i beging to wonder if my 5 year old is bi-polar

Kristi - posted on 07/31/2009 ( 48 moms have responded )

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my 5 year old daughter is an emotional roller-coaster. I believe that in her head if things dont go exactally as she believes they should she falls apart. she has gotten quite angry. to the point of yelling and very mean name calling ( no bad words) including hitting everyone from her sister to me and occasionally dad. punishment are given out accordingly but dont seem to be having any effect. other than causing more anger . we have a rutine and a schedule but still some how things dont ever keep her nutral how do i start to fix this or where to begin?

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Karen - posted on 08/11/2009

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Did they medicate her? If so, do you think this was the best thing for her? I am having an issue with medicating. What are the pros/cons? If we start medicating, will she have to be on medication all of her life? What if as a young adult she decides to stop taking the meds. Will she become so aggresive that she harms someone like you hear with some mental disorders?

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2009

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I live with a bi polar mother, while being bi polar can show itself in childhood, I do not believe these are the signs. The signs would include being up all night, having alot of very high, highs and very low lows, picking at ones skin, etc. That being said, talk to your peditrician at her next check up. She may have ADHD and may need positive reinforcement instead of punishment, i.e. wow, you didn't yell at all today, we are so proud, here pick out of the prize bag. My daughter lies quite a bit. We have broken her of this by when we catch her doing something bad, and she admits it to us right away we still punish her, but also she gets to do one fun thing when her punishment is over.

Stephanie - posted on 08/05/2009

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She sounds pretty normal to me. I don't think they will diagnose for this at 5. But I think it is safe to say she is a normal 5 yr old.

Cori - posted on 08/04/2009

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absolutely nothin. my kids doctor told me that their bodies just digest it into nothing but sugar and kind of become dependant on it. He told me that a lot of kids are being diagnosed with disorders left and right, and it is todays diets that have changed over the years to become easier on our on the go lifestyles. I took his advice and did not believe that it would make a difference, and boy was I wrong. It also seemed like I would have to spend more on groceries, but wrong again. I just learned to cook things from scratch and I save a huge amount on groceries now...and it tastes better!

Cori - posted on 08/04/2009

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It is a very difficult thing to do so brace yourself! It is very much like taking them off drugs. Just throw away things you know she should no have, so there is no temptatons and rely on your crock pot for the days you know hamburger helper will be the only answer!

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Donna - posted on 08/13/2009

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Is it consistant...everyday..or in phases...Keep a journal to see how he moods change...this may be a reflection of when her cycle may fall...she may also be just frustrated with alot going on in her head..ADHD..download or check the internet for ADHD tests and checklists...this will be helpful...

Ana - posted on 08/11/2009

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First of all, at 5 years old there is a pre-puberty rush of hormones that girls get. They are basically dealing with a mild form of PMS. This is likely where the "bipolar" feelings come from.

Obviously it is not ok to call names and hit. Also, you are dealing with a developmental age that is very black and white, so of course she gets mad when things don't go how she thinks they will.

When she is beginning to act out, you need to separate her immediately from the stimulation to calm down. Don't wait till she is boiling over. This can be either a time out (if she has hit, etc) or a chance to just regain her calm. Yoga kids does a technique called "Peace Breath" which I have taught my kids and advocate highly. It increases the oxygen to the brain and helps to calm them. It can also be used outside of an uproar to help induce a quasi meditative state.

If she hits or calls names, then once she is calmed down, she needs to apologize. If she has caused harm, she needs to do something nice to amend for her wrong-doing. These can be simple things like helping dad set the table, or helping a sibling pick up their toys and put them away correctly.

Sometimes she may just have had enough. In those cases, if you can get her to calm down or if she needs to cry it out then fine. But always take the time to talk with her and the other kids about how we feel emotionally and sometimes emotions are strong.

Good luck.

Karen - posted on 08/11/2009

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Oh, my stars.....we went through the no socks issue also. And clothes that touched her. AUGH! It was a nightmare getting ready to go places.

