Is your son too old to go with you to the girls bathroom?

Shaunie - posted on 05/14/2010 ( 545 moms have responded )

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I'm gettin really tired of seeing 7,8,9 yr old boys in the womens bathroom with mommie, watching them peeking through the stalls at other girls, doing pee laps around the toliet seat. etc.. I see little girls that won't even go to the bathroom until the boy has left, this is a big problem for alot of people. Who do others feels about this issue?

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Laura - posted on 05/14/2010

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My son is 7, yes I take him into the ladies room with me, especially if I'm alone. I hear too many horror stories about little boys going into the men's room by themselves and having to deal with perverts and the like. There is absolutely no way I am sending my son into a public men's room by himself! So unless my husband is with me to take him to the men's room, he comes with me into the ladies.

Sherri - posted on 05/17/2010

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I have a 13, 11 and 4 yr old. Now I let the older two go by themselves but they went with me at least until 7 yrs old. If we are in an airport, train station or huge public venue I will still be taking my 11 yr old with me. He will NOT be going by himself. I am sorry I don't give a flying fig who I offend. I would rather my kids alive then dead or molested because they wanted some independence.

IMO people need to worry half as much about there own children as they do about everyone else's kids. Each parent needs to make the decision for themselves and for there children what is best. Others need to sit back and mind there own business. This is almost as silly as people up in arms for people breastfeeding in public. Children have to eat wether it be by bottle or breast and children need to go to the bathroom as long as the child is with a parent it shouldn't matter to you where they are.

Angie - posted on 05/14/2010

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I don't see a problem with boys going into the bathroom with their moms. I have never seen a boy peeking in a door and as far as the "pee laps" I always have antibacterial wipes with me. I think my son was probably 7 or so when he quit coming in with me. I had him go into the bathroom and then I yelled in the door that he should whistle until he leaves the restroom. Then I said that if he stopped whistling I'd be coming in to check on him. A lot of men laughed and many said they thought it was a great way to assure my son's safety!

Imogen - posted on 05/18/2010

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I have an 8 year old that yes I take into the bathroom with me.... his Dad lets him use the male toilets and while I understand your opinion, there is no way in hell that I am goin to risk my child by putting him in an extremely dangerous situation with other men.... I'm sorry and i really do understand, but in my sons defence he does not peek thorugh the doors to look at girls because he has learnt personal space and privacy. I go in with him, but he goes into his own cubicle, does his business, then comes out. To be honest he doesnt like to come in with me as he is more concerned about girls seeing his parts than looking at girls. This is a sensitive issue for both sides of the argument, but as the mother of 2 boys i wouldn't be doin it any other way... Australian law states that a boy child can go into the female tilets until he is 12. I don't think my boy will be in there til that age, but the law is also trying to keep them safe.

Becky - posted on 05/16/2010

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My son is turning 5, he acts appropriately in the woman's bathroom, but not to be awful & morbid but a few years back the Mom sent her 8yr old son in the mens room, she stood outside the door. A man came out, her son did not & that man had killed her son in the bathroom and she never heard a thing even though she was outside the door. what is the right age to send them in alone, I really don't know, not anytime soon for me!

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Bootycake - posted on 07/02/2014

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I think it is very, very, VERY creepy when a little boy, excuse me, big boy goes to the womens restroom and watches the women go to the restroom! So women man up and let your son poop by himself! It's very wrong! 6 is the cut off age!

Apple - posted on 04/28/2014

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Girls do the same when they are taking into the the men or boys restroom. Honestly girls peak through the stalls when a boy is using the bathroom. Girls will run up to a boy as he peeing in a urinal.

Women hanging out in the locker room and watch boys as they are dressing or undressing.

This battleis to make boys look evil. We females are no better.

Cassandra - posted on 05/09/2013

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I think that we all need to stop criticizing each other on what we think is the right thing to do. Some moms have different opinions, and parenting styles. I do agree that young boys like 5 should be fine to go into the ladies restroom. It also depends on the place and people around. In my opinion, I think age 7 to 8 should be the max age limit for a boy to go into the ladies restroom, unless in an obvious unsafe area (i.e. bus stations). I do know that I would not allow my son at age ten to go with me to the women's restroom. It doesn't mean that I care less than other moms that do or that I'm not aware of my surroundings.

