Is your son too old to go with you to the girls bathroom?

Becky - posted on 05/30/2010

This is a debate for me- my son is 8 and I don't want to bring him in with me, and he does NOT want to go with me either. But, there is no way I would trust all the potential crazies out there to leave him alone in the men's room! We go to all the family restrooms possible and my husband takes him whenever possible but I am getting to the I need help stage of this! I do not know what to do and would appreciate advice.

Kelly - posted on 05/30/2010

Sure, bad things can happen to our children at any time, but it is our job as parents to do EVERYTHING we can to PREVENT the bad things that can scar them for life (or end their lives) from happening to them.

Sure, a man could snatch my child from my front yard, but that is why I don't let him play alone in the front yard.

Sure, a man could break into our home, but that is why we have security systems and surveillance.

Sure, a drunk could slam into our car, but that is why we use car seats.

Some things are not preventable, but if a thing IS preventable, why shouldn't we take every precaution possible to prevent it? Is it so horrible to take a kid into a ladies room, where he can't even see anything anyway, to prevent him from being molested or killed?

And maybe there are not as many bad men lurking in men's rooms as we think, but even if there is just one, he could be in the men's room I send my child into.

Melodie - posted on 05/30/2010

I would rather my son, who is 9, come into the ladies room, than to get stolen by some stranger out in the hallway, or outside of the ladies bathroom, while i try to use the bathroom. I know that some poeple do not like it, but for that time being i would rather have some ladies thinking im crazy than miss him for the rest of my life, and wonder who stole him. If i have someone with me who is an adult, i will leave him with them while i go.

Charity - posted on 05/30/2010

I have 9 and 10 yr old boys. I am alone alot of the time when we are out at the mall or somewhere. There are too many perverts that hang out in the mens room waiting for just such an opportunity . So, no i will not let mine go in the mens room alone .

Megan - posted on 05/30/2010

Oh and if there is a family bathroom I wait till it is free and we use that one. More places should get family bathrooms.

Rebekah - posted on 05/30/2010

What is a single mom to do? Risk leaving her child of opposite sex sitting out with the cart only to have some passerby notice and either, a, kidnap, or b, think this must be the worst mom ever and then mom is a statistic of child protective services. So, maybe we need to bug stores to have more family friendly bathrooms!

Vicky - posted on 05/30/2010

I an 11 year old I do not take him to the womens he also is uncomfortable with this however with the society we live in I will not let him go into mens on his own can still not be safe they are other options mant places now have a parents room which also have toilets in that I know is a much safer option or if needed a disabled toilet if not needed is also ok.. you just do not know who is lurking in toilets so a parent needs to do what is safe for there child at 7 IO have taken my son in womens if it was the only safe option at the time

Destinee - posted on 05/30/2010

I have 2 sons that are 6 & 8... Sometimes they come in the ladies room with me and sometimes they go in the mens room together it depends on where we are and the safety level I deem. I am a little more comfortable about it because they are together and have to wait for each other. They don't peek in the stalls, nothing interesting for them they have been going in the womens bathroom their whole lives and they know how to "aim".

Ultimately it comes down to the fact that I'm going to keep my kids safe no matter what!! Even if it makes someone else uncomfortable!!

Amanda - posted on 05/29/2010

Well said Sarah!

Sarah - posted on 05/29/2010

I am sorry, but the stories of little boys being molested and sometimes killed are actually true. Why in our country is it better to risk our little boys lives then think they might see a woman pee!? We all pee and if we make a big deal out of being naked and peeing, it only then becomes a big deal to kids. Seriously, Look up the stories, they are not urban legends. I really thing if you have a problem with boys in the woman's bathroom, you need to grow up and focus on something important.

Dena - posted on 05/29/2010

I think this is a hard topic. I would NEVER want to worry about my son's safety so if that is the issue, he would go with me! I would say that in places like amusement parks and ball games, etc. that a child should go with his mom unless he is old enough to ride his bike to a friend's house without supervision. It depends when a mom feels comfortable. I think any mom who takes her son in to the restroom with her should make sure he has boundaries and knows how to behave. I think someone should check laws because I am sure there is an age where it isn't legal any longer to take your son in the bathroom. I know that for my 8 and 9 year old girls I am still not comfortable if there are many women in the bathroom (even though women generally aren't likely to harm a child). I think every effort should be made for a boy to go in the proper place (men's bathroom/family restroom), but if you're in a busy place or a place like a rest area along a highway (those are scary!), a child's safety should come above everything! Maybe mention it to women entering that if they aren't comfortable they should wait a few minutes so you/your son could use the restroom safely. I don't think that would be much to ask ... I would likely still use the restroom, but if I didn't feel right I would wait.

