How young is too young to have a Facebook profile?
April - posted on 06/29/2011
I think to young would under 13 an 14 because any young kid at 14 is fixing to be 15 so they know what they are doing an right from wrong and always remember parents there is always parental locks on anything you want. ut no kid needs facebook at the age of 13 an younger, it is not fit for there age groups. That simple!
Lisa - posted on 06/29/2011
Ditto, Shawnn. Also, if we have family members to keep up with, we do it through my FB account when I'm on there. I may call one of my kids over to see photos of their cousin posted or what not.
I also agree it's not about just laying out rules or about fearing Facebook. It's about principles. I do not condone the lying of age for the creation of a Facebook profile. That's just the way it is. My kids understand. What they don't understand is why other parents allow their kids to lie. They know it's wrong & they respect that. My 12 year old is even open and honest - will talk to me about anything. My 9 year old - not so much, but he's autistic, so I think that would explain his apprehension.
My 12 year old wants to wait until he's 13, and I commend him for that. He WANTS to show other kids his age that he is honest and has morals and that the same goes for his parents.
When we do allow him to create a FB profile, it will have the security clamped down really tight and he will be required to "friend" me so I can keep tabs on what he's doing. He knows that I call surprise laptop and iPod inspections, check history, etc. I do trust my child, but I don't trust the predators that are out there targeting children.
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 06/29/2011
Karen, I am in NO way a parent who "just lays out rules". I sit with my kids, and we discuss the appropriateness of such things as, for example, lying about their age to get on FB, and other things. As a matter of fact, although I'm considered "strict", my husband and I have ALWAYS consulted with our children in our decisions for them, and fully explained our actions. But, that's neither here nor there. That is a parenting style. It works for some, doesn't work for others.
And, you'd be hard pressed to get my kids to say they "secretly say they wish they had a different life." Their friends have asked them similar questions, and they've been politely told "nope, I think my parents are pretty cool, and have my best interest in mind"...which is a pretty cool response from a teenager!
I haven't read any post that said they "fear Facebook". Fear is not the factor here. Rules are. You have not satisfactorily explained why you think me "shallow" for asking that my children be honest in ALL things, no matter how small. I am having trouble digesting that.
You do what you want. You will anyway. But, you also need to recognize what you said holds very true "There are great parents who ended up having troubled kids. And there are troubled parents who ended up having successful and happy individuals. There are kids who grew up dirt poor and turned out to be philanthropists in their adult life. And there are some who got the same luck but turned out to selfish and greedy. I was a battered child, but it didn't make me think that it is right to the same when I have own."
None of us are perfect, but we can strive to instill the best qualities in our children, no matter how small the issue in question is.
Shelby - posted on 06/29/2011
i think it depends, if its just family members that are on the child/pre-teens friends list, && if the profile is kept on private, i think that 10 is a good age, if supervised by the parent/guardian but i think at age 14 the teen should know how to keep pervs off the friends list, && they should be aware of the dangers. parents say they talk to their kids all the time but its obviously its not working, parents need to prove to their kids, i would make a fake profile && act like a stranger if it taught my child a lesson lol. i always think there should be rules also.
Bobbie - posted on 06/29/2011
My 9 and 10 year olds are on Facebook but only I know their passwords so they can only get on at home when I am there. They are only allowed to except friend requests with my permission so that I know who are seeing my childrens pics and things! I think it is fine as long as parents are paying attention to what they are doing and who they are talking too.
Tuloni - posted on 06/29/2011
I think that kids age 15 or older should be allowed to have a FaceBook page. I have a friend who has a cousin age 12, that have a FB page. She just learned that grown men were propositioning this child via FB. The family was unaware due to them being blocked by the child. Also, she stated on her page that she was in a relationship......scary. I also have a 12 year old daughter and she doesn't have a FB page because of the issues like the one I previously mentioned in my response.
Karen - posted on 06/29/2011
Well it's too bad you know people or have friends like that. I know far too many people who have kids that are "praised" for their achievements, but their kids secretly say they wish they had a different life.
What you also don't understand Jen, is that some people don't look at certain things the same way. If you really look at "bending" Facebook rules on the same wavelength as bending the essentials rules/guides of life, then you can never understand why I do not fear Facebook.
I don't think it's too hard to explain to kids who actually really listen to their parents that "Ok son, I set this up for you so you can play or whatever. You're not supposed to have one but since I don't want you playing on mine, I made you your own. However, you only get to play when I am around." Now do you trust your kid enough? I do.
Trust and communication. Leading by example doesn't mean you have to be the "perfect" parent (whatever a perfect parent really means) or the parent who never makes a mistake. Whenever I do or say something wrong and my son sees or hears it, I give time to tell him that what I did was wrong.
I think there's a difference in being a parent who simply lays out rules and a parent who actually takes time or considers "compromise."