Stephanie - posted on 10/11/2012

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I know this is an old post, but made me think, as I have a 3 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. One day he will be the boy going into restrooms, and there are things to think about. When the Moms speak about how each child should be treated depending on what they show they can do, well it doesn't matter how smart or responsible YOU think your 7, 8, 9 or in this attached story 10 year old child is. There is no smart way how to get away from a grown man that is 3 times his size. There are street smarts and public responsibilities parents NEED to teach their kids, NOT to be peeking into other stalls, go in & get your business done. Real things happen to innocent RESPONSIBLE INDEPENDENT children also. Sad but true, and I'd rather be safe than sorry- it only takes a second for something to happen to the little human YOU are responsible for. EYES ALWAYS OPEN PARENTS!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...

Jamie - posted on 10/02/2012

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this country need to be like japan, where all restroom and dressing room are unsex. there is no lady or men restroom they are all one, men and women use the same restroom at the same time. never have problem kids be sexual asulted

Bailey - posted on 09/28/2012

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Well in all honesty I haven't seen a single boy do that but ya know. If you have then I won't judge, but to be honest those mums who let them in there with them are just more protective, and in my head they have all right to be. I keep my son with my at all times, he's 9. I have also not heard a single complaint about bringing him in with me. I wouldn't feel right if I let him go in a male toilet where I can't watch him. The amount of crazed perverts out there are unbelievable, I mean I am not condemning it to just men but at least in the ladies room I can watch my son. I would say the limit of having boys in there with you would be at true max 13 years of age, I myself say 10 since at least then I know they are mature enough to say no to something that seems tempting.



On another note I would rather have my son do pee laps? (Never heard the term before) Than be molested or worse by some guy. I can tidy up the pee laps, whatever they are. Not the blood of my boys skin.

Cynthia - posted on 09/06/2012

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Samantha, Most people are too polite to say anything to you or don't want to bother considering they see you letting him behave this way. It is not normal for a child to run a muck in the bathroom. Most children are well behaved, its the few that have no respect for others that get these types of conversations started. Again, if you have your child in the womens bathroom, you should have control of your child. I personally don't recall anyone allowing their child to do all of these activities in a bathroom. If you are letting your son peek, go under stalls, and run around, then you need to get better control of him and take him in the stall with you. My children have never done that in a public rest room and if someone elses son was peeking at me or them, or coming under one of our stalls, I would definitely say something to their parent. Its extremely inconsiderate to impose his inappropriate behavior and your lack of control on other people. The restroom is not his personal playground and other peoples right to use it should be respected.

Samantha - posted on 09/04/2012

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ive heard to many horror stories, and lived next to one years ago. my children go with me to the ladies rest rooms, changing, showers, rest areas. its safer that way. i dont have to do everything for them but at least i know they are safe. i dont care what other women have to say or think about the matter. i have never once heard a mother complain about my son being there with me, even though he would peek run around or go under stall doors but ive seen boys do that about everywhere i have gone so i think thats normal for boys that age, curious. theres nothing wrong with taking your children in with you

Cynthia - posted on 08/30/2012

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That's a whole other topic. Why don't people teach their children how to act in public, treat other people, its not all about them, sharing, respect for other people and their property, common courtesy, its not someone else's job to watch or clean up behind your kids, you get what you get and you don't get upset, etc.

Kris - posted on 08/30/2012

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Regarding Cynthia, why should the mother clean up after them? If they are old enough to stand up and urinate, they are old enough to wipe the seat themselves!! When my son wanted to stand at 2-1/2 years old, that was fine, but HE cleaned up!! :)

Cynthia - posted on 08/30/2012

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I don't have a problem with little boys in the bathroom. I have a problem with unsupervised boys in the bathroom. If your child is too young to go into the bathroom alone, then go in the handicap stall and take the child in with you. If he's too young to be left alone in the men's bathroom, then hes too young to be left alone in the women's bathroom. Just the other day a little boy came out of the stall in the women's room by himself, pee all over the seat and the floor. I couldn't see where the mother was. Please, for heavens sake, clean up behind them.

