I am having such a difficult time when it comes to disciplining my 4 y/o! Any suggestions?

Fola - posted on 04/19/2010

I think that you should try the countdown method. The countdown method allows you to calm down and also show the child that a serious punishment is about to occur if he/she does to behave quickly. If the bad behavior continues after the countdown, the a sereve punishment should be ordered so next time the child will have a clear understanding of the types of punishment that will happen if he/she does not behave. I'm a mother of 3, and trust me this method works. The types of punishement I recommend is sitting in the corner, going to the room and exercise drills like squats and jumping jacks.

Kizmect - posted on 04/18/2010

You again have to encourage the positive behaviors! She understands what is right and wrong. When she's doing good, encourage it that's how you keep on the good behaviors.

Andria - posted on 04/18/2010

I have tried a lot of different things with my 5 yr. old. She use to do some of the worst things, and she still has her moments, but I tried timeout and putting her in the corner. Those worked for a while, but then it was like it didn't faze her. I do spank my 5 yr. old when she needs it. But it's not hard, it is just to get her attention. I have also heard a lot of people say that the nose and toes thing works. They have to put there nose to the wall and there toes have to be to the wall also. I put my daughter in her room when she gets out of control and she hates it. She doesn't even think about playing with her toys because she is so mad. I also take things away. She loves her DS and her PS 2 and movies at bed time. When I can't get her to listen and she has had a bad day, then she loses one of those and sometimes all of them. She hates it. But the next day is always better.

Sabrina - posted on 04/18/2010

I do agree with what the other families are saying. I thank God both of my kids are good. MY first child is a girl she was the one who punish herself when she thought she did something wrong.But my little boy now he would see how far he can get with me.And he is 5 now and he now see that Im the boss.I don't believe in spankings but I do let deepen my voice and let him to seat down or go to his room.I tell him not to play with anything he is to seat on his bed and think about why he is in there.Then I go to his bed room door when he calms down and I don't hear any crying I ask him do you no why I put you in here.If he says yes I tell he to tell be why and if that is right then I ask him why he did it. And if he says he doesnt no then I tell him what he did wrong and tell him that he can go play again if he doesnt do it again.That works for my family.

Colleen - posted on 04/17/2010

If she throws fits in stores tell her she has a choice, leave the store or calm down and follow through... that way she knows she is in controll of her choices.

Lisa - posted on 04/17/2010

I am a mother of 5 and like you I have a daughter who is now six that is strong-willed (putting it nicely). A lovely girl who wants her own way all the time or else. Part of what I did was I got her Dad to be more active in dealing with her tantrums which seemed to make her calm down faster and on top of time outs I reinforced the good behaviour by giving her rewards for that. It took her a while but she is starting to realise the benefits of not acting up and we are seeing less and less of the tantrums.

Crystal - posted on 04/16/2010

I agree with everyone else that you have to find out what works for your family, and what types of punishment you believe in. (i.e timeouts, spankings, taking things away, etc.) As far as the tantrums go, if it's something she's asking for and you say No, then she throws a tantrum, I would just walk away. She's most likely just looking for the attention. I calmly tell my kids that they can come and talk to me when they're done yelling and screaming and crying. If I still don't think they should have it, I tell them that throwing a tantrum is not the way to get what they want, it's not a way to ask for something, and when mom/dad say No, we mean No and no more questions. (that doesn't always work of course) We do timeouts for both our kids (4 and 2), then the apologies and hugs too, as one other lady suggested. But when that doesn't work, and its a repetitive behavior that we've told them to stop doing, they get a swat on the butt. It's all trial and error on what will work for that particular child and for your household.... but most of all, its pure consistency and follow-thru. :) best of luck.

Kelly - posted on 04/16/2010

Believe me, I know what it's like to a child with a dominant personality (I have 3). And my 3rd child is already proving to be the most pig-headed of the bunch!! If there's one thing I've learned about raising kids, it is that consistency is the key. They need it and they'll never admit it, but they want it. You have to decide what method seems to work best for your child (i.e. timeouts, loss of priviledges,etc.) and stick to it at all times. The pre-K years are such a vital time for kids to learn "Cause and Effect" because once they enter the school system, you loose so much control over who and what influences your child on a daily basis. If you don't establish strong boundaries now, it will be exausting trying to impliment them later! I know I'm tired currently with my 14 year old "Experiment" as I like to call my first child....live and learn, right! Of course it's all easier said than done, but never give up and you will have raised an amazing person for all of your hard work! Motherhood is definately the most rewarding job I've ever slaved long hours over, for no pay or recognition........Happy parenting!!

Carrie - posted on 04/16/2010

In our home we use timeout for the negative behavior. 1 min. per age of the child...1 = 1min, 2 = 2mins., etc. Have her sit on a chair or stool in a safe place that you can keep an eye on her like hallway, familyroom, etc. Make sure to set a timer, because us moms get busy sometimes. :-) Give her a warning first and if she continues then she goes to timeout. If she gets out of timeout, put her back. It is important to stay calm, because they can feel your tension. Tell her why she is going to timeout and she has to sit there for x amount of time. Don't talk to her or let her have any toys during the timeout. Make sure the timeout spot is the same spot everytime. When timeout is over sit her down with you somewhere besides the timeout spot and explain to her why she was in timeout. Have her apologize for her behavior. Tell her you love her and give her a big hug. :-) This works for us, but every family is different and it might not work for yours. Another option is positive reinforcement such as a small toy or trip for NOT yelling or hitting in a situation where they normally would. Lots of praise for good behavior. Reward charts are great for chores too. Good luck and I am sure you will find something that works for your family. :-)

Joy - posted on 04/16/2010

As a Mum of 4, boy have I been there before. First of all try to keep your cool dont let her wind you up, you are in charge. Always be consistent, if shes naughty and you threaten a punishment then you must see it through, or to her thats all it was a threat nothing important. Next find a punishment to suit her, never mind what everyone else says, I have a 14 year old the best punishment for her is to put a stop on computer or money, my 10 year old its a grounding (just for a night), my 6yr old it can be a grounding or no tv in bed. If they all misbehave at the same time then its sock sorting, yes thats right we have a drawer of odd socks and the punishment is everytime they have to be told to do something 3 times in a row its 5 mins sortin socks. It works!! If she throws tantrums like my 10yr old then the best thing is to put her in her room, just for a few mins 2-5 to rmove her from the situation and to let you both calm down, my daughter has always come down on her own and apologised. If she throws things wait till she calms down then ask her to pick them up, she will realse if she makes a mess she has to clean it. Hope some of this helps, good luck.