Tiani - posted on 05/29/2010

well i have a six year old that comes into the ladies with me because i won't have him going on his own into somewhere i can't see him! i would dare say there are a lot of women who will say the same..so until there is a law that says i can't than, i will do it until he is old enough to go in by himself...

Jennifer - posted on 05/29/2010

As a mom that has an eight year old boy and whose husband is not always around I try to go into the "family restroom" whenever possible. I would never send my son in a public restroom alone for his own safety. I do understand the concern because I do have two girls as well but if the mom has rules for the son that has to enter the girls restroom then I do not see it as a problem. He knows not to looks through the doors or under the stalls. In the world we live in people/other moms should understand it is usually for the safety of the children.

Rebecca - posted on 05/29/2010

I dunno, Im a little 'off' about some of the replies saying that I need to open my eyes wider, and that Im basically endangering my kids by letting them go into the mens bathroom alone when I feel it's safe to do so. Do you folks realize that a majority of sexual predators pray on children they are close to such as family, neighbors, and friends... honestly, I think some of you are far too over dramatic about the "bad guys" in this world... Im aware they're out there, and Im aware that at any given moment someone could snatch my child up from my front yard or even come into my home and do something horrific... but that does NOT mean Im going to lock my child up and give him a reason to be afraid of the world... that would be RIDICULOUS

Lissa - posted on 05/29/2010

I am wondering what people are doing in a PUBLIC toilet that they are worried a little boy might see! Anything private should be going on behind a closed door unless of course people are bothered a little boy might see them apply lipstick and wash their hands. My eldest son (now 13) was not happy about having to go with me until he was 10 and certainly never peeked, he was mortified at being in the ladies. I would choose boys in the ladies than have the possibility (no matter how slim it may be) of them being harmed. We can't protect our children from everything but keeping them close to you in public places is just plain sensible

Betty - posted on 05/29/2010

my boys are 6 and 8. they go in the mens room all the time. if they are both with me, they go together. if not they both have been told that if anything makes them feel uncomfortable, they are to scream and i am coming in now. as sad as it is, in todays society parents have to tell there kids what do do in certain situations. both of my kids have been told if any one tries to touch them, says anything inappropriate to them or just makes them fell funny to yell as loud as they can and i will come in. i am always right at the door.

Megan - posted on 05/29/2010

DO you have any idea how many little boys get molested in bathrooms. It is one of the number 1 spots. It's easy to get at them because mom's are frequently alone at the store with their sons. My kids are 5 (Almost) and 3. They do not go into the mens room alone! I let them go into boys bathrooms when it is a small bathroom like in a burger king. But not at a place like walmart. My children know how to act in a bathroom. Yes They have tried to peek under doors but I tell them no and explain that it's rude. Mostly the 3 year old does that. But I've seen girls as old as 8 or 9 peeking it's a kid thing not a pervert thing. It has never bothered me to see older boys in the bathroom, as long as they still look like they are in elementary school then it's fine. If I cannot go into the mens room to make sure they are ok and I feel they are too young then I wont do it. Neither one of my kids has ever intentionally peed on the seat, and if a drop gets on there I clean it. For the most part they dont' try and peek either, because i've explained it to them. I have never seen a little girl afraid to pee because a boy was in there. Most boys and girls have siblings or cousins or friends of the opposite sex and have grown up around them. If I had a daughter that was uncomfortable I would explain to them that the boy was too young to be in the boys bathroom alone and that he is here with his mommy so he has to come in here. Then I would stand inbetween the toilet and the door so she felt more hidden.

Meher - posted on 05/29/2010

I have a 7 year old son and until recently he came into the ladies with me, I now send him to the men's and wait outside until he gets back, if he takes too long I request someone to check on him and send him back out, its always easier if my husband is with us.