Kasey - posted on 08/30/2012

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I think what bothers me the most about the posts, is that some parents are making little 6,7,8 yr old boys out to be sexual predators!!..hoping to cop a peek of a little girl. It litterally infuriates me..especially the ones that have come up to me and/or my son and had the nerve to make comments about him being in a women's bathroom or gym when he was 6 yrs old. Who does that??? It's just weird and I don't know why a "good" mom would care that another "good" mom was protecting her child.I do agree that moms fall in different places on a spectrum of when it's the best time to do so..but I also believe letting a small child in a men's bathroom alone..when the world is unfortunately filled with perverts...well, that is just pure negligence on their part.

Jen - posted on 08/27/2012

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I really think it would be nice if Moms didn't beat each other up over this kind of stuff. There are a million different little decisions about independence vs protection that we make for our kids, and every family makes different decisions. NONE of us do the "safest" thing for our kids all the time. If we did, they wouldn't ride in cars, play sports, or go to school. Car seats and helmets make them safER, but more kids still die in cars than anywhere else, yet almost all parents put their kids in cars anyway. A mom who allows her child to go to a public bathroom alone at 8 doesn't love her son less than a mom who waits until 10, and the mom who waits is not trying to raise a helpless child. They just fall in different places on the spectrum of when is the right time to let go. It would be nice if we could be supportive instead of accusing.

Kasey - posted on 08/27/2012

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It's obvious you do not have a boy...I see this post is old..hopefully since then, you have had a boy and then you will realize your comments are very ignorant. I have a little boy - and would never send him to the mens restroom. He has NEVER peeked through stalls or did pee laps (???) around the toilet. I am guessing this means peeing on the toilet. I have seen women cause more of a disgusting mess in the bathroom than my son ever has. Get over it lady. I'm guessing you think mom's with boys should just send them in the men's room and keep their fingers crossed that they don't get molested.

Caroline - posted on 07/16/2012

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there is a sign saying boys over six cant go into the girls changing rooms at our local pool. Theres no sign on the mens room so i once went into the mens change rooms with my son and we both got changed in their. i dont think any of the men complained Lol

Merry - posted on 07/02/2012

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Or not use public bathrooms :-)
I agree, ten is not much better then 9 nor much worse then 11 but I think it's got to be a child by child based age. Obviously no one is ever safe all the time but you know your kid and when you feel they could make good choices. I mean let's think of less dangerous situations. What if there was a random pill on the counter? You'd want to be sure your child was smart enough to not think, hey a candy! And eat it. Ya know?
Or even just something like if your kid is bad at remembering to wash his hands, or if he tends to wander off you wouldn't want to trust him outside of the bathroom while you use the ladies room.
There's SoOoO many variables.
Then there's what kind of bathroom is it? Is it a two stall one urinal type? A huge bathroom? A dirty nasty gas station one? Could there be a second exit to worry about? You don't know if it's clean in there, or is the toilets could all be nasty and stopped up. Idk. Just lots to consider.
You'd want to be sure he is fully capable of handling whatever comes up before he goes alone int a random men's bathroom.
And even then no guarantees he won't be stabbed and assaulted. :-/


It's a sick sick world sometimes and I like to believe we as moms just do the best we can

Isobel - posted on 07/02/2012

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but wait...grown men are killed by murderers too...maybe we should all travel in packs.

Isobel - posted on 07/02/2012

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I think it's interesting that he was ten....I guess we have to up our age limit...at what age do you think they can defend themselves against a grown man? I guess they need to come to the bathroom with us until they are grown men.

For the record, I am not annoyed by boys in the ladies room, it doesn't bother me one little tiny bit. I just cry for the kids who aren't allowed even to use a bathroom by themselves because of our paranoia.

and...I think Laura was saying that ten is the same as 9 or 11...which does make it a made up arbitrary number (and a useless one too as we've now seen that the victim was ten)

Christna - posted on 07/02/2012

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I just hope your kids are there when you get back after leaving them for those 2 min or send them off to do your stuff!

RENEE - posted on 07/02/2012

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I secound that, Our childrens safty comes first above any one's annoyunce with this, so all i can say to those of you who have a problem with it.........deal with it and OH WELL!!!!

Lori - posted on 07/01/2012

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This debate continues and today in Portland on a Sunday afternoon a 10 year old boy was stabbed in the bathroom at a fast food restaurant. So i will continue to stand outside the men's bathroom when my son uses a public restroom and I don't care what everyone else thinks when i talk to him through the door or ask someone to wait. Period,

Sherri - posted on 07/01/2012

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Exactly Laura she is just looking for an argument and I am certainly not biting.

