is it ok to allow your children to miss school?

Amy - posted on 03/01/2010

You know, it's really not going to hurt them, and they'll definately benefit from your revitalized marriage. It's not optimal, but life rarely is! If you were doing this monthly, I'd have a different opinion. But as long as they are doing well in school, and they are so young, I think it's just fine!

Good luck with your decision!

Amanda - posted on 03/01/2010

I think at that age I would not think twice about kids missing a couple of days for a genuine reason such as yours. Our lives are made of so many memories and events, the ability to be flexible and to learn from other experiences is as valuable as the time in school at that age. I took my kids out of school for several weeks at around that age to visit friends in another country. Sure they missed a unit of enquiry at school - but that was more than compensated for by a very rich learning experience and some family time which they will remember for the rest of their lives. The questions I would be asking - if you are both going to be away- is where will the kids be safest and most emotionally stable / happy while you are away, not whether the school will approve. Good luck with your decision :)

Tiffany - posted on 02/28/2010

I'm pretty shocked people feel so strongly about a 2-day break for the kiddos - we take them from our jobs on occasion. If the question had to do with not feeling up to going or if the convention lasted two weeks instead of two days that's a different issue - but in the grand scheme of school - I would venture the teacher wouldn't mind that they missed and may take the time off his/herself if given the same opportunity!

Sylvia - posted on 02/28/2010

I would let a child that age miss school, if unavoidable, for something really important (a family wedding, a religious holiday, some once-in-a-lifetime event like, say, the chance to attend an Olympic event locally ;^)). Never just for a vacation or something like that. (Not that we have ever been on a vacation, LOL). It's not that I think you miss much when you miss a day of kindergarten or grade 1, and it's not that I'm fussed about perfect attendance -- it's more that, as you say, it sets a not-so-great precedent if you let your kids skip school for anything and everything; someday their university professors will really, really not thank you for that :P

Frankly, I have no idea what a "church conference" might be or where it would fit into my mental hierarchy of things it is and isn't okay to miss school for. Your kids are so little that who knows, they might well not even remember in a couple of years that you let them miss 2 days of school...

Maria - posted on 02/28/2010

I understand what are you saying, sometimes with do not have any help with our kids. Stablish just a number of days that your kids are going to miss school for diferent reasons than being sick, let's say 2 or 3 days per school year, not more ... and since they are too litlle I don't think is a big deal ...

Samantha - posted on 02/27/2010

not being funny but i disagree with yre hubby.this isnt a important thing is it?i dont no the rules to these things.but my kids only have time of school if they are ill or there is a real emergency.can you not put of this conference till another time.im sorry but my kids will come first every time.just my opinion sorry..

Wendy - posted on 02/27/2010

I used to be a teacher and I don't feel that students missing a few days hurts them if they are already doing good academically. It does require a lot of time on the teachers part to prepare the work to take home. Of course, with the schools competing for good scores most will not agree with me.

Desiree - posted on 02/27/2010

Since they are still in the first cupple of grades and already have good attendance it should be fine that they miss a few days, you may want to see if your older one can get a little bit school work that he'll be missing those days. If you can find another sitter it woud be good too. But don't worrie missing 2 days out of a year isnt bad and don't worrie about sending the wrong message its not like you let them stay home when ever they want to or for just because. Tell them that this conference is important for what ever your reasons are and they should be fine.

Amy - posted on 02/27/2010

I don't think 2 days is a big deal at all. Especially at those grade levels. The benefits of having spent time with extended family really out weigh the loss of school. The grandparents will not always be there, but school will be.
I also allow my children the occasional "mental health" day. This is very good for my oldest who often gets overwhelmed in school.JMO

Stephanie - posted on 02/27/2010

I don't think 2 days is a big deal at all - my daughter is in Kindergarten and has missed 2 days of school so far this entire year for "extracurricular" activities. As long as you don't make a habit of it and also, they are so young. A church convention is definitely important!

Laura - posted on 02/26/2010

When I was little we always missed school for family vacations. We just got our schoolwork from our teachers. No big deal.