Cyndi - posted on 08/08/2009

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you can have her evaluated by someone whom ur child doctor recommendes. My oldest daughte was same way, still is sometimes. Her doctor sent her to have an evuluation done at a mental counseling center. She has Manic Bi- Polar. She was that way started bout ur child age. They just got her tested about 1 1/2 years ago. I still don't know what to do when she has one of her "fits" I have learned one thing was that just let her go thur her fits then when she calms down tell her what she did wrong and accept punishment as seems fit.

Heather - posted on 08/07/2009

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My 8 year old daughter has OCD and anxiety issues. We kept thinking things would get better since she was 2 and a year ago when it got even worse to the point where she wouldn't wear socks and it took hours to get her to clam down after a melt down we took her to a psychatrist. They started her on some meds and therapy and have adjusted them over the past year and we are doing so much better. We still have our issues such as with the school year starting she is beginning to complain of stomaches. She does this when she will be in a new stuiation. your daughter sounds like she has some of these issues also and I am not a pusher of meds that is why I put it off for so long till we couldn't deal with the person she was becoming. I just couldn't watch her be uncontrolable to the point of hurting others and her not being able to wear her clothes because they "didn't fit right" and all the other problem wee were having. She is at a point now where she can tell you she needs her meds and knows they help her. I could go on forever about this subject because I have been through so much with her. Oh and forgot to mention my daughter is not a very social child either because of her anxiety.

Kara - posted on 08/07/2009

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I have a 12 yr. who is bipolar & we are concerned about her brother who is 6. It is young to be diagnosed, but I would start talk therapy now with a psychologist for that child. In children, the low or depression is often expressed as anger. That is what my daughter had, mania (the high - no sleep, over chipper, constant motion) to a low that was anger at everyone & not even the police could calm her down. Unfortunately, it took hospitalization to get her diagnosed & treated initially. My son, I hope, will not have to get that far (if in fact he has it). If there is bi-polar in the family tree, children have a 75% chance of having it.

Karen - posted on 08/07/2009

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I have been reading your post and some of the comments. I have often wondered about my 9 year old daughter. She has a very strong personality, often defiant, throws tantrums when things are out of her control, etc. I have wondered about the bi-polar issue, but everytime I saw something to someone, they have a whole list of symptoms that could apply to so many other problems. I have tried to change her diet, but at her age and attending school, it is very difficult. Actually, she started hiding/hording food. I definately didn't want to open up another can of worms. It is helping to read these posts, still uncertain how to proceed.

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We often wonder the same thing about our 6 year old daughter. She has been the same way since she was 2. And seems to be getting worse with age. We joke saying we think she has bi polar and call her other personality Lucy. She reacts in the same manner as your daughter, seems like when she's tired or hungry, it brings out the worse in her. When we discipline her, she seems to get worse. We've tried everything, such as timeout, grounding her, sending her to her room, taking things away, seems like nothing works. With each punishment, it seems to actually make things worse. She'll scream hysterically, yet continue with the behavior. Our new approach is just ignoring her. I also tell her brother and sister if she's not being nice to walk away and ignore her. Also, we send her to her room until she can calm down and be reasonable. If she comes down in the same nasty attitude, she goes right back up. Then we make her apologize and explain what she did wrong and tell her the appropiate way of handling a situation. Seems to be working the best out of all the approaches we've tried. Good luck, and hang in there!

Kami - posted on 08/06/2009

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Quoting kristi:

i beging to wonder if my 5 year old is bi-polar

my 5 year old daughter is an emotional roller-coaster. I believe that in her head if things dont go exactally as she believes they should she falls apart. she has gotten quite angry. to the point of yelling and very mean name calling ( no bad words) including hitting everyone from her sister to me and occasionally dad. punishment are given out accordingly but dont seem to be having any effect. other than causing more anger . we have a rutine and a schedule but still some how things dont ever keep her nutral how do i start to fix this or where to begin?



I know how you feel. Your wondering if it'ssomething you did or could have changed right, know its not your fault. My sons are both A.D.H.D and one has a defiant disorder, I once wondered if he was bi-polar too. Get her tested by a specialist it will help even though it may take a while there is medication that will help. I know putting your child on meds seems extreme but my sons just finished thier first year of school with out any expultions. It took 3 years to get meds right . Goob Luck and God Bless.