Merry - posted on 07/01/2012

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10 is just as fine of a number as any other one to let kids do things they didn't used to be allowed to do. I mean you've got to pick a number somewhere so why it ten? Babysitting is 12, so 10 sounds like a good age to give them some independenc.
My oldest is 3 so I don't know for myself but I figure every mom has to look at her own child and decide what ages to let them do certain things.
And 10 is just as good as 9 or 11

Isobel - posted on 07/01/2012

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and ten is an arbitrary nonsense number that makes no sense. had you said, I wanted them to go together or I waited until THEY were ready, I totally would've agreed with you...but 10 is silly...just saying

Isobel - posted on 07/01/2012

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others of us accept the fact that bathroom rape and murder is an inevitable part of life i guess ;P

Merry - posted on 06/30/2012

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I think the moral of this 516 long past is that, some moms bring their sons into the women's room for safety. If you don't like it then hold your pee in til they leave.
Lololol

Seriously it's no ones bussiness what age I send my kids to the public bathroom alone!
If ya don't like it, find another bathroom.

Sherri - posted on 06/30/2012

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Isobel stop looking to start an argument I didn't have to tell you I why I chose not to send my children to bathroom until the age of 10. Last time I checked you weren't my mother so I don't need to explain myself to you, nor do I need to be judged by a complete stranger for my parenting skills. No need to start name calling because you simply have a different parenting style.

Isobel - posted on 06/30/2012

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oh, well then why didn't you say "they couldn't go until they could go together"? you are full of it. I guess this is the point where we agree to disagree ;)

Sherri - posted on 06/29/2012

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No I just think strength in #'s Isobel so when my first was 11, the next in line was 10. So I was confident sending them together. 1 may not be able to fend someone off but the second could surely run for help. They get to enjoy their independence just fine and my numbers are certainly not arbitrary or dreamed up. How about you raise your children how you like and stop butting your nose into how I raise mine.

Isobel - posted on 06/29/2012

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and I think we probably have a very different definition of independant. If you think an 11 year old can fend off a would-be rapist/murderer you are kidding yourself...your kids are just as lucky as any others to reach adulthood...they just don't get to enjoy independence until they reach a completely arbitrary number dreamed up by their mother because it has two digits.

Sherri - posted on 06/28/2012

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Guess what Isobel so can my 15yr old. He is not scarred because I didn't allow him to go to the restroom by himself in public till he was 10. He is now 15 in high school, about to go get a job, get his license and is studying hard so he can get a great education, go off to college and travel the world.

My kids are not afraid of the world, don't need me to function and are quite independent. So somehow I don't think your kids are geniuses because you didn't, I just find yours lucky that nothing serious ever happened to them.

Isobel - posted on 06/28/2012

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and not only can my kids stand in a store by themselves for 2.5 minutes, they can GO to the grocery store to pick up milk and eggs when I'm busy.

Isobel - posted on 06/28/2012

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I want to cry for this generation of special snowflakes...my kids will be the geniuses of the next generation because they will not be terrified of the world they live in and they will feel secure in their ability to function without me.

Sherri - posted on 06/28/2012

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No Isobel young children can not stand in a store alone for even 1 sec never mind minutes. You could actually be in big trouble depending on the age of the child.

Isobel - posted on 06/28/2012

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It makes me really sad that children are being raised by such paranoid people these days. Now kids can't even stand in a store alone for 2.5 minutes? Come on.

Sarah - posted on 06/28/2012

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Back when we were all children, we did a lot of things on our own. Now we are older and more things are out in the open. My boys are 11 and 8. I have them go into the men's bathroom and give them one minute to do their business or I'm coming in! There are too many looney people in this world to chance anything. When they were younger like 5 to 7 I would make them come into the ladies bathroom with me. Sorry, if you ladies are offending by little boys. I would never send them in a bathroom at that age by themselves. I would always have them stand by the wall and wait for me (inside the bathroom). Who ever was peeking in on you, you should have told the parent right away. Also, so what would happen if your husband took your daughter with him to the bathroom? If it was a girl how would that be different?