Cristina - posted on 02/26/2010

It really depends on how your children do at school...
Will it set them back by missing? Would the teachers be flexible by allowing them to make up some of the work at home, while at the grandparents, or during an upcoming weekend?
For the majority of kids at this age, I don't think missing two days of school (in a unique situation) would give them the wrong signal, as long as you take the time to explain that to them.
But mostly you should follow your gut feeling, since something prompted you to post this here, maybe there are some concerns that we cannot know simply from your post.

Jennifer - posted on 02/26/2010

At that age 2 days is not going to hurt. However, you should try to arrange for another sitter or perhaps a friend's house that perhaps they could stay at that go to school as well. I wouldn't make it a habit but it won't effect them and if there is work that is important ask the teacher if it can be done at home.

Rebecca - posted on 02/26/2010

p.s. if you really feel uncomfortable about it, can they not stay with parents of another child they are friends with??

Rebecca - posted on 02/26/2010

i would take my kids out of school for various reasons (e.g. death in the family, educational experience for them, and no other way around it), but i wouldn't make it a regular occurrence ... and make sure you find out everything you can about what happened in the class while you were away and help your kids catch up!

Frederica - posted on 02/26/2010

I don't feel that its wrong to let your kids miss somedays out of school. We all need a break sometimes including kids. So don't feel guilty.

Lisa - posted on 02/26/2010

I dont see a problem with missing school as long as its once in a while, when they get older and have tons of classes and tons of homework that may seem to cause a problem. My kids missed a day of school because their father and I got married on Halloween this past year and we were on a "honeymoom" they were at grandmas for 3 days. Wait unitl they are older and fake sick, I used to all the time, I was a straight A student so missing a day never hurt me.

Joanne - posted on 02/23/2010

I don't let my daughter miss school unless she's sick because I want her to know that school at this point in her life is of utmost importance. I think you should talk over with your husband what your priorities are. Which is more important? Would the gains of attending the conference be greater than 2 days of school? Would the whole family benefit from this conference? Will the conference push through without you? Everyday, we make a deposit into our children's memory banks. Whatever you decide, please make it a wise investment for your children. Good luck!

Sharalyn - posted on 02/23/2010

At that young of age, if you explain that this is a special circumstance for XYZ, they're not going to think that it will set them up for wanting to skip unless you either A) make this a practice or B) make such a big deal out of it that they think it will push your buttons to ask to get out of school.

Ask the teachers ahead of time for the schoolwork they will need to make up, and have them do it at their grandparents' home. They'll probably finish in record time just so they can play!

We took our son out of first grade for a full week. Sadly, it took him all of a total of 8 hours to finish all the work that it would have taken the school to do in 5 full days of school. We turned the "vacation" into a learning experience (first trip to East Coast), and he gave a small oral report on what he learned there to his class.

HTH!

Jessica - posted on 02/23/2010

That's a hard one. Generally, I agree that a child should only miss school if he/she is sick, but I have taken my kid out for a day to spend with his grandpa who he only sees once a year. It's up to you as the parent to decide if it's something that's important for you and your family to go to. And if they do miss school, to only miss what they absolutely have to miss and work hard to catch up on any missed schoolwork.

Krissen - posted on 02/23/2010

Thank you for the suggestions & comments. I appreciate all the responses. Thanks again!

Brooke - posted on 02/16/2010

Wow, such strong answers to both sides. What is your school's policy? In know that once my children hit 4th grade, unexcused (not being sick, death in family, etc) absences are frowned upon. After 6th grade, the parents must visit the school personally to discuss why the child will miss school. Since we are talking K & 1st, I would see what the teacher thinks. I know my kids have missed days in those lower grades for similar reasons and they have not grown up to be derelicts, yet I don't take advantage either - we NEVER plan vacation during school. Also (and I really would rather not hear comments on this, since no one but me knows my children), I allow my children one "Mental Health Day" a semester if their grades are strong. This is a day they get to spend time with me - no video games or tv, just quality time. Everyone's job gives a few personal days. I have found that when used (only used 3 out of 12 opportunities), the child believes you understand them more (instead of being a task master and demanding they go to school - I've had bosses like that and I have no loyalty nor respect for them...) and you truly care about their needs. It has never backfired, and we have always caught up on the homework (through 3rd grade only).