Angela - posted on 05/29/2010

I too have heard horror stories and it is very hard on me I make mine use the restroom before we leave the house and if they really have to go I try to catch the ladies room empty (My sons do a James Bond move trust me they dont want to be "caught" in the GIRLS room!!!!) and there is no peeking it is in out whew we made it I love stores that offer Family restrooms that solves the whols delma right there wish more would think about that! With my husband being military he isnt home enough to have him go with me all the time so my boys and I make it work :)

Angela - posted on 05/29/2010

well i have 7 & 9 year old sons and there is no way in this world that my children are going into the Mens toilet alone because i dont know who is in there and im not able to go with them in there so they come with me into the ladies or Parents .toilets.... there could be child molesters in the toilets ... there have been stories on the news about this subject...and yes there have been child abusers in the toilets waiting for young ones to come in alone ....& if i had a daughter she would not be going into toilets on her own either!!!

Angela - posted on 05/29/2010

I too have sons and the horror stories have scared me so much I either hold it or they come with me! If they need to go I try to catch the womens restroom empty and we do a james bond move lol trust me my sons do not peek they dont want to be "caught" in the GIRLS room!!! I love stores like Publix who offer a family restroom this "fixes" the problem of other women "getting really tired" of seeing boys in the womens restrooms My question to those moms is Do you have a son you want to protect or do you not even know how hard it is on those of us who do have sons?

Amanda - posted on 05/29/2010

Well I'm very pleased I don't live in the UK then.

Susan - posted on 05/29/2010

well uk boys arent allowed in girls toilets after age of 7 period or in girls changing rooms in public swimming pools they have to go in the family changing rooms but most boys in uk dont want to go in girls toilets after 7 anyway .

Janene - posted on 05/28/2010

Would you let your 7, 8, 9 yr old girls go to the mens toilets with their daddies? NOT! you obviously dont have kids, well not in this lifetime, or else you live in a little box where there are no sickos out there just waiting to sexually abuse these so called little perverts, There is your answer!

Jacquie - posted on 05/28/2010

I am a single mom of 2. My son is 6 and my daughter is 8. I ALWAYS take my son into the ladies room with me. I am sorry if it offends anyone, but my child, my choice. Children are our responsibility, until they can fend for themselves. I have yet to see a 6 yo boy that could fend for himself against a predator in the men's room. It only takes one incident to scar a child for a lifetime.



I agree with the mom that says it's all about the parenting. My son goes in does what he is in there for and leaves. He has never peeped into stalls or done pee laps???? around the toilet seat.

Danita - posted on 05/28/2010

Uhhh, no! Sorry, but you'll be seeing my son in the bathroom with me, pee laps, or not. There are too many children being taken, molested, or just plain bullied in this world, and until he's old enough to know the difference sorry, but you will just have to be tired of boys in the restroom.

Diana - posted on 05/28/2010

I think it depends on where you live, where the bathroom is and such. My son is 7 and I still make him go with me in places like ballparks, movies, malls, etc. However, if we're in a restaurant that has a small bathroom, I will let him go by himself. I watch who is coming and going and I am not beyond cracking the door and yelling in if I think it's taking too long. He doesn't peek cause he doesn't want anyone doing it to him and I've never heard about pee laps before (must've missed that update). I've had more problems with women/girls not watching where they're p'ing than with boys.

Donelle - posted on 05/28/2010

There's no way I'm leaving my 8 year old alone in public in this day in age.

Patti - posted on 05/28/2010

my sons are 7 and 9 and they go to the bathroom with me. my sons are respectfull go in stall with me and donot do any of the above mentioned. sorry if this offends you but i would rather have my kids safe . do you read papers or watch the news? apparently not or you wouldnot make this ridiculous statement.obviously you donot have sons or maybe you arenot protective of your childern? to me this is absolutely absurd!

Melissa - posted on 05/28/2010

I also use the pee before we leave thing to avoid the issue with mine. But we don't really go out alot without my husband or my dad so I don't really have to worry about it. For single mom's I guess I would just take him in and cover his eyes if it makes him uncomfortable, I've done that with Cole before. but you are right, it's not important what other people think, it's best to be safe, just make sure he's not wandering the stalls. On that note, what do you do when your the one that has to go and you can't leave him outside of the bathroom alone waiting for you, and there's not alot of room for him to stand in the stall with you? Luckily, I have an older daughter and I've had them stand in the bathroom against the wall but still what's the best idea there?

