Is There Anything I Can Do To Help My Son Get A Best Friend?

Michelle - posted on 12/28/2008 ( 11 moms have responded )

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He is 8 and half years old and since he is an only child I would really like him to have a best friend. He has friends but none of them are really close to him. He is also quiet and shy so if he happens to be in a group situation with these friends they tend to ignore him and pay more attention to the friends they have that are closer to him which makes me feel bad when that happens to my son. Any advice on how I can help him establish a strong bond with another child?

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Alexandra - posted on 02/25/2011

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Sometimes kids at school can be very clique-ish, and some kids get left out, or just don't quite fit in. I was one of those kids growing up.

Try finding interests he has outside of school. There are community groups he could join. Art, music, sports, martial arts, dinosaurs, cars/trucks, robotics, electronics, animals, etc...outside of his school. In that way he will make friends outside the cliques with kids that share his own interests.

Some kids are just late bloomers. He will find a close friend in his own time, in his own way. You wrote that he does have friends though, so try not to worry too much...he is socializing, just not the way you'd like. He will be ok.

Julie - posted on 01/04/2009

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I have this same issue. It is so difficult and I don't know what to do either. The sad thing is that my 14 year old has friends over all the time and now my 5yr old step daughter has become good friends with one of my friends daughters so she also has someone. But the 10yr old has no one. I have tried to get him to invite someone over or to ask for a phone numbers but he is so shy he won't. I know he would love to play with someone but I don't know of any 10yr old boys. He is always odd man out. I feel terrible for him.

Michelle - posted on 01/02/2009

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Yes, my son seems happy but I have to pursue a lot of the playdates with parents. It is very rare that people call us for playdates so if he had a best friend perhaps then he would also be able to have playdates more frequently with the same child instead of having them once every three weeks or once a month with each one of his friends.

Sandra - posted on 01/02/2009

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Does he seem happy? If so who is it you are trying to please? Please don't be offended by this, my son is the exact same way. He does have a younger sister who is very outgoing. My best advice is to find an activity he likes. (for my son it is Tae-Kwan-Do.) Find something that makes him happy that he can succeed at and feel confident about. Friendships may evolve from this, or it will give him more confidence to approach other kids at school. I know that you want the best for him. Good luck.

Michelle - posted on 01/01/2009

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Thanks for all the advice. It probaby might be a good idea to invite a couple of kids over at once so he gets used to being in a group situation.

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My son is 10 and he has a couple close friends at his dad's house, but not here. I wish he had a group of kids that he hung with, or even one close friend. I'm thinking of having him invite a few kids over after school a couple times a month, just to see if he forms some friendships.

Jenn - posted on 01/01/2009

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My son was that way early on but by the age of ten he started to come out of his shell on his own. He made a best friend on our street but still tends to shy away when in groups. You can help try to find someone with similar interests for him but I don't know how much more you can do.

Darcy - posted on 01/01/2009

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Give it time. You can get him involved in sports and karate something of interests where he will meet friends.

Joy - posted on 12/29/2008

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Your welcome, it took my kid a littel while but he found a friend that he had something incommon with. They like the same games and books and they started talking about that and now I can't get rid of the kids.LOL It is hard for a mom to watch her children get pasted by and we want them to have a great childhood but we as parents need to just stand back and whatch they can teach us a thing or two.LOL

Michelle - posted on 12/29/2008

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Thanks for the tips. I guess it just bothers me that he has not yet established a close relationship with other children while most of his friends that he has seem to have a best friend, another child they like a lot more than my son.

Joy - posted on 12/29/2008

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It will happen in time my son is 11 going on 12 and he just now really is getting into hanging out with friends. My daughter is 8 and can careless if she has anyone right now. He will find a friend that they just click and want to hangout together and sometime that is a girl for a boy and a boy for a girl. He is young and they have there whole life ahead of them to find friends. Give him a littel more time in the mean while you can invite friend over to just hangout or for his birthday party, ect... Don't push the subject you don't want him to feel insacure at all. I hope this help.

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