If you are going to the conference for the right reasons, then it is YOUR decision to take your children out of school, not theirs - and make sure they know that they have no influence in this decision. I understand you - I live in a place where I have no family to help and if something comes up for me - well, I usually can't do it.

My last comment is this - if you are feeling guilty, then do the thing that gives you no guilt. Since you are a Godly person, you know that guilt can be a sign that we are off God's path....Blessings

Karen - posted on 02/15/2010

I agree with you that it's not OK for kids to miss school. Is it crucial that both you and your husband be at the conference? Yes, God is important but so is learning responsibility. The kids' responsibility is to go to school. Can the Grandparents stay at your house for a few days? Is there a family close by with whom they could stay and they could get the kids to school for you? Unless the conference is vitally important to your job (aka you could lose it), then you have a responsibility here, too which is to have your kids be in school at all times, not miss because your plans fell through. You also have to consider the teachers and other kids here, too. Having kids in and out of class is disruptive to the teachers teaching and the other kids learning. It also sets a really bad example for the kids themselves, even though they are young they learn from your example and taking them out of school for a conference (unless you can lose your job) is basically taking them out of school so you can have a vacation (harsh I know, but that is the message sent). It also makes it easier for the next time you have a tough decision - 2 days because they're young leads to 3 days for a family getaway because we don't have enough time together leads to a week at Disney at a time where it's not busy season because it's cheaper and there are less people. It sets up that mind set that school is less important than other things that might come up. Bottom line, unless you or your husband could lose your job for not going, one of you stay, the Grandparents come to you, or find another babysitter, but you should not pull the kids out of school.

Deanna - posted on 02/13/2010

Let them spend the time with grandparents .They won't always be around and they will treasure those moments. Just get the work from the teacher and maybe grandma can do it with them. Don't stress over a rare occurence.

Michele - posted on 02/05/2010

I believe there are times when it's okay for a child to miss school. Our kids hardly ever miss any school, however there have been times when we have aloud it to happen. I don't make a habit of allowing it, and they understand the situation and the circumstances going into it. School is important and children should understand that, therefore we always make sure if our kids have to miss school that they do some educational learning and reading that day at home. Just because they didn't go to school doesn't mean they are completely off the hook. I believe we all know our children and circumstances better than anyone elsel and because of that I'm sure you will make the best decision for your children and yourselves. Best wishes.....

Angie - posted on 02/05/2010

I think it's great that you are showing your children that God comes FIRST! If you can find a different babysitter or if their grandparents can stay with them at your home, that's great. If you can't find another sitter, don't, for even a second, feel bad about showing them that God is first in your lives. If they were missing school to go to a sporting event or something else that isn't important, I'd say no, but in this case you are doing exactly what God would want. 2 days isn't going to make a difference to such young children. Get their work ahead of time and they won't fall behind at all.

Celeste - posted on 02/04/2010

I think that if you have your children stay with their grandparents for the two days it is not a bad thing. Parents do it for alot of reasons because they have to go out of town to work or illness in the family so for you and your husband to have the church conference its important and you still want them to be cared for like you would care for them so its natural to have them stay with the grandparents.
they are young and I dont believe they will have any ideas of missing school being something that would be condoned for any reason. Best wishes to you and your family.

Anna - posted on 02/03/2010

I feel so not OK if its not reasonable !! :):)

ANGELA - posted on 02/03/2010

in the first place your child needs the best from both of you,let your child go to school always and will grow up into displined individual.

Evie - posted on 02/02/2010

you dont want kids to miss to much of school at that age at school because it can send thenm backwards with school work at times but if its like doctors and its like you cant get anyone to look after them well yes they have to have the day off then .

Ciara - posted on 02/02/2010

I would try to find another babysitter. But if worse3 comes to worse you can let them miss 2 days. But let them know, " This will not be a everyday coccurance but ... "

My stepson ( 7 yrs old 2nd grader ) had to miss school for a family members death that he didnt know but he still missed 6 days of school. I don't let my son ( 4 yr old Preschool ) miss school unless he's sick or has an outta town doctors appoitment. Well, hopefully I hel[ped a little bit.