Jennifer - posted on 08/06/2009

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First of all, yes bi poloar is hereditary. If you have a family history of mental illness then you should be letting your doctor know that. ADHD is also hereditary you should let your doctor know of any history of that, but it could just be your child being a child.

Sheena - posted on 08/06/2009

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alot of you have been saying about diet and as far as i know, spoke with dr, her diet is fine.. is there any sites that you know of that give info about adhd or bipolar in kids and would it be more so if someone in her family has some form of any of these, just wondering? or do kids around this age just try to push you and see where they stand, i was told that once? thank you all for your imput.

Deanna - posted on 08/05/2009

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No smacking use an alternative. If in dought see a child psychiatrist for diagnosis.

Shauna - posted on 08/05/2009

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She sound like alot of 5yr olds to me as well. I am however a big believer in bad diets affecting behaviors. certain food dyes, too much sugar etc. Some of the things you are describing sound possibly sensory though. Is she always hyper sensitive to noises and touch? Some children(and adults) have sensory sensitivities (seeking or avoiding behaviors). Speak to you family dr. a referral to an Occupational Therapist could be appropriate.

Good Luck

Sheena - posted on 08/05/2009

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wow sounds like my girl... she will be 6 soon and goes from moods to moods tho. i dont know how to handle her anymore. i tried time outs and taking her favorite things... she talks back alot. and ideas from all you great mom. this is so nice being able to share this and see other moms having the same issues. thanks for you help...

Laura - posted on 08/05/2009

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Hmmm then my friend who takes Ativan zones out, and not displaying any emotion whatsoever, there were times when I had to keep in check with her kids because of that. I went to the Dr. With her and the Dr. prescribed it to her. Talking to the child when the 'meltdown' is gone when she calms down could be tried. Perhaps when you catch her in a quiet moment herself, she can talk to you as you do the same activity with her. I find it works that communication is the key. As it seems to be a lost art these days. 5 yr olds cannot comprehend every single emotion out there, like we can, and control it to a degree. They act out on it, instead. If you are concerned then talk to your doctor or pediatrician and state what is going on with your daughter, ask for recommendations, such as a referral to Family counselling, because singling out the child, isn't fair, as this is a family unit, as ALL should deal with this and talk about it. We know nothing about the family history of the person who posted this, and she is wanting some advice, from parents that had been in similar situations. Consistency is the key here, as to the "No, that is not OK", to the negative behaviour, then consequence is desired right after the negative action. Tell her why her behaviour is inappropriate. We are not to judge whether her daughter has some neurological disorder, that is for the Dr. to determine. Keep in touch with her counsellor at school and ask him/her to monitor her for the first few months closely, to see how she is with her peers. Maybe the school counsellor could also refer you to resources as well. Having a new baby in the house can escalate things, as you pay attention more to the baby than to your older child, especially if they are relatively close age gaps. There could be numerous reasons why she is acting the way she is. I'd best start talking to your doctor about it and get resources on it, or get some books at the library and read up about it. I NEVER said they CHOOSE to have these disorders! Where did I say that? I had a friend that blamed her 5 year old at the time, saying that she forgot to take her Ritalin, it is not her 5 year old's responsibility to get her own medications. She blamed her 5 year old daughter for that. Then she had to deal with 'Hell" with her then 5 year old daughter for the day, because she went off the wall, all because she wanted her 5 yr old daughter to be responsible for taking her own meds. Sad...

Michele - posted on 08/05/2009

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Laura, I think your perception of mental health issues may be skewed. Sometimes there is a reason for bad behavior such as adhd and bipolar. These children have an imbalance in their brain or a disconnect in their neurotransmitters. They do not choose to have these disorders and they want nothing more than to have approval from adults like all other children. Telling a child with one of these disorders "No" sometimes escalates the situation. The aggression these kids display can last for hours and telling them who's boss doesn't work. As for adults, Ativan does not block emotions, but controls anxiety so that people can function. If they did not take the Ativan, some people with anxiety disorders wouldn't leave their house.

