i need some advice regarding my 6yr olds behaivour?

Ashlee - posted on 04/19/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son well be seven this summer. hes a very good loving little boy.

The past couple of weeks his behavour/attitude has totally flipped. all of a sudden if he gets told or asked to do something he does not want to do..he well start screaming loud "why are you doing this to me" or he well start getting very mouthy he well say no and just wont move or listen or he well say im not listening to you or cover his ears . if i give him a "time out" in his room he screams very loud, and i mean very loud like hes dilebratley trying to get you upset or get your attention. kicks the door bangs the walls . if i go in there to try to calm him down o r get him to stop he hides under the bed . he wont listen to me at all. if i even try to communicate to him about anything negative like chores or plans we have or what not he doesnt just say no or get upset he totally freaks out and flips on you. and he well scream his head of making it sound like you are beating him. im gettinb stressed out i dont know what to do or how to help him......any advice w ould be highly appreciated....thankyou

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Pamela - posted on 04/21/2012

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What do you call a "time out'? Just putting him in his room for poor behavior is NOT a 'time out'. It is a PUNISHMENT which is why he is probably reacting in this manner.

A TRUE 'time out' is when you sit down with the child, call attention to his behavior, IN A CALM, LOVING VOICE AND MANNER. Then tell him what you consider to be the proper action. Ask him to think about what he has done and find words to explain it to you. Separate him from you....not necessarily in his room with the door shut...perhaps a few feet away ......siting quietly while he thinks about it. Then time the 'time out'....never more than 5 minutes. Ask him for his opinion. Continue the process until he can explain his behavior as best he can.

A 'time out' is only given for the child to think about what he has done and come back to explain why and give an apology.

YOU have to remember to control your reaction and temper to get a 'time out' to work!!!

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Lea - posted on 04/30/2012

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Hi Ashlee, I can understand how frustrating it can be. I agree that your son is probably upset about something and is maybe not sure how to communicate with you about it. As for time outs I have an area in the living room that is the time out corner and when one of my children ends up there I tell them why so they understand. I usually warn them that they are going into time out if they dont stop their current behavior. Time out in our house is one minute per year of age. If they talk or leave their time starts over. I have a 7 yr old daughter, however, who is all about drawing attention to herself especially when she gets in trouble. I don't put her in the corner, I send her to her room and tell her not to come out until she calms down. If she tears up her room, kicks the walls, screams at the top of her lungs or whatever I just ignore it, or try very hard to though I hear everything :). If she ignores me then I tell her I'm going to do the same thing to her. Kids don't like being ignored especially by mom who is always supposed to be there no matter what.
Good luck with your son. Try finding time to just spend time with him, not talking about chores but about him and what he learned at school. I sometimes have to remember that each of my kids need one on one time with me and just talking about them and their day means a lot to them.

Patricia - posted on 04/25/2012

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i think that there is somrthing really bothering your child beforevyou do anything else vplease try and talk to your little boy

Lisa - posted on 04/21/2012

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I totally agree with Katherine & Tracy makes a good point too. I've had the same type of struggles with both of my boys. It's important for your son to know that you love him no matter what he does, and that you do not think that this kind of behavior is acceptable. We've started this habit: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/03/h... and it has helped TREMENDOUSLY in our home. Good luck and God bless you!

Tracy - posted on 04/20/2012

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It sounds to me like he is pretty desperate for your attention, has anything changed lately in his life? In my opinion, the very best way to deal with tantrums is to completely ignore them (once you've put them in "time out") Tantrums are a serious way to test boundaries/get attention and you need to let him know it's not the way to get his way/what he wants. You mentioned you went back in to calm him down; try not doing it. Eventually he will figure out you mean business and you won't respond to his screaming; pretty soon he'll stop if he's not getting what he wants from it. Good luck, we all have our own struggles.

Katherine - posted on 04/19/2012

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My 6 year old does the same thing. Does this happen right after school? I think that has a huge part in it. They are used to SO much direction and then they come home and have to meet more demands. I allow my daughter a cooling off period. Like a quite time before she does HW or anything else.



That helps a lot. Otherwise she goes nuts. You have to remember they can only take so much. All day in school is a lot for them. Try giving him a break and see how it goes.

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