjusting - one way it is coming out is at school drop-offs. She never had an issue like this at her previous school. I am firm with her when I drop her off and tell her that "she has to go to school today, I love her and that I will see her very soon", yada yada. Then I high tail it out of there. Don't look back! It does break your heart to see them so upset. The tricky part is not letting them know that we do feel sad for them. ;-) Honestly, good luck! Just remember it is completely normal (even if you don't see everyone else's child doing it).

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