Billie Jo - posted on 08/05/2009

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My daughter is now 13, went through this as well. Luckily she outgrew it, but was very miserable (me) until she hit about 8. I took her to a neurologists as teachers said she had HDHD and was hyper. SHe was neither. I cut out sodas and such and she got a bit better, but mainly I created the monster as I gave into everything because it was easier for me to get her out of my hair.

Laura - posted on 08/05/2009

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Everyone always labels kids as bi-polar, or ADHD when they act up a certain way. Then the quick fix is Ritalin or some other drug to dope them up and not deal with the REAL problem that lies beneath it all, like an adult taking ativan to block emotions. EVERY kid acts up, at some point. Tell her who is the boss of the house. Put her in a time out, or distract her to do something quietly. Is she just overstimulated with something? My son gets that way, I limit his computer game time to half hour in the AM and half hour in the PM. That way he isn't too overstimulated and cranky. Take her to the park or something, that way she can burn some extra energies. Give her a time out! Say NO to bad behaviour, and explain why it isn't appropriate. Don't ever tell her she is a bad child. It is a bad behaviour.

Anything new happen in your household? Why do you think she is really angry, she is angry at something. Give her the time out, with NOTHING she can play with, then go and talk to her in a human way, what made her angry or feel angry. Be calm when you talk to her, because that shows that there is respect. You talk and she listens, she talks and you listen.

Denice - posted on 08/05/2009

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My son started same behavior @ that age maybe younger. We thought he would mature and grow out of it.. we were so wrong. He has gotten worse in some ways. He is currently seeing a counselor, and was diagnost w/ add. We tried several months w/ no meds, and finally decided to try meds. There has been some improvement. I would suggest definately talk to your doctor, and seek counseling.

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2009

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my daughter has been showing signs of being bi-poler for years and not until here lately did the phycologest tell me she was bi-polar I had tried to medicate her and it just made it worse so (as far as her bing medicated talk to you doctor and find the best form of medication for your daughter and what the side affects are if you choose to medicate her after you take her in to get her tested......)Get her tested.....Now back to my daughter the reason they diganosed her with being bi-poler is because she dose self bodly harm has your child ever done self bodly harm? My daughter is only 7 and she started by banging her head against the wall when she was around 3. look for little signs of her hurting herself. around a year ago she got worse by scratching herself until she bleeds and if she is not bleeding enough she will squizze until she is satisfyed with how much she is bleeding yourr daughte probley have not gone this far one mor question dose by-polar run any where in your family because it does in hers by her fathers family.if you need to talk you can cotact me

Michele - posted on 08/05/2009

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Wow! This sounds like my 6 yr old son with the exception of being withdrawn from his peers. He has very bad allergies and was treated very young, which masked many of these behaviors. When we took him off, he turned into a terror (but only at home). I began keeping a food journal and documenting his behaviors. We cut out all foods with artificial coloring and certain preservatives and saw some improvement in his behavior. We began with our pediatrician who then sent us to all sorts of doctors to rule out medical issues. It took a full year of going to different doctors, but after a few months with his current psych. & therapist, they diagnosed him with adhd and is now on meds (which was a difficult decision). Bi-polar and add behaviors mimic each other when they are this young. Best of luck to you and your daughter.

Jodie - posted on 08/05/2009

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i would try the food thing first because you wouldnt want to put her on needless drugs or anything like that but if you dont see an improvement then go to see your doctor , he should be able to refer you to the person you need!! best of luck, it must be so hard tryin to deal with this issue while not upsetin her sister!!!

Melanie - posted on 08/04/2009

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I am not a doctor nor am I pretending to be but from what you have described it could be ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder), this ranges from aspergers to Autism. But the best way to work out what is wrong is go to your doctor and talk about your daughters behaviours. Spend a few days documenting - what set her off, the time it occured, her reaction, and your reaction. Going armed with this information may enable your doctor to rule a few things out/in. I know the documenting sounds time consuming but it may help you see if there are any patterns.

Kristi - posted on 08/04/2009

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that is a fantastic idea thank you i will try it i remember hearing something about that but didnt even cross my mind

Cori - posted on 08/04/2009

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I would take a look at your daughter's diet. If you are feeding her a lot of processed foods you should take them immediately out of her diet. No more mac and cheese, or white bread etc. My son went through this at the same age and we found that by making homemade things, and whole wheat everything, it made a huge difference. He went through about 3 weeks of sugar let down ( think of a druggie) it was very difficult, but he transsformed into an amazing boy again. My doctor told us if we do not know what the first five ingredients are that we should not feed it to him.