So what I'm saying is, a Facebook page for younger kids doesn't really mean you have told your kids that it's ok to lie. Communicate, explain.
I believe in treating my kid not just as that little person living in my house and is supposed to follow whatever I say. At 8, I treat him as an individual that I trust and someone who is not afraid to be open to me about everything. And someone who understands that anything that he thinks is not permissible to Mommy means it should be kept from her.
We can only do so much for our kids. After they are out of our homes it is their option to treasure and use the foundation we have laid out for them or not.
There are great parents who ended up having troubled kids. And there are troubled parents who ended up having successful and happy individuals. There are kids who grew up dirt poor and turned out to be philanthropists in their adult life. And there are some who got the same luck but turned out to selfish and greedy. I was a battered child, but it didn't make me think that it is right to the same when I have own.
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 06/29/2011
But, again, Jen brings up the same point others are.
It is NOT that anyone is telling anyone else how to raise their children. But, if someone allows their under 13 yo to set up an account, then that child learns that "oh, it's ok to fake my age, because my mom (dad, grandma, or whoever) says it's ok.
I'm not saying that these kids are going to end up being pathological liars as they get older, but allowing them to fake their age for FB COULD indicate to them that it's OK to fake their ages for other purposes (clubbing, alcohol, cigarettes). I am by no means saying that any WILL do this, just that the parent has shown permissiveness in one area related to age, so they may not see a difference.
I have had plenty of people criticize the way I raise my kids. I've been told that I am WAY too strict, that I expect WAY too much out of my kids in terms of behavior, morals, etc. However, each person that has criticized me for my strict methods has also had one of their own children (whom they raised very permissibly) do stints in juvie, or flat out been arrested. Two of them had kids sent to the state correctional school. In the meantime, my children have been praised from every quarter for their honesty, work ethic, and general personality.
I am not saying that I am 100% right, but everyone that has said "It's ONLY FB" or "It's OK, because I gave permission to fake their age", or "I set up the profile myself, so it's OK" doesn't seem to understand that by allowing that, they are unintentionally telling/showing their kids that "if you don't like a rule, it's OK to bend it"
Michelle - posted on 06/29/2011
I made my 10 and 12 year old sons a facebook page. It allows them to talk to our family that doesnt live close, and to their friends over the summer. I am able to monitor who is on their friends list.. and yeah they both play games.. I dont see anything wrong with it, as long as they are monitored
Rhonda - posted on 06/28/2011
I am Facebook friends with my kids, their friends and some of their classmates. Many of them found me. My FB profile is very family- oriented. Many of these kids are teenagers, so they post all kinds of garbage. I don't judge, repremand or correct. This is a free forum and I respect it as such. Yes, some things are disturbing (not from my kids) but their parents are well aware of their kid's behavior. What I've learned from this experiment is I gain more trust in the real world if I'm there to wish their friends happy birthday or post positive words when they are having bad days. It's been fun.
Sharli - posted on 06/28/2011
I don't think children under the age of 16 should have a Facebook page.There are just too many parents not willing to monitor them. I am "friends" with my young grand children but I am rethinking that. I am not comfortable with some of the things I share with my older friends. Great question!
Rhonda - posted on 06/28/2011
Both my 17 and 14 year olds have FB profile, so the 11 year old has been asking. He will have to wait until he is 13 year old. I really don't think it okay for any child under 13 to have free-range of the internet anyway. The youngest child has specific websites he is allowed to go to. Fortunely, at this point all he want to do is play Wizard 101, he's a RPG geek. lol
Quita - posted on 06/28/2011
I let my daughter play games on my fb account - and on other sites where I am the owner of the account and I can monitor her while she is playing. She is 9 and I know that eventually she will want her own account - but I'll cross that bridge later.
My 10 year old grandson with autism is on Facebook, but his father changed his last name. He's only there to play Scrabble and other games: Fishville and Farmville. However, I have suggested to his parents that they get some kind of parental control software for Facebook like Social Shield.
Lisa - posted on 06/28/2011
Under 13. Period. No exceptions IMO. No good reason to lie about your child's birthday if they're under 13 just to create them an account. NO good reason. This issue just ticks me off how parents constantly are allowing their kids to break the Facebook rule, justifying the reason, but it still doesn't justify how you have to LIE to create the account! Just think about what you are teaching them. Outright lying is okay in certain situations? NO, especially when it's something like this.
Helen - posted on 06/28/2011
I guess we should all say it is up to the parent you are the one to decide when and how old you want them to be getting on fb its not a bad place and like i said before we talk to are family on it and post photos. You are the only one who can make this decision your the parent we are all just the ones giving are own thoughts. So good luck on your decision.
Ixchel - posted on 06/27/2011
Well I think anything unmonitored under 10 is not good. I allow my boys to have a joint FB but I set it up and I approved their friends list. I also approved who the oldest plays games with and they are mostly friends of mine who he plays games with. Most of his friends are family so i believe that is ok. I think it all boils down to once agian monitoring and parenting your children and what they are doing. My children and I have a very close relationship and my sons talk to me and tell me everything. I think a FB would be ok if the only people that are looking at it are family it is a good way to share photos with memebers who are far away.