Leslie - posted on 06/27/2012

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I am sorry. Not usually one to post, but some of these comments infuriated me so much----- HELLO ?!!!!! It's not about whether these boys are in pull-ups, toddler, or little boy underoos! What is the .... What is wrong with u people?! I am not saying that we should let our boys go into the ladies room and act like a mini "Animal House" cast. If that's the case, then u prob. need to locate a potty with no other stalls( & if it's way over the top , maybe check on "why" that problem exists). The POINT IS: THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY SICKOS OUT THERE! JUST because we are talking about BOYS and not girls- check out your local statistics! These are our babies! It takes ALOT more strength,skill ,& awareness to fight off a twisted perv when you are a little one than it does to be able to pull down the undies and remember "if u sprinkle when u tinkle , please be neat and wipe the seat".!...and if a boy from ur daughter's class is in the ladies room, I would suggest 1st taking into consideration your order in "line" , depending on that , maybe asking POLITELY if ur daughter is embarrassed ,for the mother & son to wait outside because she (can't go;ect.),& realize that many of us, pre-angels (BOYS & GIRLS) waited to potty in much less appealing washrooms/restrooms. Have some decency, common sense, do what ur able to do w/o this ridiculousness (watch ur girls that u have in the ladies room WITH you),& GET OVER YOUR PETTY BULL (boy) POOPIE! WE ARE TALKING ABOUT OUR CHILDREN'S SAFETY NOT YOUR ROSE COLORED SOAPS AND GLASSES! Sorry for my outburst.

Jami - posted on 06/26/2012

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My son is 10 yrs. old and if he is the one that has to use the bathroom I do allow him to use the men's room while I stand at the door way and talk to him to make sure he's safe, but if I'm the one needing to use the restroom then I am not about to leave him standing in the store by himself unsupervised for anyone to walk by and take. I think that the safety of our children should superseed the fact that he's a boy (child) standing in the ladies room. He is just as embarrassed standing there as the girls who walk in needing to use the bathroom.

Donelle - posted on 06/26/2012

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I don't care if a mom brings her 15yo boy in the bathroom with her, the doors are closed and as long as they are taught to be respectful, there's nothing to worry about. However, my husband doesn't like to take our 4yo girl into the men's restroom. He said it's gross, like, literally nasty in there. And there are urinals, sometimes without sides on them even. Not something I think is even appropriate for my 10yo boy.

Merry - posted on 06/25/2012

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I doubt there's any harm in bringing boys into the ladies room til they're hitting puberty. Then I'd assume it could cause issues in their little man brains :) but really, you're not seeing naked women in public bathrooms anyways ya know? The worst you experience is hearing women pee and poop lol and that sounds jst like men so as long as the kid isn't peeking through the door or under, then I don't see the issue. And that's a matter of politeness and privacy that has to be taught to both genders.

Sherri - posted on 06/25/2012

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@Isobel my kids weren't coddled and now the oldest two are young men 15 & 13. They are far from unable to maneuver in the world because I had them go with me to the ladies room till they were 10.

Isobel - posted on 06/25/2012

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They'll never be able to protect themselves from a murderer hiding in a bathroom. If we live by that standard, none of us will ever leave the house.

I don't like sending them in on their own by the way (I've probably seen all the same scary movies you have) but it's a necessary fact of life that people need to learn how to manage.

Merry - posted on 06/25/2012

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I think I'd look for a signal stall bathroom or family bathroom. That would be the best bet for when you have older kids but not old enough to go alone. Otherwise I'd bring them with me and teach them to be polite and not stare, not look under stalls and not cause a nuisance. Or if there's a dad ith a childhoods in you could ask him to keep an eye on your son too. Idk, I don't generally get scared of such rare extreme situations. My first thought of when I'd let my son go to the men's alone was whenever he didn't need help wiping washing etc.

Sherri - posted on 06/25/2012

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@Isobel I don't see how it is coddling them to not let them in the men's room in a public place till they can safely protect themselves. I wouldn't allow them at 5 to just wonder the streets or play unsupervised outside either, it simply is not safe to do.

Isobel - posted on 06/25/2012

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what is he/she (remember we do have a Johnny on the site that is a woman) being kicked out for? I totally agree with Ron, for the record. Kids that are never allowed ANY independence grow up to be coddled little snowflakes. I'll take my one in a billion chance of harm over a guarantee that my kid grows up to be one of those.

Except in train stations and rest stops along the highway...I just can't do that.

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