Patricia - posted on 08/03/2009

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My daughter just turned five and she can wake up with a smile and be grumpy, whiney, and miserable within minutes. lol. We're not ever sure which "Ashley" we are going to have from minute to minute. When things don't as planned...forget it! She can cry for what seems like ages in her room trying to get attention. I'm praying it is the age!

Autum - posted on 08/03/2009

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Mania may cause a person to:

* Feel extremely happy or very irritable.
* Have a very high opinion of himself or herself (inflated self-esteem).
* Not need as much sleep as usual (feel rested after 3 hours of sleep).
* Talk more than usual.
* Be more active than usual.
* Have difficulty concentrating because of having too many thoughts at the same time (racing thoughts).
* Be easily distracted by sights and sounds.
* Act impulsively or do reckless things, such as go on shopping sprees, drive recklessly, get into foolish business ventures, or have frequent, indiscriminate, or unsafe sex.

Depression may cause a person to:

* Feel sad or anxious for a significant time.
* Feel hopeless or pessimistic.
* Have slowed thoughts and speech because of low energy.
* Have difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions.
* Have changes in eating and sleeping habits leading to too much or too little eating or sleeping.
* Have decreased interest in usual activities, including sex.
* Have suicidal thoughts.
* Not enjoy things he or she normally would enjoy.

Types of bipolar disorder

* Bipolar I. Considered the classic form of the illness, bipolar I causes recurrent episodes of mania and depression. The depression may last for a short time or for months. You may then go back to feeling normal for a time, or you may go right into a manic episode.
* Bipolar II. If you have bipolar II, you will experience depression just as in bipolar I. But the episodes of mania are less severe (hypomania). People with bipolar II have more depressive episodes than hypomanic episodes.
* Rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. If you have rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, you will experience at least four episodes of depression, mania, or both within a 12-month period. You may go directly from an episode of depression to an episode of mania, or you may have a short time lapse between the two extreme moods. The mood swings are the same as with other types of bipolar, but the frequency of mood swings distinguishes rapid-cycling bipolar disorder from the other subtypes.

Some people may have bipolar disorder with mixed symptoms, in which episodes of depression and mania occur together. Symptoms include sadness, euphoria, and irritability. Other symptoms can include agitation, lack of sleep, appetite changes, and possibly, thoughts of suicide. This makes the disorder challenging to treat and very frustrating for you and for those around you. It can also lead to hospitalization if your daily functioning becomes impaired.

In addition to changes in mood, some people with bipolar disorder also have symptoms of anxiety, panic attacks, or symptoms of psychosis. hope this helps I have a 6 yr old who is Bi Polar ADHD and ODD

Alisha - posted on 08/03/2009

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As far as i know children do not get bi-polar disorder. maybe it's just her being a typical 5 year old with ups and downs more characteristically suited with her mood. Please do not take this the wrong way at all but have you considered behavioural thereapy. she will not need a psych assessment or anything like that. all it involves is a visit and chat with your local community health centre. they would be best to guide you in the right direction. Bi polar affective disorder is more of a hyperactive and depressive mood swing (that tends to be the extremeties of) which could be quite rapid between or months between resulting in the occasional need for hospitalisation. Hope this helped!
Alisha

Kristi - posted on 08/02/2009

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well kalista is behind educationally she isnt catching on to the simplest things. so that is a seprate issue but todays adventure we were heading home from my work and her sister was singing in the car with the music and once again kalista had a melt down to the point where i had to finally ask her sister to stop and then it was still not enough for her every little noise that her sister made caused another emotional melt down by the point we got home i thought i was going to drive thru a wall just to stop the screaming. i know that kindergarden is going to be a huge trial.