Amie - posted on 06/27/2011
My son is 10 and he wants one but me and his father have both said its just to much we dont even like him playing violent video games. He wants to just play the games but we dont even have an account on FB anymore its just to intrusive and anyone and everyone is always wanting to friend you and all that...its just not safe anymore.
Rose - posted on 06/27/2011
my daughter is 9, and has one. I and my mother both have the passwords for it. It is checked SEVERAL times a day. She is not to add anyone without permission from me. It is also marked completely private so that random people can not locate her. She has to ask me to add any pictures on it. She uses it mostly for the chat feature, sometimes the phone is in use by one of the other household members and if she wants to get a hold of a friend its easy to just jump online. I also add all of her friends on my page as well. including some of their mothers. As long as you are monitoring what is going on I see no reason why they shouldnt be allowed to have one.
Jennifer - posted on 06/27/2011
I volunteer at my son's school and about 80 2nd Graders had FB accounts and about 20 5th Graders did. To me that is crazy. I think that at some point they should have one. One of my friends said when her son finished 6th Grade he could get one. That way he could understand the internet.
Tammy - posted on 06/27/2011
18. Period! I will not allow my daughter to frequent social sites on the net; it's so dangerous! I myself have a Facebook account that I use only for family and friends that I know in person and I still get all these "friend-me" requests from total strangers, even though I have my account set on private!
Db - posted on 06/27/2011
I'm not really sure of this question myself, however, a judge once told us in a divorce issue, that NO kids should be up on the internet at all. Because of all the preditors out there and making profiles using other childrens pictures and pertraying they are that kid and befriending them, and then one thing leads to another. Parents say " oh I have parent control" you can have as much control as want, but nothing is safe on the internet. My husband is in IT, so of course we have everything locked down on our systems for our kids, however that doesn't mean something could still happen. There alot of sicko's out there, I don't really know what the age is, but I guess everyone had different opinions. I doubt this helped, but I'm interested to know too. :)
Jessica - posted on 06/27/2011
I think teaching your kids to make up a fake birthday to get on facebook. Just teaches them to break rules and that you approve of breaking rules. It may not be a huge deal legally but morally to me it is. I feel if I let my children under 13 make a facebook account even though it's against the rules is supporting the idea of the rules are just there to be broken......
Julie - posted on 06/27/2011
I must admit I did not know their was an age limit which is a good idea and 13 seems a good age however they must still be supervised by an adultas we here so often about paedophile pretending to be children while grooming their victims so its up to us as parents and in my case grandparents to make sure our children are safe online
Heather - posted on 06/26/2011
My daughter has been asking for a FB page for about a year now, she has friends that have them and she wants to talk to them. I told her that the rules state she needs to be 13 and she can wait until then. I let her and her brother do the farming stuff for me on the games like Frontierville and MonsterWorld. Both games my mother plays for stress relief and the kids like to go to her homestead or farm to help and leave messages for her.
On the other hand, I can see having a page for your young child, that you administer so that extended family members can see the child's progress without having to see your differing political/religious/whatever postings. I have many friends who have that set up to avoid confrontation of hurt feelings of relatives that want to be involved or informed of the child's well being.
Jamie - posted on 06/26/2011
My 13, 11 and almost 10 yr olds each have one, and have for almost 2 yrs. FB is actually considering how to open up access to kids under 13 (read that on another site, something about the internet privacy laws and what they need to do to legally allow it). My younger 2 mostly just play games and chat with family out of state. My 13 yo as of about 6 mos has been actively using her fb. She's in jr high now and uses it quite a bit on her phone. Their accts are private and I check their pages a few times a week to make sure they're following my rules (no innapropriate posts/pics, only friending actual friends, and just being respectful in general). Never had an issue as of yet and I'm hoping it remains that way, but I'm not that naive and still check regularly as I feel that's my responsability as a parent allowing them access. But different strokes for different folks and to each their own. Do what you feel is right and just keep your eye on them if you do decide to allow it.
Amy - posted on 06/26/2011
It's not a CRIME, for heaven's sake. Who is going to arrest you for it? The Facebook Police? The only reason they have useage guidelines is for liability purposes. Not everyone is going to have the same ideas about how to introduce their child to anything on the internet, including FB. We aren't going to agree. And that's okay. But taking the position of superiority ... that's NOT okay. :)
Jacqueline - posted on 06/26/2011
I think as long as you have a face book, your familiar with how it works and have access to your childs face book.. when they ask for one because their friends have one and they want to talk to them, it should be okay! its hard to hide things on facebook.. as posts are public.. its one of the safer social networks. Parents just need to stay involved with their kids.. :)
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