How to handle a smart mouth??

Stacey - posted on 06/21/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I have an almost 10yr. old girl that talks back, always has a rude comment, and can be just plain mean to anybody. I have tried soap in the mouth and grounding her but it does not work. Sometimes I just get so mad I scream at her but she does not seem to care. I don't want her to grow up with this attitude but what do I do to stop it??

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Katie - posted on 08/12/2013

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My nine year old son thinks he owns me I guess you can say.He walks all over me and when I tell him to do something he ignores me or throws a fit. I have tried taking away things that mean something to him and that does not seem to work, I don't want to yell but I have and that does not work, we have sit down conversations. I just don't know what to do with him anymore. I always get a good review in school that he is quite and the "shy" type and always tell the teachers he is not like that at home completely different kid. He was born premature with some hearing issues that were corrected but they diagnosed him ADHD/complulsive because he would lash out and throw things at his therapists. They have him on medication but I don't want him on it during the summer just for school, but I think it might resort to him being medicated just calm him down. Please if anybody has any ideas I would appreciate the input.

Misty - posted on 06/21/2009

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I used to try time out- didn't work so great. I started hanging a "going to bed early" list on the fridge and I would put a mark next to their name if they were misbehaving. Each mark was worth five minutes that they had to go to bed early that night. This worked for a while! Now when they misbehave, they miss their next turn on the video game and my oldest who isn't interested in video games, looses her phone for a while. It's all about finding something that works and being consistant with it. Consistant is key- EVERY time she has a rude comment or backtalks, she needs to be corrected. Screaming really won't work because she'll do it just to irritate you and see you get mad. There's always positive reinforcement, but we do that anyway without using charts, stickers, etc. I just pick somewhere (like the park) and tell them they had a great week so we're going to the park. Anyhow, didn't mean to ramble! Best of luck to you!

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Queen - posted on 07/20/2011

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@ Suzanne, I would not worry to much about CPS if your form of spanking is legit. The police here is Jacksonville will tell you it is okay to use that form of punishment if you choose to. The key is consistency is a must. Whatever form of punishment you use you have to stick to it or they will run right over you. Kids are a full-time job. You have to stay 5-10 steps ahead of them. If you give them a inch and they take a yard then don't give them anything else. Let them earn it. Also, if they know why they are now having to work so hard to earn what they get things will go a lot smoother for you. Remember you have to be consistent or this will not work. Good luck.

Jenny - posted on 07/10/2009

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i also have a ten year old daughter,and have been havin the same problem since she was 7 so i can totally relate to whatyou are saying it's very frustrating i have tried all sorts of different things ,the only thing i found works for me is when she is rude to take her by the hand and remove her from the room that i am in i dont make any conversation or eye contact with her at all and eventually she comes and apologises to me i found that she seemed to be doing it for attention so this way she only got it for good behaviour not the bad. any hope all turns out well for u good luck

Misty - posted on 07/09/2009

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well i have one of those my 10 year old what we started doing to her is say the same thimg she said than asked her if she liked what what we said her anwer is no so we had a talk about what she says it seem to be working

Marcelle - posted on 07/08/2009

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Don't shout or scream. In fact, stop giving her attention when she is being like that. When my daughter tries that on, she goes into coventry, i.e. I, and her dad, don't talk to her or hear her. It doesn't take long before she apologises. And the frequency of it has decreased. If we're not hearing her she can't get the attention she wants nor permission to do anything outside the house nor school excursions.

hth

Tashia - posted on 07/07/2009

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i have the same problem with my 7y old and his step dad. He smarts off all the time and gets screamed at. nothing works i tried taking things away that he likes or time out. If you have anything that works let me know.

[deleted account]

Oh I totally get the consistency thing. I have an easier time with my daughter, but my boys!! And they know I feel like my hands are tied in public, so they work that to every advantage. We don't have problems with appropriate spanking, but I did spank my youngest son once in public and we were accosted by people who needed to mind their own business and they threatened to call CPS. So now we are even more leary about public discipline. My daughter is easy, I say go to your room and she does. She whines and complains, but she goes. To me, that is so easy! Compared to the boys who run and hide and throw themselves on the floor and refuse so that I have to carry them up, and then 2 seconds later they're sneaking out. That's easy to just give up on!! :P

Stacey - posted on 07/07/2009

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I have a hard time with consistency. I sometimes get so tired of disciplining her that I feel like giving up and letting her do whatever she wants. Of course, I would never do that but this is very frustrating. I have been working really hard on not screaming and I am doing a pretty good job. She definitely does not like it :) I've sent her to her room to calm down and she screams for awhile but does calm down. But, it's the consistency that is hard. Especially in public!

[deleted account]

Whenever my 8yr old starts that with me, I send her to her room, and I tell her I won't listen to it. They do that because they think their getting their point across, just like when we raise our voices to yell at them, thinking they'll understand better and stop. :P If you refuse to listen to her and send her to her room, then go in half and hour later or so, when she's calmed down, you can talk to her with whatever it was that got her there in the first place. My daughter is still mouthy, I think it'll only get worse with age (I was a fairly mouthly teen myself :P), but at least she'll learn how to express herself through words and not frustration, and you two will have a better relationship. Anna and I have our most meaningful discussions after a time in her room for attitude.

Sarah - posted on 07/06/2009

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Smart mouth ... it reminds me of gum commercial .. anywho... thats is hard... dont scream at her... because the more you scream the more they like it ... coz it makes you mad .. talk to her in low tone voice but give her ultimatem.. (is that right) tell her you will send her somewhere that she dosent like ... there are a lot of ways to dicipline her ....I grew up in a strict family .. if i screw up .. i will get something that i dont like...i remember my dad is calling me to come home coz i was playing with my friends down the street near my house .. then i am not listening .. i went home coz its getting dark.. can you believe he lock the gate ... and i was sitting there for hours crying ..then he finally open the gate .. but he told me when i do that again its better if i live with my friends and he will pack all my staff .. and i cant live their house anymore....Hint Hint scare your children sometimes ...

Vicky - posted on 06/22/2009

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My 8 year old has the same problem I silently go to her bedroom and start bagging all her favourite toys until she starts saying sorry then when she has done I finish bagging the section I am doing and remove them to my room. One bag is returned to her every 24 hours of correct attitude it works wonders as all I say now is 'do I need to go to your room' and she shuts up and sits and reads till calmed down. Consistancy is the main thing you need to do and don't let others say or do anything different as this can also throw out all your hard work. Good luck hope this helps.

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