Grace - posted on 05/28/2010

I agree m y son does not want to go in with me but we don't make a big deal of it because its not an option..I tell him I love him dearly and have to take care of him and I can't if he's in the Men's bathroom..it is what it is..whoever doesn't like it..you hold ur pee..lol

Aimee - posted on 05/28/2010

I know how you feel. I could care less what people think when it comes to the safety of my kids. I don't scare them. It's just another one of mom's rules. They know to stand and wait.

Sharon - posted on 05/28/2010

YOU as the parent have to be extremely careful now a days!!! Back when I was a kid not an issue...So if anyone has a problem with a mother bringing in their son to the womens bathroom...GET OVER YOURSELVES!!! We want to be safe and not Sorry!!!! I bring in my children and my husband brings in our daughter if he has too also!!!!

Melissa - posted on 05/28/2010

Well my 7-year old refuses to go in with me and goes by himself. If I'm alone with him I stand outside the door and make him talk to me through the door the whole time. I think it's up to the parent to determine what is too old to go in the ladies room, but my son doesn't want anything to do with the ladies room. Usually, I try to have my husband or dad with us so it doesn't really come up too much. If we are someplace like the mall that has family bathrooms, though I will go in with him, but I have to turn around so I can't see. I have been in a situation where a little boy completely crawled into my stall when I was doing my business. I kinda yelled at him to get out and said "whoever's kid this is, could you please keep him out of the stalls?" So if you do take your kids boys or girls, into the bathroom, please pay attention to them, or pee another time.

Grace - posted on 05/28/2010

WOW Aimee you see hell no..i do not care who it bothers my son will not be going alone for some years to come and when hes 10..hmmphh i feel sorry for the men in there cuz i will be stalking my son..its soo hard nowadays craziness everywhere..thanks for sharing1

Aimee - posted on 05/28/2010

I read about that murder in the bathroom. It scared the sh*t out of me. The aunt took him to the bathroom and was waiting for him by the door. The man walked in, stabbed and slashed the little boy and left. All in a matter of minutes. The aunt walked in when he didn't answer her calls and found him. http://www.cnn.com/US/9811/16/boy.killed...

Grace - posted on 05/28/2010

I am a single mother and I will be damned i let my 6 yr old go to the Men's bathroom alone..sorrrryyyy but he goes in the stall with me. Even if he didnt @ 6 the last thing on his mind is girls so hes not peeking or caring what female is in there doing what! I am also a mother of 2 girls 14 and 3 and as long as a little boy was not being fresh I would respect him being there with his mother. If a 11 yr old boy is in a female's bathroom thats def a problem but thisis a crazy world and call it paranoia if need be but im not sending my son into a bathroom where i have no idea what perv is lurking in there..no way!

Vicky - posted on 05/28/2010

*I* feel uncomfortable going into some public toilets, and I'm a 40 year old woman. If I feel uncomfortable going into a woman's toilet at age 40, then should I not be even more worried about my 6 year old son going into a *mens* toilet?

My boy doesn't like coming into the women's with me, and we fight about it. If I think the men's is safe I will let him go in on the proviso he sings or otherwise talks to me constantly, and I have no problem at all going into the men's to see if he's safe (he likes to dither). But many times, when there's no family room and no disabled toilet, and my 'gut' gets nervous, I drag him kicking & screaming into the women's. He doesn't like it and complains loudly, but will get on with the job so he can leave as quick as he can. He doesn't 'peek' and I clean up whatever mess he leaves (just as I clean up any mess I leave), but sometimes *I* have to go and don't want him just waiting around unsupervised (he'll find something to occupy himself, always a bad move). He therefore comes in the stall with me, crowded though it is.

In the end I am responsible for his safety, and I couldn't live with myself if something happened to him because I softened my safety rules because other people may not like them. If other people have a problem with it, Tough. He's my son, not yours, and I will care for him as I see fit.

Julie - posted on 05/28/2010

I got lucky that my boys are twins, I never let them go alone. I have them use the men's room, but only as a pair at age 11. Depending on the public place, I make my daughter be with me, although at age 7 she would insist she's fine alone.
It's got to be an awful feeling as a mother leaving a kid alone in the men's room or outside waiting for mom to come out of the ladies room in some places.
I do always try to make everyone go before we go somewhere or encourage use of restrooms in places I feel are safer if we're going several places. Usually by age 5 kids can control long enough to get somewhere else.