Pepper - posted on 08/02/2009

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It sounds a lot like my 5 year old. He falls apart when things don't go the way he thinks they should. I don't meen when he doesn't get his way but when events don't unfold the way he had them planned in his head. He gets upset if he thinks I'm coming in one door and hes going to hug me and then I come in another door. He used to fall to pieces if he was cutting along a line and messed up or couldn't figure out how to play a game. It was really bad when he was 4 but he still gets over upset when he doesn't win at a game or can't figure out a puzzle. I am not competitive at all so I don't think it has anything to do with us pushing him. My husband and I always try and tell him that its ok not to win or everyone takes time to learn things. I don't know if this is normal behavior or if I should be concerned. His preschool teacher called it "social and emotional issues" but says academically he's way ahead.

Diandra - posted on 08/02/2009

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My suggestion is to go and get her testes.....and then you can know what to do after that

Dana - posted on 08/02/2009

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Please this is nothing to joke around about if you really feel this way please get help!! I have watched my brother go this this with his child and it has not been easy!! We missed the warning signs and said it's "That's just Kayla"!!

Jodi - posted on 08/02/2009

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Kristis, counselling sounds like a good idea. Make sure it is someone qualified for counselling children and parents. At least this way, if there is something, the counsellor can help you deal with it, and if it is just a matter of changing disiplinary techniques, they will be able to help you there too. If it is as distressing as you describe, then this would be a really good idea :)

Renee - posted on 08/02/2009

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my 9yr old son is bi-polar and ur daughter has some of the same symptons that he has and had. i took him to a counsler and a shrink to get thinngs rolling. she needs to be tested. they act out with anger because they feel like they have no control. they also like to have control. stick to ur guns and take her to the right doctors and u will see an improvement. as hard as it seems u need to remain calm. i know its hard but they dont react as violent as when u yell. my son still has good days and bad days. he always will. but together we will get thru this

Kristi - posted on 08/02/2009

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she is slowly getting better at being a social child for a verry long time when we would go to day care of any kind she would remain verry solitary, she plays very well on her own wich is a good thing but worrysome she will sit with her figurines for 2 hours strait but then fall apart cus she lost a chair for her house . if here sister makes it into the car b 4 her she calls her a stupid jerk butt head on and on and falls apart but then 2 seconds later she is laughing histerically she is a huge rollercoaster i honestly never know what emotion i am gunna get from her

Jodi - posted on 08/02/2009

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Kristi, has this been happening all along, and just gotten prgressively worse, or is it sudden thing?

Kristi - posted on 08/02/2009

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its not so much that she doesnt get her way and falls aparat it like her head cant make the conecction that its ok that the rasberrys touched the nuts on her plate or that her shirt didnt get on the right way .... when i say it like that it sounds more like OCD lol .. we have tried the go to your own area until you can calm down and discouss it but it will literally last all day .

Jodi - posted on 08/02/2009

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Sounds exactly like my daughter, LOL! She is 4 1/2 and can be absolutely nasty when she doesn't get her way. What has worked for us, is any time she gets like that, I put her in her room until she can calm down and use her words. The only time I can ever reason with her is when she has calmed down. Every 5 minutes I go and check if she wants to come out and talk about it now, and if she is still screaming at me to go away, I leave it, and so on. One day it was a full hour before she would even discuss it. Once she is calm, we discuss her behaviour, discuss the cause of the behaviour, and discuss any punishment, or, any punishment that will happen if she does it again.



Now, it only takes the 5 minutes for her to calm down and deal with it. I think she has realised that it WILL be dealt with, so there is no point putting it off, and she really doesn't want to spend an hour in her room. She is learning to be much better at controlling her temper. I wouldn't say perfect yet, but improving greatly.

Deirdre - posted on 08/01/2009

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Hello. Bi-Polar is a very hard to detect illness. From what you are saying, it just seems like you daughter is a typical, " wanting her way" 5 year old. You may need to change up the way she is discipline and they way you react to her when she is upset. I had a little cousin like that, and when he would " acted out" we would ignore him until he acting like a " big boy".

Hope - posted on 08/01/2009

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Wow! I am not sure it is bi-polar, as that is episodes of mania and depression. She may have an anger issue or not adjusting to something quite right. My son has anger issues when his father decides to come in and out of his life and acts out due to his anger. My fiancee and I have put him in counseling to help him and it really has. Have you ever thought about that?

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