Is it normal for a 6 yr. old boy to be so enfactuated with the butt?

Summer - posted on 11/29/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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He has had a serious fascination with his butt/anus for several years now and I've not let myself be too concerned about it. However, he's now interested in others anus'. His father called me saying that he caught him trying to stick his finger in another boy's butt. I was mortified! I have talked to only one person about this and they said it wasn't all that abnormal. However, I'm still very uneasy about the situation. I don't want to demean him or perhaps worsen the situation by scolding him or accidentally saying the wrong thing. He has recently been asking questions about sex and I have just kind of shrugged it off. Should I start there? Should I just confront the situation head on? Should I let this be done with and hope it doesn't happen again? I'm just so unsure how to handle this situation and I DON'T want to make it worse. Please help!

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Rocio - posted on 11/29/2009

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I have a 6 year old and mine has never had such inclinations, I do as a teacher tell you that if one of our students ever did anything like what you described it could be seen as a flag for something going on at home or like others have said seen too much..i wouldn't scold, but I wouldn't just leave it alone either..I deal with 6 year olds and its not the norm

Sheal - posted on 12/13/2009

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Quoting Kylie:

Its normal for most kids to go through this, just explain things to him. your right not to scold him he will think its wrong, be open with him


Absolutely agree with this. You can also explain to him that some things we do in private without making it seem wrong. Compare it to going to the bathroom, we do that in private as well. Use language that is age appropriate and always be open and honest with your kids.



 



We also use the proper terms for body parts, makes it easier to talk about them. If he has questions you can answer them in age appropriate ways as well. This teaches them that their body is not a taboo thing to talk about or ask questions about. Children are naturally inquisitive of their bodies and surroundings, you are doing a great job of making no big deal out of it and they do grow out of the "butts are fascinating" phase - I promise.

Sandra - posted on 12/02/2009

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my six year old son..finds butt talk hilerious. We have constant conversations about appropriate behavior. We have had to talk to his teacher because he found it funny to moon his mates at lunch time. It is a constant talking of space and what is private and appropriate...good luck...sometimes getting a doc or psychologist seems to work better...

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Imhismommy08 - posted on 07/07/2013

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My son is 4 and he has had an unhealthy infatuation with his backside. He has been found putting toys in it, his fingers, and asking other children to touch it.
He has NEVER seen me in the act, he has NEVER seen a video he shouldn't, and he has NEVER been around anyone that finds it ok to do that.
I have told him it's not ok to do that and it could hurt him. I get so mad when he does it and I just don't know what to tell him. He is only 4, he doesn't understand sex. He started doing this when he was 3 and he stopped for a while and I just recently caught him doing it again. I just want to scream and spank him but that's not going to do any good. I am worried about him!!!

Summer - posted on 12/07/2009

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Well, thank you everyone for all your input. I worried that I may not be giving that "opportunity" again to have this talk with him.. however, within a few days I was faced with the issue of him just simply trying to draw attention to his privates. We sat down and I told him that it was ok to be having the feel good feelings in his privates. I explained that this was normal and he would grow up and get hairy too. He threw in "like a goatee (however that's spelled)" I was just like, yeah! We talked about the good touch and bad touch. I told him that if he were touched bad he could ignore every rule we've ever had to get away from them. We made up a secret handshake promise that meant if it were to happen he promised to tell me.. no matter who it was. It went well and since then he has even brought up questions on his own. It wasn't weird, either. It went better than I ever could have imagined.
Also, my dad suggested that I give him more time to spend outside playing hard like riding his bike, running, wrestiling and doing other boy things. Just some way to get out that growing testosterone. Strange, but I hadn't really thought about his testosterone levels rising..

Lisa - posted on 12/02/2009

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My son is almost 6 and he has a fascination with butts also it is not touching but talking about it and farts and poop it seems everything is about the butt or he turns it into it we have had several talks about personal space and what is appropriate to talk about it has not seemed to calm down the talking about but the touching has stopped. good luck

Tammy - posted on 12/02/2009

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I have two boys and we hear a lot about the butt! Also farting and burping the ABC's. While yes it needs to be addressed if anyone has ever touched him on his private areas, don't freak out because it could be nothing. Some kids are fascinated by different things. You need to set him down and discuss that there are certain areas that are private and they do not need to be touched by other people except for medical reasons. This is also a good time to discuss unwanted touching from others and what to do if it happens. I have learned that age appropriate open communication is good so the kids know that they can talk to you about things like that. Don't ever make the child embarrassed or they will not come to you when they want to talk about taboo subjects. It is never too early to discuss with your child about unwanted touching or touching others inappropriately. You are protecting them from being abused.

Stacy - posted on 11/29/2009

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At six, I imagine he may of walked in on you and your husband at least once, and perhapse turned the t.v to a channel he should not of seen. I'd tell him it is okay to be courise, but it is not okay to tuch people in their "no, no" place. Have you had the good tuch bad tuch talk with him? If not, maybe that would be a good place to start. Just answer his quetions as they come along. Kids want to know everything about everything. Don't make him feel bad about these things, but do tell him that he should not do it again.

The libary might have books on how to talk to school aged children about sex. Me personally I just talked to my kids from the heart. Good luck!

Angie - posted on 11/29/2009

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I think it sounds abnormal. I have 3 children and none of them have ever thought another person's anus was anything but private to that person. With that said, you and Kylie are right, scolding isn't appropriate. However, an honest conversation about respecting other people's personal space is appropriate. You and his father need to speak to him about any questions he might have about sex and where he is getting his information.

Kylie - posted on 11/29/2009

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Its normal for most kids to go through this, just explain things to him. your right not to scold him he will think its wrong, be open with him

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