Liza - posted on 05/28/2010

I have a 5 and 6 year old I take them into the ladies room with me when I'm alone, if Pop's is with us they go with him. Actually my boys hate that I take them into the womens bathroom. BUT years ago before I even had kids I was at a local Target and saw a ruckus happening up front. A man attempted to rape a little boy in the mens bathroom! I later saw it on the evening news. From that point I vowed NEVER to let my boys go alone into the men's bathroom. With that said I teach them manners. They are not to peek through stalls, I lift the lid with my shoe in case they miss so on and so forth. I'll take a dirty look from a woman any day over some crazy person waiting for a little boy to come into the bathroom.

Olasimbo - posted on 05/28/2010

i have a 7 and 11yr old boys, and i dont take them to the ladies because at that age they know more than what u think they do( thanx and no thanx to technology), but at the same time i do follow them to the men's room and wait outside and if they are taking to much time in there, i call out their name to find out what is on.

Heidi - posted on 05/28/2010

it has nothing to do with if THEY are ready, it is the sick adults out there to prey on children.

Jessy - posted on 05/28/2010

My son is 7 and yes I still take him into the restroom with me. He is safer there then waiting outside. And as for the people saying that is what the family restroom is for, well maybe more of us would use it if it wasn't occupied by a single person. If a single person can use a family bathroom then why can't a family use a regular womens only bathroom. My kids and I were in the family restroom and someone kept banging on the door telling us to hurry they needed to use the restroom and when we came out it was just a single woman, no kids in sight. So if people want to gripe about boys in the womens restroom then maybe we should all gripe about single people using the family restrooms.

Angela - posted on 05/28/2010

I have a 7 year old son, and yes I do take him into the bathroom with me. Although, I do not allow him to peek in other stalls or do "pee laps" around the toilet seet. I am not comfortable with him going into the men's bathroom himself. Not that I don't think he is capable, I do not trust others in the bathroom with him. As for me, my son will go in the bathroom with me until I fell comfortable sending him in the men'e himself. If a mother is taking her son in the women's bathroom she needs to make him behave.

Angie

Joelle - posted on 05/28/2010

Great answer kimberly.. I allow my son to go with me - but sometimes he wants to go by himself and that is when I use the family bathroom and stand outside the entire time

Kimberly - posted on 05/28/2010

There are some sick twisted people out there and it takes no time at all for something to happen to a child. I have two daughters (8 and almost 5) but if I had boys the same age, they'd still be coming in the restroom with me. I would cry a long time if something happened to one of them. It's piece of mind. I know they're with me and they're safe.

Joelle - posted on 05/28/2010

I have to agree to disagree but as a mother of a 10 year old, there are too many sicko's is todays society, and I had the situation once in WalMart where a man followed my son into the bathroom and waited for him to leave, but he was smart and did not and kept saying my name until I had the gal to go into the mens room to make sure my son was safe to see the man - asking my son if he was okay.... Now my son is not like the typical young boys who run around and peak in the stalls, and I know there are some, so what I decided to do if the store offers a family bathroom - that is the one I use.

Heidi - posted on 05/28/2010

Not all stores have family bathrooms....in our town only two stores do...walmart and target...that is not always an option.

I tell my 6 year old son that the womens room is for mommies and children...because he is too young to go in the mens room.

I am in aww that anyone would have an issue, this is the safty of your children we are talking about.

Sharon - posted on 05/28/2010

Here is the problem...what do you do when you (the Mother) takes the kids out and you have one that is 7 (boy) and a 8 (girl)...They all have to go at the sametime...In this day and age...is a 7 year old boy safe going by himself to the mens room alone?

Tammy - posted on 05/28/2010

There is absolutely no way I would send my 6 yr old son into a men's room alone, so I either look for a family restroom (the one room type) where he can go alone or I go with him, or he goes to the ladies room with me. If I have to use the restroom and he does not, he stands directly outside my stall where I can see his feet the entire time, so there is no chance he's peeking in other stalls. He doesn't like to use the girls bathroom, but there is no way I'm going to leave him alone. Period. I would consider myself (not judging others, just my thoughts) a neglectful mother if I either left my child alone in a hallway so I can use the restroom, or sent him into a public restroom alone where who knows who is waiting inside.